Our First Days Home

Avonlea was a great baby from the very beginning.  She's been a great sleeper and doesn't fuss much, except for when she's hungry.  She even enjoys having her diaper changed and having her clothes changed!  That makes me happy because I have a ton of outfits to wear on her :).

Feeding has been a whole different challenge, however.  I am doing a combination of breast feeding and formula feeding.  The lactation consultants in the hospital, and some nurses, were very militant about breast feeding and didn't want to provide me with bottles at all.  I was beginning to get very upset with them - my child was nearly 11 lbs - I wasn't making enough via boob to satisfy her and she would cry and cry until we could get her a bottle.  The hospital I delivered at is very pro-breast feeding, and I was lectured on more than one occasion about bottle feeding plus using a pacifier.  Tough!  She's my kid - I'll do what I want.  Those feeding frustrations definitely contributed to my desires to get out of the hospital ASAP.  Once we visited the pediatrician - they made us feel so much better about everything - informing us she needed 3 times as much formula than what she was receiving in the hospital.

first beauty day at the hospital

 Like most women do, I struggled with getting her to latch on to the boob right away.  Fortunately, I have a great friend who was the most valuable resource in breast feeding - she gave me some tips to try and spent an hour with me and Avonlea getting her to latch on.  Ever since then, she's done really great switching between breast and bottle.  I've been pumping as much as possible each day, and what I cannot provide her with in breast milk she receives in formula.

Charles was immediately skeptical

Still, our first full day home provided a scary experience for this first-time momma.  I was feeding her via bottle and she started gasping/choking - I completely lost it - and passed her off to my father because I thought her lips were turning blue (my dad is certified in CPR).  Her lips were not turning blue, but it was such a scary moment I couldn't bottle feed her for a week.  I had never experienced that before with a baby, and the pediatrician reassured us she was okay with her lungs and heart.  We were only using slow-flow nipples, but every bottle we used seemed to cause this reaction in her (I own every brand of bottle except Dr. Brown's - so we've tried A LOT!), with the exception of the pre-mixed bottles and those nipples.  We went in search of a bottle that had that similar nipple shape, and ended up with a Parents Choice bottle from Walmart.  These things are 97 cents and have been absolutely incredible bottles!  While she does still gasp every now and then, it's getting better as each day passes and these bottles seem to be the best for her.  As I talked to some other mothers, they shared with me that their child also did the gasping/choking thing in the beginning as well.  Still, it was such a scary moment I was absolutely petrified to feed her.  Poor Joel had to do all the feedings until just this week.

Aside from the stress of feeding her, which was my biggest challenge and struggle, I was also absolutely exhausted.  There wasn't much sleep in the hospital due to the constant interruption by the nurses checking on us.  From our very first day at home, we had visitors.  If I wasn't so exhausted, this might have been okay.  But, I just had surgery 4 days prior, I hadn't slept more than 2 hours in a row up to that point, and I was feeling absolutely miserable in every way.  I wasn't in pain, I was just exhausted, run-down and weak and had absolutely no appetite.  Plus I was extremely sad given the feeding circumstances and feeling very inadequate because I was terrified to feed her.  The visitors finally subsided by Sunday evening (almost 1 week postpartum) and it wasn't until then that I started to feel like myself again.  I might have suffered a little postpartum depression, or it was just a product of being absolutely exhausted - I'm not sure which.  As I type this, I feel mostly like myself (except moving around is still not 100% yet).

Being at home with Avonlea has been amazing, and it brings great sadness to think about the fact that this is only going to be temporary.  I know most, if not all, mothers going through that when they go back to work. However, when you dislike your job as much as I do, I know it's going to be that much harder.  Still, I am trying to focus on the time we have together over these next 3 months and enjoy those as much as possible!

What were your favorite moments in the beginning of your newborn's life?

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Posted by: Tukiyooo Our First Days Home Updated at : 8:42 AM

Tuesday, July 9, 2013