The Right Tough: and ponderings on "F's" in school

<p>Falling is scary. Most of us fall down sometimes. I can trip and fall flat on the ground. </p> <p>When I fall down I have two choices. I can sit there or I can stand up (if I'm still physically able to.)</p> <p>What about failing? Children fall a lot - especially when they are learning to walk. But falling, as we get older, is something we really try to avoid at all costs. As bones get more brittle, we are afraid of not getting back up or of getting really hurt.</p> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-RpBJgh9boq8/S0KkzXdSs9I/AAAAAAAAB2U/GeDa4kkcMFg/s500/epic-fail-can-fail.jpg" target="_blank" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" class="aligncenter" height="346" id="blogsy-1377688490462.9314" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-RpBJgh9boq8/S0KkzXdSs9I/AAAAAAAAB2U/GeDa4kkcMFg/s500/epic-fail-can-fail.jpg" width="500"></a></div> <p>Let's get one thing straight. Failing and falling aren't the same thing. It is odd to me that kids (and adults) don't mind a "fail" in a video game. In fact epic "fails" go viral on the Internet as people mess up and do dumb things that are laughed about later.</p> <h3>An F makes me as a teacher feel I have failed to teach</h3> <p>I don't receive any benefit at all from giving an "F" for failure. To me, an F represents something I haven't taught. Now I know many teachers have their rooms full of kids and it is very hard to get to them all. But an "F" of any kind puts a bulls eye on a student for me to give them extra attention so they can understand. Maybe I shouldn't feel this way, but I do. It is part of my teacher DNA that I want every student to learn. Every single one of them!</p> <h3>Are you tough or are you just not teaching?</h3> <p>I heard someone talking once about how "tough" they are as a teacher: "you make what you make, I don't drop grades, I don't go over homework - learn it or fail." </p> <p>Such an attitude puts all of the responsibility for learning on the student. While I do expect my own children to "own" their learning - I also know what it is like to parent kids with LD. Most teachers who say such things are what I call "<strong>worksheet wonders</strong>." You wonder how they could teach at all without worksheets.</p> <p>Ten neatly completed worksheets in a class period doesn't mean you've taught anything. For some kids, interacting with words on a page is as meaningful as listening to Charlie Brown's teacher. I used to have a couple of worksheets a day in my class... a long time a go when I first started teaching. Because I thought that worksheets meant I did something. I thought that was how classes and teachers were measured. Now, I care more about what gets into the minds of my students and what can be applied by them. </p> <h3>The difference between being a tough teacher and tough to pass</h3> <p>That said, I know some extremely tough teachers but if they give homework or they give work - they give feedback and do go over what kids miss. They are tough but they still teach. These teachers are as good as gold. </p> <p>But there are some teachers who brag about being "tough" who I think are being rigid and aren't teaching at all. There is a difference between <strong>being a tough teacher</strong> who expects a lot out of kids and pushes them to be more -- and <strong>being tough to pass</strong> because the teacher is so unhelpful and provides little feedback. </p> <h3>The Right kind of tough</h3> <p>I would consider myself "tough" as a teacher in that <strong>I don't allow any student to disengage and do nothing. </strong>They must be working on the task at hand - they don't have a choice to doze off or disengage. </p> <p>I consider myself tough because <strong>the work is due when it is due</strong>. Period. No monumental extensions - get it done or be late. When it is late, I do take the work but not for full credit. </p> <p>I consider myself tough because I expect to <strong>teach my students tough things</strong> that "high school kids aren't supposed to be able to learn." Sometimes people look at my curriculum and comment that it is more like a college course. Yes. It better be. I want them to be world class.</p> <p>But I also consider myself tough in that I'm going to be after anyone who tries not to learn. I'm going to pursue relentlessly those who think they can't do it. I'm never going to quit trying to teach the kid who things they are unteachable.<strong> I'm tough because I never quit.</strong></p> <h3>Don't settle for I don't understand</h3> <p>Yesterday I had some kids that just weren't getting a concept I was teaching in computer science. As the other kids moved on to continue their computer "dissection" project, these kids stayed behind with me until we understood and grasped the concept of the CPU, heat sync, and the quality of components. </p> <p>They had said, "I just don't understand stuff like this" and "This is another language to me." It wasn't when we were done - they did get it. The walls were knocked down and we moved on. </p> <p><strong>Good teachers are a wrecking ball against any obstacle that keeps kids from learning.</strong></p> <p>I don't care that this stuff is "geeky" and some consider it irrelevant - some of you are teaching squinting modifiers and drawing molecules - those things are geeky to. ;-) No matter what I'm teaching, I want every child to learn it. Every child must. As a teacher we must be bold advocates for our subject, whatever it is.</p> <p>An "F" means I've failed at teaching. I wish I didn't feel this way, but I do.</p> <h3>What happens when the student really tries to earn an F</h3> <p>But then again, I'm the scorekeeper. I don't "give" grades - they are earned. </p> <p><strong>When kids pursue of failure</strong>. And sometimes some students really try to get that F. They try so hard. Often it is a poor self image - "I'm a failure so I deserve an F" is a part of what many of them think. If I can talk to kids and get at the root of why they are pursuing an F because in my class, very often, I've seen self sabotage. If it is a psychological reason they run towards failure, I can often get at that and they can do what it takes to pass.</p> <p><strong>When kids have a magic number in mind</strong>. Most kids know in their minds what grade they think they "want" and will often apply they brakes if their grades are increasing too quickly. (Why do they do that? It makes me so mad!) I've often found that this number is near what their parents expect their kids to make. This is also something to tackle head on with kids individually when it happens.</p> <p>So many F's or kids not performing up to ability can be handled privately when you get at the driving reason that it is happening.</p> <p><strong>When kids need to be held accountable</strong>. This is my 12th year of teaching. I've only a handful kids EARN F's. Notice I didn't say "given." I said earn. </p> <p>After I lie on the battlefield spent and a student refuses to turn in the work they've promised and refuses to let me help - I will give them the grade they've earned. In every case, each of these claimed and swore to my face that they thought I'd "give" a passing grade to them.</p> <p><strong>I don't "give" grades. Period. </strong>I told them that the world doesn't "give" you anything and I won't either. You might as well learn that now. You get what you earn in the real world and giving someone a grade they don't deserve is a disservice to the world. There is a time to let a student earn an F but we don't "give" grades in school to anyone - not if we're a teacher worth anything.</p> <p>I'm lucky because my administration has always supported me and always been very involved when this happens. I know teachers who have had principals take the grade book and change those grades. </p> <p>But my administration was in the loop and knew what was happening. The parents all knew and the student knew - holding breath and holding out that I'd "cave" and "give" the C -- nope, doesn't happen. Not here.</p> <h3>What I tell all students about grades</h3> <p>I tell my students that "you are not your grades. You may make an F in a class but you are an "A" as a person. I believe that you are all made to be "A's" and --in my own belief system I believe that 'you are God's workmanship' -- but it is your choice if you're going to work on your own ship. Are you going to be the "A" you're designed to be. And being an A as a person often has little to do with the grades on your report card."</p> <h3>Understand your belief about "F" so you're ready to face the beast</h3> <p>I think we all as teachers must sort through our opinions about failure. I do find that there are taboo's and things that teacher's won't discuss at the lunch table. One of those sensitive areas has to do with "being tough" and "dropping grades" and how we grade because each of us have deep seated opinions on this one about what is the right way to grade. It is not bad for kids to see it done many different ways because they'll have many different bosses and life isn't always consistent and fair.</p> <p>But what needs to be understood by every teacher is our own perspective on "the F." Wrestle with it now and know what you think.</p> <p> It is vitally important that we are ready to cope with it. I've never put an F on a report card that didn't cause me to be very upset. It isn't something I've done easily or with gusto -- it always hurts because deep down I feel I have failed in some way. But ultimately, if a student has earned it, the best lesson I could teach is to let them earn it -- at least in my class. If you read Ecclesiastes - there is a time for everything and I would read that sometimes there is a time to be tough and allow a student to earn the F he or she deserves - but those times should be few - very few. </p> <p>Just ponderings from a tough teacher with a soft heart.</p> <p>What are your thoughts on "being tough" and "giving F's" versus "earning F's." Please share in the comments so we can see other valuable perspectives. I'm sure many of you wrestle with this like I do.</p> <p> </p><div style="text-align: right; font-size: small; clear: both;" id="blogsy_footer"><a href="http://blogsyapp.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Written by Vicki Davis, author - Flattening Classrooms, Engaging Minds - Posted with Blogsy from my iPad" height="20" src="http://blogsyapp.com/images/blogsy_footer_icon.png" style="vertical-align: middle; margin-right: 5px;" width="20" />Written by Vicki Davis, author - Flattening Classrooms, Engaging Minds - Posted with Blogsy from my iPad</a></div>

EDUCATION students Teaching The Right Tough: and ponderings on "F's" in school

Falling is scary. Most of us fall down sometimes. I can trip and fall flat on the ground. When I fall down I have two choices. I can sit there or I can stand up (if I'm still physically able to.) What about failing? Children fall a lot - especially …

Read more »

Why teachers should help lead a thankful revolution

<p> I've been thinking about the 19 firefighters in Arizona who died unexpectedly with the sudden turn of a fire. I've also been thinking of the teachers who gave their lives protecting children from gunmen and tornadoes this year. I've even been thinking about the janitors who quietly do their jobs in our school - do you know that if they scrimped on their job when no one was looking - we could literally have outbreaks of disease among our precious children?</p> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-ifl0L-wVt-A/SIJWqDLl0MI/AAAAAAAAELQ/_dLw2hAOm9A/s1600/Fireman.JPG" target="_blank" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" class="aligncenter" height="752" id="blogsy-1373625649065.7375" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-ifl0L-wVt-A/SIJWqDLl0MI/AAAAAAAAELQ/_dLw2hAOm9A/s500/Fireman.JPG" width="500"></a></div> <h2>How can we help promote gratitude and active thankfulness among this generation?</h2> <p>I just wonder what we as teachers can do to help promote a grateful generation. How can we help kids know the importance of saying "thank you" to and to be glad for what they have?</p> <p>This is something I want to be more of what I do this year at school.</p> <p>Sure, I've got standards to meet and a curriculum to accomplish, but it is kind of like this.</p> <p>If I focus on making sure my children keep their room clean while forgetting my relationship with my children - they might have a perfectly clean room but have no kind of relationship with me. We have tasks and relationships to balance. The relationship is vitally important. There's a human side to every task. When we forget the humans, their task becomes almost irrelevant. (Ahem, overtesting...)</p> <h2>Thankfulness as a habit</h2> <p>If teachers aren't thanked, perhaps it is because we don't help kids see and thank others. I'm not proposing we do this so that suddenly people can acknowledge that we are a noble calling (as they should, by the way). </p> <p>I am proposing that we help our children tell others that they matter and thank them for their work because it is something we must do. When we acknowledge the sacrifices of others, we are more sensitive to notice it everywhere we see it.</p> <h2>A self centered generation will be an unhappy one</h2> <p>The unhappiest people I know think only of their own happiness. An unhappy generation will be a self centered one. Kids are self centered by nature -it is pretty much how we are born. As I've matured and begun to see the value in helping others with my own life, I've grown in joy and fulfillment.</p> <p>Because one day tragedy will strike every community - it does. And communities that can live with the peace of mind that they've thanked the heroes among them will rest much easier on this. </p> <h1>Please share your ideas and links</h1> <p>How can we thank our law enforcement, EMTs, and all of those people who serve us every day? I'm looking for all kinds of ideas beyond having them come and sit at an assembly and taking food (I think they like the second one the most, from what I've heard.) What can we do to really shower and show gratitude to the heroes among us?</p> <p> If you've done something special, please write about it on your own blog and put the link in the comments below so that those of us gathering ideas can learn from you! Thank you.</p><div style="text-align: right; font-size: small; clear: both;" id="blogsy_footer"><a href="http://blogsyapp.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Written by Vicki Davis, author - Flattening Classrooms, Engaging Minds - Posted with Blogsy from my iPad" height="20" src="http://blogsyapp.com/images/blogsy_footer_icon.png" style="vertical-align: middle; margin-right: 5px;" width="20" />Written by Vicki Davis, author - Flattening Classrooms, Engaging Minds - Posted with Blogsy from my iPad</a></div>

Inspiration students Teaching Why teachers should help lead a thankful revolution

I've been thinking about the 19 firefighters in Arizona who died unexpectedly with the sudden turn of a fire. I've also been thinking of the teachers who gave their lives protecting children from gunmen and tornadoes this year. I've even been thinki…

Read more »

Family Treasures

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzjNSbNJ_ss74wb_jC9PGasN05VwNHLTIuObZNfSekd5m-QkmYzuTUSaogrws7nua-l10DljZElHPxqdxNrFCn3TVx9XuaI9_lBjsJZH8rftUFNq4DJSCnQGUCt1r5bAkqhyphenhyphenN8aH8ttGNi/s960/Photo%252520Jan%25252015%25252C%2525202013%25252C%2525206%25253A12%252520AM.jpg" target="_blank" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" class="aligncenter" height="375" id="blogsy-1358250105405.0251" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzjNSbNJ_ss74wb_jC9PGasN05VwNHLTIuObZNfSekd5m-QkmYzuTUSaogrws7nua-l10DljZElHPxqdxNrFCn3TVx9XuaI9_lBjsJZH8rftUFNq4DJSCnQGUCt1r5bAkqhyphenhyphenN8aH8ttGNi/s500/Photo%252520Jan%25252015%25252C%2525202013%25252C%2525206%25253A12%252520AM.jpg" width="500"></a></div> <h3>Words are wimps</h3> <p> I'm supposed to turn in the words for my son's annual ad today. I've been writing at 5 am. It is just one page. One page to summarize how I feel and what I want him to carry with him.</p> <p>But one page can't capture it. It won't. It can't. I have to pick the words that will inspire him and hope that 18 years has been enough time to tell him how much I love him and all the things that he needs to know to make it in this world. </p> <p>So, how can I leave a tiny piece of me on this page, so that when I'm gone, he can look at it and say ... "yeah, that's my Mom... that is what she would say to me if she were here right now." How can capture a bit of immortality -- or at least a fleeting bit, as long as he's alive, because in the end, he's the only one who will really read or care what I said. </p> <h3>Tidal Waves of Change</h3> <p>I was completely clueless about what this means and still am. It is kind of like playing in the surf at the beach, I think I'm ok until the next big wave comes and smacks me in the face, stinging my eyes and causing my nose to run. I get to do this two years in a row - two tsunamis back to back, my daughter graduates next year. </p> <p>So much of who I am is wrapped up in my desire to love my children with abandon and to make them independent people who don't need me anymore. In this case, success means change. Success means letting go. My youngest will be starting middle school next year... I'm more thankful for him than ever because I've still got a lot of being a Mom left in these bones. </p> <p>Being a Mom has been the greatest joy of my life as a close second to being a wife of a great man. I had no idea how much I'd love these three little squirming, wet creatures who came into my life. </p> <h3>Tough Times Give you the Chance to Treasure</h3> <p>Sunday we were laughing about all of the times we had been in or to the hospital with our three. LAUGHING. We laughed about how my youngest inhaled a sunflower seed and had to be at Eggleston and how I held him all night as he screamed because he couldn't eat. We laughed about how my oldest woke up from wisdom tooth surgery with a violent temper and my daughter came out of having her tonsils removed sobbing. We laughed about those things that almost sent me over the edge and we told jokes and we remembered those times with fondness. Why? Because it is our story together.</p> <p>Families make memories together. <strong>Sometimes the tough times are an opportunity to show just how much you love someone</strong>. Without those times, they might be oblivious as to what they mean to us...let me demonstrate.</p> <h3>The Family Heirlooms</h3> <p>Yesterday I heard this story that fits from Dr. Charles Lowery who told a story about a little girl who was told not to do gymastics in the den because the family heirlooms were on the shelves and tables. The rug was thick, so one day when Mom was in the back of the house, she couldn't resist and started doing her back handsprings. She was fine for a while but started really getting into it and kicked a vase off the shelf. When she did, it cracked into shards and she fell on top of the vase, cracking it further but gashing her leg open.</p> <p>Her Mom heard the noise and came running. The little girl was so afraid because she knew she had broken a precious family keepsake. But when her Mom came in and saw the blood, she didn't even see or say anything about the vase. All she could do was look at the little girls leg to see if she was ok. And then the little girl realized something that changed her life. <strong>She was the family treasure</strong>. </p> <h3>See the treasure in your students</h3> <p>As you teach these precious children, remember that everyone one of them is the family treasure. And if they are not..make them yours. Every child deserves to be loved. These children in your classroom are your heirlooms. They are treasures. They are gifts. </p> <p>As we struggle through life, teaching, and everything else, let's keep clearly in focus who the treasures in our lives are.</p> <p> Notice, I didn't say what our treasures are... I said WHO.</p> <p> </p><div style="text-align: right; font-size: small; clear: both;" id="blogsy_footer"><a href="http://blogsyapp.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Written by Vicki Davis, author - Flattening Classrooms, Engaging Minds - Posted with Blogsy from my iPad" height="20" src="http://blogsyapp.com/images/blogsy_footer_icon.png" style="vertical-align: middle; margin-right: 5px;" width="20" />Written by Vicki Davis, author - Flattening Classrooms, Engaging Minds - Posted with Blogsy from my iPad</a></div>

Inspiration parenting students Family Treasures

Words are wimps I'm supposed to turn in the words for my son's annual ad today. I've been writing at 5 am. It is just one page. One page to summarize how I feel and what I want him to carry with him. But one page can't capture it. It won't. It can'…

Read more »

When a student notices: as close to perfect as teaching can get

<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container zemanta-img" style="float: right; margin-right: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Special_ed_teacher.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: clear:right;"><img alt="English: A special education teacher assists o..." border="0" class="zemanta-img-inserted" height="202" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/1e/Special_ed_teacher.jpg/300px-Special_ed_teacher.jpg" style="border: none; font-size: 0.8em;" width="300" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption zemanta-img-attribution" style="text-align: center; width: 300px;">English: A special education teacher assists one of her students. (Photo credit: <a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Special_ed_teacher.jpg" target="_blank">Wikipedia</a>)</td></tr></tbody></table><br />As I'm grading and giving feedback to students, some of them are sending me responses. I'm literally crying over this one -- I've just included part of it:<br /><br /><blockquote class="tr_bq">"You are my roll model, and I want to be like you. You have so many unbelievably wonderful qualities that I wish I possessed too. I'm so thankful for your integrity and love for your students. You amaze me! I can't tell you how grateful I am to have you for a teacher. God bless you and happy New Year!"</blockquote><br />How could God have blessed me so much with students who take a minute to know that teachers have feelings too and that we often wonder if all that we give is worth it -- if anyone notices?<br /><br />Just want you all to know that I'm still here. Yesterday was the first day I've felt human in over a month with one of the worst illnesses I can remember having in a long time - largely exacerbated by a very tough schedule this December. This winter break has been a blur interjected with shots and doctor visits, quite literally.<br /><br /><h3>Encourage kids to given genuine thanks...teachers need it</h3>If you have child and they have a teacher who meant something to them - have you thought about mentioning that they might want to pass along a note. I have a tag in evernote that I file all of these "atagirl" comments that I read over when I feel hopeless and like I can't make it any more. Teaching is a high burn out job and we do these things to keep ourselves on track and focused about the main thing...our students.  You'd better love them...or you'll leave them...quite literally.<br /><br /><h3>Give genuine feedback to your students... they need to know they're not a number.</h3>Also, if you would like feedback from students, perhaps you should be giving them feedback as well as this was part of a response I received in response to a personal message I mailed to this student through my class Ning.<br /><br />Today, I needed this, and the fact that it comes from a precious 8th grader that I adore dearly, it means so much more.<br /><br /><h3>As close to perfect as teaching can get</h3>Tears of joy...back to grading and giving good, quality feedback to my students. I'm not perfect but sometimes, just sometimes, when someone says thank you, it feels as close to perfect as teaching can get.<br /><br /> <div class="zemanta-pixie" style="height: 15px; margin-top: 10px;"><a class="zemanta-pixie-a" href="http://www.zemanta.com/?px" title="Enhanced by Zemanta"><img alt="Enhanced by Zemanta" class="zemanta-pixie-img" src="http://img.zemanta.com/zemified_c.png?x-id=85bb1c97-eb2a-4c3d-a01c-478cdd8252a9" style="border: none; float: right;" /></a></div>

Inspiration students Teaching When a student notices: as close to perfect as teaching can get

English: A special education teacher assists one of her students. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)As I'm grading and giving feedback to students, some of them are sending me responses. I'm literally crying over this one -- I've just included part of it:"You…

Read more »