News for today's 2018: 10/01/10

The longer I do this the harder it is to do

I know it just doesn't make any sense, does it? Given all my knowledge about weight loss and Weight Watchers and South Beach and Jenny Craig and NutriSystems and every other diet I've ever tried, this should be a walk in the park by now. So tell me, why does it seem harder now than ever before in my life? I simply don't get it. In the last three years I went from 240 pounds down to 152 pounds, then up to 174, then down to 156 then again up to 174. It's like I'm stuck in a rut and I can pull my self out of it.  Honestly, I'm just sick and tired of myself and my weight. Every day all throughout my day I think about my weight. They say guys think about sex every 30 seconds, I think about food at least that often or more. It's like I've broken whatever it was in me that was doing so well. It's like I almost don't even care anymore. My size 12's are snug. Not unbearably tight, yet. They could be with another 10 pounds. They're not loose and falling off of me like they were at 152 or even at 166. I can't say I'm totally miserable. I still exercise on a consistent basis, cardio and weight lifting, but I eat too much. Therefore, I'm not happy with my body. I feel fat. I am fat. I don't expect anyone to have the answer for me. I know I have to find it inside myself. Somehow. I just haven't figured it out yet. After a lifetime of doing this I still don't have the answers. It seems like the longer this goes on, the harder it is for me to keep doing it. I'm not giving up and throwing in the towel. I'm just saying I feel kind of defeated at the moment. Like there's something terribly wrong with me that I can't beat this thing.

The longer I do this the harder it is to do

October already??

Happy October friends!! Hard to believe it's already here! Time sure does fly! We've been having internet problems, that is why I'm behind on my daily posts! So check out what I did on Thursday! I had my usual oatmeal, peanut butter, and banana combo for 5 points. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilbY85z5BmPXmme6_vln145jFGXxyDsTHWylL3MaUtySG-yXCMX7BJDusFCEn3tQ9ZUxAAi-oEVHYR6VSV6Y_rbKKU7UCl-ZnyDm75qjLb5ehdPlacbQJgwpGqjj2tEzOvfR3NJlMH8bs4/s1600/DSC08823.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5523165421608367186" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilbY85z5BmPXmme6_vln145jFGXxyDsTHWylL3MaUtySG-yXCMX7BJDusFCEn3tQ9ZUxAAi-oEVHYR6VSV6Y_rbKKU7UCl-ZnyDm75qjLb5ehdPlacbQJgwpGqjj2tEzOvfR3NJlMH8bs4/s400/DSC08823.JPG" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" /></a> My morning snack was yogurt with 1/4c grape nuts for 2 points. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEZmy9qicInhoUAlj_QDV7tnZAcTBMBEMfF7n1SryUQRmI6pRgCgwEpt1XvKRY62uhAPpvhjl1Nmzqu2MExAp1zy62wDC3Xpb40VZXK3d_35yOekDEfEllrJ7xQaPr_WUEHCGvxz72c71F/s1600/DSC08824.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5523165417341992418" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEZmy9qicInhoUAlj_QDV7tnZAcTBMBEMfF7n1SryUQRmI6pRgCgwEpt1XvKRY62uhAPpvhjl1Nmzqu2MExAp1zy62wDC3Xpb40VZXK3d_35yOekDEfEllrJ7xQaPr_WUEHCGvxz72c71F/s400/DSC08824.JPG" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" /></a> My lunch break was a major downer! 1) got a speeding ticket in the mail, 2) found out picasa was deleted on our computer (lots of projects saved there), 3) found out our plane tickets for our November cruise are going to be $900!!! *sigh* MUST STAY POSITIVE!!! Back to eats! I had a Smart Ones for 4 points for lunch. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjb3e-pHqit3oX3QckwcQnxphUN8gYG7cp_5mDafiENpCliFlBNTSQ_QeY6r1VQIzjpRkk5fNLgb3uWicFOBywl7Bx1HCKik6Qwaa64xHSWjefvPke5YNa_5mcAQb5bbqDpMLXYUmD0dPY/s1600/DSC08825.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5523165414990301122" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjb3e-pHqit3oX3QckwcQnxphUN8gYG7cp_5mDafiENpCliFlBNTSQ_QeY6r1VQIzjpRkk5fNLgb3uWicFOBywl7Bx1HCKik6Qwaa64xHSWjefvPke5YNa_5mcAQb5bbqDpMLXYUmD0dPY/s400/DSC08825.JPG" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" /></a> I knew just what would help improve my evening after that horrible lunch break...time with Hayden!! On the drive down I had a granola bar for 2 points. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV9_iRKxCWjaiyjpB_1weuCfixN6LV-gK-RztxfFeIUkEMR_wrpjRw65opxHTpbuZMCXovzeubjlsRgA2x2kJrYMgOELYkFmE8BeAcWDH2uPtOQIh-ufJ5HfoNsUcfUyv4az0eAPTwEkK7/s1600/DSC08826.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5523165412430937042" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV9_iRKxCWjaiyjpB_1weuCfixN6LV-gK-RztxfFeIUkEMR_wrpjRw65opxHTpbuZMCXovzeubjlsRgA2x2kJrYMgOELYkFmE8BeAcWDH2uPtOQIh-ufJ5HfoNsUcfUyv4az0eAPTwEkK7/s400/DSC08826.JPG" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" /></a> Supper was simple, but really good! I had 1/2 ham & turkey sandwich with colby jack cheese on whole wheat bread for 4 points. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijurslywrdImNgAF_NifnA6CbJG-iB7sh16jgN7VMImpejLPdbQOI7tBrqQ8eNwFGtJeHh_S7URS9eak4Tzo6lQgU6vZJF4Zg2EXfw57FmR8qheSEzPElZtXi1UnqRS-cyMOh4nsrdB7et/s1600/DSC08828.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5523165041816788722" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijurslywrdImNgAF_NifnA6CbJG-iB7sh16jgN7VMImpejLPdbQOI7tBrqQ8eNwFGtJeHh_S7URS9eak4Tzo6lQgU6vZJF4Zg2EXfw57FmR8qheSEzPElZtXi1UnqRS-cyMOh4nsrdB7et/s400/DSC08828.JPG" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" /></a> I also had a serving of grilled potatoes for 3 points. SSSOOO good! Thanks for supper Mom! :) <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOqs_lA5cJafygua6DX-5yyyDWXriZVxCBe4RR2rL1tBS0rmjClh6QrESId3GasXYOYN4RoLQOSmAPhPApsHJFnIBsHV6iU-qQ3X94-0BJT9nlAUTh9D6JHZ6AQJwHX0pY4J0wowDIQixB/s1600/DSC08829.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5523165037192515698" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOqs_lA5cJafygua6DX-5yyyDWXriZVxCBe4RR2rL1tBS0rmjClh6QrESId3GasXYOYN4RoLQOSmAPhPApsHJFnIBsHV6iU-qQ3X94-0BJT9nlAUTh9D6JHZ6AQJwHX0pY4J0wowDIQixB/s400/DSC08829.JPG" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" /></a> Hayden had milk for supper! ;) Don't you just love how his little feet are crossed like he is just so relaxed?!?! <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4wTBYgyOgcRm7DrtnNgXIwkt1Y2a3DKh3Jq2EYkNxCjPJxkhslWDz7hN8SM-1QuYEN6mR9M5KpLvKY6a-pb-J10r7kr9i33aKaXiZIeb720is47FrirD63RlSfg3gilssEPiSQI2EHabb/s1600/DSC08837.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5523165030523689282" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4wTBYgyOgcRm7DrtnNgXIwkt1Y2a3DKh3Jq2EYkNxCjPJxkhslWDz7hN8SM-1QuYEN6mR9M5KpLvKY6a-pb-J10r7kr9i33aKaXiZIeb720is47FrirD63RlSfg3gilssEPiSQI2EHabb/s400/DSC08837.JPG" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" /></a> After we all had supper, Wendi, Hayden, & I went out for a walk right around dusk! <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6D7TqhHoUEBdufVhfQGI8K9GBLpG4hkzVwgs_-ZSFPSJB445OI3GUouCm5VYHd0AOe13GnTI0bMT_nSPVSBnizqey4tmo3Oq-iWVa7mGW6sckzjUkbnW8FSjfu99TLDU1oZv2WBjre08L/s1600/DSC08830.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5523165025845015490" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6D7TqhHoUEBdufVhfQGI8K9GBLpG4hkzVwgs_-ZSFPSJB445OI3GUouCm5VYHd0AOe13GnTI0bMT_nSPVSBnizqey4tmo3Oq-iWVa7mGW6sckzjUkbnW8FSjfu99TLDU1oZv2WBjre08L/s400/DSC08830.JPG" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" /></a> I have to give a shout out to my sis! She gained about 37lbs with her pregnancy (which I would never have believed seeing her 9+mo prego!) and she only has 6.5 lbs to lose to be back to pre-pregnany weight! And Hayden isn't even 3 weeks old yet! Lookin' good "Mama Wendi"!! :) Spent the rest of the evening cuddling with this cutie! Don't ya just love his bib?!?! ;) <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpu5gOTuaUQwhYhGPaetrXGYal7Kqs0g2XRDlfz4_9zmDAYkSIF8eflQOcwaInfySmr8soPl2ZQUHeHb7nL2KrgRcnZes-OzyZzegiQY-zVz59Pef1TjvOt-XZVddVRRDQZ051nGcqgvWu/s1600/DSC08833.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5523165021591195266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpu5gOTuaUQwhYhGPaetrXGYal7Kqs0g2XRDlfz4_9zmDAYkSIF8eflQOcwaInfySmr8soPl2ZQUHeHb7nL2KrgRcnZes-OzyZzegiQY-zVz59Pef1TjvOt-XZVddVRRDQZ051nGcqgvWu/s400/DSC08833.JPG" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" /></a> THURSDAY’S STATS POINTS = 20/23 WEEKLY ALLOWANCE POINTS = 0 used/35 remaining ACTIVITY POINTS EARNED = 0 today/2 week H2O = 120 oz EXERCISE = 15 min walk

October already??

Happy October friends!! Hard to believe it's already here! Time sure does fly!We've been having internet problems, that is why I'm behind on my daily posts! So check out what I did on Thursday!I had my usual oatmeal, peanut butter, and banana combo f…

The longer I do this the harder it is to do

October already??

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