News for today's 2018: 02/12/10

Silence is not always golden

I haven't posted since Monday. That's very unusual for me. I've been posting almost daily for two years. It wasn't because I didn't have anything to say this past week. I had a lot to say, but all of it was negative, sad, and depressing. I felt like I'd fallen into a pit of despair and self-pity. For some reason I just couldn't bring myself to share it with the world. I've never really suffered from depression for more than a day or two, then I'd always bounce back and all would be well with my world. This time it feels different. I can't even watch the news without crying. Tonight at the gym I was on the treadmill trying to run, seeing if my knee would hold up (it did). CNN was on the TV in front of me, a special report on Haiti. Just what I didn't need to see. I was literally in tears and had to get off the treadmill and head to a different area of the gym (sans TV). I'm short-tempered at work lately, which is totally unlike me. The co-worker I work with the closest pointed out to me that I was rude to him in a meeting last week. I didn't even realize it, but I remember he irritated me, and I said something I probably shouldn't have said. It's been a string of things in the past few weeks that seem to be weighing heavy on me. Nothing specific that I can blame for this darkness in my soul. It's like a shroud of despair is hanging over me. I feel a deep sadness that I've never experienced. I'm not suicidal but I do wonder about the purpose of life, specifically, the purpose of my life. Do I really matter to anyone? I'm married but I really believe my husband would be happier with someone else. Someone who shares his same interests, his same beliefs. Somewhere along the way in the past 21 years we have grown apart. Sometimes I fear it's too far apart and we may never be able to fix our marriage. I'm still hanging steady with my weight at 176. That's depressing me. I feel fat. My size 12 jeans are very snug. My size 10 skirt barely zips, and I can't even wear it in public. My size 10 blazers feel tight across the shoulders. Yet I seem paralyzed to do anything about it. I want to lose weight but I'm barely able to not gain any additional weight. I guess you can see why I haven't posted all week. Who wants to read this kind of crap? It's not uplifting, it doesn't inspire or encourage. If anything I'm probably pulling you down with me. Maybe I'll figure this out. Maybe it's just a phase and it'll pass. Maybe I should shut up about it now. Maybe silence IS golden.

Silence is not always golden

I haven't posted since Monday. That's very unusual for me. I've been posting almost daily for two years. It wasn't because I...

Thinking Positive!

Thursday morning I knew I wasn’t going to make it to the gym since I stayed up a tad too late on Wednesday. So I slept in a bit and then got ready for work. For some reason I thought I wanted something different for breakfast. I decided to make a fruit & granola salad. I chopped up a pear, an apple, and a banana and threw about a 1/4c of my <a href="http://weightloss-stories.blogspot.com/2010/02/few-updates.html">homemade granola</a> on top. Oh my, I couldn’t even eat it all!! Next time I will only choose 2 fruits!! My eyes were definitely bigger than my tummy! I am estimating I ate about 3 points worth. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9cyJmFYMGBgR81Kry_NY3pg-P8qkcDkODdOENWHc4fMl72vFWqXTRxvstzEKfHmbCfxh68jTTdvMhRA_O4411uEwuFahyphenhyphenahZNRe1OErH6RhAT5nzmM2LlNk98MMtfd1FTqEPBzm8yqEdE/s1600-h/DSC06009%5B1%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC06009" border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieD17LYBekqylqouK6NydijrEWPglUuGbi3fIin7_e3tQ9gQrANqmXs4U_Y2xnM09osc-jBDo9KXHa_etQgJbIXdhpOmk9xUiQ-h6IpuAuPXeANffriYOQxBu14j39QnRHGQlXfmLrc5h3/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC06009" width="404" /></a>  My morning snack, yet again, included more <a href="http://weightloss-stories.blogspot.com/2010/02/few-updates.html">granola</a>! I can’t get enough of this stuff!! I mixed up 1/4c with some ww vanilla yogurt for a delish 2 point snack! <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfqyhuJxoTJOEkOOtX905caEviNAA4zctVU0Bxm-byjDs7pnEcg0q8jbH1zaS1hCihqYdlFEWQw91EowaaE0jxcc7t2P1rPxpFm9_PFf26xWlZ6HRzNbqYDkxDvjjGwffmKm-HXEnklQDB/s1600-h/DSC06010%5B1%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC06010" border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3tkjxblEoXA65sg__iWWu9xc-dyqgt1UOwqVM3MJuD0_FPhQ5pZVzU2pclbggLdf5UepomJlE5aOB9x44FsTrL83oMtFSktxCsoDSg2OXqCzgeT4vTMSAifH2wiXg5OYmDyh8BxKA_uSr/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC06010" width="404" /></a>  Before lunch I snacked on some crunchy baby carrots. I also had a little bit of ranch on the side for dipping. A yummy 1 point appetizer to my lunch! <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh6MJhFPqEJgHFM0jO0onu5hzVKpxFnG_bH-uHyNTWB8hPCciS4cdgdyDZyqrwXx__YWD3CrGEd53o515Kuue0bfl7YtLezxRc0x0iL0wuzh0LigfvC1YK2DoRazva3ab_sRX203ty0h6m/s1600-h/DSC06011%5B1%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC06011" border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRSdiln8NHOlJ6JQQbT4B0NiO4EEdDEMLK3UO7WXAnYCgeRCQB2LeG4_Q6bMtwTJMps5YNXkodNZxuXmBgNrd6TZIn-YJgRFUon-LHRr5rLVRWdbZqw_yio9rXCmGDwkv6vJ4dp8XplpJB/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC06011" width="404" /></a> Subway is practically a neighbor to my office so I got that for a quick lunch. I got a 6 inch turkey & ham on wheat for 5 points. But after I ordered I realized I should have got a foot long 'cause they are $5 all month long!!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir6KPDJLdlaFpt3Xc8vnDb93aYk_O9F7205On3AoNCYKSGV1oQW8CrYQF65OI2Sa4tQU9xXaxHxF3HGYUIiI4LzYK_V5FCETI_jyIodusld2GvxXHfWtcyOThS_8Pts3p538WA9xemhFi-/s1600-h/DSC06012%5B1%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC06012" border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga5Tu9RfFzeBFOwctClIdeEOFD5Ab1VQWXdYPJIHB2NV8mhsCzIkyIlTgzYqchPsJbv9UfrX7tBQWp0jatLIALK6hmo-GU6F3K4NoudJzV15ZegJngVMaDkjcUVf9Z55XZ5hh13HS-R-V0/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC06012" width="404" /></a> For supper I made another new try, Cheesy Chicken and Macaroni. If this isn’t comfort food, I don’t know what is!! Super yummy & would never guess that it’s healthy! On the side I also had 1c of grapes and a serving of green beans for a 7 point supper. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiigXnQFuvork9oYLYu9ojiDmXc9SqBQes2sXSMG4l19l4CH6hsNNvkLFDo9gdarrz0uK_ugT3PNkRAKJyF9d0gEmWdFc4MneLtW3LHcd1KQ3f6WEO9k_4bqpqX7r6w0wkhqcaH2biKsxvS/s1600-h/DSC06013%5B1%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC06013" border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhobw4Yjb8_DoXnwsvlQfEqBRu4I7RwpupAFcoN1psRKwYaF5_2TfyZaM8-Z-w9X3YcMt_1XElZ3hcjZY_CZyc8qhc3iRrykMqtGo7PaDr-Uuv6Bm1wXqLBkAMoL-DnicUwycuDimJPPBnj/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC06013" width="404" /></a> Cheesy Chicken & Macaroni <ul> <li>1 1/2 c macroni (dry) – cooked </li> <li>4 oz cooked chicken breast, diced </li> <li>6 oz lite Velvetta, cubed </li> <li>1 can cream of chicken soup </li> <li>1 c lite sour cream </li> <li>1 tsp chicken bouillon granules </li> <li>1/8 tsp pepper </li> <li>Garlic & salt to taste </li> </ul> Preheat oven to 350. Spray baking dish. Combine all ingredients and cook over medium heat. Spoon into baked dish and baked for 30 minutes. Serves 6, 4 points each OR 4 servings, 6 points each. After supper I whipped up a batch of brownies. Once they cooled I cut them out with heart cookie cutters, frosted them, and topped with sprinkles. I wanted to give a little Valentine to the staff in my office!<img alt="DSC06014" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5HUAFLwrwR5_c6Q4AfAAm_BFnbaa_zfaqZxo-RtJt-maL5AxIcorck7_f6_VUQ_d_3RM6Pd6eHv8QXcLjTeDcgshbWQdc_yYO47xo_Y4lzUJUtoNTn6IngL2MuypS9kQvHQSNvqpGMbcP/?imgmax=800" style="border-top-width: 0px; display: block; border-left-width: 0px; float: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; border-right-width: 0px" title="DSC06014" width="404" /><img alt="DSC06015" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNzDVJTSrEzvoE5_vqdLRgrpre2AilnQ6t6niJ8Hmii9BI-nFMx7tctlBUkSAKI4BapDhgeL4zU8NI4USPvvx7vg3uci7Js3kYUKygVfqRfJHN8jREgguwQ0wIoklQBLD6HNVTwszGKn2K/?imgmax=800" style="border-top-width: 0px; display: block; border-left-width: 0px; float: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; border-right-width: 0px" title="DSC06015" width="404" /> As you can tell it’s now Friday. I had a great list planned for my day. <ul> <li>5am wake up </li> <li>blog </li> <li>gym </li> <li>get ready & eat breakfast </li> <li>8am work </li> <li>4pm get off work and welcome friends who are staying at our house for the weekend. </li> </ul> Well it didn’t quite go like that. :( Here is a better summary of my day. <ul> <li>5am wake up </li> <li>lay on couch ‘cause I just wasn’t feeling right </li> <li>run to the bathroom </li> <li>back to bed to sleep </li> <li>bathroom </li> <li>sleep </li> <li>bathroom </li> <li>sleep </li> <li>etc. </li> </ul> You get the picture? Ugh!! I think I’m feeling a tad better, but I think I need to give it more time. I’m so bummed, I made Valentines for my staff, my friends are here for the weekend… Well complaining won’t help, I’m trying my hardest to just rest, think positive, and get better ASAP! Later friends!

Thinking Positive!

Thursday morning I knew I wasn’t going to make it to the gym since I stayed up a tad too late on Wednesday. So I slept in a bit and then got...

Silence is not always golden

Thinking Positive!

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