Could we be any more different?

My choice, 9/15/2009, and he's going with me.<br /><br /><object height="315" width="500"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/9PQ9Eysvaes&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f&border=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/9PQ9Eysvaes&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="500" height="315"></embed></object><br /><br />His choice, 9/24/2009, and I have to go with him. I just hope I can stay awake. God help me.<br /><br /><object height="285" width="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/B138dl-ClSk&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6&border=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/B138dl-ClSk&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="340" height="285"></embed></object>

Could we be any more different?

My choice, 9/15/2009, and he's going with me. His choice, 9/24/2009, and I have to go with him. I just hope I can stay awake. God help me.

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New Boss? 5 Ways to Adjust

<a href="http://emj.icbdr.com/artieimages/bz/ar5c6l96w1jdjfybk2bz.gif"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://emj.icbdr.com/artieimages/bz/ar5c6l96w1jdjfybk2bz.gif" style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: hand" /></a><br /><div>These days, there is a lot of upheaval in the workplace. Be it layoffs, reorganization or people taking other positions, there's a good chance you may be reporting to a different person than you were just a few months ago. The relationship with your supervisor can have a great impact on your career, so starting off on the right foot with a new boss is critical. Following are a few tips for doing so:<br /><br />1. Help out where you can.<br />Starting a new position is challenging for everyone, even your boss. Remember what it was like when you were a new employee, including the times you could have used someone's help. Discuss any pending projects and who is currently responsible for those initiatives. Also provide visibility into any upcoming deadlines.<br /><br />2. Remain flexible.<br />Your new boss will have his or her own ideas of how to run the office and accomplish team goals, and you should be ready for the possibility that some of those ideas may conflict with your own. But keep an open mind; different doesn't mean worse. Be willing to try new approaches.<br /><br />3. Aim to be a go-to person.<br />Your new supervisor will face many challenges in the first few months, so he or she will be looking for employees who can help pick up the slack. Let your manager know what you've accomplished in the past and what skills you possess, and offer to be a resource on future projects. Be sure to mention talents that might fall outside your job description, such as your familiarity with a new software program. The more you can contribute, the more valuable you'll be considered by your employer. Just don't go overboard, or others, including the new manager, may perceive you as currying favor.<br /><br />4. Remember that patience is a virtue.<br />You likely took a few months to feel comfortable when you started your job, so it's safe to assume the same will be true for your manager. For instance, if your boss wants you to provide twice-weekly updates, it's probably not because he or she doesn't trust that you're getting your work done. Instead, your supervisor likely wants to make sure he or she doesn't let anything slip through the cracks.<br /><br />5. Pay attention.<br />Get a feel for how your boss works. Does your manager want to be in the loop on each and every project, or does your boss have a more hands-off approach? What is his or her preferred method of communication? When is it best for approach your supervisor with non-pressing requests? These questions may not be answered immediately, but by paying attention to your boss's tendencies and preferences, you'll form a productive relationship more quickly.<br /><br />Remember, not only are you getting used to your new manager, but he or she is also getting used to you and, in many cases, a new work environment. So, don't be surprised if both of you have your fair share of growing pains. Being empathetic to your supervisor's experience will go a long way in developing a strong working relationship with him or her.<br /><br />Robert Half International Inc. is the world's first and largest specialized staffing firm with a global network of more than 360 offices worldwide. For more information about our professional services, please visit www.rhi.com. </div><div> </div><div><strong><span style="font-size:180%;">Search more than 100,000 Jobs by </span></strong><a href="http://jobs.careerbuilder.com/JobSeeker/Jobs/JobResults.aspx?SB%3Asbkw=&SB%3As_freeloc=&SB%3Asbfr=30&sbsbmt=Find+Jobs+%C2%BB&lr=cbrockl&cid=US&excrit=QID%3DA3852768340946%3Bst%3DA%3Buse%3DALL%3BCID%3DUS%3BSID%3D%3F%3BTID%3D0%3BENR%3DNO%3BDTP%3DDRNS%3BYDI%3DYES%3BIND%3DALL%3BPDQ%3DAll%3BPDQ%3DAll%3BPAYL%3D0%3BPAYH%3DGT120%3BPOY%3DNO%3BETD%3DALL%3BRE%3DALL%3BMGT%3DDC%3BSUP%3DDC%3BFRE%3D1%3BCHL%3DAL%3BQS%3DSID_UNKNOWN%3BSS%3DNO%3BTITL%3D0%3BOB%3D-modifiedint%3BJQT%3DRAD%3BJDV%3DFalse&IPath=ILM"><strong><span style="font-size:180%;">CLICKING HERE!</span></strong></a> </div>

New Boss? 5 Ways to Adjust

These days, there is a lot of upheaval in the workplace. Be it layoffs, reorganization or people taking other positions, there's a good ...

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Sacrificing Love for Work

<a href="http://emj.icbdr.com/artieimages/38/ar5c4n96f1w5n93vpw38.gif"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://emj.icbdr.com/artieimages/38/ar5c4n96f1w5n93vpw38.gif" style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: hand" /></a><br /><div>On the most recent season of "The Bachelorette," contestant Ed Swiderski told bachelorette Jillian Harris that he wasn't being fair to his employer in Chicago and that he had to leave her and go home. Jillian made Ed promise that when he did find "the one," he wouldn't choose work over love.<br /><br />Ed ultimately took her request to heart. A few weeks later, he returned to the show, telling Jillian he realized he didn't want to be without her. She took him back and the pair ended up getting engaged.<br /><br />Ed was faced with a decision that many workers experience: Go for a shot at love and lose your job -- or stay employed and kiss your career goodbye?<br /><br />The choice between a successful career and love is not always clear cut. Personal goals, current job satisfaction, financial needs and personal beliefs can all play in role in the decision. But, it doesn't have to be as hard as some people make it.<br /><br />"People keep getting stuck in all-or-nothing thinking. They think it is either work or a relationship, but life is more than both. Workers need to change their thinking to look for alternatives," says Kim Leatherdale, a relationship therapist. "Although no one worker is irreplaceable, a good relationship can be. People get focused on relationships or work and forget they can have both if they choose to."<br /><br />Susan Cucuzza, an HR consultant with Live Forward, faced this issue when she first met her now-husband. While they dated, his job required him to travel Monday through Friday, which made their relationship very difficult.<br /><br />"I think I 'broke up' with him about five times while we dated," Cucuzza recalls. "We both lived in Cleveland and he traveled to Detroit. He worked 16 to 18 hour days, so by the time he called me, it was midnight and he was exhausted. I realized that if I loved this man and wanted to marry him, I needed to move to Detroit."<br /><br />Fortunately for Cucuzza, she was able to transfer offices with her company, which meant she did not have to sacrifice her career. But, if she wouldn't have had that option, she says she would have made the same choice.<br /><br />"I would have quit because I did not want to sacrifice a relationship that I had waited 34 years for," she says. "Life is too short. Relationships can last a lifetime and a career does not. From the time you start working, assess your top values in life, and do not compromise them."<br /><br />Love and careers go hand in hand<br /><br />Whether or not to put love or a career in front of the other is personal preference and each has its own benefits and consequences. But, Leatherdale says that relationships and careers often feed off each other. For example, some workers might be so focused on advancing his or her career that they end up stealing time from their relationship. But, a good relationship can actually be a boon to work, she says, providing support, steadiness and insight.<br /><br />Cathy Wilke, a life coach, agrees, saying that a good romantic relationship outside of work feeds our work life and everything else we do.<br /><br />"A loving, supportive relationship -- if you are lucky enough to have one -- is akin to emotional bedrock. Being loved and supported emotionally enables us to thrive," Wilke says. "While having a great career is also very important to happiness, the career without the relationship often leaves one feeling like something is missing from life. We are social animals and work can only fulfill so much of that need."<br /><br />Balancing act<br /><br />The key to this whole dilemma is not making the choice between a career and a relationship, but finding a way to better balance the two.<br /><br />"Too many people confuse static balance with what we really live: a dynamic life. Sometimes we spend more time with one thing or another, where the finesse has to occur in knowing when to switch focus," Leatherdale says. "If you have a major work project which will take extra time, tell your partner and make a decision of how long you will allow yourself to be overextended. While you are involved with the project, take small moments to do something loving in order to remain intimate. This can be simply a small note before you leave in the morning or calling when you have a few moments during the day."<br /><br />Here are five tips from the experts on how to successfully balance work with your relationship:<br /><br />1. Treat your partner like a partner<br /><br />Talk with them, keep them abreast of what is going on and let them know when you need a little extra focus at work, Leatherdale says. And, remember love. "If you truly care about your partner, you will take time regularly to make sure you aren't taking them for granted."<br /><br />2. Coffee talk<br /><br />"Choose one weekday morning to get up early and have coffee together before going to the office," Wilke says. "This is great thing to do because rather than getting each other's sloppy seconds; you're fresh and can spend some quality time together before work takes over."<br /><br />3. Put things into perspective<br /><br />Leatherdale says to ask yourself, "On a scale of one to 10, how much will this particular job matter in 10 years?" and "On a scale of one to 10, how much will this relationship matter to me in 10 years?" "Be real in your answers; you may surprise yourself," she says.<br /><br />4. Date night<br /><br />"Schedule one night each week for a date with your partner," Wilke says. "It doesn't have to be anything fancy, just something you both agree upon. If you can keep a standing date each week, even better."<br /><br />5. Work-free zones<br /><br />"If work must be done from home, like e-mail checking, set a specific time to do it," Wilke says. For example, no working after a certain hour or only dedicating a few hours of one weekend day to work so that the other day is a work-free zone. "When you're in the work-free zone, no thinking or talking about work!"<br /><br />By Rachel Zupek writer and blogger for CareerBuilder.com and its job blog, The Work Buzz. She researches and writes about job search strategy, career management, hiring trends and workplace issues. Follow her on Twitter: http://twitter.com/CBwriterRZ.<br /></div><br /><div><strong><span style="font-size:180%;">Search more than 100,000 Jobs by </span></strong><a href="http://jobs.careerbuilder.com/JobSeeker/Jobs/JobResults.aspx?SB%3Asbkw=&SB%3As_freeloc=&SB%3Asbfr=30&sbsbmt=Find+Jobs+%C2%BB&lr=cbrockl&cid=US&excrit=QID%3DA3852768340946%3Bst%3DA%3Buse%3DALL%3BCID%3DUS%3BSID%3D%3F%3BTID%3D0%3BENR%3DNO%3BDTP%3DDRNS%3BYDI%3DYES%3BIND%3DALL%3BPDQ%3DAll%3BPDQ%3DAll%3BPAYL%3D0%3BPAYH%3DGT120%3BPOY%3DNO%3BETD%3DALL%3BRE%3DALL%3BMGT%3DDC%3BSUP%3DDC%3BFRE%3D1%3BCHL%3DAL%3BQS%3DSID_UNKNOWN%3BSS%3DNO%3BTITL%3D0%3BOB%3D-modifiedint%3BJQT%3DRAD%3BJDV%3DFalse&IPath=ILM"><strong><span style="font-size:180%;">CLICKING HERE!</span></strong></a><strong><span style="font-size:180%;"> </span></strong></div>

Sacrificing Love for Work

On the most recent season of "The Bachelorette," contestant Ed Swiderski told bachelorette Jillian Harris that he wasn't being...

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Day 18: Really, it's been 18 days?!

I can't believe it's been 18 days since I made a personal goal to reach 150 by October 31 for the Weight Watchers Lose for Good campaign (food for the needy). Instead of losing weight, I've actually gained weight. I was 162 this morning (up from 158).<br /><br />I remain calm. I'm not freaked out like the normal Diana gets when she gains a few pounds. Yes, I'm talking about myself in the third person, weird isn't it?<br /><br />I feel back in control. Counting Points and all that stuff that I know works. I worked out for only one hour this morning. Thirty minutes on the StairMaster and thirty minutes with weights.<br /><br />I pulled something on the inside of my elbows with the 25-dumbbells I used on Friday. I was forced to use the 25-pounders because some goofball was rubbing his foot on the only set of 20-pound dumbbells. My elbows hurt like heck and doing hammer curls are impossible and bicep curls aren't much better, so I did lower body workout today (my least favorite workout).<br /><br />Shortening my workout from ninety minutes to sixty minutes felt strange, like I wasn't done yet. It was like I was cheating. I'm sure to people that hate exercising I sound like some kind of freak, but I've been doing this for eighteen months. I enjoy a good workout. Some days I don't, but most days I look forward to it.<br /><br />The real reason I like working out is how it makes me feel afterwards. I walk taller, stand up straighter, feel stronger, and not just physically but mentally too. I'm not sure cutting back on my workouts is a good idea. I'm going to try it for a few days and if still makes me feel weird, I'm going back to an hour and a half.<br /><br />18 days down, 45 to go until October 31. Maybe I can still pull this off (without killing myself!).<br /><br /><span style="color:#cc33cc;"><strong>P!nk<br /></strong>Gotta love a pop star that speaks her mind. Quoted from P!nk on Twitter:<br /><br />"My heart goes out to taylor swift. She is a sweet and talented girl and deserved her moment. She should know we all love her.<br /><br />Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me."<br /><br />I get to see P!nk tomorrow night, live in concert, her kickoff U.S. concert in Seattle, and I'm super excited. Her opening act is the Ting Tings, and I love them too.<br /><br />I told a guy I work with that I was going to see P!nk and the Ting Tings in concert, and he said, "sounds kinda gay...pink and the Ting Tings?". Cracked me up because the first time I heard of the Ting Tings was from this <a href="http://tonysdietlog.blogspot.com/" target="blank"><span style="color:#cc33cc;">guy</span></a><span style="color:#cc33cc;">.</span><br /></span><br /><span style="color:#009900;"><strong>Hiking</strong><br />Saturday we went hiking at Crystal Mountain. The same place we went snowshoeing last winter. It's not as pretty as Mt. Rainier, but it was still fun.<br /><br />I had a 25-pound pack on my back and that just about killed me because it was a freaking 83 degrees. I'm a firm believer in carrying the </span><a href="http://www.seattlepi.com/getaways/216076_essentials17.html" blank="target"><span style="color:#009900;">10 essentials of hiking</span></a><span style="color:#009900;">, even if it's just a day trip and you're on a well-marked trail. My husband thinks I'm a little nuts about this, but every person that has been lost on a day hike didn't plan on getting lost.<br /><br />I really don't like hiking in hot weather, and I was a sweaty mess about 15 minutes into the hike, which was practically straight uphill (Crystal is a ski resort). I insisted on a lot of rest stops. How on earth I ever walked around weighing an additional 80 pounds is beyond me. </span><br /><br /><p align="center"><em><span style="color:#009900;">This was kind of cool because we took a picture in this exact same spot last winter when we were snowshoeing. You can see the little window is way above my head. Then in the snowshoeing picture you can see it's below my head. Just gives you an idea of how much snow was there last winter.</span></em><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXuIxxyveqfuf8EQoKSA86qqcrJXacsQpg68det6Td-csgboOz-ZYmnBVPEI6tvokoQULe9qSRheE48TDl5h6GkQzRHZ6QswfSuJ8xY9LzznZ4oucHa0CWPSJBuAFkwVRaG59lIYwYyXjt/s1600-h/Sept+2009+Crystal+005.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5380968706209457698" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXuIxxyveqfuf8EQoKSA86qqcrJXacsQpg68det6Td-csgboOz-ZYmnBVPEI6tvokoQULe9qSRheE48TDl5h6GkQzRHZ6QswfSuJ8xY9LzznZ4oucHa0CWPSJBuAFkwVRaG59lIYwYyXjt/s400/Sept+2009+Crystal+005.JPG" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" /></a> <span style="color:#009900;">March 2009<br /></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLM02bIGfIHuvx4fM2W8h6GT2RkjZmFnTiTtujTnNXxENOdRbYE-_KEILgTej54-rg1uQm-7N7yni1vQsqwAGdbveBgzJisZDR0ucNtuq412fai76QXscvfR9ZFQ8e9RKMQX3W3ijs9B-m/s1600-h/SnowHouseWinter.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5380969414983412338" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLM02bIGfIHuvx4fM2W8h6GT2RkjZmFnTiTtujTnNXxENOdRbYE-_KEILgTej54-rg1uQm-7N7yni1vQsqwAGdbveBgzJisZDR0ucNtuq412fai76QXscvfR9ZFQ8e9RKMQX3W3ijs9B-m/s400/SnowHouseWinter.jpg" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" /></a><span style="color:#009900;"> </span><em><span style="color:#009900;">A view from the woods.</span><br /></em><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhzJI-iPzBYw4eGzheC_cxab4qX8FRu16p1zgG-iT9OQVsNP1xBktEnpXkI3wMUSAjMHkp48uxg4chxLr8VGF1oXf6CFoTaF9o0r14kk6xWNXaffMoZ1Lqnu6nTQA9ggMvzeSVBNJgCNxs/s1600-h/Sept+2009+Crystal+092.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5380950990440261650" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhzJI-iPzBYw4eGzheC_cxab4qX8FRu16p1zgG-iT9OQVsNP1xBktEnpXkI3wMUSAjMHkp48uxg4chxLr8VGF1oXf6CFoTaF9o0r14kk6xWNXaffMoZ1Lqnu6nTQA9ggMvzeSVBNJgCNxs/s400/Sept+2009+Crystal+092.JPG" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" /></a> <em><span style="color:#009900;">First time I've seen huckleberries</span></em><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3kPvvi3H5oiRJ4ILx6xu58xPZsSM-BciQqLaa1wsnENvnQyGfFisBj-lFz-JvYmxYL5iyWIYwQFu6npaWrLOuwFInRCBklW2X3kfCgE56iqM4qa6nngNcOGjvN49bn9TPV1YK5wMo5ig9/s1600-h/Sept+2009+Crystal+089.JPG"></a><span style="color:#009900;">.</span> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrld-H3SGgcAB0jmY0viyAifVcCRozzFu-mR8SZ6LBEU8Wk1SHTgEVCTDZUG68Z0Z9ozSGqMUWiJrrpMbeQrvzzulFUWBFvUwx_aacpjMpuLP2nLK9LURODkOqJl8HG_kw8bsrTlabfwc0/s1600-h/Sept+2009+Crystal+077.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5380950577954797250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrld-H3SGgcAB0jmY0viyAifVcCRozzFu-mR8SZ6LBEU8Wk1SHTgEVCTDZUG68Z0Z9ozSGqMUWiJrrpMbeQrvzzulFUWBFvUwx_aacpjMpuLP2nLK9LURODkOqJl8HG_kw8bsrTlabfwc0/s400/Sept+2009+Crystal+077.JPG" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhj5NP8OTK_VTFvpEW2B1dlwpYJBjBDnM8K8BLtdBhETsAzk902lc3CukGuQ49NCB7O9i-4EhZMBJS9ZH1iysHl-ZdON7tFWFr6cdunGZuZtWnqH9uJFufASYzlmBma07yHq5sygA_BSMd/s1600-h/Sept+2009+Crystal+072.JPG"></a><span style="color:#009900;">Looking up, this was the hardest part of the hike with the sun beating down on me.</span> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTSqdBMtL4Yp0G8M4xSAuOp7tfW96mkxwCvoH-kT36MsSgUtwAXL5l0m31jUGWZ-blv6N28cb2Lj_dd_-cs0IwB-8jxAT9Y57GZbxeo_RAMpv2SGh_vooqlA0gbpLJ5vYwV8wVfYZoJRzz/s1600-h/ClimingUp.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5380980797393760514" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTSqdBMtL4Yp0G8M4xSAuOp7tfW96mkxwCvoH-kT36MsSgUtwAXL5l0m31jUGWZ-blv6N28cb2Lj_dd_-cs0IwB-8jxAT9Y57GZbxeo_RAMpv2SGh_vooqlA0gbpLJ5vYwV8wVfYZoJRzz/s400/ClimingUp.JPG" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" /></a><em> <span style="color:#009900;">The best part was looking down and enjoying a fresh peach. It was the b</span></em><em><span style="color:#009900;">est peach I'd ever eaten in my life. :)</span></em><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC9Z25A0hHXOoOa_8p0Ull4t2zg4NaFHwM2p5t-NEBYipwILihc800dLuJR3WG10qFg7ftTbmdb4LAtSM9G1r0vuWTbCKYD59aAwaPK_O2MriYSaBNUVSyBGyVCnUIjHKttdaiS7087EKm/s1600-h/Sept+2009+Crystal+037.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5380950061774465506" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC9Z25A0hHXOoOa_8p0Ull4t2zg4NaFHwM2p5t-NEBYipwILihc800dLuJR3WG10qFg7ftTbmdb4LAtSM9G1r0vuWTbCKYD59aAwaPK_O2MriYSaBNUVSyBGyVCnUIjHKttdaiS7087EKm/s400/Sept+2009+Crystal+037.JPG" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" /></a> <em><span style="color:#009900;">Just me, all hot and sweaty. I prefer my mountains with snow!</span></em> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbt-7jiPm9A9CqRc0R7Zzj7bEYoLZtgaWpl0gSRFgZ_SuiFkgHVBACTNYl0uoqFwn6P05C38atu4U48qemlkgBoLvW6dwNzJZu-8qQfTmvPFcBfy1u53Zek4PnwQG-VboYoRIj3BrAueLw/s1600-h/Sept+2009+Crystal+023.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5380949524498574146" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbt-7jiPm9A9CqRc0R7Zzj7bEYoLZtgaWpl0gSRFgZ_SuiFkgHVBACTNYl0uoqFwn6P05C38atu4U48qemlkgBoLvW6dwNzJZu-8qQfTmvPFcBfy1u53Zek4PnwQG-VboYoRIj3BrAueLw/s400/Sept+2009+Crystal+023.JPG" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" /></a></p><div align="center"><em><span style="color:#009900;">Red Elderberries</span></em></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIX8hpfAcCgEGz2mGPN-Fosnzjm3wK1PIK8siKIiyI-j0Y7VRRuO_sq3gjuzD0zcCtE945TuqATJJaLNlCw06SZUnkHAYpm2-cbzikePQm2T9cAyIdFf2fvhXdVhzmPlfgqSyZevBnKXuR/s1600-h/RedBerry.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5380980650267925506" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIX8hpfAcCgEGz2mGPN-Fosnzjm3wK1PIK8siKIiyI-j0Y7VRRuO_sq3gjuzD0zcCtE945TuqATJJaLNlCw06SZUnkHAYpm2-cbzikePQm2T9cAyIdFf2fvhXdVhzmPlfgqSyZevBnKXuR/s400/RedBerry.JPG" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" /></a>

Day 18: Really, it's been 18 days?!

I can't believe it's been 18 days since I made a personal goal to reach 150 by October 31 for the Weight Watchers Lose for Good camp...

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Should You Ever Lie at Work? - 10 fibs we all tell and how to stop

<a href="http://emj.icbdr.com/artieimages/ll/ar5c4g15wmxztgtq44ll.gif"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://emj.icbdr.com/artieimages/ll/ar5c4g15wmxztgtq44ll.gif" style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: hand" /></a><br /><div>After reading the title of this article, your first thought was hopefully, "No, I shouldn't lie at work." Upon further reading, however, you'll realize that try as you might; everyone lies in the workplace.<br /><br />Remember when you told your boss you liked his tie, which was obviously hideous? Or when you told your co-worker you were working late, when you really just didn't want to ride the train with her? Both are lies.<br /><br />Clearly, these minor fibs aren't hurting anyone, but they aren't helping, either. So why lie in the first place?<br /><br />"While some people actually intend to be deceptive, many lies [are told with the] intention to do well or to avoid rocking the boat," says Marsha Egan, president of The Egan Group, a professional coaching firm. "Others occur when people try to avoid the boss noticing a mistake in performance, or covering for some other behavior that could hurt their career. Many workers have the mistaken impression that a small white lie can't hurt."<br /><br />They're wrong.<br /><br />Timothy Keiningham and Lerzan Aksoy, co-authors of "Why Loyalty Matters," say although it's tempting to lie, even just a little, you run the risk of losing peoples' trust, or even your job.<br /><br />"It's easy to say, 'Everyone else is doing it, so I'll do it, too.' It's much harder to take an ethical stand and insist on honesty. Lying, however, is almost never in anyone's interest and should be avoided," Keiningham and Aksoy say.<br /><br />To lie or not to lie<br /><br />The occasional white lie is usually harmless, but most experts say it's easier to be honest from the get-go.<br /><br />B.J. Gallagher, a workplace consultant and author of "It's Never Too Late to be What You Might Have Been," says almost everyone lies at work at one time or another, usually in situations where they fear consequences for telling the truth.<br /><br />"Is this lying OK? It depends on the context. In general, honesty is the best policy. If you tell the truth you don't have to worry about being caught in a lie, you won't have to tell more lies to cover up the first one and you won't have to carry the burden of deception," Gallagher says.<br /><br />10 common fibs<br /><br />Here are 10 little white lies that we often tell in the workplace, why we tell them and what we should say instead.<br /><br />Lie No.1: I'd be happy to<br />Truth: This is the last thing I want to do.<br />Say this instead: "Tell your boss that you would be happy to help him/her with the task, but you need to find out more about what the task entails. At this point, share your concern," Keiningham and Aksoy say. If you need more time, ask for an extended deadline; if you need resources, figure out what you need and be prepared to ask if it would be possible to acquire these.<br /><br />Lie No. 2: My alarm didn't go off<br />Truth: I was out late last night and didn't actually hear my alarm go off.<br />Say this instead: "Lies about tardiness only work once or twice. If you repeatedly use the alarm clock excuse, or the traffic excuse, then your boss and others will catch on and you'll lose credibility -- or worse," Gallagher says. "If you are generally a punctual person and happen be late once in awhile, it's best to fess up, apologize and promise not to do it again. 'I'm so sorry. I didn't allow enough time to get here this morning. I apologize. I'll make sure I allow plenty of time from here on out.'"<br /><br />Lie No.3: I don't have any questions<br />Truth: I totally don't understand what I'm doing, but don't want to look stupid.<br />Say this instead: "When you are totally confused about something, saying that you have no questions will not gain you points with the boss," Egan says. "Most times, the boss can see right through this. Be honest and admit that you may be confused, and that you will get your questions together, or spend some time reading the material so that you can answer your own questions."<br /><br />Lie No.4: Everything is under control<br />Truth: Everything is not under control.<br />Say this instead: "An alternative to this might be: 'We seem to have hit a rough patch -- can I get your advice?'" Gallagher suggests. "If you can enlist your boss's help in solving whatever problem you're having, you can actually strengthen your relationship with him or her. Sometimes, admitting weakness and asking for help is actually a sign of maturity and strength."<br /><br />Lie No.5: I just got your voice mail<br />Truth: I got your voice mail a week ago; I've just been avoiding getting back to you.<br />Say this instead: "Many voice mail and e-mail systems have the capability of disclosing when items are heard or viewed, therefore this behavior is risky," Egan warns. It is much better to not say when you received it, but just, "I am responding to your voice mail," or "I received your voice mail Friday and am just now able to respond to it," she says.<br /><br />Lie No.6: Let's get together soon!<br />Truth: I have no intention of getting together with you ... ever.<br />Say this instead: "Why people say [this] to someone they never really intend to meet or who they don't like is beyond me. Not only do they set off false hope, but by not meeting with the person, they have not delivered on a promise," Egan says. "Say, 'I'm glad we had a chance to meet,' or 'thanks for your views on this subject.'"<br /><br />Lie No.7: I was thinking the exact same thing<br />Truth: I was thinking something totally different, but I want to seem agreeable.<br />Say this instead: "What makes breakthroughs and change happen is creativity in thinking and helping others see a viable different perspective," Keiningham and Aksoy say. "If you have a valid reason for disagreeing, then collect the evidence and make your point heard. Sure this is a risk, but as the saying goes, nothing ventured, nothing gained."<br /><br />Lie No.8: Oh yeah, I've done that before<br />Truth: I have no idea what this project is, or how to do it.<br />Say this instead: "Can you honestly learn the skills to complete the task in time for the deadline? If so, then go ahead and acquire the skills or ask someone for help to get the job done," Keiningham and Aksoy say. "If there is no way to learn everything you need in a reasonable timeframe, then you need to be honest and either ask for an extension or transfer the task onto someone else."<br /><br />Lie No.9: I'm sick<br />Truth: I need a day off.<br />Say this instead: "There are two primary reasons that employees abuse sick time and lie to avoid work: They have a lousy relationship with their immediate boss, or their work is repetitive, boring, unchallenging and mind-numbing," Gallagher says. "If employees are calling in sick when they're well, the boss needs to take responsibility and do something to address the real reason that employees are lying." If you want a day off, request one.<br /><br />Lie No.10: This will only take a minute<br />Truth: This will take forever.<br />Say this instead: "While it may be wishful thinking on the boss's or co-worker's part, discussions rarely take only a minute. Make a truthful assessment of about how much time you think the discussion will take," Egan says. "It is better to say, 'I'd like to discuss ABC -- I think it should take only about 10 to 15 minutes; can we set a time to discuss this?'"<br /><br />By Rachel Zupek writer and blogger for CareerBuilder.com and its job blog, The Work Buzz. She researches and writes about job search strategy, career management, hiring trends and workplace issues. Follow her on Twitter: http://twitter.com/CBwriterRZ.<br /></div><div><strong><span style="font-size:180%;">Search more than 100,000 Jobs by </span></strong><a href="http://jobs.careerbuilder.com/JobSeeker/Jobs/JobResults.aspx?SB%3Asbkw=&SB%3As_freeloc=&SB%3Asbfr=30&sbsbmt=Find+Jobs+%C2%BB&lr=cbrockl&cid=US&excrit=QID%3DA3852768340946%3Bst%3DA%3Buse%3DALL%3BCID%3DUS%3BSID%3D%3F%3BTID%3D0%3BENR%3DNO%3BDTP%3DDRNS%3BYDI%3DYES%3BIND%3DALL%3BPDQ%3DAll%3BPDQ%3DAll%3BPAYL%3D0%3BPAYH%3DGT120%3BPOY%3DNO%3BETD%3DALL%3BRE%3DALL%3BMGT%3DDC%3BSUP%3DDC%3BFRE%3D1%3BCHL%3DAL%3BQS%3DSID_UNKNOWN%3BSS%3DNO%3BTITL%3D0%3BOB%3D-modifiedint%3BJQT%3DRAD%3BJDV%3DFalse&IPath=ILM"><strong><span style="font-size:180%;">CLICKING HERE!</span></strong></a> </div>

Should You Ever Lie at Work? - 10 fibs we all tell and how to stop

After reading the title of this article, your first thought was hopefully, "No, I shouldn't lie at work." Upon further reading...

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Being the Bad Guy at Work - Why it could help your career

<a href="http://emj.icbdr.com/artieimages/c3/ar5d6hb70hgcxv7q84c3.gif"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://emj.icbdr.com/artieimages/c3/ar5d6hb70hgcxv7q84c3.gif" style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: hand" /></a><br /><div>In film and literature, the villains are the most entertaining characters. We root for good to triumph over evil and we're connected to the protagonist, but we're most interested in the bad guy.<br /><br />Think about classic films and pick out the best characters. In "The Wizard of Oz" I'm glad Dorothy ends up with her family, but the Wicked Witch and her winged simians were the coolest part of the story. In "Psycho," the focus is on creepy Norman Bates. Let's face it, being bad is fun.<br /><br />Why, then, do we become so skittish about embracing the role of bad guy at work? Think back to times during your career when you were too afraid to take an unpopular stance. Whether you've been working for three months or three decades, you've probably had at least one of those moments when you didn't want to be the lone voice of dissent. No one wants to be disliked by everyone else.<br /><br />"This doesn't mean that people shouldn't be strong, assertive and provocative at times, but they better understand the potential impact of what they are choosing to do," says Rick Maurer, a change management expert of Maurer & Associates.<br /><br />The question becomes, how do you embrace these maligned roles without ruining your career? Here are three instances when you might find yourself being the bad guy or gal and what you should think about:<br /><br />Standing up for what you think is right for the company or team<br />Opinions clash in every team effort. No decision involving a group vote ever happens without someone voicing concerns that ultimately slow down the process. Is it worth being the cheese that stands alone?<br /><br />"This is one of the most difficult issues a person can face at work," says Dr. Paul R. Damiano, president of Good Works Consulting. "The key is that you legitimately have to be concerned about the best interest of the company." When expressing your trepidation, keep the focus on how the company benefits from your idea and how a bad decision is detrimental to everyone. Don't put the focus on how it affects you because people will make assumptions about your motives.<br /><br />"If the group finally does override you, be sure to vocalize your support for the final decision, otherwise, they may see you as subtly trying to sabotage or undermine the decision to prove you were right all along," Damiano says.<br /><br />Playing devil's advocate<br />Sometimes the unpopular opinion isn't one that you believe in, but it's the one that gets people thinking. That's when you're tempted to play devil's advocate merely to challenge everyone to consider the reasons for their opinions. If you can rile people up and make them think about all sides of a situation, you can prepare them for controversy that might come their way as a result. But you could have your own controversy to deal with as well.<br /><br />"Even when the meeting is over, something called role transference can occur and people may still truly believe that you are against the issue at hand, when in fact you may have been merely trying to get people to think more broadly or deeply," Damiano says.<br /><br />To avoid any confusion, Damiano suggests a visual cue to separate you from your role as antagonist. It might sound silly, but it gives everyone a focal point for their frustration.<br /><br />"For example, you could hold a Koosh ball, wear a certain hat or sit in a designated seat when playing the devil's advocate," he suggests. "Then when you separate yourself from the tangible object (pass the ball, remove the cap, take your normal seat) it will be easier for your colleagues to separate you from your role playing opinions."<br /><br />However you choose to separate yourself from the role as naysayer, remember to emphasize your goal of challenging the group. Playing devil's advocate is only a worthwhile exercise if you make people reevaluate how they look at an issue, not how they look at you.<br /><br />Standing up for yourself<br />Hopefully you never have to encounter this situation, but it could happen: You share an idea with a co-worker, he presents it to the boss, she showers him with praise and you're left as the fool who doesn't have any good ideas. Do you let someone steal your hard work? What do you say if you're criticized for not being as productive and creative? Ultimately, this is a showdown of your word against his.<br /><br />"This is often a matter not of what we say, but how we say it," Damiano says. "In these instances, you definitely need to confront the issue, and you need to talk about the emotional impact it had on you without becoming emotional in the process."<br /><br />Can you be passionate without being irrational when you're trying to defend yourself? We are talking about your hard work and integrity, after all.<br /><br />"The best way to do this is to actually practice or role play the conversation a few times with a friend or colleague before talking to the person who unfairly took your ideas," Damiano says. If possible, he also encourages you to record yourself so you can analyze how you come across and judge whether or not your message is effective. Then you'll be ready to stand up for yourself.<br /><br />The gender effect<br />Lurking beneath each of these issues is that reality that women often know that things they do could backfire because gender still factors into some people's perceptions. Some women might be hesitant to be the office villain, even momentarily, because of the sexist stigma associated with assertive females in the workplace.<br /><br />On the other hand, if you're a woman who doesn't want to stand out for the wrong reasons, are you also a worker who's not standing out at all? If you're invisible at work you could be feeding into the stereotype of a meek female worker who's more wallflower than leader.<br /><br />Seems pretty lose-lose to me. Dr. Debra Condren, author of "Ambition is Not a Dirty Word," disagrees.<br /><br />"There's a big cost to women who shun the role of bad guy: It keeps you from going for your share of the opportunities pie at work, from taking risks that can have huge pay-offs, from standing up to people when you need to, from being tough even if it brings on disapproval from others, from taking the credit you deserve," she warns. "It keeps you from being taken as seriously in the workplace as those who stand up for themselves and play bad-guy hardball. It keeps you from earning what you're worth (i.e., it can cost women between $500,000 and $2 million in earnings over the course of their careers) and from earning as much as your male counterparts who are willing to play the bad guy in negotiations do."<br /><br />When she puts it that way, do you really have a choice?<br /><br />By Anthony Balderrama writer and blogger for CareerBuilder.com and its job blog, The Work Buzz. He researches and writes about job search strategy, career management, hiring trends and workplace issues. Follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/abalderrama. </div><br /><div><strong><span style="font-size:180%;">Search more than 100,000 Jobs by </span></strong><a href="http://jobs.careerbuilder.com/JobSeeker/Jobs/JobResults.aspx?SB%3Asbkw=&SB%3As_freeloc=&SB%3Asbfr=30&sbsbmt=Find+Jobs+%C2%BB&lr=cbrockl&cid=US&excrit=QID%3DA3852768340946%3Bst%3DA%3Buse%3DALL%3BCID%3DUS%3BSID%3D%3F%3BTID%3D0%3BENR%3DNO%3BDTP%3DDRNS%3BYDI%3DYES%3BIND%3DALL%3BPDQ%3DAll%3BPDQ%3DAll%3BPAYL%3D0%3BPAYH%3DGT120%3BPOY%3DNO%3BETD%3DALL%3BRE%3DALL%3BMGT%3DDC%3BSUP%3DDC%3BFRE%3D1%3BCHL%3DAL%3BQS%3DSID_UNKNOWN%3BSS%3DNO%3BTITL%3D0%3BOB%3D-modifiedint%3BJQT%3DRAD%3BJDV%3DFalse&IPath=ILM"><strong><span style="font-size:180%;">CLICKING HERE!</span></strong></a> </div>

Being the Bad Guy at Work - Why it could help your career

In film and literature, the villains are the most entertaining characters. We root for good to triumph over evil and we're connected to ...

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Don't Be That Co-Worker - 4 annoying work personalities you don't want to have

<a href="http://emj.icbdr.com/artieimages/mg/ar5d56g68t7tfbmzqbmg.gif"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://emj.icbdr.com/artieimages/mg/ar5d56g68t7tfbmzqbmg.gif" style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: hand" /></a><br /><div>If you ever arrive early to a holiday party or big family gathering, try to secure a spot where you can see guests walk into the room. You'll see a wide range of wardrobes (that should've never left the house) and behavior (from couples who are fighting but feigning love just for the evening).<br /><br />The best entertainment, however, comes from the people who attempt to hide the dread on their faces as they realize they're in for several hours of chitchat with people they don't particularly like. When they're spotted by these dreadful partygoers, you can watch their facial expressions say: "Is that ... Oh, geez, it's ... Did they see us? Can we -- Oh, heeeeey, nice to see you!"<br /><br />Hopefully, you're not the person attendees avoid. But if your party invites have decreased significantly over the years, maybe you have some thinking to do.<br /><br />Your workplace isn't that different from a party scenario. Sure, it lacks an open bar and a karaoke machine, but many of the same rules apply. Because no one likes to be annoying and no one likes to work with someone who is annoying, we've made a list of workplace personalities everyone dislikes.<br /><br />1. Type: The suck-up<br />Why everyone rolls their eyes: Co-workers have an unwritten rule of solidarity. Employees and the boss aren't in a battle with each other, but colleagues like to think that they support each other and are on the same team where everyone looks out for each other. When you become the boss's lapdog, you've betrayed loyalties. You're getting attention and possibly even accolades -- not because you've done your job, but because the boss knows you'll cater to his or her every need. Does that mean talking about information you were told in confidence? Or maybe you'll blame a co-worker for something that was really the boss's fault. Suck-ups don't have much workplace integrity nor co-worker support.<br />Why you should be wary: You won't have colleagues to help you out if your boss is your only ally. What will you do when he or she leaves the company?<br /><br />2. Type: The naysayer<br />Why everyone rolls their eyes: Sometimes the glass is half full. Pragmatism can keep everyone in check when they're too busy patting themselves on the back for a foolproof idea, but your response to every proposed idea or development shouldn't be gloom and doom. A constant chorus of "Oooh, no, that won't work" is annoying and kills morale.<br />Why you should be wary: If your contribution to every conversation is going to be a negative one, you'll be excluded from them.<br /><br />3. Type: The drama queen<br />Why everyone rolls their eyes: Not everything is a tragedy. Just because something happened to you doesn't make it more important than what's happening in other people's lives. You need to have control of your emotions and a grasp on what requires immediate attention (and what doesn't) whether you're working behind a fast-food counter or teaching a classroom full of children.<br />Why you should be wary: That whole boy crying wolf thing -- it applies here.<br /><br />4. Type: The star of the show<br />Why everyone rolls their eyes: Yes, you're a dazzling genius who should be running the place, not answering to some yahoo manager. Until your name is on the company letterhead, you're not the focal point of everyone's attention.<br /><br />Self-promotion is often a good way to stay visible and remind executives that you're a valuable contributor, but it should be used sparingly. Regardless of the organization and the industry, everyone is working toward a common goal -- and you are not that goal. Work hard and let the results speak for themselves.<br />Why you should be wary: When the spotlight's on you, it's leaving both other people and your work in the dark.<br /><br />By Anthony Balderrama writer and blogger for CareerBuilder.com and its job blog, The Work Buzz. He researches and writes about job search strategy, career management, hiring trends and workplace issues. Follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/abalderrama. </div><div></div><div><strong><span style="font-size:180%;">Search more than 100,000 Jobs by </span></strong><a href="http://jobs.careerbuilder.com/JobSeeker/Jobs/JobResults.aspx?SB%3Asbkw=&SB%3As_freeloc=&SB%3Asbfr=30&sbsbmt=Find+Jobs+%C2%BB&lr=cbrockl&cid=US&excrit=QID%3DA3852768340946%3Bst%3DA%3Buse%3DALL%3BCID%3DUS%3BSID%3D%3F%3BTID%3D0%3BENR%3DNO%3BDTP%3DDRNS%3BYDI%3DYES%3BIND%3DALL%3BPDQ%3DAll%3BPDQ%3DAll%3BPAYL%3D0%3BPAYH%3DGT120%3BPOY%3DNO%3BETD%3DALL%3BRE%3DALL%3BMGT%3DDC%3BSUP%3DDC%3BFRE%3D1%3BCHL%3DAL%3BQS%3DSID_UNKNOWN%3BSS%3DNO%3BTITL%3D0%3BOB%3D-modifiedint%3BJQT%3DRAD%3BJDV%3DFalse&IPath=ILM"><strong><span style="font-size:180%;">CLICKING HERE!</span></strong></a> </div>

Don't Be That Co-Worker - 4 annoying work personalities you don't want to have

If you ever arrive early to a holiday party or big family gathering, try to secure a spot where you can see guests walk into the room. You&#...

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My Co-Worker is a Slacker ... And My Boss Doesn't Care!

In every workplace, there is always that one person who doesn't pull his weight. He comes in late, leaves early and spends the day chatting on personal phone calls, walking around the office bothering people or updating his social networking sites.<br /><br />Everyone else has caught on to his slacker behavior, but that fact that he keeps engaging in it makes you wonder -- does he know what he's doing?<br /><br />"Some [slackers] are not aware [of their behavior]; they may have a perpetual victim mentality and feel justified, or will find an excuse or reason for their behavior," says Mark Goulston, author of "Just Listen." "However, many are aware and just don't care enough to try harder. The main reason they continue with the behavior is because they are enabled by their bosses instead of being held accountable."<br /><br />So, let's get this straight: you know your co-worker is a slacker, the slacker knows he's a slacker, and your boss -- the one person who has the power to do something about this person -- doesn't care?<br /><br />"Many bosses choose to ignore this behavior because many are conflict avoidant," Goulston says. "They may have very little confidence that a confrontation will end well and think it will make matters worse."<br /><br />Ignoring a slacking colleague's behavior might seem easier than a confrontation, but it's easier said than done. After all, when one person on the team is slacking off, it usually affects everyone else's productivity, too.<br /><br />Kerry Patterson, workplace communications expert and co-author of "Crucial Confrontations" and "Crucial Conversations," says slacker workers not only create more work for others, but their behavior also affects morale and team cohesiveness.<br /><br />"As individuals tire of carrying more than their fair share of the load, they become upset. Sometimes their anger is aimed at the person in question, but it's equally common for people to become disappointed in the team's leadership," Patterson says.<br /><br />"[They] ask such questions as, 'Why do the bosses allow this to continue?' and 'Why do hard-working employees receive greater and more complicated assignments while low performers are allowed to slide?' As employees spend more time thinking about, complaining about, and talking to their friends about inequitable treatment, productivity takes a dive."<br /><br />Mind your own beeswax<br /><br />So, what do you do: Mind your own business and let the slacker be a slacker? Or, do you do something about it?<br /><br />"Obviously, people need to pay attention to their own work and make sure they are performing well and not adding to the slacker problem," says Jane Goldner, founder of The Goldner Group and author of "Driven to Success: A 10-Point Checkup for Achieving High Performance in Business." "However, the offending co-worker's behavior needs to be addressed, especially when his or her behavior puts a burden on others."<br /><br />Goldner suggests first talking with your lazy co-worker on the chance that he or she isn't aware of how their lack of work ethic is affecting you. If that still doesn't work, approach your boss and explain that you've tried to talk with your colleague and there has been no change. Make sure you're able to provide specific examples.<br /><br />In the meantime, here are seven ways to confront and deal with a lazybones co-worker:<br /><br />1. Keep it small<br /><br />"Most problems come in large bundles. A single infraction may include everything from a procedural violation to failure to keep a commitment. Focus on the one issue you care about most. Don't air a list of gripes. Instead, work on one issue at a time," Patterson says.<br /><br />2. Choose your words carefully<br /><br />"Describe the problem using tentative language, then describe what the person is doing -- not what you're concluding," Patterson says. "Your conclusions are not only unscientific and possibly wrong, but they're almost guaranteed to create defensiveness."<br /><br />3. Share your good intentions<br /><br />"The last thing you want to do is make others feel like you are attacking or blaming them. You want them to feel safe discussing the issue, so begin by making it known that you have their best interest in mind," Patterson says.<br /><br />4. Try the helpful co-worker approach<br /><br />"Tell them co-worker to co-worker: 'I wish someone had done this with me during certain times in my career. I've noticed that you're not doing A, B and C. Rather than avoiding the situation and waiting until our boss comes down on you, I thought I'd tell you I've noticed and you may want to do something to improve,'" Goulston suggests.<br /><br />5. Keep the discussion private<br /><br />"This means not only during the conversation, but also after. This will help the other person feel safe talking to you and remedying the problem," Patterson says.<br /><br />6. If it's feasible, try to give the other person an out or excuse<br /><br />"At this point, you've delicately placed the problem in the open and the quicker you finish the discussion the better. Accept any excuse they might come up with -- bogus or otherwise. This is all about helping the other person save face," Patterson says.<br /><br />7. Express concern and thanks<br /><br />"Perhaps the most important thing to remember as you approach a highly sensitive topic is that you care about the other person and want to help him or her address the issue without feeling humiliated in the process. Keeping this in mind will go a long way toward setting the tone and helping an awkward discussion go quickly and smoothly," Patterson says.<br /><br />By Rachel Zupek writer and blogger for CareerBuilder.com and its job blog, The Work Buzz. She researches and writes about job search strategy, career management, hiring trends and workplace issues. Follow her on Twitter: http://twitter.com/CBwriterRZ<br /><br /><strong><span style="font-size:180%;">Search more than 100,000 Jobs by </span></strong><a href="http://jobs.careerbuilder.com/JobSeeker/Jobs/JobResults.aspx?SB%3Asbkw=&SB%3As_freeloc=&SB%3Asbfr=30&sbsbmt=Find+Jobs+%C2%BB&lr=cbrockl&cid=US&excrit=QID%3DA3852768340946%3Bst%3DA%3Buse%3DALL%3BCID%3DUS%3BSID%3D%3F%3BTID%3D0%3BENR%3DNO%3BDTP%3DDRNS%3BYDI%3DYES%3BIND%3DALL%3BPDQ%3DAll%3BPDQ%3DAll%3BPAYL%3D0%3BPAYH%3DGT120%3BPOY%3DNO%3BETD%3DALL%3BRE%3DALL%3BMGT%3DDC%3BSUP%3DDC%3BFRE%3D1%3BCHL%3DAL%3BQS%3DSID_UNKNOWN%3BSS%3DNO%3BTITL%3D0%3BOB%3D-modifiedint%3BJQT%3DRAD%3BJDV%3DFalse&IPath=ILM"><strong><span style="font-size:180%;">CLICKING HERE!</span></strong></a>

My Co-Worker is a Slacker ... And My Boss Doesn't Care!

In every workplace, there is always that one person who doesn't pull his weight. He comes in late, leaves early and spends the day chatt...

Read more »