About last night...

<div align="center">The bewitching hour came around 10pm and as usual, I lost all control. Another day down the tubes. Perfect all day, a great workout in the morning, healthy food in modest portions all day, then at 10pm I was stuffing my face with sugar-free ice cream (I must stop buying this stuff) and pecans (yes, on the ice cream).<br /><br />Tonight was the same dance. My food of choice was Weight Watcher's 1-point caramel snack bars, about ten of them. They don't even taste that good.<br /><br />What the hell is wrong with me?<br /><br />There are a few things different in my life right now that are causing a ton of stress. My job is killing me. I'm angry about a work situation, and I just can't seem to let go of it. I'm struggling with a co-worker that I work very closely with on a daily basis. It's a long, tedious story but basically every day I'm trying to maintain my sanity (and as you can tell, I'm losing that battle).<br /><br />If there was a way out, I'd take it. In this economy that's really not even an option so I have to grin and bear it. This is the worst of times in my job, and I've been through some difficult situations in almost 26 years at this company. This one is one of the most unpleasant I've had to endure.<br /><br />The other thing is my marriage. It's another daily struggle. Tomorrow is our 21st wedding anniversary, and I don't know if we'll make it to year 22. We're fighting, arguing, bickering and generally not getting along. Neither one of us is happy. I really I don't know how to fix it.<br /><br />Right now, I don't know how to fix anything. It all seems so...hopeless.<br /><br /><strong>About the laptop</strong><br />Okay, I'm really loving this sweet little laptop. It's a Toshiba E105-S1602 and was only $799 (but I got $130 discount). It's so awesome. 2.0 Ghz, 4 GB RAM, 500 GB Hard Drive. My most favorite feature is the backlit keys so you can watch TV with the lights off and the keys are lit. It's also super fast. My old laptop that I bought almost five years ago was $2,800. This is ten times the machine than that one was, for a fraction of the cost. Amazing.<br /><br />I was leaning towards the Sony VAIO but the one for the same price as this Toshiba was a stripped down version. To get all the stuff that's on the Toshiba in the Sony was about another $1,000. Not worth it for the Sony name and looks (although, that VAIO sure is pretty).<br /><br />I've already called the Toshiba Help Center and they were great. They're in India, but they all are these days. The tech was super helpful. I accidentally turned of Vista's flash card for the function key and the backlit keys. The guy walked me through what to do and now it's working again. I'm new to Vista so I'm learning (and kind of hating it).<br /><br />So far (only about 24 hours), I'm loving this laptop.<br /><br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />I've taken over 1,000 pictures in the last month. Here are just a few:<br /><br />Picking blueberries in Fairbanks with my favorite nephew<br /></div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2ejnCDPe1AEh33WOorfZJeMLWASnUrez6s23DDlbQcB0510hkDqzwmyeiSph98wSij_Ana9sfmKRQYlVeEr0BkeEnDg4ETDTjqw8baZPdNsRJqmKFLvptGx0S_b3-FwE51U_TWeFj9WeZ/s1600-h/Blueberry+picking.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371556893924562434" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2ejnCDPe1AEh33WOorfZJeMLWASnUrez6s23DDlbQcB0510hkDqzwmyeiSph98wSij_Ana9sfmKRQYlVeEr0BkeEnDg4ETDTjqw8baZPdNsRJqmKFLvptGx0S_b3-FwE51U_TWeFj9WeZ/s400/Blueberry+picking.jpg" style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" /></a> </p><p align="center">For sale in Nenana for $2.000<br /></p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiea6lm4KVuH43RaG_BiDejUKsfLOhuUl2O6FGS6XD4ZtOVqD_BtfOtxK9KfuDXiQv7G_FUuo52f_zXXU8F4Xl1CbuG0r5PK7oslXf5rYRUcMhIv2Ll3mbMYhpqrH0abWOqK4BVj_i1niaD/s1600-h/2000.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371556631631450722" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiea6lm4KVuH43RaG_BiDejUKsfLOhuUl2O6FGS6XD4ZtOVqD_BtfOtxK9KfuDXiQv7G_FUuo52f_zXXU8F4Xl1CbuG0r5PK7oslXf5rYRUcMhIv2Ll3mbMYhpqrH0abWOqK4BVj_i1niaD/s400/2000.jpg" style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" /></a> </p><p align="center">Smoked salmon caught in an Athabascan fishwheel in Nenana<br /></p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLr93nyg1yBBCW5fuvgHogJf5YLZaFE0o4SfW5l2KHEyyBP-8j88HRLhexikU9RZxW8-K_92a8OsPG6PdRcaQG8wpcafE8cq3R5Nl1bS8cYjAwIpJeiylT3-JoajGMskaPXqp3V8yQl35e/s1600-h/Smoked+salmon.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371556434786174994" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLr93nyg1yBBCW5fuvgHogJf5YLZaFE0o4SfW5l2KHEyyBP-8j88HRLhexikU9RZxW8-K_92a8OsPG6PdRcaQG8wpcafE8cq3R5Nl1bS8cYjAwIpJeiylT3-JoajGMskaPXqp3V8yQl35e/s400/Smoked+salmon.jpg" style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" /></a> </p><p align="center">A typical home in Nenana - this belongs to the rich guy in town - thus the sign above the door<br /></p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5w8tU5GGhgflOKFFXDTLSHpu6NaQ074N6fgSmAIPUPWpKPJ80ddLk1YnukBUbb1vEhOH-JF7iJtdKv2M-Zu76q7tyXUO4JToHUGC9bhgw7S7tqvhR7ql6wal5cJ-zT4o1BUQCISXjQMN0/s1600-h/Nenana+Home.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371556180222288498" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5w8tU5GGhgflOKFFXDTLSHpu6NaQ074N6fgSmAIPUPWpKPJ80ddLk1YnukBUbb1vEhOH-JF7iJtdKv2M-Zu76q7tyXUO4JToHUGC9bhgw7S7tqvhR7ql6wal5cJ-zT4o1BUQCISXjQMN0/s400/Nenana+Home.jpg" style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" /></a> </p><p align="center">Guns for sale in the local grocery store in Nenana - not even locked up<br /></p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglJ3Tk75RqqowEl3kW4KziXLxGbBpYj7UT_IuU2lEMEx1gpyDNzGsU3WbERnrj-GSQ5JCwEzu1SPbhlgVGfj3En0ILyvbQYYc2TRnsOG7Yy60N8Kc1ZoK4lUnQd8i1iwLfMpfpeoCiQyA5/s1600-h/Guns.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371556005901732674" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglJ3Tk75RqqowEl3kW4KziXLxGbBpYj7UT_IuU2lEMEx1gpyDNzGsU3WbERnrj-GSQ5JCwEzu1SPbhlgVGfj3En0ILyvbQYYc2TRnsOG7Yy60N8Kc1ZoK4lUnQd8i1iwLfMpfpeoCiQyA5/s400/Guns.jpg" style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" /></a> </p><p align="center">Nenana cemetery - I have a thing for cemeteries - long story but they fascinate me<br /></p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimdswKP2z-J-7qV0fLnEmPpHjJPefEh7qxMZ0LdAyWsDNTBFob6tDU4PuklQvq-Fsc7TkpS4-McPQh2obQLaiGvC72Vc3aySPMflk9hBkFobljmhN2tIXk7ZHDa1Kz8ZCPD6R_vi4vEESH/s1600-h/Nenana+Cemetery+2.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371555853761677474" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimdswKP2z-J-7qV0fLnEmPpHjJPefEh7qxMZ0LdAyWsDNTBFob6tDU4PuklQvq-Fsc7TkpS4-McPQh2obQLaiGvC72Vc3aySPMflk9hBkFobljmhN2tIXk7ZHDa1Kz8ZCPD6R_vi4vEESH/s400/Nenana+Cemetery+2.jpg" style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" /></a> </p><p align="center">Nenana cemetery with a view<br /></p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjMaxv7b5IBXALlyeS5RjW0LAlb4EWAfB96zU-vWudhQzxJwx1zrNeqa4u1ODGX8IO9xD8PkZBDimMYWUp5z_Ss78YlZXYfUqg336EmBqfCfd4KwMHPFtZZWtbkQhpkUYgig3a4u3iR-99/s1600-h/Nenana+Cemetery.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371555654171405890" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjMaxv7b5IBXALlyeS5RjW0LAlb4EWAfB96zU-vWudhQzxJwx1zrNeqa4u1ODGX8IO9xD8PkZBDimMYWUp5z_Ss78YlZXYfUqg336EmBqfCfd4KwMHPFtZZWtbkQhpkUYgig3a4u3iR-99/s400/Nenana+Cemetery.jpg" style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" /></a> </p><p align="center">My brother and me, with his dog Goldie...yes, a big Alaskan macho dog...a Pekingnese :)<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU8TwLO3EUBk9VTb93rWvfXcx5XugWS_aCWAmZlXZ9QPRdUvk2LWoS-_n_cQ_8eAIVTo6xKKWDNadU_5H0qj030BVYWcI3jffQP42AhInmypi35YVaMEA6jEc0XJjGIZMFGNp3kfyUlxRb/s1600-h/Gerald+and+Diana.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371555451421493154" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU8TwLO3EUBk9VTb93rWvfXcx5XugWS_aCWAmZlXZ9QPRdUvk2LWoS-_n_cQ_8eAIVTo6xKKWDNadU_5H0qj030BVYWcI3jffQP42AhInmypi35YVaMEA6jEc0XJjGIZMFGNp3kfyUlxRb/s400/Gerald+and+Diana.jpg" style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" /></a> </p>

About last night...

The bewitching hour came around 10pm and as usual, I lost all control. Another day down the tubes. Perfect all day, a great workout in the morning, healthy food in modest portions all day, then at 10pm I was stuffing my face with sugar-free ice cream…

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