Hola y’all! Time for another discussion with Jay’s Imaginary Friend (IF).
Jay: AHHHHHHHHH YOU FUCKING PIECE OF CRAP! WHAT THE FUCK’S THE PROBLEM! IF: What!? What!? What are you screaming at!
Jay: Fucking Words With Friends is telling me that “G-A-M-B” isn’t word. That’s bullshit.
IF: I’ve never heard of that word.
Jay: Oh, so just because YOOOOOOOO’VE never heard of it, that means it’s a not a word?
IF: I didn’t say that, I just … *looks at screen* you played “g-O-m-b” dumb ass.
Jay: What? *looks at screen* Oh, let me fix that. *plays “g-a-m-b* See? It works?
IF: That’s great. I’m so happy.
Jay: Oh, now you’re gonna be a smart ass and not acknowledge that GAMB is a word.
IF: I didn’t say it wasn’t.
Jay: Uh-huh. You just don’t want to admit being wrong.
IF: Whatever. Why do have to get so mad like that and yell at a computer screen?
Jay: I don’t. Just every once in a while. Probably because you’re here.
IF: Noooooooo …. You get mad at inanimate objects all the time.
Jay: It’s part of my charm.
IF: You should work on that.
Jay: I don’t really know what you’re talking about.
IF: Really? As if you weren’t yelling at that KIA commercialcalling the guy who parked so close to the car next to him that he had to climb out the hatch an ASSHOLE?
Jay: He’s TOTALLY an asshole! Now the passenger in the car he parked next to can’t get in her vehicle.
IF: How do you know it’s a her?
Jay: They’re obviously at a family place, so dad will drive and mom is the passenger.
IF: Nice bit of sexism there.
Jay: Not sexism, just going with the …
IF: STEREOTYPES?
Jay: Percentages.
IF: Oh please! Anyway, the driver can just back out and HE OR SHE can get in then. No big deal.
Jay: They’ll hold up traffic in the parking deck.
IF: You don’t know that!
Jay: It doesn’t matter, it’s the principal. The guy is OBVIOUSLY an asshole.
IF: It’s just a TV commercial!
Jay: It reflects society! People are inconsiderate assholes and they’re celebrating that fact.
IF: Or, they made the commercial so people would see it and get mad at the rudeness and be sure not to act that way.
Jay: *rolls eyes* They’re not that fucking clever.
Jay: He’s TOTALLY an asshole! Now the passenger in the car he parked next to can’t get in her vehicle.
IF: How do you know it’s a her?
Jay: They’re obviously at a family place, so dad will drive and mom is the passenger.
IF: Nice bit of sexism there.
Jay: Not sexism, just going with the …
IF: STEREOTYPES?
Jay: Percentages.
IF: Oh please! Anyway, the driver can just back out and HE OR SHE can get in then. No big deal.
Jay: They’ll hold up traffic in the parking deck.
IF: You don’t know that!
Jay: It doesn’t matter, it’s the principal. The guy is OBVIOUSLY an asshole.
IF: It’s just a TV commercial!
Jay: It reflects society! People are inconsiderate assholes and they’re celebrating that fact.
IF: Or, they made the commercial so people would see it and get mad at the rudeness and be sure not to act that way.
Jay: *rolls eyes* They’re not that fucking clever.
IF: You’re just so negative all the time.
Jay: No I’m not.
IF: *sigh* Yes you are.
Jay: *sigh* Only when you’re here to bug the shit out of me.
IF: That’s not a very nice thing to say.
Jay: I’m not a very nice guy.
IF: No wonder you lose Facebook friends all the time.
Jay: That’s not really a good indication of anything.
IF: Why is that?
Jay: Because I don’t actually know most of the people who have de-friended me.
IF: MOST?
Jay: Almost all.
IF: A couple of them you did know?
Jay: Yeah, but one de-friended me when I made fun of Chick-fil-A, so that doesn’t count.
IF: Why not?
Jay: Because de-friending over political views is childish and stupid.
IF: But, don’t you want people to like you?
Jay: I don’t really have any control over that.
IF: Sure you do.
Jay: No I’m not.
IF: *sigh* Yes you are.
Jay: *sigh* Only when you’re here to bug the shit out of me.
IF: That’s not a very nice thing to say.
Jay: I’m not a very nice guy.
IF: No wonder you lose Facebook friends all the time.
Jay: That’s not really a good indication of anything.
IF: Why is that?
Jay: Because I don’t actually know most of the people who have de-friended me.
IF: MOST?
Jay: Almost all.
IF: A couple of them you did know?
Jay: Yeah, but one de-friended me when I made fun of Chick-fil-A, so that doesn’t count.
IF: Why not?
Jay: Because de-friending over political views is childish and stupid.
IF: But, don’t you want people to like you?
Jay: I don’t really have any control over that.
IF: Sure you do.
Jay: OH GODDAMMITFUCKSHIT! FUUUUUUUUUCK!
IF: OMG! What?
Jay: I left my phone in my car.
IF: See? That’s what I’m talking about!
Jay: What?
IF: There’s no reason to get all angry.
Jay: I’m not.
IF: There’s no reason to use that language.
Jay: Sure there. I need to express my annoyance sometimes.
IF: Annoyance with your phone for being in the car?
Jay: Yes.
IF: Or for the guy who left it in the car.
Jay: Oh you’re a fucking psychologist now?
IF: I think I’m on to something.
Jay: Or just ON something.
IF: Not like anyone is gonna call you anyway.
Jay: Fuck you.
IF: Ohhh … someone’s kinda touchy.
Jay: It’s time for you to go away.
IF: I don’t think so.
Jay: Oh I do think so cause I’m about to actually get angry.
IF: We’ll finish this discussion when you’re being reasonable.
Jay: That’ll be next NEVER.
IF: Fine. I’ll leave. Hurt and upset as usual.
Jay: Whatever.
IF: By the way … You have a typo right there *points at screen*
Jay: OHGODDAMNMOTHERFUCKINGASSHOLEBULLSHITFUCKER!
IF: OMG! What?
Jay: I left my phone in my car.
IF: See? That’s what I’m talking about!
Jay: What?
IF: There’s no reason to get all angry.
Jay: I’m not.
IF: There’s no reason to use that language.
Jay: Sure there. I need to express my annoyance sometimes.
IF: Annoyance with your phone for being in the car?
Jay: Yes.
IF: Or for the guy who left it in the car.
Jay: Oh you’re a fucking psychologist now?
IF: I think I’m on to something.
Jay: Or just ON something.
IF: Not like anyone is gonna call you anyway.
Jay: Fuck you.
IF: Ohhh … someone’s kinda touchy.
Jay: It’s time for you to go away.
IF: I don’t think so.
Jay: Oh I do think so cause I’m about to actually get angry.
IF: We’ll finish this discussion when you’re being reasonable.
Jay: That’ll be next NEVER.
IF: Fine. I’ll leave. Hurt and upset as usual.
Jay: Whatever.
IF: By the way … You have a typo right there *points at screen*
Jay: OHGODDAMNMOTHERFUCKINGASSHOLEBULLSHITFUCKER!
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Posted by: Tukiyooo
Jay's Imaginary Friend Returns Updated at :
9:00 PM
Monday, March 4, 2013
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