Another swimsuit shopping trip

Twice in one weekend I went shopping for a swimsuit. I'm truly a glutton for punishment.This time I tried on every suit that I thought might fit me, but I had a different focus today. This is not a suit that I'll wear at the beach and try to pretend I look sexy. This suit is to wear for swimming as exercise at the gym. <br /><br />I only had a few requirements:<br /><br />1.) cover my butt (no easy feat)<br />2.) cover my boobs (also difficult)<br />3.) straps that would stay in place while I was swimming<br /><br />Speaking of boobs, I don't know what the heck happened to mine recently (and if you're a guy, sorry, probably too much information for you). When I was this weight last time (about five years ago), I wore a 38C bra. I've been wearing a 38C for the last year, but my bras didn't fit right. I was constantly fussing with them (and these were expensive bras). I finally decided it was time to get fitted for a bra, something I hadn't done in years.<br /><br />A sweet, young 20-something at Victoria's Secret measured me and told me I was a 36DD. I told her no way, she was wrong. She insisted. She brought me a box of bras in size 36DD. I looked at them and thought she had to be kidding. No way would those fit me. They looked HUGE. They fit me perfectly. <br /><br />I don't know what happened, and I'm not exactly happy about it. I've actually always wanted to be smaller on top (and bottom), always wishing I had a more athletic build. My dream would be to have the kind of body where I didn't even have to wear a bra. I've never wanted cups that runneth over. Maybe it's the chest presses or something that caused this, but I'm just hoping when I lose the rest of my weight they'll shrink.<br /><br />Back to the swimsuit, I found one. It has one of those built in girdle things, but they all did (I guess that's a good thing). It covers everything that needs covering. I opted not to go for a skirted suit and just let my thighs be out in the open for all to see. They aren't slim and trim, they're lumpy and bumpy, but they're strong and powerful legs and that's really what's important. <br /><br />I'm really looking forward to getting into the pool a couple times a week. This is going to be fun!

Another swimsuit shopping trip

Twice in one weekend I went shopping for a swimsuit. I'm truly a glutton for punishment.This time I tried on every suit that I thought might fit me, but I had a different focus today. This is not a suit that I'll wear at the beach and try to pretend …

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It happened last night

After writing my post last night about how I was going to get all serious about getting to goal, I went nuts. That's the only way I can explain it. <br /><br />I haven't had a binge in weeks, since I quit eating sugar about six weeks ago. It felt like a miracle, and then last night happened.<br /><br />Yesterday my husband and I had an argument. It's an old battle and there are never any winners in this one. We both walk away wounded and hurt and nothing is ever resolved. It has to do with his crazy family.<br /><br />Later we both said we were sorry, but as usual, the hurt words still hung between us. After these arguments it takes a while to heal and get back to normal. He went to bed early, I stayed up and watched a really bad movie, Couples Retreat. Stupid movie, don't waste your time on it. Especially don't watch it after fighting with your spouse.<br /><br />That's when I lost control. I had frozen my Muscatel grapes earlier and had a cookie sheet full of them in the freezer, frozen to perfection. These grapes are incredible, sweet and crunchy when frozen, and are a wonderful treat (beats those horrible Weight Watcher ice cream bars...one of my former binge foods). These grapes are expensive, $3.99 a pound, but totally worth it. I buy three pounds every week, freeze them, put them in baggies, one Point per cup. <br /><br />Last night I ate seven cups of frozen grapes, eight Points. It made for a 30-Point day (I get 20 daily Points, but always use my 35 and I had 7 Activity Points for the day). I realize this isn't horrible, and I've done a lot worse in the past. Many times I'd eat an entire box of Weight Watcher ice cream bars in a couple hours (18.5 Points), along with a lot of other things. I would also stop counting the Points in the past because I just figured the day was ruined and I didn't want to know how bad I had messed up. Last night I tracked everything I ate,.<br /><br />My issue is that I felt totally out of control. I was watching the movie and eating the grapes. I went through cup after cup of grapes and barely tasted them. My tongue was practically frozen by the time I was done. I even contemplated opening up a bottle of wine, something I haven't done in several months. I felt like numbing the pain, but decided it wouldn't be worth it.<br /><br />In my Weight Watchers' meeting yesterday our leader said there's a reason we're carrying around this extra weight. We wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't filling a need. We have to figure out why we're doing it and then get past it. <br /><br />I have an idea of why I want to keep this last thirty pounds on my body. It is serving a purpose. It's totally stupid and I know it's stupid, yet I keep doing it. It's a really personal reason, and one I'm not quite ready to share on this blog (because it's embarrassing!). Maybe later this week I'll post about it, if I get the courage (you'll probably think I'm an idiot, but I suppose that's nothing new).<br /><br />Have a great Sunday, and I will be back tomorrow! (item #5 for getting to goal, post here every day)

It happened last night

After writing my post last night about how I was going to get all serious about getting to goal, I went nuts. That's the only way I can explain it. I haven't had a binge in weeks, since I quit eating sugar about six weeks ago. It felt like a miracle,…

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Planning de la semaine du 03 au 07 mai 2010

<BR><br /><h2><strong><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 113%;color:#005c9b;" >Permanences<br /></span></strong></h2><ul><br /><li>Le <strong>Conseil Général du Loiret</strong> sera présent dans les locaux de la Maison de l'Emploi du bassin d'Orléans<br />- le lundi 03 mai de 9h à 12h30,<br />- le mardi 04 mai de 9h à 12h30 et de 13h30 à 17h,<br />- le mercredi 05 mai de 13h30 à 17h<br />- le jeudi 06 mai de 13h30 à 17h<br />- le vendredi 07 mai de 13h30 à 17h<br /><br /><li><strong><a href="http://news-these-days.blogspot.com/2007/11/solidarits-nouvelles-face-au-chmage.html">Solidarités Nouvelles face au Chômage</a></strong> - mercredi 05 mai de 10h à 12h30<br /><br /><li><strong><a href="http://news-these-days.blogspot.com/2007/11/boutique-de-gestion.html">Boutique de Gestion</a></strong> (sur rendez-vous)<br />- lundi 03 mai de 13h30 à 17h<br />- vendredi 07 mai de 09h à 12h30</ul><br /><h2><strong><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 113%;color:#005c9b;" >Ateliers</span></strong><br /></h2><br /><ul><li><strong>CV</strong> - mardi 04 mai de 9h à 12h30 et mercredi 05 mai de 13h30 à 17h<br /><br /><li><strong>Lettre de Motivation</strong> - mardi 04 mai de 13h30 à 17h<br /><br /><li><strong><a href="http://www.mlo.fr/" target="_blank">MLO</a></strong> <span style="font-style:italic;">autour du film " La Connaissance du monde de l'Entreprise "</span> - jeudi 06 mai à 14h30<br /><br /><li><strong>Pôle-emploi.fr</strong> - vendredi 07 mai de 10h à 11h30<br /><br /><li><strong><a href="http://news-these-days.blogspot.com/2009/07/atelier-situtilises-tu-trouves.html">Sit'Utilises tu trouves</a></strong> - vendredi 07 mai de 14h à 16h</ul><br /><h2><strong><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 113%;color:#005c9b;" >Information collective</span></strong><br /></h2><br /><ul><li><strong><a href="http://www.mlo.fr/" target="_blank">MLO</a></strong> - mercredi 05 mai à 09h30</ul>

Planning de la semaine du 03 au 07 mai 2010

PermanencesLe Conseil Général du Loiret sera présent dans les locaux de la Maison de l'Emploi du bassin d'Orléans- le lundi 03 mai de 9h à 12h30,- le mardi 04 mai de 9h à 12h30 et de 13h30 à 17h,- le mercredi 05 mai de 13h30 à 17h- le jeudi 06 mai de…

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