Matt whimpers…Jay moans…You get their assisted living rooms ready.
Matt: Hellooooo?
Jay: Wait a minute…(garbled noise) (more garbled noise) Okay…Hi.
Matt: What the hell were you doing? Stuffing a dead hooker in your fridge?
Jay: I was tryi----
Matt: Hold on…my boss is calling me, I’ll you alert as to when he is done.
Jay: Okay.
(five minutes pass, Jay calls back)
Matt: Howdy.
Jay: Could you answer your damn phone?
Matt: I just did.
Jay: I mean on the first ring.
Matt: Hell no…I’m old, and my kidneys hurt. Takes me awhile to get to it.
Jay: Alright.
Matt: How’s your back?
Jay: It has felt like shit since I put together that table this week.
Matt: Whatafuckingshame…What are we going to talk about on Saturday’s show?
Jay: I was going to ask you.
Matt: Well…I had two thoughts.
Jay: Wow, that’s impressive…and unprecedented.
Matt: Cute…Either, Open Phone Line Saturday, or a President’s Day show type thing and...
Jay: Giving up Rose and Steel Reserve has made you more lucid, but I dunno, those ideas seem a bit….
Matt: Orrrrrr…We could talk about guys who are afraid to give up Pepsi for Lent.
Jay: I loooooove the Open Phone Line Saturday idea.
Matt: Yeah. I mean the President’s Day thing would be good, but…
Jay: But who really cares?
Matt: Exactly…we want numbers and ratings.
Jay: Damn right, we’re not beneath putting quantity before quality.
Matt: Never have been.
Jay: Never will.
Matt: We can encourage listeners to call-in and get whatever is on their chest, off their chest.
Jay: They could speak their mind about the Russian meteor, Chuck Hagel, or the State of the Union.
Matt: They could chime in on Oscar Pistorius the legless sprinter who killed his girlfriend.
Jay: Frankly, I am stumped as to why he did that.
Matt: IKR?
Jay: We could open up the phone lines for opinions on Christopher Dorner, and what constitutes a cabin.
Matt: Excellent!! We could also talk about the fact that today is Singles Awareness Day.
Jay: It’s what? Sing---?
Matt: Singles Awareness Day. After Valentine’s Day, single people have their special day.
Jay: Oh wow…I didn't know that.
Matt: Well now you do, so I guess in this case, an “Awareness Day” actually worked.
Jay: How ‘bout that? Fascinating. I’ll make sure to nuke a special Hormel Meal for One today.
Matt: So I guess we’re set. Hope the listeners support our efforts and call-in, but if not…
Jay: If not, we have plenty of magic with which to work our speculative comedy.
Matt: Alrighty then. I will see you on the air at 11 PM ET tonight!!
Jay: Yep…Provided my back doesn't go out again.
Matt: And my kidney pain doesn't flare back up.
Jay and Matt: I think we’re ready for Open Line Saturday!!
If you’d like to listen in, and or call-in LIVE TONIGHT at 11 PM ET on the IWS Open Line Radio Show you can click right : HERE
.
.
Jay: Wait a minute…(garbled noise) (more garbled noise) Okay…Hi.
Matt: What the hell were you doing? Stuffing a dead hooker in your fridge?
Jay: I was tryi----
Matt: Hold on…my boss is calling me, I’ll you alert as to when he is done.
Jay: Okay.
(five minutes pass, Jay calls back)
Matt: Howdy.
Jay: Could you answer your damn phone?
Matt: I just did.
Jay: I mean on the first ring.
Matt: Hell no…I’m old, and my kidneys hurt. Takes me awhile to get to it.
Jay: Alright.
Matt: How’s your back?
Jay: It has felt like shit since I put together that table this week.
Matt: Whatafuckingshame…What are we going to talk about on Saturday’s show?
Jay: I was going to ask you.
Matt: Well…I had two thoughts.
Jay: Wow, that’s impressive…and unprecedented.
Matt: Cute…Either, Open Phone Line Saturday, or a President’s Day show type thing and...
Jay: Giving up Rose and Steel Reserve has made you more lucid, but I dunno, those ideas seem a bit….
Matt: Orrrrrr…We could talk about guys who are afraid to give up Pepsi for Lent.
Jay: I loooooove the Open Phone Line Saturday idea.
Matt: Yeah. I mean the President’s Day thing would be good, but…
Jay: But who really cares?
Matt: Exactly…we want numbers and ratings.
Jay: Damn right, we’re not beneath putting quantity before quality.
Matt: Never have been.
Jay: Never will.
Matt: We can encourage listeners to call-in and get whatever is on their chest, off their chest.
Jay: They could speak their mind about the Russian meteor, Chuck Hagel, or the State of the Union.
Matt: They could chime in on Oscar Pistorius the legless sprinter who killed his girlfriend.Jay: Frankly, I am stumped as to why he did that.
Matt: IKR?
Jay: We could open up the phone lines for opinions on Christopher Dorner, and what constitutes a cabin.
Matt: Excellent!! We could also talk about the fact that today is Singles Awareness Day.
Jay: It’s what? Sing---?
Matt: Singles Awareness Day. After Valentine’s Day, single people have their special day.
Jay: Oh wow…I didn't know that.
Matt: Well now you do, so I guess in this case, an “Awareness Day” actually worked.
Jay: How ‘bout that? Fascinating. I’ll make sure to nuke a special Hormel Meal for One today.
Matt: So I guess we’re set. Hope the listeners support our efforts and call-in, but if not…
Jay: If not, we have plenty of magic with which to work our speculative comedy.
Matt: Alrighty then. I will see you on the air at 11 PM ET tonight!!
Jay: Yep…Provided my back doesn't go out again.
Matt: And my kidney pain doesn't flare back up.
Jay and Matt: I think we’re ready for Open Line Saturday!!
If you’d like to listen in, and or call-in LIVE TONIGHT at 11 PM ET on the IWS Open Line Radio Show you can click right : HERE
.
.
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Matt Said, Jay Said 21613 Updated at :
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Friday, February 15, 2013
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