Bad Fortune Cookie Messages

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Hola y’all! Do you love Chinese food? Of course you do. Everyone does! Well, except me. I know that you’re surprised by that what with my love of Asian babes and all. I’m just weird that way, I guess. Anyway, I do love Fortune Cookies though, even if they are kind of hokey. So, here are some messages you aren’t likely to get in your Fortune Cookies next time you hit the Chinese Buffett.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxg6ojhTrMxVzlwpj-9SYpsGX0w5ny652TZngvFbBL57A3TYcrzXkZ2ZObwzP2xyCYcJ-hFW71rY8ceNlbPmqYTrKHWpL_Ml4ZGrSXMrlHsFN8jA3qHOFv8QmUa5trm0XGa4ebB2FCAso/s1600/Zhang-Ziyi-Hot-Asian-Babe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxg6ojhTrMxVzlwpj-9SYpsGX0w5ny652TZngvFbBL57A3TYcrzXkZ2ZObwzP2xyCYcJ-hFW71rY8ceNlbPmqYTrKHWpL_Ml4ZGrSXMrlHsFN8jA3qHOFv8QmUa5trm0XGa4ebB2FCAso/s400/Zhang-Ziyi-Hot-Asian-Babe.jpg" width="290" /></a></div>“Do you really believe this shit?”<br /><br />“Bet you wish you had done Mexican instead, huh?” <br /><br />“All previous fortunes are now invalid. Sorry about that.” <br /><br />“You’re probably gonna die alone.” <br /><br />“It’s okay to act out your homoerotic dreams.” <br /><br />“There’s someone hiding in your bedroom closet.” <br /><br />“Your partner will bring you a surprise that you can treat with antibiotics.”<br /><br />“Don’t watch that new show ‘Nashville’ on ABC. It’s gonna suck.” <br /><br />“Those weren’t raisins.” <br /><br />“The cook with the long hair and dozens of tats and piercings? Yeah, he has TB.” <br /><br />“That guy you think is your brother is really your father.” <br /><br />“You will live downstairs from a sexual deviant with bad taste in music.” <br /><br />“Creepy guys will sniff you in the elevator.” <br /><br />“You have 20 minutes to get home before the cramps start.”<br /><br />“I bet you were going to put a pic of this on Instagram, weren’t you?” <br /><br />“Listen to I’m With Stupid every Wed at 11 am ET and Sun at 12 Noon ET: <a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/im-with-stupid.">www.blogtalkradio.com/im-with-stupid.</a>”<br /><br />“You should probably take it easy on the Crab Rangoon big boy.” <br /><br />“Your mother never really loved you.”<br /><br />“99% of your Facebook ‘friends’ hate you.” <br /><br /><br />Okay, there you go. That’s way better than all the silly “You will meet a mysterious stranger” stuff you usually get! <br /><br />Jayman<br /><a href="mailto:Jayman3768@gmail.com">Jayman3768@gmail.com</a><br /><a href="http://www.twitter.com/jayman_iws">@Jayman_IWS </a><br /><br />In other news we welcomed the lovely and hilarious Missy to IWS today and she did NOT disappoint! She told us about all the weird and wacky things that have happened to her over the years. So definitely check this show out! <br /><br /><object classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.adobe.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=9,0,0,0" height="105" id="143577" name="143577" width="210"><param name="movie" value="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/btrplayer.swf?file=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.blogtalkradio.com%2Fim-with-stupid%2F2012%2F10%2F07%2Fone-hot-miss%2Fplaylist.xml&autostart=false&bufferlength=5&volume=80&corner=rounded&callback=http://www.blogtalkradio.com/flashplayercallback.aspx" /><param name="quality" value="high" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><param name="menu" value="false" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><embed src="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/btrplayer.swf" flashvars="file=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.blogtalkradio.com%2Fim-with-stupid%2F2012%2F10%2F07%2Fone-hot-miss%2fplaylist.xml&autostart=false&shuffle=false&callback=http://www.blogtalkradio.com/FlashPlayerCallback.aspx&width=210&height=105&volume=80&corner=rounded" width="210" height="105" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" quality="high" wmode="transparent" menu="false" name="143577" id="143577" allowScriptAccess="always"></embed></object><br /><div style="font-size: 10px; text-align: center; width: 220px;">Listen to <a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/">internet radio</a> with <a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/im-with-stupid">Im With Stupid</a> on Blog Talk Radio</div><br /></div>

Bad Fortune Cookie Messages

Hola y’all! Do you love Chinese food? Of course you do. Everyone does! Well, except me. I know that you’re surprised by that what with my lo...

Read more »