I'm struggling a bit with right vs wrong and gray areas I didn't know existed.
Wrong is easy. Between the laws and the bible, wrong is well defined. Pure right, that's pretty easy too.
Other things that are right, well that's up for interpretation and the individual. Lots of the stuff we blog about, heck all of it, can be interpreted as wrong depending on your perspective.
People have things in common, things that form the bond between you and your spouse/partner. The things that drew you into each other's spell and the reasons why you wake up in love each day. My husband and I are soul mates and best friends. Even though we drive each other to tears, it still comes down to love.
Everybody has personal hobbies or interests outside of the marriage. Things that our spouses don't share an interest in, or perhaps it's just more fun with someone else. My husband and I certainly do. It's what makes each person an individual.
What happens when one partner wants companionship in an interest? Either that person remains unfulfilled forever or else that person wants to connect with others who share a similar interest.
What happens when an interest is something that probably belongs within the marriage, but it can't? And what if said interests aren't so vanilla? Things that would be right and wonderful for the two of us to share but there's always that resounding no... sometimes it's accompanied with concerns about being brainwashed or mentally unstable.
I'm allowed to have friends, both IRL and online. I'm allowed to do as I please. I don't announce exactly who my friends are or precisely what we talk about. I'm always honest if asked and have no reason not to be. It's just that checking in isn't a part of our relationship.
He knows I have a blog, never seen it and he doesn't want to. He knows y'all get me through tougher times, both directly through the blog and then also more personal communication outside of it. He knows there are blog friends who eventually permeate the barriers and become more real. And he knows how deeply personal this is. He knows I'm sharing things he's not interested in hearing about. He knows most of you are women, but some are men. He hasn't expressed any inkling of concern about this, nor have I ever given reason for concern.
But herein lies a gray area I didn't know existed. One side of me is questioning whether it fair or right for me to have close friendships and deep conversations about these interests when I've been told I can't have them at home. The other side of me says its perfectly innocent (despite subject matter), I'm a grown woman, and I can be friends with who I want.
And these are rhetorical questions by the way. I'm not sure why I'm even putting this on here. Probably end up deleting it anyway...
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Posted by: Tukiyooo
Pondering thoughts Updated at :
11:19 AM
Monday, September 9, 2013
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