A return to sanity

<div>I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever make peace with food. Today was suppose to be day number four of eating 1200 calories. My average calories for the previous three days was 1294 a day, not quite my 1200 goal. </div><div></div><br /><div>My energy level was zero when the alarm went off at 4:45 a.m. today, my normal time to get up and head out to the gym before work. This morning I just couldn't do it. I was so tired that I shut off the alarm and went back to sleep. </div><div></div><br /><div>When I finally woke up at 7:30 a.m. my husband had already left for work. I still felt like I couldn't get out of bed. I decided to stay home from work. I was so tired that even getting ready for work sounded like more than I could do. After two days back from a 25-day vacation I took a day off. I couldn't help it. My body and mind weren't cooperating. </div><div></div><br /><div>I ate a healthy breakfast and then went right back to bed. I didn't get up until 11 a.m. When I finally got up I was still exhausted. I felt like I couldn't move.</div><div></div><br /><div>I realized that although the 1200 calories a day plan works for a lot of people for quick weight loss, it's just not right for me. I'm not criticizing the plan all. I'm just not willing to feel extremely hungry, tired and weak all the time. To be really honest, if I had to live like this the rest of my life I think I'd rather not live.</div><div></div><br /><div>Now what?</div><div>I need to do something since I really need to lose a minimum of 25 pounds (preferrably 35). The only logical thing is to go back to the Weight Watcher plan and follow it faithfully.</div><div></div><br /><div>I still think it's the best weight loss plan out there. I've been reading the Getting Started book for the new plan (again). </div><div></div><br /><div>Just for fun I'm still going to track my calories and Points for the rest of the month. I didn't track anything today because honestly, I was just to tired and I really didn't care about much of anything. I ate more than 1200 calories and I feel much better tonight. I'm not seeing stars when I stand up to quickly.</div><div></div><br /><div>I want to keep my calories under 1500. If I track the Points and calories for a month, I can get a good idea of how the zero Point fruits are affecting my daily calorie count. Once I get an idea of how many fruits I can eat and still stay under 1500 calories, I'll keep that as a limit for myself. <br /><br />I feel like for me, this is the sane thing todo.</div>

A return to sanity

I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever make peace with food. Today was suppose to be day number four of eating 1200 calories. My average calories for the previous three days was 1294 a day, not quite my 1200 goal. My energy level was zero when the alarm…

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NOIR CITY 9 - Schedule announced for 9th annual San Francisco festival

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhf6UIlyfzCiA632zG_vUAXoNoN_3t0_-POqJqR272_OWXP4oEHryKS0X1XPu4sdD4NbpwonkLxHIrtUwn1lvL754lYWyJJMG259aInmG17KgsVtQQi95e9-cl9puP1mfDZnkMUQv2VCsG8/s1600/9+noir+city+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhf6UIlyfzCiA632zG_vUAXoNoN_3t0_-POqJqR272_OWXP4oEHryKS0X1XPu4sdD4NbpwonkLxHIrtUwn1lvL754lYWyJJMG259aInmG17KgsVtQQi95e9-cl9puP1mfDZnkMUQv2VCsG8/s320/9+noir+city+2.jpg" width="236" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The ninth annual San Francisco film noir festival, Noir City 9, will run from Friday, January 21, through Sunday, January 30, at the historic Castro Theatre; 24 films noir, both celebrated and obscure, will screen.</span><br /><a name='more'></a><br /><span style="font-family: Arial;">A presentation of the Film Noir Foundation, this festival is the centerpiece of the organization's effort to find and preserve films in danger of irreparable damage. The foundation's advisory council includes best selling novelists James Ellroy and Dennis Lehane, actress Marsha Hunt and film historian/critic Leonard Maltin. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Arial;">Film Noir Foundation founder and president Eddie Muller, known as "the czar of noir," is a writer and filmmaker who frequently speaks at noir screenings. Earlier this year he was a special guest at Robert Osborne's 2010 classic film festival in Athens, GA, where he introduced the screening of <b>Double Indmenity.</b> Muller has also provided commentary on noir DVDs (<b>Fallen Angel</b>, <b>The Lineup</b>, <b>They Live by Night</b> and many others).</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Arial;">The Film Noir Foundation also produces festivals in Chicago and Washington, DC.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Arial;"><a href="http://noircity.com/noircity.html"><span style="color: #cc0000;">Click here</span></a> for screening times and pricing.</span><br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGVkA3-QEKr5gw9p7r3WlcHE33rL8jVxSu0AlMuVwPhLiiN6zbRiSkZK-jzlUHKoHvYR2IhuEtrwkNpp2HZBOwA6g1bmvV_WS3tkQgjr7GAjKDhCl7VOa2lDpBaiAfDnygJmQ9fAWUPTKk/s1600/2+stranger.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="245" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGVkA3-QEKr5gw9p7r3WlcHE33rL8jVxSu0AlMuVwPhLiiN6zbRiSkZK-jzlUHKoHvYR2IhuEtrwkNpp2HZBOwA6g1bmvV_WS3tkQgjr7GAjKDhCl7VOa2lDpBaiAfDnygJmQ9fAWUPTKk/s320/2+stranger.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Stranger on the Third Floor (1940)</td></tr></tbody></table><h1 style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><u><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Friday Jan. 21</span></u></h1><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>High Wall</b> (1947), with Robert Taylor and Audrey Totter</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>The Stranger on the Third Floor</b> (1940), starring Peter Lorre, considered "the first American film noir"</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br /></div><h1 style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><u><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Saturday Jan. 22</span></u></h1><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Strangers in the Night</b> (1944), directed by Anthony Mann</span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Gaslight </b>(1944), with Ingrid Bergman, Charles Boyer and Joseph Cotten </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>They Won’t Believe Me</b> (1947), with Robert Young, Susan Hayward and Jane Greer</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Don’t Bother to Knock</b> (1952), with Richard Widmark and Marilyn Monroe</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br /></div><h1 style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><u><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Sunday Jan. 23</span></u></h1><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>A Double Life</b> (1947), directed by George Cukor, with Ronald Colman (<i>watch a clip featuring Colman's Oscar-winning performance below</i>)</span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Among the Living</b> (1941), with Albert Dekker, Susan Hayward and Frances Farmer</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br /></div><h1 style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><u><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Monday Jan. 24</span></u></h1><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>The Lady Gambles</b> (1949), with Barbara Stanwyck</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Sorry, Wrong Number</b> (1948) directed by Anatole Litvak, with Barbara Stanwyck and Burt Lancaster</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br /></div><h1 style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><u><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Tuesday Jan. 25</span></u></h1><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>The Dark Mirror </b>(1948) directed by Robert Siodmak , with Olivia de Havilland and Lew Ayres</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Crack-Up </b>(1947), with Pat O’Brien, Herbert Marshall and Claire Trevor</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br /></div><h1 style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><u><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Wednesday Jan. 26</span></u></h1><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTM1szJGJ3lBp31y4bO_QA2LiMEco1qQiMdXidGNA1QihVn84hQ0N9DG8H82KFnJYt8jbsynOA2l96vnjlEvaYw3nXQGzYUMP7jVQITaLtUYoU9_1uQjCmx9TGYHa9DNAdmOB1igi60ygO/s1600/1+woman+in+sand.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="256" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTM1szJGJ3lBp31y4bO_QA2LiMEco1qQiMdXidGNA1QihVn84hQ0N9DG8H82KFnJYt8jbsynOA2l96vnjlEvaYw3nXQGzYUMP7jVQITaLtUYoU9_1uQjCmx9TGYHa9DNAdmOB1igi60ygO/s320/1+woman+in+sand.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Woman on the Beach (1947)</td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>The Woman on the Beach </b>(1947), directed by Jean Renoir, with Robert Ryan and Joan Bennett</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Beware My Lovely </b>(1952), with Ida Lupino and Robert Ryan</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br /></div><h1 style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><u><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Thursday Jan. 27</span></u></h1><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>The Two Mrs. Carrolls</b> (1947), with Humphrey Bogart and Barbara Stanwyck</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>My Name is Julia Ross </b>(1945), with Nina Foch and George Macready</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br /></div><h1 style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><u><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Friday Jan. 28</span></u></h1><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Crashout </b>(1955), with William Bendix, Arthur Kennedy and<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>William Talman</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Loophole </b>(1953), with Barry Sullivan and Charles McGraw</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br /></div><h1 style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><u><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Saturday Jan. 29</span></u></h1><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Blind Alley </b>(1939) directed by Charles Vidor, with Chester Morris, Ann Dvorak and Ralph Bellamy</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Secret Beyond the Door </b>(1948) directed by Fritz Lang,  with Joan Bennett and Michael Redgrave (this year’s “incomprehensible” film)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>The Strange Affair of Uncle Harry</b> (1945) directed by Robert Siodmak, with George Sanders, Geraldine Fitzgerald and Ella Raines</span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">So Evil My Love </span></b><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">(1948), with Ann Todd, Ray Milland and Geraldine Fitzgerald</span></span><br /><br /><b><u><span style="font-family: Arial;">Sunday Jan. 30</span></u></b><br /><span style="font-family: Arial;"><b>Angel Face </b>(1952), directed by Otto Preminger, with Jean Simmons and Robert Mitchum</span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial;"><b>The Hunted </b>(1948), with Preston Foster and Belita</span><br /><br /><object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/qhhWLHVBezc?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/qhhWLHVBezc?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

Eddie Muller Film Noir Film Noir Festival Noir City 9 San Francisco film noir festival The Lady Eve (author) NOIR CITY 9 - Schedule announced for 9th annual San Francisco festival

The ninth annual San Francisco film noir festival, Noir City 9, will run from Friday, January 21, through Sunday, January 30, at the historic Castro Theatre; 24 films noir, both celebrated and obscure, will screen.A presentation of the Film Noir Foun…

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Interpreting Reality As World Making

It is fashionable in some circles to say we make our own lives with our attitudes. Whatever we are like inside manifests in our outer circumstances. This morning it snowed in Las Vegas. I suppose according to the “manifest” theory, it was something in my attitude that caused the snow. Oddly enough, it seems a couple million of us fell into the same mood at the same time since it snowed on all of us, “the just and the unjust alike.” Maybe the notion that we create our own reality is a big of an exaggeration. But there is something to it.<br /><br />Experiences make up our lives and we are constantly interpreting our experiences. So much depends on interpretation. Suppose for example, I am on a multi-lane highway. I turn on my left blinker signaling my intent to change lanes. The car a little behind me in the lane to my left accelerates and passes me. What happened? I might surmise he was a competitive driver who wanted to get ahead of me before I got ahead of him. Possible. But maybe he was concerned he was in my blind spot and was dashing for safety. Or maybe he figured that if he hung back waiting for me, I would hang back waiting for him, and we would both waste time dilly dallying, and by passing me he was actually allowing me to change lanes quicker and more safely. Or maybe he just noticed he was late and sped up without even noticing my blinker. Which interpretation I put on the anonymous driver’s action is up to me and says more about me than it does about him.<br /><br />Is everything interpretation? No. Some things are facts, or at least direct experiences. But we interpret all of them and the interpretations we give determine the flavor, the texture, the quality of our lives. All of our interpretations flow from one basic interpretation. It is our comprehensive interpretation of reality itself – our understanding of why there is something instead of nothing, of why it is as it is, moves as it moves. Our belief or disbelief in God is the fundamental interpretation on which everything else depends.<br /><br />I received an e-mail recently from someone trying to decide whether God exists. She may have been inviting me to try to persuade her of God’s existence. But here’s the kicker. The question is wrong to start with. Christian theologians, going back at least to St. Thomas Aquinas (and really much farther back) have not said that God “exists” – not the way anything else in the universe exists. God is not such a thing. Many Christians never get past the children’s Sunday School picture of God as “the man upstairs.” Even if we aren’t so naively anthropomorphic as to think God is a man, we are apt to think he is a being along with the other beings in the universe, only bigger, stronger, smarter, and older. Like the abominable snowman or intelligent aliens, such a being might or might not exist. However, if such a being does exist, he is not God. Orthodox, traditional theology teaches that God is not a being along with all the other beings, just bigger. Our best contemporary theologians agree. As Kathryn Tanner says, “God is not a kind of thing among other kinds of things.”<br /><br />God is that out of which all being arises and into which all being sinks when it ceases to be. St. Paul said, “From him and through him and to him are all things,” and “In him we live and move and have our being.” In Christian doctrine, God is the source, the destiny, and the meaning of reality itself. St. Augustine saw God as the ultimate object of all our longings. The 20th Century Roman Catholic theologian, Karl Rahner, wrote of God as the source and the destiny of reality, “the whence and the whither” – “whence comest thou? whither goest thou?”<br /><br />Likewise we believe, or at least hope, that there is some deep sense to reality, some order, some meaning. We believe that there is truth and that the truths we know, and the truths we do not yet know, may be ordered within an overarching, comprehensive structure of Truth which we cannot know. We value things. Indeed, we hold that things actually have intrinsic value. And of all that is valuable, there must be that which is most valuable, ultimately valuable, something that finally matters. Just so, we delight in beauty, believing, or at least hoping, that there may be a greatest beauty beyond the reach even of our imagination.<br /><br />Each of these things – source, destiny, meaning, sense, order, truth, value, beauty – could be its own object of devotion. Each could be regarded as a god. But monotheism rolls all of this, and much more into the unified concept of the one God. Monotheism teaches that there is no final conflict between truth and beauty, that our source, our destiny, and our purpose are all one. All of this is in God. To put a point on it, God is very big – far too big to fit inside the universe. God does not fit inside anything. Everything must fit inside God. So God is not a being among other beings, a value among other values, a power among other powers.<br /><br />To believe in God is not to believe that a particular thing exists. It is to believe something about all our experiences, to trust, to hope, to risk our fate on something deeply true in reality. To believe in God is to affirm truth, beauty, goodness, that life has meaning and value.<br /><br />To believe in God is an act of interpretation. Interpretations are not facts. But that does not make them entirely subjective. Some interpretations may be more reasonable than others, more plausible or probable than others, and certainly some are more helpful than others. Philosophers and theologians rarely offer “proofs of God” anymore. Since interpretation always smacks of mystery and God, as the meta-interpretation of everything, is infinitely mysterious – God is not subject to proofs. Instead, philosophers like Alvin Plantinga now speak of “warrants for faith” – meaning reasons to justify believing in God, lines of thought demonstrating that faith is reasonable.<br /><br />A wonderful example of such a warrant for faith is Anthony Flew’s book, There Is A God. Flew was the leading atheist philosopher of our time – a real philosopher unlike the pop atheists (Dawkins, et al) on the bookshelves today. But Flew ultimately concluded that God is the best explanation for the existence of this universe we experience.<br /><br />Now back to the power of interpretation: We control some of our experiences – the things we do. We do not control others – the things that happen to us. But we interpret all of them. My assumptions about human nature, or at least Las Vegas drivers, will determine the motives I attribute to the person who zipped around me when I had my blinker on. That interpretation will shape my mood for awhile. My mood will shape my further interpretations of the next events as well as my behavior and indirectly the way people respond to my behavior and then my interpretation of their responses.<br /><br />So what did I believe about today when I woke up? Did I believe it would be an episode in a Darwinian power struggle or the closely related Marxist class conflict? Or was it to be a random, meaningless exercise in futility acted out in an existentialist void? Or is it the Day the Lord has made for us to rejoice and be glad in it? And what of these people I encounter? Are they my Darwinian rivals for survival, human commodities to be used for some gain, or brothers and sisters in Christ?<br /><br />Experience is just raw data until we interpret it, and our interpretation is a matter of will – as William James called it “the will to believe” – guided by reason. So let us ask two questions: First, is it plausible, is it reasonable to believe that the universe has a source and a destiny, that all this actually has a raison d’être? The vast majority of people who have lived on this planet have thought so. The greatest philosophers and theologians have thought so. Second, is it helpful to believe such a thing? How will I experience life with God and how will I experience life without God? What difference might faith in God make to my behavior, to the kind of person I become?<br /><br />There is an objective world. We live in it every day. I cannot pretend the other cars are not on the road except at my extreme peril. But that world affords me only the raw data for interpretation. After that, I have it in my power to create a godless universe or a godly one in which to live this life, “to make a very hell of heaven or heaven of hell.” Such is the power of faith. “Faith” is the foundational interpretation which can make or break a life. That’s why sometimes Jesus did not just zap people with healing energy but rather told them “your faith has made you whole.”

Interpreting Reality As World Making

It is fashionable in some circles to say we make our own lives with our attitudes. Whatever we are like inside manifests in our outer circumstances. This morning it snowed in Las Vegas. I suppose according to the “manifest” theory, it was something i…

Read more »