Hallo. Dr. Rajiv Rawalpindi here wishing you all a morning of goodness, satisfaction, and Egg McMuffins.
I am the official physician for the IWS Radio team.
I am proffered for your acceptance from New Delhi via the University of Bombay, the Ohio State University of the Medical Arts, and an ill-gotten F-1 Student Visa from my Mexican doctor friend, Paco.
Say what you will, but trust me now, and regret me later…I know my medicinal arts.
I have treated the Matt-Man for gonorrhea. I have treated Jayman for shingles. I have treated many of you, their reading and listening audience, for bad taste.
My scope of practionocity is extremely limited and unvisible. I am the Uber-Doctor, and?
The only thing that I have, that is more huger than my ego is the amount of malpractice insurance that I carry, because if I mishappenly perform a spinal tap on your vagina, I want you to cognizate that you would be duly compentrated for the pain and great cardio woefulness that I may or may not have persisted on you.
And your vagina.
I am currently praticinating and serving umbrage at the Ohio State Medical Center, and am having the glorious ability to treat one friend of IWS, Schmoop.
After parlaying my knowing eye upon her for a day or so, I know one thing to be true.
The Bitch is Yellow.
And here is where my medicinal expertise carry forth.
Is she Chinese yellow? Is she Korean yellow, or….and I have a hunchback, is she Laotian yellow!?
Bringo!! Yes her is!!
Uh-huh…I uttered that!! Bitch is suffering from Laotian Disease.
She been resting here most gingerly for one half less than two days, so on this 24 hour period I shall run some exams in order to confirminate my diagnostics.
Laotian Disease is not what you Americans call, “attractive.”
Sure, when one contracts it, and is merely bespeckled in a yellow hue, it is manageable, however…
If left un-deblemished, the patient will begin to quote Mao, develop a taste for fetid water, and go see my colleague Paco for a passport so he or she can go to Vientiane in utmost hope of securing job sewing American flags and sweat socks at twenty-two cents a day.
I know that October is Breast Cancer Awareness 30 Day Period, but I think it is time that we regale some time to Laotian Disease.
Schmoop has it. I’m on it, and in the finality…Something good will come of it…Probably.
With the Utmost Sincerity and Wishing you a Great Harvest and Three Cows,Dr. Rajiv RawalpindiAnd in other news….Yesterday on IWS Radio, Jay and Matt discussed the medical field as our buddy Schmoop lies in Columbus, Ohio sick and suffering.
If you missed it, you can catch it all right here…
Cheers,
Matt-Man
mattmaniws@ymail.com