Monday, Part II - How a binge starts

My second post for today...avoiding a binge<br /><br />It's 10:21 p.m. This is usually when it starts, the beginning of my nightly binge. It always starts innocently enough. Right now it's been about four hours since I ate dinner. I feel a little bit hungry. I'm not starving, I just feel like eating something. Lord knows I can't have a slight hunger pain and not take care of it immediately.<br /><br />I've thought of all the things that I could eat that would be considered an acceptable snack. I've eaten 32 Points today, which is a large amount of food (I'm allowed a minimum of 29). <br /><br />I've had three pieces of fruit today, two apples and a banana. I make note of this because fruit is suppose to have zero Points. However, I counted a Point for the banana. That's how I've customized the Weight Watcher plan for myself. Bananas have Points on "my" plan. I decided I needed some sort of ground rule for certain fruits. This is because I ate four bananas at one sitting a few days ago. You may find that unbelievable but it's the truth. Therefore, certain fruits that I would overeat have been assigned a Point value. Apples are safe. I don't think I've ever eaten more than one apple at a sitting. Of course, this is totally against the new Weight Watcher plan, but it's working for me.<br /><br />Right now, I'm thinking I could have a little snack, maybe a low-fat piece of string cheese for 2 Points. Or a Skinny Cow low-fat fudge bar or maybe another apple (they're organic Fuji's and they're delicious) or perhaps a Dreyers frozen Pomegranate bar. Maybe some baby carrots, they're organic and super sweet. Or a glass of ice cold fat-free milk. I love milk. Maybe it would make me sleepy. Or a small piece of left-over chicken breast from dinner or maybe a Franz thinwich with some maple pumpkin butter (1 Point for a tablespoon). Or microwave popcorn, the Smart Pop brand that's low in Points.<br /><br />The problem here is if I eat one thing, I can't stop. I'll eat everything I've listed above. Yes, everything. Well, maybe not the carrots, but everything else. I know myself well enough by now that I'm about 99% sure that's what would happen. I would once again ruin a perfect day of eating on plan, a perfect day of exercise, with a binge. <br /><br />Instead of eating and chancing a binge, I've decided to wait until tomorrow morning to eat anything. I'm sipping water, writing this post. I'm wondering if I can sleep when I feel hungry. It's been a long time since I even tried. Then again, I can never sleep anymore anyway so why would that make it any different than any other night.<br /><br />That's how a binge starts. This is how I'm stopping it in it's tracks...I'm not going to start. I'm very tired and feeling sleepy. I'm going to bed now, and I'm feeling like I'm in control of my actions. I will not eat until tomorrow morning after 6 a.m. That's only seven hours from now. Surely I can last seven hours without eating.<br /><br />Good night.

Monday, Part II - How a binge starts

My second post for today...avoiding a binge It's 10:21 p.m. This is usually when it starts, the beginning of my nightly binge. It always...

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New diets always start on Monday

<strong><span style="font-family: inherit;">And it's a Monday</span></strong><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;">I remember my old days of my dieting failures. I'd always start a diet on Monday, and often by Tuesday or Wednesday, or even sometimes by Monday night, the diet was history. It was too hard, I didn't care anymore, and I was too hungry to continue. I'd always have a plan to start fresh the following Monday. </span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;">It's Monday again, and even though I don't live by my old rules, it is a new week and a day where I can start over. Yesterday wasn't a perfect day by a long shot. I went to the gym for an hour and a half workout. Then I blew it. Why I continue this craziness is something I've yet to figure out.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;">When I came home, I found a bag of opened Original Bugles in my kitchen. I don't even like Bugles, and I can't remember the last last time I ate this snack food. Maybe 20+ years ago. In case you've never heard of them, they're a corn chip snack in the shape of a bugle. Salty and greasy, and really not very tasty. That didn't stop me. It's certainly not a food I sit around and obsess over. As far as I'm concerned, they're far down on the food chain of things I like to eat.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;">I don't know what possessed my husband to bring them into our home (temporary insanity?) or me to indulge in them (more temporary insanity?). Yet there I sat yesterday stuffing them in my mouth. I even measured out the first serving. 1.5 cups. I think it was something like 180 calories and 9 grams fat for each serving. After the first serving I just dumped some in a bowl and ate them. Probably at least three cups. I didn't calculate the Points. Why bother? It seemed like a lost cause at that point. </span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;">Next up was the almond butter, something I read about in last week's Weight Watcher flyer. They were talking about what to eat to prevent night time binges. Peanut butter and whole wheat crackers. Or peanut butter and apple slices. I'm allergic to peanut butter, but I love almond butter. I stopped buying it two years ago. Last night I remembered why. I love the stuff, but too much of it is NOT a good thing. One tablespoon is three Points! I didn't eat just one. Last night was a bad night for me. </span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;">It's Monday again, time to start over.</span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br /><strong><span style="font-family: inherit;">Hunker down</span></strong><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;">urbandictionary.com...</span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;">hunker down:  finally sit down to finish something up. To stop procrastinating and do something.</span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;">That's what I'm doing, I'm finally settling down and focusing on reaching goal. I've been putting this off long enough. </span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;">I'm past the honeymoon phase, I know this isn't easy nor is it fun. I might return here someday, but it's rather unlikely.</span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;">I've faced up to the honesty phase, and yes, this is hard but it IS worth it. This is my life. Forever. I'm the kind of person that even when I reach goal, it's still going to be difficult. I've accepted that it's never going to be easy. </span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;">So now it's the hunkering down phase. The phase where I bite the bullet, put my heart into this 100%. The old "no pain, no loss" rule applies to me. After years of diets, I know myself pretty well when it comes to losing weight. I have to be a little bit hungry a good part of the time or I don't lose weight. </span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;">I'm not talking about starving hungry, but I can't feed every little hunger pain that comes my way. A little hunger is normal, and something I have to learn to live with. It's not like I'm going to die from a little hunger. </span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;">My goal for right now, just get through one freaking day without overeating. My plan for tonight is a small three-Point snack and yoga before bed. No TV after 8pm. No True Blood DVDs that have been giving me horrible nightmares of death and violence. Yoga and a good book are the plan.</span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br /><strong><span style="font-family: inherit;">Speaking of good books - "This Stranger, My Son" by Louise Wilson</span></strong><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;">I read this book over the weekend, and it's really good. If someone you love has been diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia, you must read this book. My nephew was diagnosed with it in 1994. He committed suicide shortly afterwards at the age of 31. </span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;">My sister has been haunted by this for years, wondering what she did wrong as a mother. Blaming herself, saying she should have done more for her son, even though she did everything humanly possible to help him. </span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;">I just happened upon this book at a used bookstore. It was written in 1968 and is a mother's true story of life with her son that was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia.  It's heart-wrenching reading, and I could see my nephew in this story. It's a must-read for anyone that has a loved one dealing with this illness. I'm going to send my copy to my sister. </span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br /><strong><span style="font-family: inherit;">Weight Watcher New Complete Cookbook (with PointsPlus recipes)</span></strong><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;">I just bought this cookbook at Costco. I haven't tried any of the recipes yet, but it's a nice 3-ring notebook style cookbook. It retails for $29.95. Costco is selling it for $17.95, but it has a coupon inside for a year's subscription to Weight Watchers magazine. However, if you don't want the subscription, you can get a refund of $9.99 by writing "refund" on the coupon and mailing it. That means the cookbook was only $7.96! That's a real bargain.</span>

New diets always start on Monday

And it's a Monday I remember my old days of my dieting failures. I'd always start a diet on Monday, and often by Tuesday or Wednesda...

Read more »