You do not know me

The criminal case against my husband has been thrown out. The assistant prosecutor called me Monday and told me. He is very young and inexperienced. He told me that he didn't think he could win the case. He said it was a "she said/he said" case. I guess the bruises and scrapes on my body, the hair that fell out in clumps the next day from my husband pulling it out, don't mean anything.

Today I read what he wrote about the case and why it was being dismissed. I was devastated. I was called a liar, that I didn't sound like I was afraid on the 911 tape. I finally stood up to the bully and because I didn't run screaming from the house in the middle of the night that what happened to me was my fault. I don't even begin to understand our justice system, but I can certainly see that it's flawed.

I want to send this to the little twerp that's the assistant prosecutor, but I'm not going to. It wouldn't serve any purpose. However, writing it here has helped me.

To the assistant prosecutor on my case --

You do not know me

You do not know the pain I've endured during my 24 years of marriage to a tyrant and a bully.

You do not know how many times I was screamed at and called names like "stupid fucking bitch" or how many times my husband  told me that I was an idiot, that I didn't know anything.

You do not know how many times I was shoved and pushed by my husband. Or how he would stand an inch from my face and called me names that I can't even put in writing, screaming at me so loud that his spit would hit my face.

You do not know about the time my husband ripped the collar on my bathrobe as he jerked me around like a rag doll.

You do not know about the time he literally tore down my locked bedroom door in the middle of the night so he could scream at me.

You do not know how many times he would come into my room in the middle of the night while I was sleeping, yelling obscenities at me. The next day I would have to go to work while he slept.

You do not know about his relationships with other women during our marriage or his porn addiction.

You do not know about his 10,000 emails and chats over the last two years to a woman that was his high school sweetheart. His main topic was me and how much he hated me and that I was stupid.

You do not know about all the years my husband spent not working, always finding an excuse to avoid full-time employment, going for months at a time staying home and watching TV or sleeping or instant messaging his girlfriends and viewing porn. While I worked full-time the entire time of our marriage. I was the main support of the household

You do not know that I was raised by a good family on a homestead in Alaska with wonderful parents.

You do not know that I'm a Christian and believe in God and Jesus as my Savior. I was raised in the Baptist Church and was taught to be kind, to follow the ten commandments and to be a good person and live a good life. I was taught that divorce is wrong and that God hates divorce. However, considering my marriage I'm pretty sure I have God's blessing for my divorce.

You do not know that I have a college degree and work as a software developer engineer.

You do not know that I have worked for the same company for 30 years.

You do not know that I have close girlfriends that I've had for over 25 years and that my husband's only friend is someone he met a few months ago.

You do not know that I'm the legal guardian of my disabled 74-year sister who suffered a debilitating stroke two years ago. She can't speak or walk. I visit her every Sunday and take her out to a movie and dinner.

The most important thing that you do not know about me is that I'm not a liar. What I said happened on the night of November 7, 2012 was the truth. The man I had lived with for 24 years put a loaded 357 magnum between my eyes and said:  "You stupid fucking bitch, do you want me to blow your fucking head off?! I will, I will! I'll do it you stupid bitch!". I didn't make this up. It's embarrassing to me to even repeat those words.

He crossed the line that time and that's why I called the police. That's why I reported this because I finally stood up to the bully.

For you to throw out this case after eleven months and say it was my fault because I yelled at my husband, that I didn't sound scared when I was on the 911 call, and that there's no case is reprehensible. You should be ashamed. You're a disgrace to your office.

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Posted by: Tukiyooo You do not know me Updated at : 6:33 PM

Thursday, October 10, 2013