David Blaine is neither real nor magic

<script async="" src="//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script><!-- 3 --><br /><ins class="adsbygoogle" data-ad-client="ca-pub-4973891917352186" data-ad-slot="2995338919" style="display: inline-block; height: 250px; width: 300px;"></ins><script>(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); </script> <br /><div><br /></div><div><h1 class="storytitle" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #131313; font-family: jaf-bernino-sans-condensed, 'Francois One', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 32px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 10px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 830px;">David Blaine is neither real nor magic</h1></div><div><a href="http://popwatch.ew.com/">http://popwatch.ew.com</a></div><div><br /></div><div><div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #454545; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; padding: 0px 0px 12px; vertical-align: baseline;">t just seems very obvious to me that David Blaine is some sort of wizard or alien, sent here from an entirely different realm to infatuate us with magic so as to slow down the process of science.<span id="more-276345" style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></div><div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #454545; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; padding: 0px 0px 12px; vertical-align: baseline;">In tonight’s ABC special <em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">David Blaine: Real or Magic?</em> the emotionally disaffected…. meta-physicist? robot? serial killer?…. Pod Non-Person blew the minds of celebrities and normals alike. He repaired an eaten piece of a $20 bill with his mouth, rage-puked kerosene he’d swallowed in order to ignite a fire, pulled a string from his eye (NOPE. STOP. CAN’T), and guessed the code to Aaron Paul’s iPhone (bitch!). He’s the craziest creature-thing I’ve ever seen.</div><div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #454545; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; padding: 0px 0px 12px; vertical-align: baseline;">And he’s NOT REAL. There’s no need to try and figure out what David Blaine did. He’s just executing the job the non-human life force sent him here to do. There will only ever be one of him. David Blaine has nothing to do with us.</div><div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 12px; vertical-align: baseline;"></div><div class="kicker-link" style="border: 0px; color: #454545; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold !important; line-height: 20px; padding: 5px 12px 12px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-transform: uppercase; vertical-align: baseline;">GET MORE EW</span>: <a href="https://subscription.ew.com/storefront/subscribe-to-entertainment-weekly/link/1005735.html" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgb(255, 94, 153); color: #24bcc8; text-decoration: none;">Subscribe to the magazine for only 33¢ an issue!</a></div><div style="border: 0px; color: #454545; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; padding: 0px 0px 12px; vertical-align: baseline;">Need proof? David Blaine DOESN’T BLEED.</div></div><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/IlgUeD2MQjM" width="560"></iframe><br /><br /><span style="background-color: white; color: #454545; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px;">There he is sticking a long-ass needle through his bicep to the delight and horror of final famous-person ogler Ricky Gervais. Earlier, Blaine had stuck an ice pick through his bloodless “hand” for an incredulous Kanye West (who remained silent for more than 10 seconds, so okay, maybe it’s </span><em style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #454545; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">possible</em><span style="background-color: white; color: #454545; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px;"> David Blaine really is magic).</span><br /><br /><div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #454545; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; padding: 0px 0px 12px; vertical-align: baseline;">“It looks pretty real, right?” Blaine kept asking everyone — because he doesn’t know what “real” means, because David Blaine is not real.</div><div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #454545; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; padding: 0px 0px 12px; vertical-align: baseline;">Gervais’ commentary was the closest to my own as I sat there both fascinated and violently repelled:</div><div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #454545; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; padding: 0px 0px 12px; vertical-align: baseline;">“Oh, for f—’s sake.”</div><div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #454545; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; padding: 0px 0px 12px; vertical-align: baseline;">“F—ing <em style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">how</em>?”</div><div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #454545; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; padding: 0px 0px 12px; vertical-align: baseline;">“…Are you mental?” (Cool Wayne Campbell cameo, bro.)</div><div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #454545; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; padding: 0px 0px 12px; vertical-align: baseline;">My favorite moment of the special, though, was when a disinterested Woody Allen (pictured) suddenly perked up. “I just made this malted,” he announced, offering the Visitor the last three or so sips of his own hazy concoction to wash down Blaine’s yummy, momentary snack of live goldfish and a bathtub’s worth of water. Can we just have a two-hour special about Woody Allen making malteds in his house?</div><div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #454545; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; padding: 0px 0px 12px; vertical-align: baseline;">Second-favorite: “Get the f— out of my house.” –Harrison Ford, high on life and spreading the word</div><div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #454545; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; padding: 0px 0px 12px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Did David Blaine’s special freak you out, too? There’s no way he’s real, right? Who or what sent him here?</strong></div><div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #454545; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; padding: 0px 0px 12px; vertical-align: baseline;">How the f— did I even start watching this?</div><div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #454545; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; padding: 0px 0px 12px; vertical-align: baseline;">I invite your f—ing theories!</div><br /><br />

David Blaine is neither real nor magic David Blaine is neither real nor magic

David Blaine is neither real nor magic http://popwatch.ew.com t just seems very obvious to me that David Blaine is some sort of wizard or a...

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