OUT TO PASTOR
By Dr. James L. SnyderGazette Contributor
Flying in an airplane is not my preferred style of transportation. However, flying without an airplane is quite disastrous, if you know what I mean!
I am not quite sure the Wright brothers would be too happy with some of the things passing as airplanes these days. It seems to me that psychotic midgets have designed modern day airplanes. Nothing in an airplane is designed for the normal person, and I might as well say it, I consider myself normal. I may be a shade taller than normal but I am normal in every other respect.
One plane I took from Detroit to Dayton Ohio was about as small as I have ever been on. Walking down the aisle, I could not even stand up but had to bend over in order to walk down the aisle. I heard a noise behind me that startled me and I stood up only to dash my head against the ceiling. That was not the worst headache of my flight.
One of these days, I would like to meet the person who designed the seats in those planes. I will admit to being a little less than post thin, but after all shouldn't you be able to sit down in a seat when you are flying?
I truly do not understand what a seatbelt is for with individuals like me. I can barely squeeze myself into that seat and then it takes me about 15 minutes to extract myself from the seat. I suppose a seatbelt is for the comfort of the pilot who believes that somehow I will not bounce out of my seat while he is flying. I could not bounce out if my life depended upon it.
My seat was so tight and I fit so snugly in it that when I sneezed it felt like I did some damage to my inner organs. Somewhere in the Constitution there has to be something to the effect that an individual has the right to sneeze without hurting himself.
What I want to know is why do I always have to sneeze when I am in certain situations like this?
Then, comes the time when you need to go to the bathroom. The flight attendant will bring you all the free beverages you can consume. They know, and I guess they are snickering behind our back, that everybody is going to have to go to the bathroom at the same time.
Coordinating the bathroom run is one of the trying exploits of flying the friendly skies.
For one, by the time I realize I have to go to the bathroom there is a line for the bathroom. Fortunately, by the time I extricate myself from my seat, the line has dwindled dramatically. Then again, I have to go to the bathroom so bad I am dancing up the aisle to the bathroom to the great applause of the people sitting there.
Once I fasten myself into the seat, I try to get comfortable enough to do a little reading. Since I am sitting in the aisle seat, everybody is bumping into me as they go up and down the aisle.
Now that I am situated so that I cannot move, they come again with beverages. Why is it I forget there is a link between drinking a beverage and going to the bathroom? I know there is a link but when I am up in the air so high my tiny little grey cells are working in slow motion. So why take a free beverage? Well, it is free!
I am at the age in my development where going to the bathroom is a frequent activity, even when not drinking any beverages. When consuming a beverage, this activity kicks into high gear. Once again, I need to extricate myself from my seat and find my way to the bathroom.
I am not quite sure about this, but I believe in mid air the airplane pilot switches the bathroom from the front to the rear. I am dancing up the aisle, which I believe is in the direction of the bathroom, only to discover I am going in the wrong direction.
A few of the people in the seats are smiling at me and one person gives me a thumbs-up as I turn around and dance in the direction of the actual bathroom facility. With a forced grin, I give a thumbs-up back at him and proceed in the direction of the bathroom.
It is at this point that I run into a line. Wouldn't you know it; the line is for the bathroom?
This is a real thumbs-down for me. It is at this point that I really wish I was not a gentleman. After all, a gentleman has to let the ladies go first. I think if some of these ladies would know the actual situation, they would insist I go first and I certainly would give them a wonderful thumbs-up.
As I was standing in line, a verse of Scripture popped into my head.
"And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left" (Isaiah 30:21 KJV).
Many things in life have us going in circles to which there is no end. God, however, puts us on the straight and narrow path that ends with Jesus Christ.
Rev. James L. Snyder is pastor of the Family of God Fellowship, PO Box 831313, Ocala, FL 34483. He lives with his wife, Martha, in Silver Springs Shores. Call him at 1-866-552-2543 or e-mail jamessnyder2@att.net. His web site is www.jamessnyderministries.com.
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Sunday, November 3, 2013
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