"I'll do it."
Seemed simple enough. Not as simple as I probably think, but the general principle of being asked to do something and following through shouldn't be too difficult to the one asking for it. Well, I blew it.
I didn't see it for what it was until this morning. I guess, like probably every one of you, it didn't go as I pictured it would... you know, my way lol. I was thinking more like "put away these clothes that you've had sitting around for a week" or maybe something like "help the kids sort out their toys so we can walk through the living room again." Or more importantly, "Do your work tasks today so we don't owe late fees."
My heart is always in everything I do, even if I despise doing it. Everything is done for a reason and I like to think there's always good to come from it in the end. Heart and good intentions don't get the job done. I've always had issues with organization and procrastination. I have ADD that's no longer medicated. Not that it's an excuse, not at all, it just poses an additional challenge for staying on task when I finally get doing whatever it was. Deadlines and disasters are what motivate me. Which comes back around to why I think DD is going to help me as opposed to some other way of improving my relationship with my husband.
One of our businesses is closed this week. Kids are out of school this week and back to school Monday, darned year-round schools. I do have stuff to do, I'm still sorta working, just the stuff I usually do at home. This is the closest our family gets to having a stay-at-home mom.
Read: I have a lot more time on my hands.
They were subtle. I didn't catch it. Softly spoken suggestions. I mean, I heard them, but filed them away as things on my to-do list... that will never be completed. Suggestions that didn't quite register with the enormity of what he brought himself to do.
Not barked out, but worked into conversation. You should probably go to the bank. Child should probably get writing thank-you cards, her party was a month ago. Do you think you'd have time to call the utility company to find out how they want us to do something for a work project? With that one he added, "You're so much better at that stuff than I am."
We had a late dinner after kids went to bed. "Did you get a lot of stuff done today?" I admitted no. "Well you got a house rented today." Yes, I did, for more money than the last tenant!! "And you went to the bank." No... made some excuses. "Well, you've got the cards done." No... just bought them and didn't
He sat there shaking his head in utter frustration. I brushed it off, knowing I'd get these things done eventually.
This morning, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Those words seared into my brain. "You're so much better at that stuff than I am." Reading was far more important to me yesterday, more important than the work I knew I had to do. Apparently more important than what I was asked to do. When I had an opportunity to encourage him, I blew it.
With an obscene amount of guilt weighing on me, I had a lengthy conversation with the utility company while they scrambled for the answer. My daughter has been sitting here dutifully writing thank you cards. Shes making far too much work for herself but they're really stinkin cute. She's still writing and I'm here typing. Then we'll be off to the post office so she can pick out her own stamps... then to the bank.
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Posted by: Tukiyooo
Blew it Updated at :
8:23 AM
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
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