Confession

Everybody's got that nutty relative. Well I've got tons of nutty, but mostly they ain't the fun kind of nutty. There's one that that keeps everyone in stitches.  She's a tiny little old lady with the most crass mouth and dirtiest mind.  Think the old lady, Sophia, from the Golden Girls.  Just with a heavier accent, nearly black hair, and a foul mouth.  Usually it's little comments worked into conversation that make you pause and think, "Did she really just say that?"  Since it was safe for work, she sent it to my work email so I could share with my friends lol...

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.' The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.' "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?" 'I cannot say.' 'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?' 'I'll never tell.' 'Was it Nina Capelli?' 'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.' 'Was it Cathy Piriano?' 'My lips are sealed Father.' 'Well then, was it Rosa DiAngelo?' 'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.' Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?' 'Four month's vacation and five excellent Leads.'

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Posted by: Tukiyooo Confession Updated at : 5:08 PM

Tuesday, September 24, 2013