Job search rules: Can you benefit from breaking them?

<div class="ArticleHeadline"><div class="hdr_org_bld"><h1 id="articleHeadline"> <b><span id="cbArticle_lblByLine">Beth Braccio Hering, Special to CareerBuilder</span></b> </h1></div><div class="cbmsnArticleImage" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"></div></div><br /><div class="ArticleContent"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://emj.cbdr.com/artieimages/hf/ar5l5dq733ddjj80f1hf.gif?time=5/10/2011%204:13:27%20pm" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://emj.cbdr.com/artieimages/hf/ar5l5dq733ddjj80f1hf.gif?time=5/10/2011 4:13:27 pm" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Follow the rules and you are bound to get rewarded, right? Not necessarily. Here, experts offer their take on some traditional advice that might not always be in a job seeker's best interest:</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><strong>"Do not be too obvious that you are trying to find a job."</strong><br />While one need not hang a "Hire me!" sign around his neck, valuable networking opportunities can be wasted if a job seeker is overly apprehensive about displaying interest in employment.<br />"I do think this rule has been dispelled in our down economy where the job search stigma has been eliminated, though some folks are still afraid to advertise their status," says Christine Bolzan, founder of <a href="http://www.graduatecareercoaching.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #000099;">Graduate Career Coaching</span></a> -- a custom-<a href="http://www.careerbuilder.com/jobs/keyword/counselor/"><span style="color: #000099;">counseling</span></a> service for <a href="http://careerrookie.com/"><span style="color: #000099;">college students and new graduates</span></a>. "Just yesterday, I was speaking to a father of a current college senior and suggesting to him that he leverage his own network to help his son's search. His response was, 'Oh, no. His mother and I have not told anyone that he does not have a job.' There was a perception that this is an embarrassment or a failure of sorts, which is completely wrong on both accounts."<br /><br /><strong>"Provide salary information if the job ad asks for it."</strong><br />"So many job seekers are under the impression that you show that you can't 'follow rules' if an ad asks you to state your salary history/expectations and you respond without it," states Darrell Gurney, founder of CareerGuy.com and author of "Backdoor Job Search: Never Apply for a Job Again!" "If you are close enough to the specs, chances are you'll hear back even if you didn't include it. That's what you want, so you can at least begin to deal with a real person rather than set yourself up to be eliminated with no contact whatsoever."<br /><br />If the lack of a figure comes up when contacted, Gurney suggests a response such as, "Oh, I'm sorry. I'd be happy to provide you with copies of W-2s at an appropriate time. Perhaps we can see if there's some initial alignment on what you're looking for first? Can you tell me more about the role?"<br /><br /><strong>"Let the employer run the interview."</strong><br />"Going in and being a 'good' interviewee is not in your best interests, though (of course) amiability and friendliness are critical," Gurney notes. "Think of it like you were brought in to <a href="http://www.careerbuilder.com/jobs/keyword/consulting/"><span style="color: #000099;">consult</span></a>. Going in with questions and interests that you want to have addressed, including a real interest in the interviewer, can go a long way to setting yourself apart from the masses."<br /><br />David Couper, a <a href="http://www.careerbuilder.com/jobs/keyword/career+coach/"><span style="color: #000099;">career coach</span></a> and author of "Outsiders on the Inside: How to Create a Winning Career ... Even When You Don't Fit In," adds, "The more you know, the better. Some job hunters think it is OK not to do research because the employer will explain to them about the company. The problem with that approach is that all the information is one-sided. It is what the company wants you to hear, not what the market, customers or employees are saying."<br /><br /><strong>"Don't call after an interview to follow up because hiring managers don't like it" and "Continue to follow up on positions for which you interviewed."</strong><br />Finally, remember that job search "rules" are rarely set in stone, as these two contradictory yet widely circulated pieces of advice demonstrate. Sometimes, using your own good judgment is key.<br />"Follow up after an interview with additional information and with solutions to their problems like a <a href="http://www.careerbuilder.com/jobs/keyword/consultant/"><span style="color: #000099;">consultant </span></a> would," Couper says. "Calling to discuss this information is positive. Calling just to ask where your application is and to whine about the process doesn't score you any points."<br />Adds Gurney, "A simple follow up from a position of strength and certitude is always helpful and demonstrates interest, but continuing to 'follow up, follow up, follow up' from a place of need and desperation loses your gloss and negotiating stance. Think dating: How interested would you be in someone calling over and over after the first date, leaving messages letting you know how much they enjoyed it and wanting to know 'where we go from here'?"<br /><br /><em>Beth Braccio Hering researches and writes about job search strategy, career management, hiring trends and workplace issues for CareerBuilder.com. Follow @CareerBuilder on Twitter.</em></div>

Job search rules: Can you benefit from breaking them?

  Beth Braccio Hering, Special to CareerBuilder Follow the rules and you are bound to get rewarded, right? Not necessarily. Here, experts o...

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Weekend Recap

Happy Monday!<br /><br />My weekend was filled with grocery shopping, hanging out with friends, and a cooking affair on Sunday. <br /><br />Saturday I was up fairly early and out the door by 8 AM to get my start at grocery shopping.  On this week's menu is chili with cornbread muffins, a healthier recreation of Chipotle's burrito bowl, and fettuccine with bolognese sauce.  <br /><br />Once I got home from all 3 grocery stores (they don't all have everything I want in one store), I planned to have a snack and then start on the New Rules of Lifting workout.  My snack for the past few days has been awesome.  I've been eating the <a href="http://www2.kelloggs.com/ProductDetail.aspx?id=1261">reduced fat Townhouse Crackers by Keebler</a>, with some <a href="http://www.thelaughingcow.com/products/light-swiss-original/">Laughing Cow Light Swiss Cheese</a> and a piece of <a href="http://www.hormel.com/products/refrigerated/HormelPepperoni.aspx">Hormel Turkey Pepperoni</a>. <br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><br /> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipN7fe8OxZTVBjgfGuJ0CMzWhA7iFbaP8K7lgO73NwXu3b-zxSX-07WjrtKqyf-pF2JgSpVZ-WNhIcPvw_zmJcjiOO6IphgbW5TcmN8JxtDHlTvxOBd6kIw1DA5sDZXDM6uJh2Fle5tlo/s1600/blog+004.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipN7fe8OxZTVBjgfGuJ0CMzWhA7iFbaP8K7lgO73NwXu3b-zxSX-07WjrtKqyf-pF2JgSpVZ-WNhIcPvw_zmJcjiOO6IphgbW5TcmN8JxtDHlTvxOBd6kIw1DA5sDZXDM6uJh2Fle5tlo/s400/blog+004.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr><br /> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">delicious and filling!</td></tr><br /> </tbody></table>After all that yummy in my tummy, I began on Workout A.  I was proud of myself for sticking to a workout I planned for a weekend day.  As much as I'd love to rearrange my workouts to happen on the weekends when I feel I have more time, it just seems easier for me to talk myself out of it when the time comes.  But I stayed true to my goal, and while I was standing outside doing the bonus workout at the end (2 workouts, as many times as you can for each one), a very thin, younger, and pretty woman walked by with her dog smoking a cigarette and she told me "Great job on working out.....*laugh* as I stand here smoking a cigarette!  That's what I need to be doing!"  I have to go outside to do the Step Ups because I actually need something to step up onto (go figure! :) ), and so we've been using the curb.  Joel hates this though - he gets all embarrassed.  I actually don't care - I mean look!  I even got a compliment! <br /><br />So while I achieved my fitness goal for the weekend, I didn't do so hot Saturday night when we hung out with friends.  I actually didn't think these plans were ever going to come to fruition because we never heard back from the people planning the get together until just 2 hours before we actually met up.  As a result, I went ahead and ate dinner around 6 PM and figured the night was coming to an end.  However, we ended up getting together at 8:30 PM for a very late dinner.  Of course, I wasn't planning on eating because I already ate earlier.  Then we got there and suddenly I was "hungry".  It was a sushi restaurant, which is not something I eat.  And the only other thing on the menu was tempura chicken....and lots of Miller Lite.  Eh, it is what is is.<br /><br />I was happy for a great night out with friends though - this is not something Joel and I get to partake in very often because of his conflicting work schedule.  We had a lot of fun! <br /><br />Sunday I spent the entire day making the dinners for the week.  Stay tuned for some awesome recipes!

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It's a quarter after one and I need...

It's a quarter after one and I need...a dry cast! I walked for an hour and a half last night at 8pm. The evening was gorgeous. It was 81 degrees with a nice breeze. I was really pushing myself which resulted in a disgusting and very sweaty cast. I've been tucking Kleenex in it and soaking up the sweat. It's totally gross, cold and clammy and really wet. Next I'm going to try the hairdryer. I was asleep for three hours but the cast woke me up because it's so uncomfortable.<br /><br /><b>My walk</b><br />I found a new trail and I'm very excited about it. It's the same BPA trail in Federal Way, a  ten-mile paved loop from my house where I use to ride my bike (too fast...hence broken wrist).<br /><br />Last night I discovered there's a dirt trail that runs next to the paved trail. It's separated by brush by about 200 feet in most areas. I like this a lot better because the terrain is a lot rougher, much hillier, and fewer people. I had a much harder and more interesting workout last night. Although, I think I'll be buying a can of pepper spray because it's a bit secluded.<br /><b><br /></b><br /><b>What my husband said about my diet and exercising affecting our lives..what I didn't tell you</b><br />I was mad and hurt at first. I told him I didn't choose to be like this and it sure as hell wasn't fun for me either. I'd love to eat whatever I wanted whenever the mood struck me (like he does), but if I did I would easily gain 100 pounds very quickly, and more. It's my cross to bear in life, this thing I have with food. I'm doing the best I can, but it will always be a battle for me. Always.<br /><br />He tried to continue with his reasoning that it causes a lot of hardship for HIM. This isn't the first time we've had this "discussion". I didn't back down before, and I certainly didn't this time. He has no concept of deprivation when it comes to food. He never looks at calories or carbs or fats, or any food label. He's never heard of calorieking.com nor does he care about my BodyMedia. <br /><br />He's not skinny and needs to lose at least 50 pounds, but he refuses to count calories or track his food, and he basically eats whatever he wants, when he wants it. If he's hungry, he eats. Nor does he exercise except 'working' in the yard.<br /><br />So when he tells me that <u>me </u>being on a diet all these years has been hard on <u>him</u>, I just want to scream. I sort of understand it, I guess, in a tiny, insignificant way maybe it has impacted him.<br /><br />I don't cook fat-laden, delicious meals like his mother did when he was growing up.<br /><br />Or maybe I do always check out how many calories in an item before I eat it, or pick a restaurant based on what's available that I know is healthy and I can eat without totally ruining my diet.<br /><br />I never eat movie popcorn with him. Does this stop him? I wish it did, but it doesn't. I don't say anything either, like 'do you know how many calories are in that?! OMG!'. I keep my mouth shut and don't make an issue about it. I'm not a popcorn fan so it doesn't bother me, but I know it's very unhealthy for him.<br /><br />Birthday cakes, I have a sliver then the rest gets cut up in pieces and frozen...all for him.I still haven't figured out why he keeps buying birthday cakes for me (I guess he likes cake?).<br /><br />Then he told me he resents all the time I spend working out. Those were fighting words. He apparently has no concept of how hard it was, and sometimes still is, for me to exercise almost every day. I consider this a major achievement in my life, to be a person that works out consistently. I've been doing this for over three and a half years and plan on doing it the rest of my life. And he "resents" it?<br /><br />That's when the conversation took a bad turn because that really me me mad. <br /><br />I told him I wasn't changing. This was all for my heath. Period. I wasn't going to ever stop my vigilance with food. I will continue to exercise until I'm physically unable to do it. I told that I was sorry this was such a hardship for HIM (I didn't scream it, but I wanted to). I also told him if I didn't do these things I could guarantee him I'd gain a lot of weight very quickly. Didn't he remember how miserable I was at 240 pounds? Talk about not being fun! I was very unhappy..<br /><br />My husband isn't an ogre nor is he stupid. He quickly apologized, told me he was proud of me, of how hard I try and how much I work at being healthy. He would never want me to stop (that was the correct response if he wanted to stay married).<br /><br />On the other hand, I'm trying to lighten up a little. That was why I agreed to the all-you-can-eat seafood buffet at a casino. Although in my head I was dreading it (no nutritional info so I had to make my best guess on calories)  and I knew there was no way we'd get our money's worth on my dinner. <br /><br />It's all good. I'm still counting calories and still exercising, and we're still married. :)

It's a quarter after one and I need...

It's a quarter after one and I need...a dry cast! I walked for an hour and a half last night at 8pm. The evening was gorgeous. It was 81...

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