Hola y’all! Well, the apartment manager was upstairs yesterday with a clip board inspecting the empty apartment. I guess that means someone has rented it and will be moving in soon. I’ve been expecting someone to move in over the long Memorial Day Weekend anyway. Needless to say I’m very concerned that it might be another loud asshole. I’m hoping for lesbians though. I think lesbians would make great neighbors. In fact, I decided to break it all down scientifically to see if my assumption that lesbians would be superior neighbors to a straight couple.
Straight Couple: Loud rap or (even worse) country music.
Lesbian Couple: Indigo Girls, K.D. Lang and Meshell Ndegeocello.
Adv: Lesbians
Straight Couple: Bed squeaking, man grunting, woman moaning.
Lesbian Couple: Bed squeaking, TWO WOMEN MOANING!
Adv: Lesbians
Straight Couple: Man cussing, woman shrieking during fight.
Lesbian Couple: Two women shrieking during fight.
Adv: Straights
Straight Party: Couples & singles, loud rap or country music, eventually a fight breaks out.
Lesbian Party: A nice get-together with snacks, indie music and wine for several women they’re trying to convert.
Adv: Lesbians
Straight Couple: Walk around in high heels and cowboy boots.
Lesbian Couple: Walk around in Birkenstocks and work/combat boots.
Adv: Push
Straight Couples: Steak and potato people.
Lesbian Couples: Tofu and vegan people.
Adv: Straights
Straight Couple: Confederate Flags hanging from the window.
Lesbian Couple: Rainbow Flags hanging from the window.
Adv: Lesbians
Straight Couples: Watch shows like Real Housewives or Honey Boo Boo.
Lesbian Couples: Watch “The L-Word”
Adv: Lesbians
Straight Couples: Play loud video games while jumping around and yelling.
Lesbians: Go bowling.
Adv: Lesbians
Straight Couple: Fox and Friends
Lesbian Couple: The Daily Show
Adv: Lesbians
So you see folks, when you break it all down scientifically, it’s not so hard to figure it all out. By a score of 7 – 2 with one push Lesbian Couples are the far preferable neighbors.
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Lesbian vs Straight Couples Updated at :
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Thursday, May 23, 2013
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