Penelope Cruz dined with Ridley Scott in London

<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUkfe8iovAj8yKnOO3rYy_LMJPoXR8M4GSVRwIms-6X-dE4O_SqgJ9L3K_aDeausKFEbZco0x4DvI0Ts3tSujJwKO6MVsOyKcTAq_oFECRDL1em6-AhpR7KuxU2ZjX6idOBk9ctdH-/s1600/Penelope+Cruz+dined+with+Ridley+Scott+in+London.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Penelope Cruz " border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUkfe8iovAj8yKnOO3rYy_LMJPoXR8M4GSVRwIms-6X-dE4O_SqgJ9L3K_aDeausKFEbZco0x4DvI0Ts3tSujJwKO6MVsOyKcTAq_oFECRDL1em6-AhpR7KuxU2ZjX6idOBk9ctdH-/s1600/Penelope+Cruz+dined+with+Ridley+Scott+in+London.jpg" title="Penelope Cruz " /></a></div><br /><b><a href="http://news-these-days.blogspot.com/search/label/Penelope%20Cruz" target="_blank">Penelope Cruz </a></b>yesterday met with the director "Advisor" by Ridley Scott and his wife, actress Giannina Fazio to dine in a London restaurant Scott's. Javier Bardem was not with them. <br /> <script type="text/javascript"><!-- google_ad_client = "ca-pub-8441125172513237"; /* biner3 */ google_ad_slot = "7346003106"; google_ad_width = 468; google_ad_height = 60; //--></script><script type="text/javascript" src="//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js"></script><br /> 39-year-old Spaniard was dressed in a black wool coat with belt, lace dress in tone and suede high-heeled boots. In her hands was a large black leather bag brand Loewe, the person she is. <br /> <br /> Cruz hair was arranged in a fashionable braid, and her face framed individual strands. Makeup Penelope was very natural that in everyday life outside red carpet for her characteristic.<br /><br /><script type="text/javascript"><!-- google_ad_client = "ca-pub-8441125172513237"; /* boton */ google_ad_slot = "4392536701"; google_ad_width = 200; google_ad_height = 90; //--></script><script type="text/javascript" src="//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js"></script><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk8HRk6WlurFLGvj7qrfkfABsMFHDafBf_zv_v3Jpk4TzZpMBupRJOK9iJBz2Bj5EXPos__q7k64mOKoPLM9CF10nnFPeZjgE_79TylkgKNtiotrH51zOhIgph3NnW4EuLTu0bWUOv/s1600/Penelope+Cruz+0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Penelope Cruz" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk8HRk6WlurFLGvj7qrfkfABsMFHDafBf_zv_v3Jpk4TzZpMBupRJOK9iJBz2Bj5EXPos__q7k64mOKoPLM9CF10nnFPeZjgE_79TylkgKNtiotrH51zOhIgph3NnW4EuLTu0bWUOv/s1600/Penelope+Cruz+0.jpg" title="Penelope Cruz" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhIkQAkZ3o8XbsNHbAaF_F0c1TS-rPQFxBGebqSYJ1VehvZHbfeF6y7Aj2sET_OCB-VyuVkiwaGLrLd6pj92x8iIrx0wzDnR0hsuDVtb4Xe5sVsQadL5WN1fbTNIJ9qHePrznvwC_c/s1600/Penelope+Cruz+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Penelope Cruz" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhIkQAkZ3o8XbsNHbAaF_F0c1TS-rPQFxBGebqSYJ1VehvZHbfeF6y7Aj2sET_OCB-VyuVkiwaGLrLd6pj92x8iIrx0wzDnR0hsuDVtb4Xe5sVsQadL5WN1fbTNIJ9qHePrznvwC_c/s1600/Penelope+Cruz+2.jpg" title="Penelope Cruz" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCLltwlwl-OSw39X6k-UCBIRgYy1YQUeEctF0nLsia6b8mQmCgPSLhaRnjQNfW9ckroRDiOVXe_DGh9MTu_DqdjyUQiXvYNuOxIGmG3d8CA7Jg-CbbAu4W4X3RyrKajB0ysiSYxdXJ/s1600/Penelope+Cruz+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Penelope Cruz" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCLltwlwl-OSw39X6k-UCBIRgYy1YQUeEctF0nLsia6b8mQmCgPSLhaRnjQNfW9ckroRDiOVXe_DGh9MTu_DqdjyUQiXvYNuOxIGmG3d8CA7Jg-CbbAu4W4X3RyrKajB0ysiSYxdXJ/s1600/Penelope+Cruz+1.jpg" title="Penelope Cruz" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQBq4IQfkQSByiWZyXJQHq2k77v7BencM8AWsqDuS-7xgmwyUceeVkSCZMN7qtwCd0soqMWKoveL70wN16LNB4J6JKQvMWSmTHogn6-YIFyWtFpzBFpj5eWuTrAaiWhmWfGD4t7Pnt/s1600/Penelope+Cruz+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Penelope Cruz" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQBq4IQfkQSByiWZyXJQHq2k77v7BencM8AWsqDuS-7xgmwyUceeVkSCZMN7qtwCd0soqMWKoveL70wN16LNB4J6JKQvMWSmTHogn6-YIFyWtFpzBFpj5eWuTrAaiWhmWfGD4t7Pnt/s1600/Penelope+Cruz+3.jpg" title="Penelope Cruz" /></a></div><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYwZRzgBPzax44CtNdpeKsSoh_io0NHQue_kXDERftSbZSjFIN1W1yunt_fKaAbGY9iqOqmR2rrQXlIGumn_n46vOBUh3AhokY0_J1HT9qEg7h8ui1M9MIjmE9Dp74IkBjHYKEQLTD/s1600/Ridley+Scott.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Ridley Scott" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYwZRzgBPzax44CtNdpeKsSoh_io0NHQue_kXDERftSbZSjFIN1W1yunt_fKaAbGY9iqOqmR2rrQXlIGumn_n46vOBUh3AhokY0_J1HT9qEg7h8ui1M9MIjmE9Dp74IkBjHYKEQLTD/s1600/Ridley+Scott.jpg" title="Ridley Scott" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Ridley Scott</span></td></tr></tbody></table><br />

news paparazzi Penelope Cruz photos Ridley Scott Penelope Cruz dined with Ridley Scott in London

Penelope Cruz yesterday met with the director "Advisor" by Ridley Scott and his wife, actress Giannina Fazio to dine in a London restaurant Scott's. Javier Bardem was not with them. 39-year-old Spaniard was dressed in a black wool coat with belt…

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Cate Blanchett made cry Penelope Cruz

<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img alt="Cate Blanchett, Penelope Cruz" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ5HGfBQk87Z-6iSSv83K4UzNXkmnpvnEK4aiPpUm14Oyy3m4MAagemqcO8ZwkSoBFZsMbjvvkXZfgpxNVkvKZwRnbcLFRz6ubOmJrvpUyyyxgD4Vsq8NqPkvF6O41lutyr8XHtLXFLS8/s1600/Cate+Blanchett+a+fait+pleurer+Penelope+Cruz.jpg" /></div><br />Hollywood actress <b>Penelope Cruz</b> says his colleague <b>Cate Blanchett</b> "incredibly talented».<br /><br /> 39-year-old owner of the "Oscar" having fun on the main character of the film "Jasmine» (Blue Jasmine - Eng.) Filmed by Woody Allen in 2012. Actually, it was while watching this movie Penelope cried. And no wonder, since the film received many awards, in particular, many of them - for the best female role played by Blanchett.<br /><br /><script type="text/javascript"><!-- google_ad_client = "ca-pub-8441125172513237"; /* biner3 */ google_ad_slot = "7346003106"; google_ad_width = 468; google_ad_height = 60; //--></script><script type="text/javascript" src="//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js"></script><br /><br /> «I looked" Jasmine "and fell in love with this movie, I was blown away. Cate Blanchett well, just incredibly talented actress. She made me laugh and cry "- admitted Cruz People.com.<br /><br /> Penelope also spoke about his love for the television series" Sex and the City. " Spanish actress appeared in an episode of "Sex and the City 2" in 2010, and since then considers himself an expert of this film: "I can answer any question with regard to this series, I know all the details».<br /><br /> Although, as the actress admitted , TV series she is not looking. Just Penelope Cruz, which only in the summer 2013, in July, gave birth to a daughter of the moon, as well as with her husband Javier Bardem brings year-old son Leonardo, just once.<br /><br /><script type="text/javascript"><!-- google_ad_client = "ca-pub-8441125172513237"; /* boton */ google_ad_slot = "4392536701"; google_ad_width = 200; google_ad_height = 90; //--></script><script type="text/javascript" src="//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js"></script><br />

Cate Blanchett gossip Penelope Cruz Cate Blanchett made cry Penelope Cruz

Hollywood actress Penelope Cruz says his colleague Cate Blanchett "incredibly talented». 39-year-old owner of the "Oscar" having fun on the main character of the film "Jasmine» (Blue Jasmine - Eng.) Filmed by Woody Allen in 2012. Actually, it was w…

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The Counselor: Guilty as charged

<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><b><i>The Counselor</i> </b></span></span></span></span></span></span><b>(2013) • <a href="http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/fox/thecounselor/" style="color: #27a9c5; text-decoration: none;">View trailer</a></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><b> </b><br /><b>No stars (turkey). Rating: R, for graphic violence, grisly images, profanity and strong sexual content</b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #5e5e5e; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><b>By <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/12885694730612878577" style="color: #27a9c5; text-decoration: none;">Derrick Bang</a> • </b></span>Originally published in <i><a href="http://www.davisenterprise.com/" style="color: #27a9c5; text-decoration: none;">The Davis Enterprise</a></i>, 10.25.13</b></span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cormac McCarthy apparently felt that 2009’s big-screen adaptation of his novel <i><a href="http://derrickbang.blogspot.com/2010/11/road-futile-journey.html">The Road</a></i> wasn’t sufficiently bleak, violent or morally depraved, so he upped his game with the original screenplay for this glossy bit of rubbish.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdO7MLg_yVs9vnrd-NB4ZtYMb0jzjx5n-Ulfpyj9VwMPAf1OzSmjEpVybEeMGqV_TyhSmNZXLTwnbhlLJiMt6Rq3BJdo-M-KjRHgqF_AASJLyhXKGvvXonf3CIHHkbrh72mRnlDcOthtA/s1600/The+Counselor+blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdO7MLg_yVs9vnrd-NB4ZtYMb0jzjx5n-Ulfpyj9VwMPAf1OzSmjEpVybEeMGqV_TyhSmNZXLTwnbhlLJiMt6Rq3BJdo-M-KjRHgqF_AASJLyhXKGvvXonf3CIHHkbrh72mRnlDcOthtA/s400/The+Counselor+blog.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Despite repeated, protracted and viciously descriptive warnings from Westray (Brad Pitt,<br />left), our imbecilic title character (Michael Fassbender) stubbornly insists on getting<br />involved with a massive shipment of illegal drugs. After all, what could go wrong?</span></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Rarely have so many A-list stars been involved in such a lamentable waste of time.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>The Counselor</i> isn’t merely set in a world of abominable behavior; McCarthy’s characters are cheerfully pragmatic about it. No act too vile to contemplate? They don’t merely contemplate; they discuss barbarism with the thoughtful ease of two fellows comparing cigar brands in a gentlemen’s club. Then, having laboriously exhausted the subject, director Ridley Scott ensures that we’ll eventually get to <i>watch</i>each degenerate act.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">McCarthy has a Pulitzer Prize to his credit, for the aforementioned <i>The Road</i>, and rumor suggests that he’s under consideration for a Nobel Prize for literature. The characters in his novels often struggle with moral ambiguity in an increasingly cynical world, although we’re generally able to sympathize with a well-meaning protagonist, whether John Grady Cole in <i>All the Pretty Horses</i>, or Sheriff Ed Tom Bell in the grimmer <i>No Country for Old Men</i> (adapted into a sensational 2007 film by Joel and Ethan Coen).<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But there’s nobody to like in <i>The Counselor</i>; indeed, it’s difficult to even understand most of the characters who populate this deadly dull study of ill-advised acts and their horrible consequences. Everybody is morally compromised at best, or sociopathic, or indifferently brutal. Everybody except the token innocent, that is, who may as well be wearing a sign that reads “Sacrificial Lamb.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Mind you, a roster of degenerates isn’t necessarily bad in and of itself; Quentin Tarantino has a way of extracting wonderfully dark entertainment from the vicious swine who inhabit, say, Pulp Fiction or <i><a href="http://derrickbang.blogspot.com/2009/09/inglourious-basterds-paths-of-gloury.html">Inglourious Basterds</a></i>. But that’s precisely the point: Tarantino characters are engaging for the way they revel in their bad behavior, whereas the increasingly tiresome players in this drama give new meaning to the word “boring.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><a name='more'></a><br /><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And <i>goodness</i>, how they talk. Talk, talk, talk ... most of them trying to impress our title character — his given name never revealed — with their deeply philosophical, even poetic views on the nature and consequences of vice. They all sound like frustrated university English professors.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Needless to say, real people — particularly dangerous criminals — don’t talk this way, but this twisted story isn’t deep enough to qualify as some sort of parable. It’s simply dull, and you’ll quickly tire of actors who declaim with the faux intensity of bad Shakespearean performers.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our “hero” invariably stands, blank-faced, during all these exchanges, asking moronic questions that encourage the continuance of each tedious conversation. He demonstrates the intelligence and perceptive savvy of a 5-year-old child, which makes one wonder how he has been able to curry favor, at least initially, with so many upper-echelon bad guys.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I knew we were in trouble, early on, when The Counselor — as everybody calls him — endures a lengthy discussion on the nature and imperfections of diamonds: a didactic sermon that quickly devolves into the dullest lecture imaginable. It goes on <i>forever</i>. Does it have anything to do with what follows? Is this diamond merchant a key character, and will we see him again? Is the diamond itself, which The Counselor eventually purchases, somehow significant? Nope, nope and nope.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Granted, this microscopically flawed gem foreshadows an ongoing theme of flawed behavior, and particularly the rather sexist notion, offered (at tedious length) by Reiner (Javier Bardem), that all women prefer imperfect men. But that point is obvious long before this interminable scene concludes ... and it’s merely the first of numerous interminable scenes.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Scott opens his film with The Counselor (Michael Fassbender) in bed with his lover, Laura (Penélope Cruz): also an oddly protracted sequence intended to convey playful intimacy, which somehow misses that mark and slides toward vulgarity. Maybe it’s the smug look on Fassbender’s face, which clashes with Cruz’s gently affectionate smile.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is an early indication of the degree to which Fassbender, generally a much better actor, swans through much of this film with expressions and body language that seem a little bit off, if not downright wrong. He simply doesn’t work as a character.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Anyway, for reasons we never learn, The Counselor has gotten himself into deep financial doo-doo. He therefore embarks on two foolhardy plans: to open a nightclub in partnership with Reiner, a decadent entrepreneur with connections to The Wrong Sort of People. Worse yet, this scheme will be financed — and The Counselor’s money problems “solved” — by his involvement with a massive drug shipment from Mexico to the States.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Everybody warns The Counselor not to do this, not to take this step, because Actions Have Consequences. Reiner warns him. At length. Westray (Brad Pitt), the middleman in this proposed arrangement, also warns him. At greater length. The Counselor smiles blandly, asking stupid questions and making brainless observations, then does it anyway.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We can’t help wondering <i>how</i> our protagonist is allowed to participate in this $20 million drug deal. What’s his buy-in? Why is he taken at face value by off-camera drug barons who obviously would be suspicious of such a dumb neophyte?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Actually, that’s the major problem with this screenplay. We know <i>nothing</i> about our title character. Is he an essentially good man making one ghastly mistake, or a longtime sleaze who deserves what comes next? How has he gotten to know these people? Why does he seem to represent only shady individuals, such as Ruth, the tough felon played with almost comical prison ’tude by Rosie Perez?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It’s like this guy parachutes into this storyline, no identity or background given, and then does stuff simply because The Script Says So.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Rubbish.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Scott is equally clumsy with respect to logging key events. There’s no sense of time in this mess. Do days pass? Weeks? When, precisely, does The Counselor spring Ruth’s adult son from jail, thus allowing this kid to meet his destiny and set up the catastrophe that ruins everything?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Much is made, as well, of the drug shipment cleverly concealed within a truck of liquid waste: a truck that gets hijacked not just once, but twice, ultimately winding up under the control of ... who? Do we care?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not in the least.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We do know that the initial double-cross is orchestrated by Reiner’s girlfriend, Malkina (Cameron Diaz), a brilliant sociopath who delights in destroying people: an act that she regards as an erotic high. She identifies with Reiner’s two pet leopards, and the athletic grace with which they chase down prey; she even has leopard-style spots tattooed on her back. It’s an intriguing role for Diaz, but — again — Malkina remains a cipher, despite one fleeting remark regarding her childhood.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Malkina certainly is the most interesting character in this morass, but that’s damning with <i>very</i> faint praise.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Pitt, alternatively, is the most interesting actor: the only one who puts just the right spin on his performance. He looks and behaves like the cautious, slightly mocking type who’d be found in such circumstances, who knows that the odds are certain to catch up with him, but — like an addicted gambler — can’t walk away from the table.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The production values are as dull as McCarthy’s script. Dariusz Wolski’s cinematography is washed out and lifeless, and he doesn’t do anything interesting with interiors that range from seamy to opulent. Daniel Pemberton’s tuneless score is actually irritating ... but not nearly as irritating as Scott’s reliance on tight close-ups, as these people chatter on, and on, and on.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I cannot imagine what anybody saw in this script, even given the obvious allure of working with McCarthy. And I definitely can’t imagine why the execs at 20th Century Fox believed they had something worth releasing. This rancid flick should have been staked like a vampire, its head lopped off — as happens more than once, during this saga — and buried in a separate grave.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bad movies come in many flavors, but nothing is worse than being boring. <i>Perpetually</i> boring. Grindingly, offensively, sadistic-for-the-hell-of-it boring.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings></xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument></xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276"> </w:LatentStyles></xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 10]><style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style><![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <!--EndFragment--><br /><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You’ve been warned.</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>

2013 Brad Pitt Cameron Diaz crime drama Goran Visnjic Javier Bardem Michael Fassbender Natalie Dormer Penelope Cruz Ridley Scott Rosie Perez Turkey The Counselor: Guilty as charged

The Counselor (2013) • View trailer No stars (turkey). Rating: R, for graphic violence, grisly images, profanity and strong sexual contentBy Derrick Bang • Originally published in The Davis Enterprise, 10.25.13Cormac McCarthy apparently felt that 200…

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I'm So Excited: Not by a long shot

<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #5e5e5e; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #5e5e5e; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #5e5e5e; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #5e5e5e; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #5e5e5e; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><b><i>I'm So Excited</i> </b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #5e5e5e; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><b>(2013) • <a href="http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/sony/imsoexcited/" style="color: #27a9c5; text-decoration: none;">View trailer</a></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #5e5e5e; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #5e5e5e; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #5e5e5e; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #5e5e5e; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><b> </b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #5e5e5e; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #5e5e5e; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><b>One star. Rating: R, for strong crude and sexual content (all verbal), and drug use</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #5e5e5e; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #5e5e5e; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><b>By <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/12885694730612878577" style="color: #27a9c5; text-decoration: none;">Derrick Bang</a></b></span></b></span></span></span></span></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings></xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument></xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276"> </w:LatentStyles></xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 10]><style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style><![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <br /><div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’m still struggling to believe that Pedro Almodóvar had anything to do with this flimsy waste of celluloid.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyTmJxgJmlxFPlbjtIxhdxkY4smbs-WUJvQgB-ZNUUvY3C4FUNNZNmatK4Tp-XfbP1JjaOy2CK6x8L86NEk3cktpC3RadFa4ipL56Yn5FO3R1Pw6eVWVMCzeQ5P2gQ5kswCLQ8IypjZqw/s1600/I'm+So+Excited+blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyTmJxgJmlxFPlbjtIxhdxkY4smbs-WUJvQgB-ZNUUvY3C4FUNNZNmatK4Tp-XfbP1JjaOy2CK6x8L86NEk3cktpC3RadFa4ipL56Yn5FO3R1Pw6eVWVMCzeQ5P2gQ5kswCLQ8IypjZqw/s400/I'm+So+Excited+blog.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">In an effort to distract their passengers from the dire circumstances that are preventing<br />the plane from landing, three flight attendants — from left, Fajas (Carlos Areces),<br />Ulloa (Raúl Arévalo) and Joserra (Javier Cámara) — break into a hilariously<br />choreographed rendition of the Pointer Sisters' "I'm So Excited." This three-minute<br />sequence is absolutely the only thing worth watching in this bewildering bomb.</span></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Almodóvar, the acclaimed Spanish filmmaker who brought us <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown</i>, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">All About My Mother</i>, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!</i> and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Volver</i>?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>That</i> Pedro Almodóvar? <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Seriously?</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hard to imagine.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Almodóvar knows better than most that cheeky, exaggerated sensuality is a magical blend of setting, sharp dialogue, camera-friendly actors who radiate lust and, yes, artful nudity (the less expected and more inappropriate, the better).<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">I’m So Excited</span></i><span style="font-weight: normal;"> contains none of the above. Worse yet, Almodóvar has abandoned his (usually) progressive Western European sensibilities in favor of stale and vulgar homoerotic jokes: the sort of tiresome one-liners currently viewed as the height of sex humor by arrested American adolescents such as Seth Rogen and the rest of Judd Apatow’s repertory company.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings></xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument></xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276"> </w:LatentStyles></xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 10]><style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style><![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> </span><br /><div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">I’ll give Almodóvar the benefit of the doubt, and assume that he deliberately spoofs timeworn gay male stereotypes here ... but that’s not apt to mollify viewers who will recoil from his mincing portrayal of three flight attendants. Not even Liberace was this swish.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> <div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;">On top of which, if Almodóvar removed every dialogue reference to fellatio — spoken by men, women and genders hard to determine — I suspect his entire script would clock in at fewer than 25 words. Never have so many men, some of them defiantly heterosexual, claimed to so thoroughly enjoy wrapping their mouths around ... um, you get the idea.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;">This might be amusing — even hilarious — under better circumstances. But absent context or back-story, it’s just a bunch of ill-defined characters with potty mouths and overcooked libidos. Never has polymorphous perversity sounded so ... well ... dull.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;">This film also looks cheap, with almost all of its “action” restricted to the cramped, obviously fake-set interior of an airplane. Brief detours are taken to a) an apartment; and b) a city street. Also not what you’d call budget-busters. Production costs couldn’t have topped $1.78.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;">The cast looks and sounds under-rehearsed, and the dialogue is forced, unpersuasive and (from the sound of things) frequently improvised. I’m amazed Almodóvar had the audacity to claim scripting credit; I see scant evidence of actual writing.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;">He also opens with a tease: a quick scene between Antonio Banderas and Penélope Cruz, leading us to hope that we’ll see more of them. No such luck. Their radiant faces — their naturalistic performances, and their obvious chemistry — vanish after a quick prologue. After that, we’re stuck with the B-Team. No, wait ... more like the P-Team.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;">The story then, such as it is:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Banderas and Cruz make their cameos as León and Jessica, members of the ground crew for Peninsula Airlines Flight 2549; thanks to a brief interruption, León fails to properly remove the large wheel chocks, prior to take-off.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;">We then join Flight 2549 during take-off, as the flight crew preps all passengers with the usual lecture about oxygen masks and seat flotation devices; this is our first glimpse of flight attendants Fajas (Carlos Areces), Ulloa (Raúl Arévalo) and Joserra (Javier Cámara).<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Then, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">whoosh</i>, time passes. The plane is quiet, which is no surprise; everybody in coach is fast asleep, having been doped with muscle relaxants (!). For some reason, the business class passengers have been allowed to remain awake. (I guess we’d have no movie otherwise, which I’d argue would have been a good thing.)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;">The reason for the doping, and for the worried expressions shared by pilot Alex Acero (Antonio De La Torre) and co-pilot Benito Morón (Hugo Silva), is that Flight 2549 is in trouble. It can’t land because the aforementioned chocks have interfered with the deployment of landing gear. The intended flight to Mexico City has been canceled; the plane just keeps circling, waiting for ground-based Folks In Charge to find and then prepare a runway for an emergency landing.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;">We now pause, for a moment of topicality.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Almodóvar can’t be blamed for bad timing; he certainly didn’t know that his film would gain its U.S. opening mere weeks after the Asiana Airlines crash in San Francisco. I’d like to think, however, that the folks at Sony Pictures Classics might have deemed release a wee bit tasteless, and elected to postpone. Absent that bit of prudence, we’re left with a low-rent sex comedy that would have been dreadful under the best of circumstances, but becomes even worse by attempting to mine humor from a situation that is seriously un-funny at this particular moment.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;">(Disney “waited” six months, until April 2002, to release <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Big Trouble</i>— with its tasteless bomb-in-a-plane climax — in the wake of 9/11. That didn’t work either.)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Anyway...<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;">With death a very real possibility, the business class passengers eventually confess the reasons for their trips: revelations apparently intended to be provocative and/or amusing.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Hardly.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Bruna (Lola Duenas), a self-proclaim psychic, frets that she may die a virgin; she can’t stop eyeing the impressive pants bulge of one fellow snoozing away in coach. A newlywed groom (Miguel Ángel Silvestre), actually a drug mule with a baggy of mescaline shoved up his fundament, pops pills into the mouth of his bride (Laya Martí) so that she’ll sleep through whatever happens next.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Gossip queen Norma (Cecilia Roth), actually a dominatrix who boasts of having slept with her country’s 600 most powerful men — while taping said encounters, for blackmail leverage — worries that this calamity is a rather ostentatious plot to kill her. Infante (José María Yazpik), a somewhat sinister fellow, keeps close counsel.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Corrupt businessman Mas (José Luis Torrijo), having fled just ahead of arrest back home, laments the ongoing estrangement from his daughter, who has embraced a provocative sexual lifestyle. Finally, soap opera star Ricardo Galán (Guillermo Toledo) has abandoned his most recent lover, while contrived circumstances bring a former lover (Blanca Suárez, as Ruth) back into his life.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Our brief sojourn with Ruth takes us back to the ground, for a subplot that appears to have been dragged in from another film. A better one, too, from what we see of it.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Back in the air, everybody gets drunk — including the pilots — in some cases will past the point of acute alcohol poisoning. That’s not funny; it’s just dumb. Inhibitions disappear, particularly after the application of mescaline-laced punch. Confessions emerge, none the slightest bit interesting. The bride demonstrates a talent for having sex in her sleep. Bruna has sex with the well-hung fellow in coach, while <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">he</i> sleeps.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Nobody undresses, not even a little. As Joe Bob Briggs might have groused, back in the day, we don’t even get a flash of side-boob during any of these couplings.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;">The film’s sole saving grace comes when the three gay caballeros — ah, flight attendants — wriggle and jiggle their way through a lively lip-synched and hilariously choreographed rendition of the Pointer Sisters’ “I’m So Excited” (hence the film’s title).<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;">No doubt this scene soon will be extracted as a YouTube video, saving everybody the trouble of enduring the rest of this tawdry turkey.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Actually, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I’m So Excited</i> has one more virtue: It’s short. At 90 minutes, it’s only 87 minutes too long.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;">I don’t care how much you admire Almodóvar; this one must be skipped.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle"><span style="font-weight: normal;">You’ve been warned.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><!--EndFragment--></span></div><!--EndFragment-->

2013 Antonio Banderas Antonio De La Torre Carlos Areces Cecilia Roth Comedy Foreign films Hugo Silva Javier Camara Lola Duenas Pedro Almodovar Penelope Cruz Raul Arevalo I'm So Excited: Not by a long shot

I'm So Excited (2013) • View trailer One star. Rating: R, for strong crude and sexual content (all verbal), and drug useBy Derrick Bang 0 false 18 pt 18 pt 0 0 false false false /* Style Definitions */ t…

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