Rambling Monday / 185.4

I'm back at work. wonderful, lovely work. I found out one of my best friends on my team accepted a position on another team. It made me want to cry finding out he's leaving. True, he'll only be about ten cubicles away from me on the same floor, still, it won't be the same. Things change, people come and go, it's called life. Sometimes it sucks.<br /><br />Today is day four of the rest of my life. Three days in my pocket where I ate healthy, tracked my food, and worked out each day at the gym for an hour. Three days. Doesn't sound like much does it? Yet it makes me feel strong and capable of staying with this plan. Seeing the 185.4 on the scale this morning made it worth it. "It" being the hunger I felt these last few days. I'm starting to become accustomed to the slight feeling that I want to/need to eat. Often I don't even know if it's real or all in my head. <br /><br />The 190.6 I saw last Friday morning was horrifying. I didn't really express how upset and scared I felt when I saw that number. So very close to 200.  There's always that little "what if" voice talking to me in my head. What if you can't rein this in? What if you gain back every pound and more? What if you kill yourself with food? <br /><br />Did I mention before I left on vacation I purchased three pairs of blue jeans, all size 16, different brands? I didn't even try them on. They're all baggy and too long. I don't care. They feel great. Sort of like pajamas. My nieces told me I should have bought a smaller size, the 14's probably would have fit. Who goes from a size 12 right into a size 16? I was tired of the 12's cutting me at the waist and my muffin top overflowing. No muffin top now. Loose pants are good.<br /><br />I skipped the gym this morning. Too tired. Now I have to pay my penance and go tonight. I detest evening workouts but it's not optional. It's part of the plan to lose the fat.<br /><br />This post is all over the place. I really have nothing newsworthy to talk about. It's part of my new commitment to the blog every day. It helps me stay focused. Whether it helps anyone else, well, probably not today.

Rambling Monday / 185.4

I'm back at work. wonderful, lovely work. I found out one of my best friends on my team accepted a position on another team. It made me want to cry finding out he's leaving. True, he'll only be about ten cubicles away from me on the same floor, still…

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HilJoe Competition - Week 2

<div style="text-align: left;">I guess it was only a matter of time that I'd have to face a beating from Joel.  Hopefully this will only be one of a few I'll have to endure.  <b> </b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.beautyandwell-being.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/weight-scale-400x400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://www.beautyandwell-being.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/weight-scale-400x400.jpg" width="200" /></a><b> </b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Joel</b> <b>(6')</b>: 239.6</div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Hilary (5'8")</b>: 258</div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;">Honestly, I'm frustrated with myself for yet again another gain.  When am I going to get it together? I get one thing under control (exercise), only to have the other one suffer (eating).  I'm not one of those people who can simply 'eat right' <i>alone </i>and lose weight - I need both elements.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I'm not giving up.  </div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;">And so we move on to Week 3.</div>

Gain HJ Competition HilJoe Competition - Week 2

I guess it was only a matter of time that I'd have to face a beating from Joel.  Hopefully this will only be one of a few I'll have to endure.   Joel (6'): 239.6Hilary (5'8"): 258 Honestly, I'm frustrated with myself for yet again another gain.  Whe…

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