I've lived in the DC area for the past 5 1/2 years. I hate it here. I have hated it here for 4 1/2 of those years. The basic reason why I hate it is that I'm not a city person. I enjoy smaller towns and smaller cities and the slower way of life. Of course, it goes much deeper than this but that is the gist.
The only thing that has kept me here so long is my relationship with Joel. We began dating after I had lived here for just a year. Joel also grew up in a suburb of the city, so he isn't much bothered by this way of life. However, I've been wanting to leave badly since about the last 3 years. It never seems to be the right time to make the move though. There is always some excuse as to why we need to continue living here longer.
Today that excuse is the wedding - we have to stay in the area for at least another year and a half in order to pay for it. While October is less than a year away, our lease is up June 2012, and it's hard to find a place that will allow a 6 month lease (for a reasonable price). Plus neither one of us want to move AGAIN just for 6 months to then move again (I have a hate HATE relationship with moving - I've moved 12 times in the last 10 years.)
So... with every "new year" that rolls around, it's another reminder that I'm still not in the place in my life that I'd like to be. I cannot bear the thought of having to live here and work in my current job (which is another thing I strongly dislike) for another year and a half. Believe me, my hatred and sadness go very deep with this place. I'm actually to the point where I don't even like going on out of town trips because I cannot deal with how sad I am when we return... and the sadness goes on for days afterward.
Joel and I have discussed some options:
Option 1 - Stay
We'll stay the year and a half and then plan to move in June 2013. That way we will be able to afford the wedding that we both would like to have. This also means that I will be stuck working at my current job for the next year and a half and living in this area that I hate. This also means that Joel will put his career plans on hold as well. He wants to be a police officer and doesn't want to apply to places locally if we're just going to move in a year and a half. He's not getting any younger. I'm not getting any younger... and the thought of trying to muddle through another year here makes my heart hurt.
Option 2 - Leave
We would make it our goal to have jobs by June 2012, and move out of the area. This is where it becomes complicated with the wedding part. I know that the places we are considering moving to will not provide me with a job where I am making anywhere close to what I make now. That means we won't be able to pay for the wedding that we are currently planning, which means we'd have to try to plan something else. Perhaps we would then have to have a very small ceremony within the next 3-4 months and that would be it. It would be small because we just don't have the money saved right now to afford the same size wedding in 3-4 months that we are planning for October. This isn't what I really want for our wedding, mainly because I really want to have a considerable amount of weight off before the planned October wedding. There's no way I can drop 60 lbs in 3-4 months.. at least not in a healthy way. I don't really want to wait until after we've moved to start wedding planning either. It's been hard enough to secure a wedding site looking 11 months in advance of a wedding, much less 4-5 months in advance of one. We want to be married in 2012... preferably on or before October 6.
Ugh... it's just not so cut and dry as you can see. Life never is, this I know. Joel is leaning strongly toward Option 1, and I am stuck between the 2. As I said early on, there are always excuses as to why we cannot move. What will happen in a year and a half? What will be the excuse then? I also think of it like this: we only get to do life one time. Why waste it being miserable? Weddings are really supposed to be about God and two becoming one, and all the religious aspects (at least this is how I feel)... not about a big lavish affair.
So I need your advice. Have you been in a similar situation? What would you do? Please, PLEASE I welcome any advice you have!!
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Posted by: Tukiyooo
Needing Advice Updated at :
4:59 AM
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
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