I am exhausted

This has been a hard week, even though I Wednesday was my first day back at work. Sleep has been elusive. I can fall asleep, but wake up at 1:00 am, or earlier if I go to bed earlier. Then toss and turn until it's time to get up. It's killing me.<br /><br />The sleep doctor I saw yesterday, who was wonderful, said my tonsils are huge, and my mouth is too small. Isn't that funny, the fat girl has a tiny mouth? <br /><br />He wants to do a sleep study, which I dread, but he said he's almost positive I need to have my tonsils removed. He emphasized the surgery is minor, a fifteen-minute procedure, but the pain afterwards is pretty serious. He said I'd lose weight. I told him to sign me up now. Sounds like fun weigh-loss surgery.<br /><br />I've actually known I've needed a tonsillectomy for years. Every doctor that has ever looked in my mouth and made me say "ahhhhh" has commented on my huge tonsils. I just never connected it to waking me up during the night. The problem is the breathing. Because "of my age" (sick of hearing that by the way), he said the muscles aren't as taunt as the use to be, then with the tonsils and my small mouth, it's causing me to stop breathing.<br /><br />Thankfully he said a CPAP machine wouldn't help. That's a good thing because I had no intention of getting one. <br /><br />As soon as my wrist heals, I'll do the sleep study, and then my tonsils removed. At 56. If it'll help me sleep, I'll do it. Right now I'd just about sell my soul to the devil for a good night's sleep. <br /><br /><br />

I am exhausted

This has been a hard week, even though I Wednesday was my first day back at work. Sleep has been elusive. I can fall asleep, but wake up at 1:00 am, or earlier if I go to bed earlier. Then toss and turn until it's time to get up. It's killing me.The …

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Live From Quito 1

This experience is marred by my feeling lousy. It could be the 2 root canals I had the afternoon before my flight, or the antibiotics I am taking, or the altitude, or being too old to travel this much. But I wouldn't miss it. Connecting with the other bishops is so energizing, edifying, and spiritually important. <br /><br />it is spiritually important because this is how we form and sustain the church. The church is not at heart an authority structure. It is a web of relationships. Human friendships with people in other dioceses --not canons or commissions -- expand our identity beyond Nevada. Relationships make us bigger and bigger hearted. Each day I pray for this diocese Ecuador Central and it's bishop Luis, for the diocese of Machakos (Kenya) and it's bishop Joseph, and for the diocese of Santiago (Philippines) and its bishop Alexander. Knowing, appreciating, and praying for each other is how we form the church. We do some of that in Nevada. Many of our priests this year resolved to pray on a daily basis for 5 other priests. That's a start. I wonder what other networks of people might undertake to intentionally get acquainted and pray for one another.<br /><br />Today we began with Holy Eucharist and a great sermon by Bishop Katharine on our duty as Christians to act and advocate for peace, reconciliation, and justice. Leading the church in the way of Jesus is bound to get resistance from those our scriptures call "worldly minded" (meaning that their secular ideologies trump their faith). But that resistance does not compare with the risks taken by Christians in Zimbabwe, Sri Lanka, or the Philippines when they defend the poor and the outcasts. We need the Anglican Communion so they can inspire us with their strength and courage. <br /><br />After the Eucharist we had small group check in followed by a report from the Medical Trust on our insurance premiums. That is a big problem for some dioceses including ours. They are working on it.At lunch, I slipped off with two buddies, Prince Singh of Rochester and Scott Mayer of Northwest Texas. We compared notes on Bishoping and told stories from our dioceses. This too is how we keep the chuch knitted together.In the afternoon we heard from a Kansas theologian about the place of peace and justice advocacy in the Anglican tradition going back to the 17th century on up through 19th century when Bishop Charles Gore grounded social justice in the Incarnation and the 20th Century's Archbishop William Temple who tied justice to the sacraments. Then we head from a Brazillian bishop about the church's on the ground experiences with social justice ministries.<br /><br />After a pleasant dinner of Ecuadoran dishes most of which I did not recognize I have called it day well spent.

free Live From Quito 1

This experience is marred by my feeling lousy. It could be the 2 root canals I had the afternoon before my flight, or the antibiotics I am taking, or the altitude, or being too old to travel this much. But I wouldn't miss it. Connecting with the othe…

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One Year Ago Today...

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTpiz8huiiayQq6tRxZZ1wVzu6-iKEjtVWFfp8D2mm8UvdNg3SZe1bz12zkWtN4PYmSdoFBtr5ppe9QARmMP1K3gnxTRD8C-QV_fWhlvMgjd7cc_mDxcr9HEHHsBlobQeu-K5vC7EMgF2W/s1600/Cake.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTpiz8huiiayQq6tRxZZ1wVzu6-iKEjtVWFfp8D2mm8UvdNg3SZe1bz12zkWtN4PYmSdoFBtr5ppe9QARmMP1K3gnxTRD8C-QV_fWhlvMgjd7cc_mDxcr9HEHHsBlobQeu-K5vC7EMgF2W/s400/Cake.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br /><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">The Lady Eve's Reel Life is one year old today...and no one is more surprised by this anniversary than the lady herself. When I nervously posted my first piece on TCM's Classic Film Union blog pages about 2-1/2 years ago I didn't imagine I'd soon be contributing to a collaborative blog (<i>The Classic Film & TV Cafe</i>) and would, not too much later, begin a blog of my own. I never would have believed that along the way I'd get to know and interview two amazing women, one a former child actress who'd been featured in a Hitchcock classic,<i> </i>and the other the daughter of an iconic star of the silent era. As fulfilling as all of this has been, equally rewarding is getting to know the many classic film fans and bloggers I've met in the past few years.</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> I received a lot of help from these new friends as I set off on my blogging adventures and want to particularly thank Rick Armstrong, who couldn't be more supportive, helpful - and patient!<br /><br />At first I thought I might celebrate here by sharing links to some of my early TCM and <i>Cafe</i> blogs, but reconsidered. I'd rather nod in the direction of the film that inspired my online moniker, the scintillating work of brilliant and meteoric writer/director Preston Sturges -<i>The Lady Eve </i>(1941)...</span><br /><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> </span><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/1T53iV8HKXQ" width="560"></iframe></div></div><br /><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Thanks to all who visit Reel Life, with deepest gratitude to my loyal followers!</span>

TCM TCM Classic Film Union The Classic Film and TV Cafe The Lady Eve (author) One Year Ago Today...

The Lady Eve's Reel Life is one year old today...and no one is more surprised by this anniversary than the lady herself. When I nervously posted my first piece on TCM's Classic Film Union blog pages about 2-1/2 years ago I didn't imagine I'd soon be …

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Went to bed weighing 179, woke up weighing 181.4, now 182.4!

<i>Forgot to hit publish last night (!). Now up to 182.4 this morning. No late night eating yesterday, and calories at 1300. At this rate...well, you get the picture. Late for the gym, but leaving in five minutes. My post written at 10pm yesterday:</i> <br /><br />Tuesday was a lot of last-minute "got to do this before I go back to work" chores. I was running around all day.<br /><br />I went to my regular hair salon and had my hair color fixed. It's normal now. It cost a fortune but it was worth it. I had to see the most senior color specialist to figure out how to get the ash (greenish-gray) out of my blond highlights. It was painless, love the colorist, been to her before. Painless but pricey. Lesson learned: trying to save money on my hair always winds up costing me a lot of time and more money. I also had two inches cut off by my regular stylist (same salon). Much happier with it now.<br /><br />Then I went shopping for work clothes. D-i-a-s-t-e-r!!! I hate shopping. I've never understood how anyone can think shopping for clothes is fun. Even in the best of times when I'm what I consider a "skinny" weight, I hate it. Since this isn't the best of times for my weight, it was totally not fun. I've never in my entire life stood in a dressing room and liked what I saw staring back at me.Yesterday was worse than usual.<br /><br />After looking at probably hundreds of dress jeans and slacks, and hating all of them, I finally tried on three pair of jeans. I hated them (notice how "hate" is a running theme about me and clothes?). Size 12's and 14's. Too small or too big. Too tight in the hips, too loose in the waist. Too long, even with three-inch heels. Just too wrong in every way.<br /><br />I came home with three new pairs of dress shoes. Doesn't that sound like a fat girl? You can always find cute shoes. At least I bought something.<br /><br />About my weight. Another disaster in that area. I had to run to the store last night at 7pm to buy trouser socks. Since I wore flips for most of the summer (dressy flips, but still, flips?), I decided to start dressing a little better for work. Flips were never really appropriate, but I was on a "I don't care how I look" phase for most of last summer. Flips certainly aren't appropriate in my office in September with the rainy season starting.<br /><br />As I was leaving for the store my husband asked me to pick him up "a piece of cake". WHAT? YOU WANT <u>ME </u>TO PICK <u>YOU</u> UP A PIECE OF CAKE?!!!". Yes, that was me yelling. Why not just go ask a crack addict to pick you up some crack. What the hell?! He said he just wanted something sweet, just a small piece of cake. And some potato chips too please (!!!).<br /><br />He has never asked me to do this in our 23 years of marriage. Probably because I've either been on a diet or should have been on a diet or was thinking about going on a diet for those 23 years. Reluctantly I agreed (yes, I need my head examined). Occasionally I try to be a sweet wife, but this was the wrong time and the wrong thing.<br /><br />The store I was going to was Fred Myer, one of those stores that has a lot of everything, including trouser socks, cake and potato chips. They didn't have any pieces of cake, but they had pieces of cheesecake. He likes cheesecake (and unfortunately so do I). I felt like I had the will of steel. I could buy this junk, and I wouldn't eat it. I hadn't eaten anything unhealthy for weeks. One piece of caramel, pecan cheesecake (my personal favorite...you can see I was subconsciously trying to sabotage myself), and one bag of Kettle chips, vinegar and salt, also my favorite.<br /><br />When I got home with my purchases, around 9pm, my husband  was asleep. I hadn't eaten since 9am, before my hair appointment. I was exhausted and starving.<br /><br />For some really weird reason, I wanted to weigh myself. I hadn't weighed myself for three days. I never weigh at night, because of course we all weigh more at night than first thing in the morning. Still, I got on the scales. Surprise, I was 179. I weighed three times. Could that be right, 179? Yes, it was right, three times and each time 179.0. I broke the 180 barrier.<br /><br />Then I ate a nice, healthy dinner of chicken breast and Brussels sprouts. Then I ate the piece of cheesecake and the bag of potato chips. This morning, 181.4. I gained 2.4 pounds overnight. It's probably partly the salt, but still...why? <br /><br />I could blame this on my husband. I would actually like to blame my husband, but this is nothing to do with him. It's something to do with me. I went about twelve hours without eating. That was stupid. I brought crap food into our house that normally would never be here. That was me, not him. He would never do that, yet he asked to do it and I said okay. Why did he ask? That alone is really odd. And why on earth did I agree. Normally I would say no way. You can buy it and eat it, but I don't want to have it in my sight. I wish I wasn't like this, but it's a fact of life and one he's accepted.<br /><br />I don't have the answers and honestly, and I'm still perplexed by my behavior. Maybe I was tired, hungry and not thinking straight. Maybe I had temporary insanity. I don't really understand what happened, why would a sane, reasonably intelligent person make such a bad decision? <br /><br />I'm back at it today. I guess I'll just put that in my memory bank as a lesson learned.<br /><br />It's almost 10pm. Time for sleep, or at least, my attempt at sleep. I saw a sleep doctor today about my inability to sleep through the night. Which will be in a later post. I have to at least try to sleep now. <br /><br />

Went to bed weighing 179, woke up weighing 181.4, now 182.4!

Forgot to hit publish last night (!). Now up to 182.4 this morning. No late night eating yesterday, and calories at 1300. At this rate...well, you get the picture. Late for the gym, but leaving in five minutes. My post written at 10pm yesterday: Tues…

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Scheduling 5K's for the Fall!

It's been a few months since I completed my <a href="http://the-big-weight.blogspot.com/search/label/5K">last 5K</a>.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTuUFgYDUIQIpjQaCqGrfVF2rpLpAQNL9KOwnEC5t2m9MVtjlJeioVQRlDnW64lcmrmjWoY2OW3AN__UWTcwkOQx5bCB8n7z8K2FpzKcgWa2qdB3yd5p6CdL14HCHpyI9jgPl69EZYwH0/s1600/May+2011+032.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTuUFgYDUIQIpjQaCqGrfVF2rpLpAQNL9KOwnEC5t2m9MVtjlJeioVQRlDnW64lcmrmjWoY2OW3AN__UWTcwkOQx5bCB8n7z8K2FpzKcgWa2qdB3yd5p6CdL14HCHpyI9jgPl69EZYwH0/s400/May+2011+032.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />I've been searching around on Active.com for local events in my area and have found a few worth considering over the next few weeks.  I'd really like to do a few fall themed ones, and so far have found two that are <a href="http://www.goblingallop.org/">Halloween</a> <a href="http://www.active.com/running/muncy-pa/muncy-monster-dash-2011">themed</a>, one that is hosted by the <a href="http://prracing.racebx.com/events/register/4e1f0625-9d54-40b7-94ed-5d4dc0a86522">YMCA to help fight childhood obesity</a>, <a href="http://www.kingstownestriders.org/FilltheShoes5K.html">one that will raise money for the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network</a>, and <a href="http://events.r20.constantcontact.com/register/event?oeidk=a07e4g88edhc9475156&llr=tl9s5vdab">one that I have done in year's past that helps fight homelessness</a>.  <br /><br />Even though I still cannot run an entire 5K, I still enjoy doing them.  At the end of each race I feel a huge sense of accomplishment because I have proven to myself, yet again, that I am capable of doing anything I set my mind to, no matter how much I weigh.  Also, there is the added benefit that I have just been active for 3.1 miles early on a weekend morning.<br /><br />Well, this weekend I am traveling to St Mary's County, MD to participate in an unofficial event created by Joel's brother in order to celebrate his 30th birthday.  He called it the St Mary's Septathalon, where we will be participating in 7 active events on Saturday.  This includes running, swimming, biking, fishing, yoga, drinking (I didn't make the rules), and something else that I cannot remember.   I will be sure to snag some pictures!  It's going to be interesting no doubt...  <br /><br />Are you signed up for any 5K's this fall?<br /><br /><i style="color: #999999;"><a href="http://the-big-weight.blogspot.com/2011/09/starbucks-giftcard-giveaway.html">Tomorrow is the drawing for the $10 Starbucks giftcard</a>! Don't forget to enter for your chance to win :). </i>

5K Exercise Scheduling 5K's for the Fall!

It's been a few months since I completed my last 5K.I've been searching around on Active.com for local events in my area and have found a few worth considering over the next few weeks.  I'd really like to do a few fall themed ones, and so far have fo…

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