Wake up Diana: you're killing yourself

I was going to title this post "Wake up America", but it's really me that needs a wake-up call. America will have to take care of herself.<br /><br />While I was in Tulsa I noticed an unusually large portion of the population was extremely fat. Morbidly obese would be more accurate. I only make note of this because I could easily be in the category of morbidly obese. I have it in me to weigh well over 300 or even 400 pounds. My highest weight was 245 but I know myself well, and my love of food and lack of willpower could easily be the death of me. By the way, Oklahoma is the sixth fattest state, and it was pretty obvious there's a problem.<br /><br />After I wrote my earlier post I finished off the Seafood Alfredo from yesterday and had a large piece of carrot cake with ice cream. I took another nap. I got up around 3pm and got dressed for the gym. I didn't want to go. I felt sluggish and tired. Every fiber of my being said "Just skip the gym today. You already blew it with what you ate today." Even my husband encouraged me to stay home (shame on him).<br /><br />I managed to get in my car and drive towards the gym. Then I remembered there really wasn't any healthy food at home to eat. I stopped at the grocery store to stock up before I went to the gym.<br /><br />As I walked into the store, in front of me walked two extremely heavy people. A man and a woman, each probably around 350 to 400 pounds. The man could barely walk, limping with each step. He looked like he was about 30 years old. There was a woman with them in an electric cart, with oxygen tubes in her nose and a tank of oxygen in the basket of the cart. She was easily over 400 pounds. I'm pretty sure she was younger than me, maybe 50.<br /><br />Once inside the store I was surrounded by extremely heavy people. It was the strangest thing I've ever seen. Everywhere I looked almost everyone weighed well over 300 pounds. I'm a pretty good judge of weight since it's been my obsession my entire life so I'm not exaggerating on the size of the customers in the store.<br /><br />It was like a message from God as I walked around the store. I could hear that voice in my head screaming at me, "THAT COULD BE YOU!" as I encountered each overweight person. I watched them struggling as they walked. Most of them were moving slowly, as if each step hurt them. I remember at 240 pounds I felt like each step was torture. I could feel their pain.<br /><br />The entire experience was surreal, almost like a Twilight Zone episode. After I got my groceries I went straight to the gym. I piled all the frozen stuff together in the trunk of my car and didn't even care if it melted a little. I was going to the gym right then, nothing was going to stop me.<br /><br />I'm home from the gym and still a little in shock over that weird experience in the store. It was my wake-up call. I can see how easily I can slip and fall back into old bad habits. One day leads to two, two to three, etc. You know how that story plays out. We all do. Been there too many times. History will NOT repeat itself this time.<br /><br />I'm in this for the long haul. I feel my determination coming back, my resolve to stay strong and beat this thing. I will not kill myself by eating myself to death. I will NOT do it.

Wake up Diana: you're killing yourself

I was going to title this post "Wake up America", but it's really me that needs a wake-up call. America will have to take care...

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Home Sweet Home

I finally got home yesterday after getting stuck in Dallas on Friday. The flights were full so I celebrated my birthday at an airport Holiday Inn Express. Sucks to be me sometimes. <br /><br />I was too tired to be sad about it, although it was the first birthday in my entire life that I spent alone. My coworker asked what was he, chopped liver? We had dinner at the Sheraton next door and toasted my birthday with diet coke. It was certainly not my most memorable birthday. It ranks right up there for worst birthday ever with when my entire family and my friends forgot my 16th birthday. That's a long story that I actually hadn't even thought about in years, until Friday.<br /><br />It was an incredibly long week, but our software passed certification. Just barely, with a few tweaks that have to be made this week before it can be deployed, but it passed. I guess I still have a job.<br /><br />Yesterday was a belated birthday celebration, starting with my husband meeting me at the airport with roses. That was sweet but sort of embarrassing. He's never done anything like that before so I don't know what came over him. <br /><br />It was a day with too much food, starting with breakfast at 13 Coins. My husband made my favorite dinner, Seafood Alfredo with king crab, scallops and prawns. Carrot cake with butter pecan ice cream for dessert. All delicious, all bad for me. I feel like the Goodyear Blimp today, and I doubt it's just the sodium. <br /><br />I've been trying all day to drag myself to the gym. I'm so tired I just want to curl up into a ball and sleep, which is exactly what I've done. It's 1:30pm, and I'm finally up, thinking about actually getting dressed and going to the gym. <br /><br />I know this week is going to be tough. Back to eating healthy, eating less and my regular exercise routine. Back to my life. Regardless of how hard it's going to be, I'm thrilled to be home.

Home Sweet Home

I finally got home yesterday after getting stuck in Dallas on Friday. The flights were full so I celebrated my birthday at an airport Holida...

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Planning des permanences - Semaine du 10 au 14 août 2009

<BR><br /><h2><strong><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 113%;color:#005c9b;" >Permanences</span></strong></h2><ul><br /><li><strong><a href="http://www.egee.asso.fr/">EGEE</a></strong><br />- lundi 10 août de 13h30 à 17h<br /><br /><li>Le <strong>Conseil Général du Loiret</strong> sera présent dans les locaux de la Maison de l'Emploi du bassin d'Orléans<br />- le lundi 10 août de 13h30 à 17h,<br />- le mardi 11 août de 9h à 12h30 et de 13h30 à 17h,<br />- le mercredi 12 août de 13h30 à 17h,<br />- le jeudi 13 août de 13h30 à 17h,<br />- le vendredi 14 août de 13h30 à 17h.</li></ul><br /><h2><strong><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 113%;color:#005c9b;" >Ateliers</span></strong></h2><ul><br /><li><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Utiliser Pôle-emploi.fr</span> - vendredi 14 août de 10h à 11h30<br /><li><strong><a href="http://news-these-days.blogspot.com/2009/07/atelier-situtilises-tu-trouves.html">Sit'Utilises tu trouves</a></strong> - vendredi 14 août de 14h à 16h30<br /></li></ul>

Planning des permanences - Semaine du 10 au 14 août 2009

Permanences EGEE - lundi 10 août de 13h30 à 17h Le Conseil Général du Loiret sera présent dans les locaux de la Maison de l'Emploi du b...

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