Hola y’all! Man, I don’t know why everything has to be such a hassle. You might remember the ridiculous effort it took to just change out a burned-out tail light back in the summer on my car? Well, that thing is at it again, causing trouble. Now it’s the windshield wipers. What could be more basic than that, right? WRONG! You can’t just use ANY wipers. Oh no! The driver’s side gets a different size than the passenger’s side and apparently not too many people make any that will fit.
My plan is to try and find just the blades and see if I can rip the old ones out (they’re already ripped anyway) and then slide new ones in. But, we all know I’m going to end up having to get the expensive shit and use some stupid adapter to make them fit. Why do car companies do this? Can we drop another atomic bomb on Japan to make me feel better? Please?
It’s always the little things isn’t it? When big things happen, you just sit back, take it all in and then figure out how to deal with it and move forward. But, the little things? Things that should only take a few minutes out of your day and be simple that turn into huge half-day efforts full of running all over town and getting dirty? That’s when you have to keep your cool.
I really should work on that. Maybe I’ll make that my New Year’s Resolution. Or not. I can’t be bothered by shit like that right now, I’m too focused on getting ready for my big trip.
Shit. You know what? This is the worst blog post I’ve ever done. And that’s saying something too cause I’ve done some stinkers. I’m talking about my windshield wipers like y’all give a crap. I’m sure each of you are on the edge of your seat saying “Damn! Which company still makes wipers that fit your car? Hope it’s not Rain-X cause that’s some expensive shit right there. I know it isn’t Bosch cause they never make anything anyone needs. Or something. I don’t really know, I just read it on the internet.”
Yeah well, EXCUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEE MEEEEEEEE! I live a very quiet and boring life. The only exciting thing that happened to me all year was when my apartment building nearly burned to the ground a couple of weeks ago.
I was originally going to outline my reasons for wanting Arkansas to secede from the union, but I don’t really have any. I mean, what would Arkansas do as an independent country? We can’t even field a decent football team. Our state army would get its ass kicked so fast it wouldn’t even be funny. Probably by Louisiana as they seem like the mostly likely to start some shit with other states that have seceded and are giving it a go as an independent nation. Then Louisiana would control our precious rice fields and they would get to export the rice to Asia and make all that money. Fuck that.
Unless we entered into some kind of alliance with Texas and they agreed to whip up on anyone who messed with us. That would be a pretty sweet deal. They probably wouldn’t do it. Texas wouldn’t get anything good out of it. What could we offer them? Not a damn thing. So, that whole secession idea sucks.
Oh hey! I’m closing in on 600 words. That means it’s time to wrap it up. You never want a blog post to be too long because people have really short attention spans. I mean, people are busy. Yeah, that’s it.
So what have we learned today kids? My car needs wiper blades that aren’t easy to find, little things get annoying really fast and Arkansas wouldn’t last two days as an independent nation. I’m pretty sure none of that shit matters to you, but there you go.
Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS
Be sure to check out the I'm With Stupid show! We're hilarious!
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Posted by: Tukiyooo
The Worst Blog Post Ever Updated at :
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Wednesday, November 14, 2012
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