News for today's 2018: 01/11/11

Tying The World Together

Today I have been involved in a mission that felt quite ordinary, humble. But an old friend put a grander label on it this week, a label that is actually true. I had called my friend, a priest in New England, to ask him about a priest who might apply for a job in Nevada. I called him because I trust his judgment. His good words about someone I don’t know allowed me to trust the stranger. My friend also talked about the duties of bishops. One of those duties, he said, is “tying the world together.” “Tying the world together.” That in fact was what I was doing when I called him on the phone. That is what I have been doing today in Los Angeles. Bishops from the West including the Pacific met here at the Cathedral Center. We spent half the day and some of the night telling each other about our lives and the lives of our dioceses. It was an exercise in knowing each other. We do this every January. Tomorrow, we will talk about loftier matters of polity, liturgy, and theology. But today was not lofty. It was humble (humble from the same root as humus – earthy). It was the ordinary life of Christians today. Last Saturday, the Deans of the Diocese of Nevada and I met on line and did the same thing. We talked of each other’s lives and the goings on in the parishes so far flung over our high desert. We groaned, laughed, and advised each other. But most importantly, we connected and in connecting, we were tying the world together. And isn’t that what we do when we eat from one loaf, drink from one cup, celebrate the Holy Communion, when we say “The Lord be with you” -- “And also with you.;” when we confess our sins and our faith alike saying not “I” but “we;” when we pray for each other and this earth we share? Are we not trying the world together? I exchanged messages tonight with a priest in Reno, a seminarian in Berkeley, a bishop and a community development worker in the Philippines – tying the world together. It isn’t gravity that keeps this orb from flying apart. It’s the act of knowing each other, caring for each other, wishing each other well.

Tying The World Together

SOS: I just don't care

Yesterday I was talking to a friend at work. She's someone I've known for over twenty years, in different jobs at the same company. I really like this person. She's funny,  kind, and sweet. She also struggles with her weight, just like me. About four years ago we did Weight Watchers together at work. It was my first time with WW and the weight fell off. I lost sixty pounds in seven months. The plan works if you work the plan (I know, a very trite but true saying). My friend also lost a lot of weight. When we both stopped Weight Watchers we both quickly gained the weight back. I went back to Weight Watchers almost three years ago, lost 80 pounds and then gained back 25. I still go to Weight Watchers but I'm sitting  at 180.2 today (I want to be 135). She never went back and has gained a few more pounds. As we were heating up our lunches in the lunchroom yesterday the topic of weight came up. It always does. She said she can be perfect all day every day until she gets home. Then she doesn't care anymore. She's a single mom, with a young teenager, her job is very stressful. Much more stressful than my own. As we talked she told me when she gets home she's totally exhausted, and at that point, she really just doesn't give a damn about her weight. If she wants white toast with butter on it she's going to have it. If she wants a glass of wine or cookies, well, she's going to have that too. She said at that point she just doesn't care. I totally feel the same way lately. When 10 p.m. rolls around, honestly, I just don't care. I'm tired, I've eaten healthy all day. I've even tracked my food all day, but at around 10 p.m., my husband is asleep and I'm struggling with sleep. I'm always feeling hungry. A small snack just doesn't cut it. I want volume. That's when I go off my plan and eat. I eat things like fruit (three bananas or a few pears), another chicken breast, maybe some almonds or pecans (those damn nuts are still on the counter--my husband's food--I have to do something about this). If there are any sugar-free ice cream bars (the only kind I buy now), I'll eat a couple of those (there was a box in the freezer that I found last night). If there's leftover dinner, I'll eat that too. I had some Pop Chips last night that I was going to try later. I ate a few of those, which by the way are totally gross. All these years I've been reading about them on blogs and people raving about how good they taste. Nasty food. They're made out of potato flakes and chemicals. I'll never buy them again and no chance I'd ever binge on them. I ate all of this last night and for kicks I added up the calories afterwards. It was over 700 calories. I may as well have eaten cake and I would have if there was any in the house (there never is stuff like that anymore, but if there was I would have eaten it). My point is that I just can't seem to change this pattern and it's making me crazy. Anyone watching me eat all day and evening, watching me carefully measure and weigh everything, put it all in the online tracker, would wonder what the hell was wrong with me when 10 p.m. rolls around. It's like there are two people living in one body. One that's really concerned about her health and weight and the other one that just doesn't give a damn. I've been doing this pattern since I came back from vacation and I just can't seem to break it. It's depressing and sad and I'm hating myself because of it. If I could padlock the kitchen and have my husband hold the key, I would do it. He has no idea what's going on with me (he sleeps like a rock). He only knows the woman that goes to the gym every day and works out like crazy, and who eats very carefully because she's on a diet. He's puzzled as to why I'm not losing weight. I know why. Any ideas on how to fix me?

SOS: I just don't care

Tying The World Together

SOS: I just don't care

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