What it means to me: Eating Guideline #1 Eat when hungry

When I first read Geneen Roth's Women Food and God last July, I was very excited. It was all I could talk about. I was about three fourths of the way through the book when I read about the Eating Guidelines. <br /><br />I couldn't wait to read the "Eating Guidelines". So I skipped ahead to page 111, eagerly reading what I just knew would change my life. <br /><br />Guideline #1 - Eat when hungry.<br /><br />What the hell? I was angry. Furious at this Geneen Roth woman. She must be a freaking idiot to write such nonsense. Eat when hungry? Seriously? Excuse me lady, but that's what got me up to 240 pounds. If I had kept eating when I was hungry, in a few years I would weigh five hundred pounds. I'd become a bed person and they'd have to cut down the walls to get me out of my house. Eating when hungry? Who would think of such foolishness?<br /><br />I felt like I'd been scammed. Cheated. I was hungry 24 x 7. I thought of food continually. If I really ate when I was hungry, I'd never put down my fork. So much for Geneen Roth. I was done with her.<br /><br />Then there was the workshop. You have no idea how much I didn't want to go last weekend. I was dreading it. Thankfully Grace decided to go too. If it hadn't been for her I may have just not showed up, and then I would have missed one of the best learning experiences of my life. <br /><br />Eat when hungry. <br /><br />What does that mean? Sounds pretty obvious, if you're hungry, you eat. Not exactly rocket science. But wait. There's more. When are you hungry? Do you even know? I didn't. I thought I was always hungry. I thought I had some type of mental or physical disease. Most people don't obsess about food like me. It's like there was something wired wrong in my brain, something that made me think I always needed to eat.<br /><br />After the workshop I started to really analyze my feelings of hunger. Was I really hungry? Or was it something else?<br /><br />Maybe I was hurt because my husband said something insensitive, or he left for work without a goodbye kiss, just a "bye, see you later!" as he ran out the door. <br /><br />Maybe it was worry about my job and that stupid NY Times article about if you're unemployed now at age 55 you'll probably never work again. <br /><br />Maybe it's rejection, lack of love, fear of being homeless...maybe it's none of those things, maybe I'm just thirsty or bored. <br /><br />I remember once I told a coworker that I was starving to death. I was being super strict with my diet (Weight Watchers), and I was really hungry. His comment was "well, eat something!". My response, "I can't do that! I might gain weight!".<br /><br />Stupid, stupid girl. I really was hungry. Why didn't I just eat? Because I was afraid of gaining weight. It's been my lifelong theme.<br /><br />I'm coming to terms with the idea of eating when I'm actually hungry. What's harder is coming to terms when it's something else and that something isn't thirsty or bored. What about rejection? Or the feeling of not being loved and cherished? Loneliness. Sadness. Past hurts. Current hurts. Fear. Feeling those emotions isn't fun. It would be easier to push them down with food. It's easier to just not think about the bad stuff.<br /><br />The thing I'm most amazed about is that this isn't the hardest guideline for me, although it's somewhat difficult facing all those emotions I use to smash down with food. I was sure it was going to be impossible. I was sure I'd want to go on a full out binge. Surprisingly I really have no desire to eat like a crazed, food obsessed mad woman.<br /><br />For the first time in 42 years, I think I know what it's like to eat like a normal person. Normal has always been my goal. I just want to feel normal about food, and I want to be a normal weight. <br /><br />I'm still early into this process, and I have a lot to learn about myself. It's only been five days and I'm sure there will be bumps in the road. I only know that in a short time I've made huge advances in how I feel about food, about myself. I feel more comfortable with my decisions of what I'm eating, more relaxed. Calm. <br /><br />Eat when hungry. Apparently it is possible for me.

What it means to me: Eating Guideline #1 Eat when hungry

When I first read Geneen Roth's Women Food and God last July, I was very excited. It was all I could talk about. I was about three fourt...

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We’re over the hump!

<p>Did you miss my WI post yesterday? Click <a href="http://weightloss-stories.blogspot.com/2010/10/10-reasons.html">here</a> to check it out!</p> <p>I’m getting low on oatmeal so today I had a packet of Quaker Oats Blueberry muffin oatmeal! I made it in to <strong>banana blueberry oatmeal</strong> for <strong>3 points</strong>! Surprisingly good combo!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNx4u48GBdKkpXtMGayFUI4XLYJQ2mxGtgnhXlJ45_mSg_uD18ROhlzxnJNAbF3HYYoHOW68MxsU4oEpl291T8U0-t2VNOs8n98WHZhtylkMoEfLqLadex2C42XIfwDc9e-LE6cE7eBkx1/s1600-h/DSC09013%5B3%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC09013" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipXGSVIyVZCLwmydmv3h6VfvLFRgrCaO_spwFtuhovh0zaiFiKTxe-4tC0Irpke0uYWHZWUULUdDtq6pOmUmPtHpbxrLF04guU8ARUWrUohmiCID80rJaWE0dY61eFU-8rVUCGp6HJOuje/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC09013" width="404"></a></p> <p>I sliced up a <strong>peach</strong> for my morning snack. I thought it was ripe, but it was quite light colored on the inside! Still tasted good though for only <strong>1 point</strong>!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIm1WpY28RxI49S7MDo69ihvpFpJHcJO5rlL6PDRQNx86lKTVviGMicFIWvuAUEvcVz3lAKo-QLffLlzCejtqq3FYWph2OwqKjWPtDizv9ycYOkIte-DpZRi5-j_xq1m6dnw5sfpoGBzqx/s1600-h/DSC09014%5B3%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC09014" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM5GE-v6Xin72B6wO6FJAhV31ug2438HGX9VUnXilQHE0v-sqoe9Rk6iAqQCdpRyLKCG_Qw9AZ8Z3pILw5XqLNOWYrMumHbd8hTvbfMy2zzRg4M_p5ooSrQZjnlfiZLD9DzZausf3Do7Yt/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC09014" width="404"></a></p> <p>It was a usual busy day & lunch was here before I knew it! I had a plate full of goodness consisting of <strong>carrot sticks</strong>, a <strong>ham & turkey sandwich</strong> with <strong>cheese</strong>…<img alt="DSC09016" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz41eyY8YWcywlq2oyLnRYNjJRI4DPQMYhoIkjt4bo0KwKRbJqKgTVMJDTFP8OC5ZV86XJdAsoKE031at1SnkL1A8d05ZBAegF5st50Ut2FigeXMCIgCjHu1-BRpoCVQWYq0AZlX2uQq0u/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC09016" width="404"></p> <p><strong>1/2c cottage cheese</strong>, and <strong>1 c grapes</strong> for a total of <strong>6 points</strong>.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJAvsdk4iA0Vl9GqK3K8-HRDpFGY4c55KH2Q6XgLcuLXffMatnxJCbfyqwriYbWKtwNT4tBb_RdhY4kQ_tXdhTrAvaTkXp80HB8msYZDZH-xezUSRiCjNnFNyaS6oy0LPZTPRPwO1I8xFy/s1600-h/DSC09015%5B7%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC09015" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhISXcH4HBkMMBUu3uvhv2L6CVklCqqr7ZGcdHj-0Sji1jEJO8ZeXtzMsL25vUnl-T0vbZ5Vz70Fk351RertFQE4fYRTnn9p0kWTmaNB9rFqhxwa9CU5Z7h374utlSWWShUw7GsYtxfxfyn/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC09015" width="404"></a></p> <p>I had BIG goals for my afternoon, trying to get some important reports done! By 5pm my eyes were going “buggy”!</p> <p>I came home for a nice quiet evening in!I ended up snacking on a serving of <strong>cottage cheese</strong> while cooking for <strong>2 points</strong>.</p> <p>Supper today was a “go-to” favorite combo of mine, <strong>2oz whole wheat pasta</strong>, <strong>sautéed zucchini</strong>, and <strong>1/4c 2% shredded mozzarella cheese</strong> for a total of <strong>5 points</strong>.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihQyVPwAfp4rfwJdqZP5ptsH7t2hLbUlmQneGrzRqlEjGVOgBYAc8mjFs0x0Rl78Cecr2wNbXl5WIQpody9sPGi7KXFNcvGr0FUO5d91l9hensLMuMaCgHTCuDOy4Dp_SQj5ri4OSN5ICI/s1600-h/DSC09017%5B3%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC09017" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiznoMRwkJWQEO3C3QcTPLtQG1RQ6NfGiUmLtRXGJ_9NOWSNExVPN9rfbU56-IuQsIzEKe1sNuD5WEUb82pA_kqQWpvS4LHI-BHX6FZwLUWQ9s2bK4Zan5IhbWYeIRCG6CazJKgkzhKz1iK/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC09017" width="404"></a></p> <p>Kyle and I finished our quiet night in with a glass of <strong>white wine</strong>! We don’t drink wine too often, but we’re on a mission to find one we love! I guess you could call us newbie's to the wine world! I had 1 small glass for<strong> 2 points</strong>. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNKhwV4tRFCsgpEZoKSuOIpZnxxy1gpjE7dkzpZaBKNjcfSahfsJL4KPDAZzLgrt0of6ICGcZ0bwgxWZ8BBeIHgYv4sY48LLB0v2CDqfmdTIwvh8qVvU4xPSsEtlJg_Xqsqwr8zNIW4OGv/s1600-h/DSC09018%5B4%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC09018" border="0" height="471" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCZLchhZq72lZCjskvwEuINajL08vSLy4EURkH4-FnYoLDBBQyOocPYlR2PPF7aRyjUTL7x6IdlwxE3bDCLKbFErDhi8w10LRPeV6cV3bB7BpYpkYffeOZfUKfLIdnUobx7DqAe8fvT3au/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC09018" width="354"></a> <strong>WEDNESDAY’S STATS <br></strong>POINTS = 19/23 <br>WEEKLY ALLOWANCE POINTS = 0 used/35 remaining <br>ACTIVITY POINTS EARNED = 0 today/4 week <br>H2O = 122 oz <br>EXERCISE = none</p> <p><strong><em>Are you a wine-o? Any good advice or suggestions for this newbie?</em></strong> <p>Lastly, check out my two news tabs at the top, <a href="http://weightloss-stories.blogspot.com/p/tips.html">tips</a> & <a href="http://weightloss-stories.blogspot.com/p/recipes.html">recipes</a>!</p>

We’re over the hump!

Did you miss my WI post yesterday? Click here to check it out! I’m getting low on oatmeal so today I had a packet of Quaker Oats Blueberry...

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Light, Shadow and Synergy ~ von Sternberg and Dietrich, Part III

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaddiQJ9_NAT8zWS3qg5tty2-JtQRNztxu20ONGXZ4WAeLQx-ch42uwaJenpQ5bXZA1rI2bkXObj_Dc2CPxTcOLFRUOV7U_qau_dDY-ZlEeK9soAJ8cDqaxlpXh28ltYeMR9IUxCeYE4nN/s1600/devil+poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaddiQJ9_NAT8zWS3qg5tty2-JtQRNztxu20ONGXZ4WAeLQx-ch42uwaJenpQ5bXZA1rI2bkXObj_Dc2CPxTcOLFRUOV7U_qau_dDY-ZlEeK9soAJ8cDqaxlpXh28ltYeMR9IUxCeYE4nN/s400/devil+poster.jpg" width="258" /></a></div><br /><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"><b>Scroll down for Parts I and II of <i>Light, Shadow and Synergy</i>...</b></span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: #990000;"> </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Arial;">In 1933, during a hiatus between studio contracts and filmmaking, Josef von Sternberg traveled to Germany to explore establishing Marlene Dietrich and himself at UFA, the studio where the two had made <b>The Blue Angel </b>three years earlier. Just as the director was returning to the U.S., recently appointed Reich Chancellor Adolf Hitler suspended the German constitution and soon began revoking the citizenship of Jewish artists and scholars; not much later came the burning of books. Back in America, von Sternberg, an Austrian Jew, and his star signed on once more with Paramount where the director's new contract gave him almost complete autonomy over his films.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">He later wryly reflected on his next (and last) two productions with Dietrich, “I completely subjugated my bird of paradise to my peculiar tendency to prove that a film might well be an art medium…”</span><br /><a name='more'></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Of the first of these, <b>The Scarlet Empress </b>(1934),<b> </b>von Sternberg recalled, “The film was, of course, a relentless excursion into style…the tapestry of the Russia of Catherine the Great was evoked in all its grandeur, though it was a re-creation not a replica…” </span> </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8mijMqT6AluVW_IR5Uvwzn5k80FgJ01nKk-VYc2V2WCHsa6q6qy_PIaH0BquzuA02iDJ27m0b0A2Jugac1p2OdiFTe4wG8LChO78B0w69FkHqFL853R8Q7dPyyMOoG4lzasuqrUNL3wya/s1600/scarlet+with+horse.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8mijMqT6AluVW_IR5Uvwzn5k80FgJ01nKk-VYc2V2WCHsa6q6qy_PIaH0BquzuA02iDJ27m0b0A2Jugac1p2OdiFTe4wG8LChO78B0w69FkHqFL853R8Q7dPyyMOoG4lzasuqrUNL3wya/s320/scarlet+with+horse.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Scarlet Empress</td></tr></tbody></table> <br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">"Based on a diary of Catherine II," von Sternberg’s re-creation follows the life of innocent young princess Sophia of Germany who is summoned to the Russian court to wed Grand Duke Peter (Sam Jaffe), a lunatic. Eventually adept at palace politics, the disillusioned royal wife (now called Catherine) becomes increasingly detached and power-obsessed, ultimately and victoriously seizing the throne in a coup. Along the way, she also becomes a powerful seductress whose countless lovers include a great number of soldiers in the Russian Army.</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Von Sternberg’s re-imagining of events was so opulent and unusual that audiences and critics may have been put off by its byzantine iconography, Grimm’s Fairytale-esque characters and overt eroticism. <b>The Scarlet Empress</b> was unlike any of the many other Hollywood-produced historical spectacles of the era. </span><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Critic Robin Wood suspected that "ironic tragedy and a kind of macabre farce" were so closely bound within the tone of the film that audiences and critics simply weren't ready for it.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><b>The Devil is a Woman</b> (1935), reveals von Sternberg and Dietrich at the pinnacle of their partnership, though it, too, failed to connect. Von Sternberg, uncompromisingly expressive, produced a masterwork - audiences and critics and foreign governments be damned...</span><br />  <br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVXwGOevBxjUnaWxE0uspl_CgvoHRpGkRX_9GUiOWkgbdKWZzO5vWyN-AMaws4NEPlDv35qt__G4b180ksWWqN4K1pw6MhSNf617OCNIpehLIAcgSE009wfk-4WSx-qrik8UXiuKvD2G7O/s1600/the+devil+is+a+woman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; height: 171px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; width: 211px;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="171" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVXwGOevBxjUnaWxE0uspl_CgvoHRpGkRX_9GUiOWkgbdKWZzO5vWyN-AMaws4NEPlDv35qt__G4b180ksWWqN4K1pw6MhSNf617OCNIpehLIAcgSE009wfk-4WSx-qrik8UXiuKvD2G7O/s200/the+devil+is+a+woman.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Devil is a Woman</td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The film begins in turn-of-the-century Spain at the outset of a carnival. Arriving on the scene is exiled freedom fighter Antonio Galvan (Cesar Romero) who flirts with Concha Perez (Dietrich), the local femme fatale. A tryst is arranged but before they meet Galvan encounters old friend Don Pasqual (Lionel Atwill) who relates in humiliating detail, told in flashback, how his enchantment with Concha ruined him. Pasqual makes the younger man promise not to see Concha again but Galvan and the woman do meet and this sparks a duel between the two men. Concha and Galvan run away together but Concha proves to be...capricious.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Arial;"><b>The Devil is a Woman</b> is a visual carnival. Von Sternberg saturates the screen in every scene with layer upon layer of filigree and texture (streamers, confetti, balloons, masks, scarves, veils, mantillas, sequins, bouquets, shutters, screens, baskets, stairways, archways, ironwork, birds, horses, sheep, trees, rain, mist, plumes of smoke). It is also a witty flamenco demonstrating the futility and absurdity of enslavement to superficial beauty and romantic ideals. Strains of Rimsky-Korsakov's "Capriccio Espagnol" punctuate this cruel and ironic tableau...</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Arial;">Dietrich portrays Concha, the spoiled and wily coquette, with an operatic flamboyance reflected in every gesture and inflection, in her makeup, costumes and coiffures. </span><span style="font-family: Arial;">Lionel Atwill is at his best, and most notice that his performance as Pasqual is an artful take on von Sternberg himself. Cesar Romero is charming as the younger fool; Edward Everett Horton is a droll choice as the local governor.</span></div><br /><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">As the production was ending, von Sternberg wrote a note to Dietrich about their final film, "My parting gift to you will be the greatest "Dietrich film" yet. In it, I give you all my talent. You will see the ultimate Dietrich and it will be your favorite of our seven films."</span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span><br /><br /><div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">In the end, it was Dietrich's favorite film, not just among those she made with von Sternberg but of all her films; she felt it contained her best performance and showcased her at her most beautiful. But, she also remembered, “Josef von Sternberg’s decision, against my will, to terminate our collaboration – to which the studio executives probably also contributed – marked for me the beginning of a long series of mediocre films.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"> <br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi73dFewu-1NGTo4OYFSHb0nLvz3TB0h-6Cwww8NY1g_lJDyupKBKkGfrBM11yKf594IdKptVIIi9ZKJ-tlQCyqjl7isgHXOxkNJ_QbvO6V09muPFGCzl_wX2akoITluegw6cF7O0vANozC/s1600/destry.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="156" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi73dFewu-1NGTo4OYFSHb0nLvz3TB0h-6Cwww8NY1g_lJDyupKBKkGfrBM11yKf594IdKptVIIi9ZKJ-tlQCyqjl7isgHXOxkNJ_QbvO6V09muPFGCzl_wX2akoITluegw6cF7O0vANozC/s200/destry.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Destry Rides Again</td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: Arial;">Dietrich, whose screen goddess persona became more fixed and formal (her daughter observed that her mother's image was no longer recreated but simply perpetuated), managed to rebound. I</span><span style="font-family: Arial;">n her autobiography Dietrich wrote that, in 1939, producer Joe Pasternak called her to say he was willing to take a risk and make a picture with her (she was by now "box office poison"). When told it was a Western, her instinctive reaction was to turn it down. However, she wrote, “Josef von Sternberg advised me to take the offer.” Her comeback in <b>Destry Rides Again</b> (1939) <b></b>was one of the most dramatic in Hollywood history and she went on to become an enduring legend.</span><br /><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaXmY0rY3zrNDyrl6zmdywtbCUkLA9eFfMJCP-qsWtGU21AYa0XC_bY4jbJwPXBtoA_yM2F26t0m8qMnJBY4KurO3O0jDoxH39ipcbd7pnDUnhytCH_QcQoOkHY-It5aY47K2bw0ZCd_o0/s1600/shanghai+gesture.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="152" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaXmY0rY3zrNDyrl6zmdywtbCUkLA9eFfMJCP-qsWtGU21AYa0XC_bY4jbJwPXBtoA_yM2F26t0m8qMnJBY4KurO3O0jDoxH39ipcbd7pnDUnhytCH_QcQoOkHY-It5aY47K2bw0ZCd_o0/s200/shanghai+gesture.png" width="200" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Shanghai Gesture</td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: Arial;">Von Sternberg directed only a handful of films in his remaining career. Though a 1937 production of <b>I, Claudius</b>, starring Charles Laughton and Merle Oberon was promising, it was never completed; <b>The Shanghai Gesture</b> (1941) is the best known of his post-Dietrich films. The director's final film, <b>Ana-ta-han </b>(1953) was made in Japan, in Japanese with the director's own voice providing English narration.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Josef von Sternberg was fortunate enough to be "rediscovered" during his lifetime. <b>The Devil is a Woman </b>had become a "lost film." Pulled from circulation in 1935 under pressure from the government of Spain, all prints were thought to have been destroyed. But in 1959 the Venice Film Festival screened von Sternberg's own print; both film and filmmaker were showered with accolades. He became the subject of documentaries, wrote his idiosyncratic autobiography, <u>Fun in a Chinese Laundry</u>, and lectured on film at UCLA. Today his work is regularly studied in film programs and screened at festivals and retrospectives around the world.</span><br /><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br /></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Dietrich would always give von Sternberg full credit for her success, “I was nothing but pliable material on the infinitely rich palette of his ideas and imaginative faculties.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Von Sternberg's assessment was slightly different, “I did not endow her with a personality that was not her own…I gave her nothing that she did not already have. What I did was to dramatize her attributes and make them visible for all to see...”</span><br /> </div></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitcQ8q_MZh2bv0_lHHnQdXW4ksCYrRFsi33J0eYmlTIQaGpx5kj59eLPjoHCEthvq8Z-DRDE7UyjXt565sZXvsY8C2eT3fcmsuUX1f-50I0JR1TURDbUiB6oeY6xd4CDz_x5XWudscD_o2/s1600/von+sternberg+oberon+laughton%5B1%5D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitcQ8q_MZh2bv0_lHHnQdXW4ksCYrRFsi33J0eYmlTIQaGpx5kj59eLPjoHCEthvq8Z-DRDE7UyjXt565sZXvsY8C2eT3fcmsuUX1f-50I0JR1TURDbUiB6oeY6xd4CDz_x5XWudscD_o2/s400/von+sternberg+oberon+laughton%5B1%5D.jpg" width="293" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">von Sternberg, Oberon and Laughton</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><i><span style="font-family: Arial;">Released this August by Criterion,</span></i><i><span style="font-family: Arial;"> <b>3 Silents by Josef von Sternberg</b>  - the set includes his signature work of the late silent era - <b>Underworld</b> (1927), <b>The Last Command</b> (1928) and <b>Docks of New York</b> (1928).</span></i></div></div><div></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>

Cesar Romero Charles Laughton Joe Pasternak Josef von Sternberg Light Shadow and Synergy Lionel Atwill Marlene Dietrich Merle Oberon Sam Jaffe The Lady Eve (author) Light, Shadow and Synergy ~ von Sternberg and Dietrich, Part III

Scroll down for Parts I and II of Light, Shadow and Synergy ... In 1933, during a hiatus between studio contracts and filmmaking, Josef von...

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Healing thyself

During the past four days I've come the realization just how sick I was when it came to food. I have abused it my entire life. <br /><br />Tonight as I was eating dinner, distraction free, I realized this is the first time I wasn't either on a diet of some kind or in the midst of a full-blown binge. I'm a black and white kind of gal, either I'm on a diet or I'm not. If I'm not, then it's a literal food fest, eating anything and everything in sight.<br /><br />For four days I've eaten like a "normal" person. I haven't binged, eaten in the middle of the night, or eaten mindlessly. I haven't stuffed myself until my tummy hurt. I haven't eaten in front of the TV or while reading reading a book or while on the laptop. I haven't had crazy cravings or felt like I was going to die if I didn't eat something or in some cases, everything.<br /><br />I also haven't abused my new found freedom. I'm eating a few things I haven't eaten in a really long time. Today instead of Stevia I added honey to my Greek yogurt.<br /><br />Dinner tonight was a very small piece of top sirloin steak, broiled to perfection. The piece was pretty small, but I cut it into small bites and savored each one. I had red bell pepper slices drizzled with real blue cheese dressing. Not a lot, but enough so that each piece had a small amount. I had Brussels sprouts again, but without Smart Balance, just a little sea salt. My beverage was a glass of milk of 1% milk. It was a very tasty and enjoyable dinner. I felt totally satisfied.<br /><br />This morning I made my favorite soup. It's a South Beach recipe, Chicken and Veggie Chowder (the recipe is at the end of this post). In the past when I'd make this soup, I'd cook the chicken separately and then careful weigh four ounces of chicken for each serving. Today I just added all the cut-up chicken breasts in with everything else, just like the recipe says you're suppose to do. It'll all work out in the end. This is part of my healing process, to stop being so compulsive about my food, always worrying about it. Always trying to be exactly perfect in my eating. It's exhausting.<br /><br />I'm trying to look at food differently. Instead of it being my main source of pleasure as well as my main source of pain, I'm trying to look at it for what it really is...a source of nutrition for my body. If it tastes good, that's a bonus, and then it also becomes a source of pleasure. <br /><br />I'm also trying to listen to my body more, not my mind. Of course my mind would like candy and cake and ice cream. My body, not so much. I didn't post this last week because it was embarrassing, but Monday of last week, in the midst of my cold, I had a pint of ice cream, Ben and Jerry's Heath Bar. I ate the whole thing. The I ate an entire package of vanilla Oreos. An entire package. I was so sick I thought I was going to die. I had night sweats from the sugar. Horrible night sweats where I was drenched. I think if my body could have killed me at that moment, it would have. The funny thing, none of it tasted that good. Probably because I had a cold, but it really wasn't worth it.<br /><br />Another discovery these past few days is that I really hate coffee. I've always hated it. It's okay if you add sugar and milk, but plain coffee, yuk. Yet I've been drinking it, along with a few caffeine pills here and there and then sleeping pills at night. It's a miracle my body didn't just shut down a long time ago because of the abuse I've dumped on it. I've almost entirely cut out the coffee, and have stopped the caffeine pills and sleeping pills entirely<br /><br />I've been thinking about all the diet plans I've been on in my life. The list is endless. Every single one of them was restrictive, and I would follow them perfectly, 100%. For a certain amount of time. Then, I'd reach my breaking point and all bets were off. I'd become a crazed, food obsessed nut case.<br /><br />The hardest part for me is the math. Stopping myself from doing the math in my head. I know the calories, fat grams, carbs in almost every food. I know the Weight Watcher Points as well. When I'm preparing a meal I find myself adding up the items. I have to consciously tell myself to "STOP IT!". It's not important right now. <br /><br />Also, for the record, I'm not following any diet. I was thinking back to when I felt my healthiest and was when I was eating the foods recommended by the South Beach Diet. Since I'm not on a "diet", I'm not following the SB Diet per se, but I did enjoy the foods on that "diet" the most. The difference though is if I want a little honey in my oatmeal or my yogurt, I'm going to have it. <br /><br />I'm really curious how this week is going to end. Will I gain weight? Will I lose weight? Will I be furious if I gain a couple pounds? I'm trying to keep an open mind about this. It's an experiment, to see if I can be normal when it comes to food. To see if I can really heal thyself.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju7FQgdUZyXTz5WeIbSgIynkOdmwx6esSCJjLI0uGoVaBPk9F6zy1LMGqWvJdq9c4eRcRUgDH2ZyvEygP43VwuNSprayMCYz1896XGLB2uI6wJWB4qRZPUfkbUPZ-E207LlJv6hh4C1Ed1/s1600/recipe.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju7FQgdUZyXTz5WeIbSgIynkOdmwx6esSCJjLI0uGoVaBPk9F6zy1LMGqWvJdq9c4eRcRUgDH2ZyvEygP43VwuNSprayMCYz1896XGLB2uI6wJWB4qRZPUfkbUPZ-E207LlJv6hh4C1Ed1/s640/recipe.png" width="516" /></a></div>

Healing thyself

During the past four days I've come the realization just how sick I was when it came to food. I have abused it my entire life. Tonight a...

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10 Reasons…

<p>Howdy friends! Tuesday = WI day for me! Remember the past 2 weeks? I had no loss, I was stuck at 165. Well I’d like you to read something for me!</p> <p><strong><u>10 reasons why I didn’t stress over the scale being “stuck”!</u></strong></p> <ol> <li><strong>13.5 lbs</strong> – In the 4 weeks prior to this I had lost 13.5lbs, quite a large amount of weight to lose in a short time. I knew it would eventually slow down. <li><strong>Comments</strong> – I think I got more comments in those 2 weeks when my weight was “stuck” than all year long, “Darci, are you losing weight?” “You are sure looking fit!” If that isn’t motivating, I don’t know what is?!?! My body was still changing even though I didn’t see the change on the scale. <li><strong>Eat</strong> – You have to eat to lose weight! The majority of those 2 weeks I ate all or more than my allotted points. Sometimes I’ll have a snack after doing my post just to make sure I’m getting in my daily points.  <li><strong>Fluctuate</strong>– We all know it, depending on the time of day/week/month, your weight can vary greatly! <li><strong>Journey</strong> – Weight loss/fitness is a journey, not a destination! This journey is more than just 2 weeks. <li><strong>Other</strong> – I like to use other forms of “measurement” to determine how I’m doing on this journey. Example: I wore a pair of jeans I hadn’t worn in quite a few months! <li><strong>Patience</strong> – period. <li><strong>Success</strong> – I do not let the number on the scale determine how I’m doing on this journey. Yes it is one way to gauge your progress, but it does not control my outlook on the overall picture. I knew I was doing what I needed to! <li><strong>Tone</strong> – It’s very possible for your body to still be changing shape & size without seeing the scale go down. <li>And the last, but not least, I knew the scale would move again…today it said, <strong><font size="5">163</font></strong>! <em>A 2 lb loss!</em> <em>15.5lbs</em> gone since I started back on plan on August 23rd and <em>39 lbs gone</em> since I started this journey nearly 2 years ago!!!</li></ol> <p>I had the perfect breakfast this morning, leftovers! I had<strong> 2 pumpkin pancakes</strong> for <strong>5 points</strong> <a href="http://weightloss-stories.blogspot.com/2010/10/saturday.html">left over from Saturday</a>. If you have tried these yet, you MUST!!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4UFcRlgw2G4odF1EwmI6r9M9Uyl9JlFIfZiEBl6f3uATTCDZrAwu58ywXb5IIB_BJrMCtX1eZuLqSekwKiOx3iPsyBwkRdL318Ysz8phZPIYnyd8svElNHOnV_ZXf0hyphenhyphenXsRqO0sb78_t6/s1600-h/DSC09005%5B1%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC09005" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQHoP99rxSopJHY0kyhMjSfpV6-a5d-X8VLELM98s9pAOLrFWOEbCUWRkYU1EWnh-QrwTRj9ZFjhMNdEf_RHhqCuv_1Uk207aCou2__YBp0gHZpGx2vefb0m44TFxsw72Or9LNGAyWApTr/?imgmax=800" style="border-top-width: 0px; display: block; border-left-width: 0px; float: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; border-right-width: 0px" title="DSC09005" width="404"></a></p> <p>My morning at work flew by and my pancakes held me over nicely! Lunch today was delish! I had <strong>1 c butternut squash</strong> with <strong>1T</strong> of <strong>brown sugar</strong> for <strong>2 points</strong>. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS4dr5fbv8NDvqyRB6DZI68EQZ3h6MgC420BdsjlYLlfuVryZLUhxX0-iceFgVHdVSO2d1T6nLhSFL63HZMO02zc-jH5d08YFmN0c3_YRKqEDTtBomaSHagfONfYBD5Q-wZqo9spUdrtNv/s1600-h/DSC09006%5B1%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC09006" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir04BEocQstXtSLVeUehaI8z1Y1-Z2efKUwHAZ__n7yC4VznH_qhlEZaHDG4mOsT8-WN90pSD7zdeTc1h3BPT7r2gjynLjfLhtmOjDq6C8_CAJoNSvI2G5dCgRJUqf2SzacUH4QeIuVJDA/?imgmax=800" style="border-top-width: 0px; display: block; border-left-width: 0px; float: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; border-right-width: 0px" title="DSC09006" width="404"></a></p> <p>I also had a <strong>chicken salad sandwich</strong> with <strong>swiss cheese</strong> for <strong>4 points</strong>. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW7rRsKVnZgfs3CufOMQhYdmi1tzPfXoyrBKW_Og1C4pJcjyKNo3PCXfc9E9xb9QmbQB6e_54WQvOVwGPQBcd-oVmAmJB-n3Z5nhfHEX9l0GDqtQ8R-FmEYBONuQmdI_b8A2T6B1h3B6Qg/s1600-h/DSC09007%5B1%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC09007" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvNTzJjmJB-tcHUolTAjLu7rPKu5kPolQ22T7oqsmZmJrmycj0jnwj6QTlk8b-HI78tG8XLTDSMNCVbGmEfhJV3S_s-O5vSGsB2mkr9lSOVE905GpuMDLvn-7xrWP9SC9pXjT5RoOiK8Ar/?imgmax=800" style="border-top-width: 0px; display: block; border-left-width: 0px; float: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; border-right-width: 0px" title="DSC09007" width="404"></a></p> <p>I couldn’t resist these guys anymore! Remember my friend <a href="http://weightloss-stories.blogspot.com/2010/10/saturday.html">Jenna & her Mom from Saturday</a>. Well they made these delicious <strong>1 point apple cinnamon muffins</strong> for me! Super easy & quite tasty!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfnLponjkBx6TErMp9Vh6xowW22ltbvz7SFz0AM-3ywUzeKSQM4v-xuWg6cebs16Mf01grOsu2nVgbYmehhBFensmFIlPSVx_wZbJvxOycJ_vJZQ_wSaYs1xwhzp30QM4P2pZwXFI7L8JE/s1600-h/DSC09008%5B1%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC09008" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYY9B5ZgC-zOMlVs2NeJO82wT1CRA_aXyp9i71hzJ428RHSGpofqQLDBjRchIqMsPQlpwUt3yj9BAaT6kVgOt0nv_ZljV3mCgBfPyrdqpfcW9Fwm0OcBtGe1R4Yx6k94Tb9erbsoj-ZEMU/?imgmax=800" style="border-top-width: 0px; display: block; border-left-width: 0px; float: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; border-right-width: 0px" title="DSC09008" width="404"></a><b>Ingredients</b></p> <p>1 box Fiber One Apple Cinnamon Muffin Mix (dry).<br>1/2 cup "Better N' Eggs" egg substitute.<br>1 large apple chopped <br>3/4 cup water </p> <p><b>Directions</b> <p>-Chop apple in food processor until almost liquid.<br>-Add the remaining ingredients and mix just until moistened.<br>-Pour into 12 large muffin cups (greased).<br>-Bake at 425 for 15 - 20 minutes until golden brown and tops spring back when touched.<br>Number of Servings: 12</p> <p>My <a href="http://weightloss-stories.blogspot.com/2010/10/reveal.html">SIL</a>, Laura, came over to hang out for the evening & go on a run! Kyle joined us too! We chatted & Kyle entertained us the whole way! We got in 2.4 miles and Kyle & Laura stopped off at our house. I got in another 1.1 miles and finished <strong>3.52 miles</strong> in <strong>39 minutes</strong>. </p> <p align="center"><em>We are strong. We are beautiful. We are women.</em> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN9oH8k7gZOa2lE9_HuDJio7qzcGSekINoiyBnEJCbqFyE34z_NXnW9wGWC91ZEjvov6AbzhhCyMt9JahDWYpmJIo7nZ6o0qEOP78mxnUyYTaydNfXVdBkPq-l6CJJs6l6SkonxMI1j-F4/s1600-h/DSC09009%5B2%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC09009" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP3_sqQR7qVl8hbdXRgXqnQMuXgq5qOzF8rFg3u9Hv49L8qE5vRNZFxevxfhKOpqpwrNvzbAi_5oJ3Hs_yn0MEo4cAC5PMJFzl88lJQuxBeWjKFV1WswizxBam8pgIE1S5a3QgCl2Jya7d/?imgmax=800" style="border-top-width: 0px; display: block; border-left-width: 0px; float: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; border-right-width: 0px" title="DSC09009" width="404"></a></p> <p align="left">I made grilled chicken…<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUUqde5ZuU3cddkhTRz2KcZl5W_FDq0mZ6GrSs-pcNkqlF8-CYKa0rdiIfYlzr7aU6OPQ3X4bHSCeOQ5wwd0SG0KL9v6013zFnGjM4WUBcag1taD_ko6QdX5gxm7L5I3moE5BaEkpSXURi/s1600-h/DSC09011%5B1%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC09011" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7qeoAOcj_8bh-KTy4rJ_nanX4sbVa2VNEHfVD8irz-enaFdu6saYdLDGBUzKonvBzdPfErAZR9FqLxDF_pVELFNkNTJ0BAYy5oXNzcvzPqCM0m-138g7YiNKs8702XI_5dlo3g8HozJUQ/?imgmax=800" style="border-top-width: 0px; display: block; border-left-width: 0px; float: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; border-right-width: 0px" title="DSC09011" width="404"></a></p> <p align="left">…and<strong> roasted veggies</strong> for a total of <strong>7 points</strong>. Mmmm good!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkzzVGkgK0qaEDBxsMRM4U0g7hfBdh_XIcN-aHqUJ9d6qubZJhstg15KrpZX2iIcIXCM0WZbNbTzF5ltpBvOTmdrDzbE8pNgrVm5EC6f4aJUxdfeFsvDPmGg8PpyuVsaZ7qFWhIP1cbRTw/s1600-h/DSC09012%5B1%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC09012" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs4EZB9R8ijmWpEfWj2wfW7lYWMQoNvyZZoOMhX8hWT_PxIQnMngXAoOI9Pd3Shn4q7NtMhK0MI2TmKHltby07Nk3TlPiW8km-dnPDReT0LaLj81M4XotBVAbQ26S0tEYmpooFE-85Pm9r/?imgmax=800" style="border-top-width: 0px; display: block; border-left-width: 0px; float: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; border-right-width: 0px" title="DSC09012" width="404"></a></p> <p align="left">And lastly, happy 1 month to my sweet nephew, Hayden! Check out what I was doing 1 month ago today, <a href="http://weightloss-stories.blogspot.com/2010/09/hes-here.html">here</a>!<a href="http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=31341636&id=210201033"><img height="400" src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs067.snc4/34717_534087529253_210201033_31357482_7524310_n.jpg" style="display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto" width="300"></a><strong>TUESDAY’S STATS <br></strong>POINTS = 19/23 <br>WEEKLY ALLOWANCE POINTS = 0 used/35 remaining <br>ACTIVITY POINTS EARNED = 4 today/4 week <br>H2O = 146 oz <br>EXERCISE = 3.52 mile run </p> <p><strong><em>So tell me your experience, when you weren’t seeing the numbers on the scale go down, what did you do to stay positive?</em></strong></p>

10 Reasons…

Howdy friends! Tuesday = WI day for me! Remember the past 2 weeks? I had no loss, I was stuck at 165. Well I’d like you to read something fo...

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6 Crazy Job Search Tactics

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://emj.icbdr.com/artieimages/z8/ar5l02w6rgcsd9l0v8z8.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ex="true" src="http://emj.icbdr.com/artieimages/z8/ar5l02w6rgcsd9l0v8z8.gif" /></a></div>Taking a non-traditional approach to a job search can be a good thing. <br /><br />Take the case of Alec Brownstein, an advertising professional who found himself looking for a new job last summer. Fed up with the traditional job search, he decided to try an unprecedented tactic. <br /><br />Banking on the fact that "everyone Googles themselves," he bought sponsored links attached to the names of top-advertising directors. So, when the directors Googled themselves, Brownstein's ads would appear at the top of the results page. The ads reportedly said "Hey, [creative director's name]: Goooogling [sic] yourself is a lot of fun. Hiring me is fun, too" -- and then provided a link to Bronstein's website. A few months (and only six dollars) later, Brownstein was employed by top-advertising firm Young & Rubicam. <br /><br />But, for every unconventional job search strategy that works, there is another that not only doesn't lead to a job, but is just downright ridiculous. Below, job seekers and hiring managers tell us about the strangest job search tactics they've come across. <br /><br />1. "One of my clients received the following advice from a previous career coach: Never send a résumé when applying for a job, even when it is requested in the advertisement. Just send a pitch letter requesting a meeting with a company executive." -- Lavie Margolin, job search advisor,<br /><br />Lion Cub Job Search<br /><br />2. "I think this may be the craziest one I have ever heard. When I was looking for my first full time job, a friend's then-girlfriend (now ex-wife) told me, quite seriously, that I could assure myself a job by participating in a magical ritual involving crystals and mystical incantations. I asked her if I needed to sacrifice a chicken as well and she was offended explaining that it was not the correct type of 'Magick' [sic]." -- Eli Lehrer, national director, Center on Finance, Insurance and Real Estate, The Heartland Institute<br /><br />3. "I think the worst advice I ever saw was in a LinkedIn group. Someone suggested that, in order to be able to get a chance to speak to someone at the recruiting company, you should [mail] a cover letter saying you have enclosed your CV -- but don't enclose the CV, and leave the envelope open so that it looks like it fell out in the post. The logic was that they'd then call you up to let you know, and you could have a dialogue. I personally would just think 'That person can't even seal an envelope, I wouldn't want to recruit them.'" -- Antony, marketing manager<br /><br />4. "I have gotten some strange advice in my day -- one of the milder ones was to tape a plastic spoon to my CV and write on it (the letter), 'Need to eat.' But the one that takes the cake is to stand at a busy intersection in the upper-west part of midtown Manhattan wearing one of those sandwich boards -- a bulletin board that you wear, full body length -- over a nice suit that reads something like, 'Will write for food' or some variation therein. I am reaching the point where I am even considering it, though I'd request a full-time position rather than food because I fear that some employers might take me up on the offer: Write a story, get a sandwich!" -- Ed Lieber, freelance editor/writer<br /><br />5. "I used to know someone who would comb the obituary section of the New York Times for job openings" -- Paul Solomon, Solo Management<br /><br />6. "The absolute most-crazy search advice that I have heard has been typically coming from supposed job search gurus and career coaches who advise job seekers to pare down their universe of job prospects to focus only on the most promising ones. As someone who has looked at hundreds of thousands of sales prospects that I have generated for my sales teams over the past decades, I can state with conviction that it is impossible to tell which prospects are the best, which might lead to other prospects that are good and which are not worth wasting one's time on at an early stage in the process. By following the crazy advice that I have just described, a job candidate is really blowing his or her chances to get the best job that s/he can. <br /><br />My advice to job seekers in 2010 is the same as my advice is to salespeople just starting out in a tough market: you need to increase the 'two Qs' of your efforts to increase results: quantity and quality. Basically, you must increase the quantity of prospects that you are working on (i.e., the number of job opportunities) and you must increase the quality of your effort on these prospects (e.g,., have a custom strategy to differentiate yourself for each opportunity, stay in contact more frequently, have better planned contacts, etc.). Ultimately, you must work harder and work smarter to achieve your goals in tough times." -- JR Rodrigues , co-founder, JRBM Software<br /><br />By Kaitlin Madden writer and blogger for CareerBuilder.com and its job blog, The Work Buzz. She researches and writes about job search strategy, career management, hiring trends and workplace issues. Follow @CBForJobSeekers on Twitter.

6 Crazy Job Search Tactics

Taking a non-traditional approach to a job search can be a good thing. Take the case of Alec Brownstein, an advertising professional who fou...

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I'm Experiencing Job-Search Burnout - How to handle the frustration of a long-term job hunt

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://emj.icbdr.com/artieimages/yq/ar5l5bf5wvmxlsmjvfyq.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ex="true" src="http://emj.icbdr.com/artieimages/yq/ar5l5bf5wvmxlsmjvfyq.gif" /></a></div>If life were a movie and you had just been laid off, you would buy a one-way ticket to some serene location and spend weeks or even months relaxing. You would unwind and examine your personal goals and return when you want. You might spend your days eating, praying and loving.<br /><br />For most of us, getting laid off or quitting a job is immediately followed by a fast-paced job hunt. Even workers who are fortunate enough to have savings accounts to live off of for a while don't have enough money to pretend like unemployment is a vacation. Instead, most jobs seekers attack their job searches aggressively and don't relent until they hear the words, "We'd like to offer you the position."<br /><br />The problem with such a steadfast approach is that you can grow frustrated quickly. After a few weeks of constantly browsing job postings, writing cover letters, sending them off, and repeating, your don't have the energy to keep going. You can't stop, however, because you do need a job. So how do you avoid getting burnt out? And if you realize you're in the midst of a job-search burnout, how should you get over it?<br /><br />We asked people who have been there themselves or who have helped others get through it. Here's how they suggest job seekers handle burnout:<br /><br />"Rejection is humbling and much of our self-worth has been defined by our income. To avoid burnout: <br /><br />· Date your next job application and interview. See it as distinct and different from all the rest, a new opportunity. You only need one job success. <br /><br />· Keep up energy levels with exercise. You will shed stress and release endorphins. Your focus will improve. <br /><br />· Socialize with friends and talk about other things. Have fun and laugh! <br /><br />· Learn from failed interviews to tweak your resume, presentation and skills. Hone up on what you are lacking."<br /><br />- Debbie Mandel, author of "Addicted to Stress"<br /><br />"Burnout is subtle, and can strike at lots of stages of the job hunt. Here are a few ways I advise my clients to avoid that low down burnout experience:<br /><br />1. Regard your job hunt as a job and organize your job hunt day like any other business. Set a goal of the number of calls you'll make, and resumes you'll send out each day, and be sure to reach that. <br /><br />2. Create a job hunt team or group with whom you keep in contact on a regular basis. This can help in many ways to give encouragement, and even job leads. <br /><br />3. Make sure to network through alumni, colleagues, professional associations, online groups, and even relative and friends. <br /><br />4. Be sure to maintain a routine of physical fitness and exercise. At least a brisk walk every day can supply exercise and sunshine necessary to keep your mood elevated. <br /><br />5. Get up, get dressed and go to your office every day, just like you would if you were employed. "<br /><br />- Sandra Lamb, career, lifestyle and etiquette expert<br /><br />"I always say you get more than you give with volunteering and job seekers definitely do. This is a great way to keep your skills sharp (think teamwork, client relations, fundraising, etc) and your mind energized. I have to remind all job seekers that volunteering is a fun and easy way to network which makes it a win-win-win. You're networking, helping out an organization and avoiding burn-out."<br /><br />- Adriana Llames, author of "Career Sudoku: 9 Ways to Win the Job Search Game"<br /><br />"I've been looking for a job since about February or March. I just landed a part-time, telecommuting job, and as busy as I've been I know I'm not as fast or productive as I once was because of how long it took me to find a job. I was sending our résumés, interviewing, networking, applying online to the high heavens. Sitting at home while everyone else was finding a job I started feeling unproductive, and, frankly, like a loser. But things are looking up, and to anyone who starts to feel the same way I did, I'd tell them to just pull through it. Sometimes just taking a walk or a day at the park can help your mood a lot."<br /><br />- Akua Harris<br /><br />"There are several things we suggest when a person has stayed active in a job search, and nothing seems to be happening:<br /><br />1. Take a few days off: Think of something you enjoy doing that doesn't cost any money and go and enjoy. Sometimes just a few days off is enough to refresh a person.<br /><br />2. Get physical: When a person exercises for at least 20 minutes, endorphins are released that make the person feel good. Exercise several times in a day if possible. If [you are] a runner, then run for 30 minutes longer than usual. Do something physical -- paint a room, wash the car, clean the garage. Then energy can return.<br /><br />3. Our experience is people get burned out when all they are doing is answering want ads or Internet listings. We project a 2-4 percent response on mailing out résumés or following up on Internet postings -- that's not a very good response. Instead, we ask our job-seeking clients to take a more pro-active approach: Contact the decision-maker (usually the person who supervises the position, not HR) and ask what the job involves and be ready to talk about one's experiences and accomplishment, [and] research the organization to see if it's one a person would like to work in. Continue researching the position; if you want the job contact the decision-maker again and say, "I've thought a lot about what we've talked about, and what you need doing involves some of the things I do best -- and I want to be your top candidate." (You don't want to be anything other than their top candidate, do you?) Ask the decision-maker what you can bring to her or him to help the person make a decision. And then do it."<br /><br />- Richard S. Deems, co-author of "Make Job Loss Work For You," with Terri A. Deems<br /><br />By Anthony Balderrama writer and blogger for CareerBuilder.com and its job blog, The Work Buzz. He researches and writes about job search strategy, career management, hiring trends and workplace issues.

I'm Experiencing Job-Search Burnout - How to handle the frustration of a long-term job hunt

If life were a movie and you had just been laid off, you would buy a one-way ticket to some serene location and spend weeks or even months r...

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How to Not Take the Job Rejection Personally

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://emj.icbdr.com/artieimages/0k/ar5l5dm6fkp8r6pjwn0k.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ex="true" src="http://emj.icbdr.com/artieimages/0k/ar5l5dm6fkp8r6pjwn0k.gif" /></a></div>Whether it's a call from an interviewer saying that the company decided to go with a different candidate or a mass e-mail notifying all applicants that the position they applied for has been filled, rejection is difficult to stomach. And while you know that countless others are facing this same scenario, sometimes it is hard not to feel that maybe it isn't the economy but something inherent about you that's keeping job offers from happening. Here, experts share three strategies on how to stop taking job rejection personally.<br /><br />1. Don't wallow alone<br /><br />"When members receive a rejection, the first thing we recommend is that they call their mentor or member of choice who can give them support," says Valentina Janek, president of the Long Island Breakfast Club -- a support group of job seekers. "Secondly, on that very day, we recommend the individual dust himself off, get dressed and go do something positive and enjoyable. The worst thing is to be alone and internalize the rejection."<br /><br />Speaking with others who have experienced the frustration of trying to find a job can help put things into perspective, especially for the long-term unemployed. While it still isn't fun to have to pound the pavement again, fellow job seekers can act as motivators, point out your positive attributes and assist you in figuring out your next step.<br /><br />2. Clear your head of personal attacks<br /><br />After receiving a rejection, your brain may become loaded with negative messages about your employability. Instead of letting these thoughts destroy your confidence, try to replace them with other possible reasons why somebody else was hired.<br /><br />"It is important to understand that sometimes employers make decisions based on factors or traits that are out of a candidate's control," says Brenda Fabian, director of the center for career services at Susquehanna University in Selinsgrove, Pa. "An employer might choose to hire a candidate based on a recommendation from a colleague, an advantage you simply didn't have. An employer may be more drawn to another candidate because that candidate is from the same geographic area. Recognize that the timing simply may not have been right and that future opportunities could be available with that same employer."<br /><br />3. Take action<br /><br />The sting from rejection and those feelings of personal doubt will disappear much faster if the ultimate goal of finding a position is met. Thus, it pays to focus on revitalizing your job search and finding ways to boost confidence.<br /><br />"Job seekers can separate the personal from the professional by empowering themselves so as not to feel like they are not getting the job because of personal shortcomings," says Lizandra Vega, author of "The Image of Success: Make a Great Impression and Land the Job You Want" and co-founder of Perennial Resources International, a New York City-based boutique search firm. <br /><br />Some ways people might try to gain greater control over their situation include:<br /><br />Exercising and eating healthy to look and feel their best. <br /><br />Countering the perception that "nobody is even looking at me" by participating in job fairs and other networking opportunities involving face-time. <br /><br />Taking classes to freshen up an application or to get rid of self-perceived educational gaps. <br /><br />Trying a new job-search method or tactic. (Vega suggests considering a video résumé where potential employers can see and hear you.) <br /><br />Volunteering, consulting or doing temp work to sharpen skills and meet new people.<br /><br />The bottom line is that if you don't believe you are worthy of a job, employers won't either. It is critical to shake off feelings of personal inadequacy as quickly as possible by doing whatever is necessary to boost self-confidence, for when you feel good about the package you bring to an employer's table, rejection feels less personal and more like just a common (though unpleasant) part of searching for a job.<br /><br />By Beth Braccio Hering who researches and writes about job search strategy, career management, hiring trends and workplace issues for CareerBuilder.com. Follow @CBForJobSeekers on Twitter.

How to Not Take the Job Rejection Personally

Whether it's a call from an interviewer saying that the company decided to go with a different candidate or a mass e-mail notifying all ...

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10 Things Smart Job Seekers Do

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://emj.icbdr.com/artieimages/p6/ar5l41d7333cxc1443p6.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ex="true" src="http://emj.icbdr.com/artieimages/p6/ar5l41d7333cxc1443p6.gif" /></a></div>What separates the smart job seeker from others looking for employment? Oftentimes, it is one of these 10 things:<br /><br />1. They realize a potential job lead could be anywhere.<br /><br />Smart job seekers aren't afraid to mention occupational aspirations to their book club, their parents' friends or their dentist. (One never knows whose golf partner might be the ticket to getting a foot in the door.) Caroline Ceniza-Levine, a partner at SixFigureStart -- a career coaching firm in New York City comprised of former Fortune 500 recruiters -- recommends putting your LinkedIn public profile hyperlink in your automatic e-mail signature. "This is an elegant way to attach your résumé to every correspondence you send. Even friends who think they know you may click through to your profile, learn more about you and perhaps think of you for a job or lead that they might have overlooked."<br /><br />2. They surf job boards for more than just open positions.<br /><br />Ceniza-Levine calls job boards "goldmines" for research. "You might see companies you didn't know before -- add these to your list of targets. You might see the same requirements again and again -- this indicates a standard for the job you want, so incorporate these items into your pitch and cover letters."<br /><br />3. They put adequate time and effort into their applications.<br /><br />"Spend time to make your résumé the best possible written advertisement of you," says Lisa Quast, author of "Your Career, Your Way!" and founder of Career Woman Inc., a Seattle-based career development consulting company. "Analyze the job requirements against your own skills and abilities, and customize your cover letter."<br /><br />Obviously, all correspondence should be free of errors and typos. And before sending off the application packet, look at the job posting one last time to ensure all desired material is included.<br /><br />4. They do their homework.<br /><br />It seems logical to smart applicants to know something about potential employers. From Googling a company to checking out its financial statements, they learn what they can -- and use the info to enhance their correspondence.<br /><br />5. They know employers do their homework, too.<br /><br />"According to [a 2010] Coremetrics [study], 75 percent of companies require recruiters to research job applicants online, so you'll want to be sure you know what they'll find," states Sherrie Madia, co-author of "The Online Job Search Survival Guide." Besides thinking twice about what you choose to post, she suggests doing a Google search on your name. If you find something undesirable, try to have it removed.<br /><br />6. They make their value known quickly.<br /><br />"An employer gives each résumé about a three-second window of time before he decides to either 'delete' or read further," says Patrice Rice, author of "How to Interview" and president of the recruiting firm Patrice & Associates in Dunkirk, Md. A smart applicant answers the "What can you do for me?" question right off the bat with a summary of strongest accomplishments at the résumé's top.<br /><br />7. They look and act like a professional.<br /><br />Simple but effective: A smart applicant arrives on time, dresses appropriately, both talks and listens, displays confidence and minds his manners.<br /><br />8. They show that they want this job.<br /><br />Smart job seekers are not "tire kickers." They focus on the needs of the employer and demonstrate how they are perfect for this particular position.<br /><br />"Show enthusiasm during the job interview," says Rice. "Always make certain that the company you're interviewing with feels as if it is your first choice, no matter what other companies are involved in your job search."<br /><br />9. They don't get ahead of themselves.<br /><br />As much as she may be dying to know about promotions, raises and vacation time, a smart candidate doesn't jump the gun and tackle these issues during the first interview. She focuses on landing the position, then on whether the package is suitable.<br /><br />10. They ask for the position, follow up and thank.<br /><br />"As strange as it sounds, you need to ask for the job," says Catherine Jewell, author of "New Résumé New Career: Get the Job You Want with the Skills and Experience You Already Have." "At the end of the interview, sum up your strengths, tell the interviewer that you are excited about the position and say, 'I would really like to contribute to this company. I am hoping you select me.'"<br /><br />Then, a smart interviewee keeps his name in the game with a follow-up note reiterating interest and offering thanks -- knowing that a great last impression can seal the deal!<br /><br />By Beth Braccio Hering who researches and writes about job search strategy, career management, hiring trends and workplace issues for CareerBuilder.com. Follow @CBForJobSeekers on Twitter.

10 Things Smart Job Seekers Do

What separates the smart job seeker from others looking for employment? Oftentimes, it is one of these 10 things: 1. They realize a potentia...

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Semaine au Centre de l'Emploi 2010

<BR><br />Du 18 au 22 octobre, Pôle emploi Centre organise, dans chaque département, « Au Centre de l'emploi », une série de manifestations en faveur de l'emploi. <br /><br /><a title="View 469-42 Programme Semaine Pour l'Emploi on Scribd" href="http://www.scribd.com/doc/38676004/469-42-Programme-Semaine-Pour-l-Emploi" style="margin: 12px auto 6px auto; font-family: Helvetica,Arial,Sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; -x-system-font: none; display: block; text-decoration: underline;">469-42 Programme Semaine Pour l'Emploi</a> <object data="http://d1.scribdassets.com/ScribdViewer.swf" height="600" id="doc_532437303240627" name="doc_532437303240627" style="outline:none;" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="100%"> <param name="movie" value="http://d1.scribdassets.com/ScribdViewer.swf"> <param name="wmode" value="opaque"> <param name="bgcolor" value="#ffffff"> <param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"> <param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"> <param name="FlashVars" value="document_id=38676004&access_key=key-2nc9223yibprc11fkpw2&page=1&viewMode=list"> <embed id="doc_532437303240627" name="doc_532437303240627" src="http://d1.scribdassets.com/ScribdViewer.swf?document_id=38676004&access_key=key-2nc9223yibprc11fkpw2&page=1&viewMode=list" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="600" width="100%" wmode="opaque" bgcolor="#ffffff"></embed> </object><br /><br />Pour en savoir plus : <a href="http://www.aucentredelemploi.fr" "target=_blank">www.aucentredelemploi.fr</a><br /><BR>

Semaine au Centre de l'Emploi 2010

Du 18 au 22 octobre, Pôle emploi Centre organise, dans chaque département, « Au Centre de l'emploi », une série de manifestations en fav...

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Motivated Monday

<p>It’s the start of another week! I’m committing this week to be successful and dedicated!!! Keep me accountable, ok? :) <strong><em>What do you plan to do to make this week successful?</em></strong></p> <p>I had <strong>oatmeal</strong> for breakfast this morning with a <strong>sliced banana </strong>mixed in for <strong>3 points</strong>. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4tMQ29nbJLuSWaPbC9mBVnXAJMAmuGSy-dM9b96BRdlR3WnB3nD8KU4WByQzsGLD6_G9Xfhjn7mPPWjA17wpfPtYobVsqKn4tR-R32NPXOgDWl59SCfPfyvIOSfWCmf4u_qikfutzjWnU/s1600-h/DSC08993%5B3%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC08993" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2rWN390eUkXQoD4-xBIlFrEpa-7kkQhwOtfJV9XO8rrO1gZhHvifFWZc0fpfKPX5Aht_EHNnwWIgsNdOxEIYJRwZWNrZ99nD1Srl-zl6fnDs6iFPvWBLA_oRKCMiT94-gESCXM8x5yiZZ/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC08993" width="404"></a></p> <p>My morning snack with filled with <strong><em>CRUNCH</em></strong>!! One of my staff came to my office telling me she could hear my crunchy <strong>carrots</strong>!! lol Hooray for <strong>0 point</strong>, crunch snacks! :)<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-zJceqUVvAzJPRF48nc-AmjzgcKkrfdB1xsquKsDMlC3hz8ISpkN4AtTB-RtbhcHsPx0DsSaYwYVhTXiHIAdPJmlUIE6kFn4DN-8Kc7BHjrekro7I9DrLpTYsqtrt_DWhuI-mMEhsqMFZ/s1600-h/DSC08994%5B3%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC08994" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgssMUjyEBYjU4Q9hpVFmnRxnFLLsCvhri_z8rFCoBxvN52xHL8Yl3puFNtcp75zNzuMEZKMIBQk3t5t4AD7ES0ADt-3E0Y8dB2GnBISh_l3WsHW0RylfQ19ABR70hd08Q-CEGESHEPPVKe/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC08994" width="404"></a></p> <p>Lunch time rolled around and I knew just what I was having, leftovers! I had the other half of my <a href="http://weightloss-stories.blogspot.com/2010/10/101010.html">lunch from yesterday,</a> <strong>six inch Subway Club</strong> on <strong>wheat</strong> and the other half of my bag of<strong> Sun Chips</strong> for <strong>8 points</strong>. <img alt="DSC08996" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBaolMJenz708YE9TTcOM7Pzfqmv6Rz0OSG4tFku5jc2-JktZx51JUtnUK1tgFhsH7DA4-xacyOdcL9ol9uZF9hqiXI65PyozKvu3ZnwwBgev8wI2cqJpbKtdXLR0jV4vfKE2-GJ5MaN9Y/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC08996" width="404"></p> <p>I also had some <strong>peaches</strong> & <strong>1/4c cottage cheese</strong> on the side for <strong>2 points</strong>. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBuoLkuWuYh_r63vqnfBwK1qMn9-d-YZk9Whj1_yh7k-cnJKWuYuc5_oyDaYfrQIueUS6iIkpmfLl1R2F1SSq9jNkDmyYnOAfMhGI30Ezy4rcCQEWc_s5D0HNv7-kvyj_ppJoIwqXpZ2C8/s1600-h/DSC08995%5B3%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC08995" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBkIFUSz64s8VaHMcHIG8NZ2SL8F5-Qwls-Uc4vXan3xFIsYh8eMbF-a46HQce7lS0zCDTPtxAl1z8H5BBWg7TmrpFXPDsBiGowhqiXeScGJZghi4Li5XGnN74N-_YaZbCdbIw7g2M-fBv/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC08995" width="404"></a></p> <p>Check out this fun dress I wore to work today! I got it at Target last week. Hard to believe I can still wear a dress <em>in Iowa in October</em>! <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEVz9AHiVc91HVYR1T25pvkjEEjRR-AHFMI-MgOvsx7ftaSJxbgW_v6XWlXfK2n_ZSE8xlIDe5r-OQUiXFHDV_nDdibp_WI1Ks7EoEcMIKPl_cTVbOCroT6xEbp9YHJu5mNi78hzyNW_OL/s1600-h/DSC08997%5B3%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC08997" border="0" height="537" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP44UmmuEbfYK6Mu2qAp6iqlrOZEal9LNBzSN4UF9wGP1RehyYM5dyVfulYL2Y_RtjU9lMM3ho56Jtti-0ObFlwFNVCX9h8yq4OnOG1rdJdn1XOCJ-0lK_ufvSEWqcKdQNqPykO28H7x5c/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC08997" width="404"></a></p> <p>Yep you saw that right, it’s maternity & it was only $6!!! No I’m not pregnant!! It’s a similar style to a lot of dresses that flow out from the waist. <img alt="DSC09004" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7GQvXtNjA2N6Ol6sAevdT6auz5-jISezpqVgZlf2aHjyeRmfG9erx7vVgMf4uCAqY-2DT2qhQJBWTdG-FIwJubZqgPNMhtVO6cNNGJGMTp6uNHIdS1_U9jV5DN1H1o80pIwwGhgqGJRyO/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC09004" width="404"></p> <p>I haven’t been to the gym since July 15th!!! It missed me greatly! ;) I got in <strong>45 minutes</strong> on the <strong>cross ramp</strong>, burning <em>480+ calories</em>!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeHBgRZJT_ioGD8TZ3vtn8Oj5g1Whua15g_g_aPyXT8qbyWVPBvYRTBiKENZeflw7Wv0QNxzdQdtbp6Jw1UXb2fvj9k0Iwwk9o_fJjEVXa0vxvKTul5hyphenhyphen6vv7n1xCK7r-HcmqkPhcea3a6/s1600-h/DSC08999%5B3%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC08999" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFAQwT5ah-AluV5C4Nd0k_bW3lwh1in3EPEMMOB5TEt4aUggAlrzoPT7UBDJiK4DCvdP7xMjNxzBKSplfbx4veGM6T0hh4qNOYEbsAB8USmLpxA5VfroSy2a-JzSG-yRRNHX4Yp67-FapL/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC08999" width="404"></a><strong></strong></p> <p><strong>Cookies</strong> are the perfect post work recovery food, right?!?! I devoured <strong>2</strong> of these <strong>1 point</strong> bad boys! (Thanks for the cookies <a href="http://weightloss-stories.blogspot.com/2010/10/saturday.html">Jenna</a>!)<img alt="DSC09002" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRVpNP1HQAxzK5bhv3XTdhfim6tHNA0_p1k28JdZ6Ko5_JJ2s1v9rxe5rtgcKal5mtGJBNMAC4OK8ZfubltAUXf4jTZmazoPIqRaRzLSoaLWq-Uo8migU01LIKECKB66pntUxrVR5x-dn7/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC09002" width="404"></p> <p>My supper was a delicious new try, <strong>chicken enchilada soup</strong>! It’s a <a href="http://weightloss-stories.blogspot.com/2010/10/saturday.html">hungry girl recipe</a>! My friend, <a href="http://weightloss-stories.blogspot.com/2010/10/saturday.html">Jenna’s, Mom</a> made it for me to test out. Verdict: <strong>LOVED</strong> it! Only <strong>2 points</strong> for<strong> 1 cup</strong>!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCBUmF6tXweWEdYDUvee-hdzM_3X1kPV_Kng0bQrRMcowXF_6fgzHL8AbwYyURBI4O3egOUEO7vVnu91777TuyzKohAgRMqiTaMm7dPBmwl7zVyXDtLTN8bOwOk71kpFFDeO9BgY98QH5T/s1600-h/DSC09000%5B3%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC09000" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrGJyJJX5H-kc8yNHF7hf-rfmFnuQZq8Y2hsNqh7aYZN0QX44MVOGdm3CYbSD7B-QKyuM5NO_hyaRkFK-_d2YtSOh9jzYTFFGPrY_pewZkJp_Y0vazSvSGQ53uDik1FM0E7SDyAYCBgiJw/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC09000" width="404"></a></p> <p>I wanted to have a cheese sandwich on the side, but unfortunately my few pieces of bread left were moldy. So I had a <strong>cheese bun</strong> for <strong>2 points</strong>! :)<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz_GdRuMNag5bta66bKhyphenhyphen1AjSdWUBA0fLFw9WK64HKnzXMw__Xohwes2z4m5Zbo9GNNHK8Gabzfc3sculdmeUvUXSAEbgfkggrLC7ZgeJO0xSY8Nux9OyO9-vwRU3YcAdIw1ZjQtol6uvY/s1600-h/DSC09001%5B3%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC09001" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-1qcJ_YRMx9_Etw8Ls1IIauW7o1v5yFiRnkp1NN2ww4ZTr76yI3e1gVm14VfXpVxm6pt-m5WTuatUMqLLTsrFJqW-D07OhbWnE61q5iHMnZvtCvzmkqri-ZHK7OU_Rn-PTXiydLrmjf3y/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC09001" width="404"></a></p> <p></p> <p></p> <p></p> <p></p> <p></p> <p><strong>MONDAY’S STATS <br></strong>POINTS = 19/23 <br>WEEKLY ALLOWANCE POINTS = 1 used/34 remaining <br>ACTIVITY POINTS EARNED = 2 today/8 week <br>H2O = 146 oz <br>EXERCISE = 45 min cross ramp <p>Remember my opening question: <strong><em>What do you plan to do to make this week successful?</em></strong></p>

Motivated Monday

It’s the start of another week! I’m committing this week to be successful and dedicated!!! Keep me accountable, ok? :) What do you plan to d...

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It's just the beginning

After my long, soul-searching post yesterday, I feel about a million times better about my life. I know it's only been a couple of days, but I feel so different that it's hard to put it into words. <br /><br />For the first time in my life, I'm not consumed by thoughts of food. When will I eat? What will I eat? How much will I eat? Will I eat too much? Will I eat the wrong thing? Will I gain weight if I eat that? Will I have a binge today? Will I lose control? <br /><br />It's like I've been under an evil spell for over forty years. A spell that was cast on me to always make me worry about what I eat. To always be fearful of food. To always have food be in control of me and not me in control of it.<br /><br />It's like I found the source of my pain, which was actually compounded by how I've handled the pain, discomfort, sadness, and loneliness in my life. I avoided it. I ate to stop the feelings. I refused to face the pain because it just hurt too much. Instead, it was better to eat away the pain. The only problem with that little theory is that it doesn't work.<br />Today I canceled my Weight Watcher membership. I've only been going to about one meeting a month and honestly, I've lost interest in it. It's served it's purpose for me. I know what to eat, and how much to eat. I understand portion size and the Weight Watcher healthy eating guidelines. Now it's time for me to move on, to try something different. Not another diet. Not another weight loss plan. Instead, I want to stop my war with food. <br /><br />Still, it's scary to leave Weight Watchers after almost three  years. I can always rejoin, however, I don't think I'll ever want to. <br /><br />I weighed this morning on my scales here at home. 174.0 pounds. Afterwards I placed the scales on the top shelf in the back of my closet. I need a step stool to get to them. <br /><br />I have weighed myself every day for the last 42 years. I've made myself crazy with those weighins. It's time to stop it. At least for now. I need to give the daily weighins a break. I'll weigh again next Saturday.<br /><br />Today I followed Geneen's seven eating guidelines. It was not easy, but it made a huge difference. I bought her CD where she explains the eating guidelines in depth. She said it's all or nothing. You can't say you don't like doing one thing and then decide to just not do it. It doesn't work that way. <br /><br />I know that's true because that's what I tried last summer when I read the book. I didn't like #3, Eat without distractions. Distractions include radio, television, newspapers, books, intense or anxiety-producing conversations or music. This one is the hardest for me. I'm getting use to it now, but it was very odd the first couple of times. It really makes me focus on what I'm eating, because well, there's just nothing else to focus on. Surprisingly, it makes me feel a lot more satisfied with my meal.<br /><br />Today I ate what my body wanted. I didn't weigh or measure most of my food, except the oatmeal. I didn't write down what I ate or figure out the calories or the Points. I didn't worry about it. You can't even begin to imagine how this made me feel. It was very difficult, but it also felt like freedom. <br /><br />In case you're wondering, here's what I had to eat today and all of this food is really what I felt like my body wanted. I won't be posting my food every day, because that bores me pieces to write about what I eat. I just wanted to show you what I ate when trying to not be totally restrictive with my food.<br /><br /><em>1 cup of coffee with Stevia and 1% milk (maybe 1/4 cup -?)</em><br /><em>1/2 cup oatmeal, microwaved with a cup of water</em><br /><em>some dried cranberries, maybe 20 (?)</em><br /><em>a few walnuts, maybe 6 halves (?)</em><br /><em>a splash of 1% milk</em><br /><em>1 tablespoon of Splenda/brown sugar mix. I would have used honey but we didn't have any.</em><br /><em>1 small banana</em><br /><br />I savored every bite and it was delicious.<br /><br />I somehow missed lunch and found myself at the gym at 4pm starving to death. That was a total accident because I was running errands and forgot to eat. I had some Kashi bars in my car, some new <em>pumpkin pecan bars.</em> I ate two. I checked the label because I still do that, and they were 120 calories each. This was the only time I didn't follow the not eating in the car guideline, but I was parked at the gym and not listening to the radio.<br /><br />I worked out doing cardio for an hour at the gym. <br /><br />When I walked in the door at home, I was once again starving. I'd burned over 500 calories during my workout. <br /><br />I decided to have another snack before I made dinner.<br /><br /><em>1 small banana</em><br /><em>about 1/2 a glass of 1% milk maybe 3/4 cup</em><br /><br />I sat at the table, slowly eating the banana, drinking the milk. I really wanted to shove it in my mouth and drink the milk in one big gulp, but I took the time to taste the banana and enjoy my snack.<br /><br />Dinner was simple and it really was what I wanted, which is oddly what I eat quite often.<br /><br /><em>A large chicken breast, much larger than my normal 4 ounces, but I didn't weigh it. It was broiled with the Costco Sweet Mesquite Seasoning (love that stuff), and served with a little barbecue sauce</em><br /><em>Brussels Sprouts, more than my normal serving, maybe 1 1/2 cups</em><br /><em>Cherry tomatoes</em><br /><em>A big glass of water</em><br /><br />About an hour after dinner I had a <em>KozyShack tapioca cup</em>. It was not sugar-free. Topped with a squirt (a large one) of <em>non-fat Redi-whip</em>, which I won't be eating again. The pudding was wonderful, the Redi-whip was gross. <br /><br />I'm cutting back on the sugar-free junk I've been eating. I'll still use Stevia because I don't mind the taste of it. I won't be eating a lot of sugar because it doesn't make me feel good. When I eat a lot of it, I get night sweats really bad. A small amount is okay, a lot is bad for me. <br /><br />It's almost 9:30pm, and I'm going to eat a <em>smallish Honeycrisp apple</em> before I go to bed. <br /><br />This is a lot more food than I normally eat, but I don't think I'll be getting up and gorging myself on a 500 to a 1,000 midnight snack tonight<br /><br />I'm really curious if a week of eating like this will make a difference. Am I being stupid thinking I don't need to count every calorie I put in my mouth? Is this a mistake? Yes, it's that voice talking to me again, telling me I'm going to screw this up and gain a hundred pounds. <br /><br />It needs to shut up.

It's just the beginning

After my long, soul-searching post yesterday, I feel about a million times better about my life. I know it's only been a couple of days,...

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10.10.10

<p>Happy Sunday folks! Anyone do anything special for the tenth day of the tenth month of the 2010th year? <em>Run 10 miles?</em> <em>Eat 10 bananas?</em> ;) </p> <p>If you happened to miss my Saturday post you can check it out <a href="http://weightloss-stories.blogspot.com/2010/10/saturday.html">here</a>, it was fun! ;)</p> <p><a href="http://weightloss-stories.blogspot.com/2010/10/saturday.html">Our friends</a> had to leave first thing this morning. :( We said our goodbyes and headed the grocery store. There were some good sales for the day, lots of items were 10 for $10!!</p> <p>Back at home I made a quick, delicious breakfast! I sliced an <strong>apple</strong> and had <strong>1</strong> <a href="http://weightloss-stories.blogspot.com/2010/10/saturday.html">leftover</a> <strong>pumpkin pancake</strong> for a total of <strong>4 points</strong>. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPOkZ64GieGUDcfirNwr0PnotPJwzA0evegRgB0Ze3asjtHInfEVoHTq6luOZrL703B3RuJGX-i5mH-dj6e-gUcRyd96tJ1PtGELz0RMp97AdaRzU57WTt1QYgrZbOAXKeBgG6Tnk-erZ4/s1600-h/DSC08972%5B3%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC08972" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTce_ZSEZ1WP-WThUXJw3mEBCTaXUOs6CkHE-ncjyOyrOQt7GDk4fFTDsaN9ELIZmIWuhCRn7fSzLFr5_L0sntYMhOauZXDY9lFIbh6R0z7yC7jGVt9N0k7mgi49XqCBfePMa_DAOKyYVh/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC08972" width="404"></a></p> <p>The pancakes were just as good as the first time around!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH-8sjN-5CV5Q0lNS8AKYHaZKrTVOArEOnRQ_UUO_L5SuSxEBFdzS_5CvR38MU1U-SNC047CXbvbIjPEOMHhk1eCo95mQZ3sZeUYM6wS9D7hpuURTfS0vPc6pzDos6Z3PBeFYGXtYcmZjl/s1600-h/DSC08973%5B3%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC08973" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRyjmQ57YkWeVEN4tYGGFLIHpUTHrpVJa-pQZiTjhAuKbdmwIONbTkt2ztfrPyU_G949IdzIbjQGzbPag6hIKPpqcWqbc0byR7enbGGR1BjSaBfMO4HASRThITXXNAQBhk0iw41jzKxi75/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC08973" width="404"></a></p> <p>I got a few things done around the house, including making a few cards in my craft room! Yay!! :)</p> <p>We had lunch plans with Kyle’s family. They chose a <em>pizza buffet</em>. :( I said <strong>no thanks</strong> and went a block away to pick up some <strong>Subway</strong> to bring back to the pizza place. I got a <strong>footlong Subway club</strong> and saved 1/2 for lunch tomorrow!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcHBwPOz3Sy5TSvcI2OMHIY_tSnfZCFD0dUPU-xFP1Pwc6EBZ9K19L-grMx2mj9RdTTAZbep_jQxORMijeYR6r7vDRjuSZNACNymTNO1ZP1pwg4i6LsXkVve1NHVPGRA3M_Gxke2LaPkqn/s1600-h/DSC08974%5B3%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC08974" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX3lekcQW71bTRG5jNE8QGrZQJ3p_NigaT5bUrzICj38DbV0ZK3YkSSF1o7NCP6VhrnNsq9Cyjojv8QrRpFDrurUHd4BG_kiD92ylN3T3a6xocZNKlcw0ei4q1T7oQTzqe6CDChAltDs3j/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC08974" width="404"></a></p> <p>I also had <strong>1/2 bag</strong> of <strong>SunChips</strong> with my sandwich for a total of<strong> 8 points</strong>. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZkCSDZLJEHsAxZp7F9DdMnxXDwOlzCeoKidVIDWjVKanh4Zg7RG2UjS-jzCetsJHA3tY8oeKfmX_bBE_GaQunU0l29sELsGvqzpMbX_zqcJfcv5gpamLy_kFQJMBvk5Wfcf40G8Y2cMxp/s1600-h/DSC08975%5B3%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC08975" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhIFvkayp2k5vV3jj6MEDpcqIGeUfWcjScr52eZBGnSFY3mbRjU2MGS4gsjY4xlCq94FE_2tu6OeCsWCX7Ht4I7AJZnOG3HDRRj18nP-2Zd04wS7thEtk0uyrJlNkIRifDYMGfH9D6XlbN/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC08975" width="404"></a></p> <p></p> <p></p> <p></p> <p>I’m not saying pizza isn’t ok, but I’m trying SO hard to stay 100% OP right now. I think it’s ok to work those types of food in your daily points, you just have to be sensible with your choices. Right now I have to stay serious…our Thanksgiving cruise is only 41 days away! I think it’s ok to accommodate your preferences when you have a particular goal in mind!</p> <p>We rested up a bit throughout the afternoon and then headed out for <em>another</em> family get together for supper! Today is my Grandma’s 76th birthday!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-CPOCELol92O8wAzopk-k_jWzkShKEjSGdG9nY3yNsWqPPLCkHlbwkyiscvBDSgvuUsHOjd1q9U5od5i4PX4jHZ-LP8E8nVbEHObMEcVs5qVIeqbMJh9b61TIZOhtfRoFxRFoceUDEktM/s1600-h/DSC08991%5B3%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC08991" border="0" height="404" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmj8OrxbtOmmy1hVKQznu0jZhHJnzMGtkzsEvZteru0fhv7J0roRN7KkAA_Quq_w7IEp4xtv8_nZExZLkGVdPJljXrKM7-rGaid8-Z1quNfmNAf-MQHOm-MaB1QySZAjGgKYAgcvKi8t_z/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC08991" width="304"></a></p> <p>My sister from Omaha was even able to make it!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnPZDiRsxv5dHkSOzPdByI4-sNz7Iy5aOX5C2sL-lJOFKjveASdvmLsDqIVNEvHVB6KhOWBH-Nf1kA6S883l7YJED_kjqxP-ACbC9ERdoZP1gobUHAdlE_wHeYhfDAcWmF-o9SCB4zhk5I/s1600-h/DSC08978%5B3%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC08978" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh35Ce_13tbbbOJ-lLA6VRUkiiovImb-M_VgUzD8rk3wgst6GoBjmHMXx1hY5n8LqaOTyXzLQYA4kuW74Qgx7hNQjZDuj4846XLFcwY7dDZdSpIZB_cpSRNn7EBb8NHixcwmISwcUEMUOn8/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC08978" width="404"></a></p> <p>Sister & BIL<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuycdVQvCkBQhM6vQVH8QlBCPK3dasp0tsQQ_3OMT5YBx4TEd6FlE7-SkUwHPY8zttiF4BNzIAoTLOy3nW0vIxFPDtYHtbKGQEZ8OfYK6YUvnsA18v9qNBGgMjQLukwi42GvmqR7uAiHKS/s1600-h/DSC08980%5B3%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC08980" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnB0122pRt03lk2TXBThuiJZgiUZ5GLoF899aYunMVYDbxkM4D3Qv1AMw7_2NwnIp0C81j9_kIT8k7JE3wNVgWLU9vnwT2yc_UXOwJOJgZsWnmW-uVKXkXEnRdTUtQzeRXp_cdJj3o8bkX/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC08980" width="404"></a></p> <p>And I got to see Hayden for the 4th day in a row!! Lovin’ it!!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXHh9oay_IraPIkpTwuJvftVAQC8WhvdbIVU22ejBG7ZYFJHiqKi-G-LCO8cdMM_gIIp-uWa01ap5YMayCEaDLCx170yT3AM_T78_v1n3Rhyphenhyphen5gEewIxTPDOitVKXR1itVbJGgtLLdW_XrX/s1600-h/DSC08981%5B3%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC08981" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWvtXbd9AFVeVynJwcV2vnm9woulDhjeUYrYVUbO2JO4EomE053cFitYOMkbP_iFiwKyJhQeFrEFlKQpkRZH9IHrAfKANIBii0bvYGKRbjjGOHccM3NpLTY11IP2u6GRivYtKmdVcK6Ru8/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC08981" width="404"></a></p> <p>Supper happened to be at the <strong>SAME</strong> place as <a href="http://weightloss-stories.blogspot.com/2010/10/saturday.html">last night</a>! It’s a favorite of my Grandma’s! I had the <strong>grilled chicken sandwich</strong> again, but a <strong>baked potato</strong> with <strong>salsa</strong> on the side instead for a total of <strong>8 points</strong>. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzhnlAqdPwVwqVIdfwP-ollNA_2JOAZfnAF7aN9LrPrnxVHVxvhTixCB845P91MAcSx0A5hZWz-4Q6YO_g0ysGeTp7uLf-qIjpYi-hX53rsuYjWU45op2eHxEyhDpSOgzNQRjiHyYKtAG1/s1600-h/DSC08985%5B3%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC08985" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3w8HjZPOzEKPo9G-kQYugMWagCG0sZ0_-xN0tP7MAAR7qJ-tQ1DVlpnxaiP9WviA1s6aVNvx5PYPuyJ2_gq9aNzC16V5Gp85OfZ3Gnsfq_MAh8kLS102QoK0z1L9kST4tH7RyAZcwxhks/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC08985" width="404"></a></p> <p>No birthday celebration is complete without cake!!!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCDccy9betij7KsTYRTwy4WQ8w9AO6oRZt515C5G1IQBTcLdvLH2xO4eZYQpaXE9Xjf4cQwWSauU875xDjLfxGe2ZMNengTuUbITDDeh-PyNgJTfgnhHhMrMJGolZOyqLX3r4mVA_QMD92/s1600-h/DSC08986%5B3%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC08986" border="0" height="404" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0WxrZM7LCdGQN8UEHq7swLpW9nHLNSjJir6c2lyawkpmKj5TBm8zrFIeenXwCJKxwJ3KJzTXKRJWCwGoRjDDPWRcE2t5WCIxKHIqLXNLLzQK-c-KpMt7qchKA2ZqDIYFRqeHzjDxM04q2/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC08986" width="304"></a></p> <p>I had just a little sliver for an estimate of <strong>3 points</strong>. I didn't’ have any luck finding champagne cake nutrition facts online so if you happen to find some, let me know! I’m curious!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcIjU0ZLeSV9tFMxHjIdq_JISJZ8ftAVTEkkL9GtzGolhOwvF7K9PcwXyGDaH8KM5CxhUE1-FM3fTSs0WZ_gTncXTJ_l7OCXOpqIT4saF53X62fcp6ahw3AoB5vIWcb8ghGyRQPm3S-ISr/s1600-h/DSC08989%5B3%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC08989" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOD6ELdDnDRW0AnV3kXMPxjL_OSdNgLIDMt5iwB9SDT603afj2UPKFo4UIlYjAj4uqrNg1w1glmwkZgM73cAFJAxYthyKPkqaacPFCWqajqyRvrxbykwkklAm3E2wKJxvt-qqdPX4XdhIe/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="DSC08989" width="404"></a><strong></strong></p> <p><strong>SUNDAY’S STATS <br></strong>POINTS = 23/23 <br>WEEKLY ALLOWANCE POINTS = 1 used/34 remaining <br>ACTIVITY POINTS EARNED = 0 today/6 week <br>H2O = 128 oz <br>EXERCISE = none</p> <p>That’s all for my weekend friends! Hope you enjoyed your’s<strong><u> to the max</u></strong>!! Can’t wait to start reading the Chicago Marathon race recaps!! It was so fun following everyone today! </p>

10.10.10

Happy Sunday folks! Anyone do anything special for the tenth day of the tenth month of the 2010th year? Run 10 miles?   Eat 10 bananas? ;) ...

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Why I've been broken all these years

Some of what I learned at Geneen Roth's Women Food and God workshop this past weekend...<br /><br />For as long as I can remember I've never understood my relationship with food. I'd read about other people struggling with food the same as me, but they always seemed to have a tragic story in their background. It made sense why they turned to food for comfort.<br /><br />For me, it just didn't make any sense at all. I've had a fairly good life. My childhood was the life of a princess. I was loved and cared for, I was told I was the most beautiful and the smartest girl in the world. I was told I could do anything, be anything. I was spoiled and showered with not only love, but worldly possessions as well. I thought we were rich when I was a kid. I learned later in life that my parents were of modest means, but they sacrificed a lot so I could have whatever I wanted. I was blessed with a loving family and a good life. <br /><br />Since I was about thirteen years old I've had an unnatural relationship with food. I've struggled with my weight my entire life. I've often said that I was "broken" when it came to food. I've felt like something was wrong inside of me. That food was too important to me. I wasn't normal when it came to how I thought about food. I didn't understand why. I kept searching for answers but always came up empty.<br /><br />I even wondered if maybe I was sexually molested as a child and didn't remember it. I've read about how sexual molestation sometimes cause women to turn to food for comfort. I knew for me that was ridiculous. I lived a charmed life and nothing bad had ever happened to me. So what the hell was wrong with me? <br /><br />Friday night Geneen had us do a visualization. It involved imagining our mother being there and what she would say to us at the weight we were now. My first thought was, "Oh God, she's going to blame our problems on our mothers! No way in hell my mother caused me to be fat and compulsively overeat." <br /><br />I went along with the visualization, imagining my mother being there, telling me how beautiful I was and how healthy I looked. She'd tell me I was smart and I could succeed at anything I put my mind to. She always said those things to me, no matter how fat I was or how ugly and stupid I felt. I knew she would hug me, and love me just as I am today. It wouldn't matter if I was 125 pounds or 240 pounds. <br /><br />As I was imagining my mother, picturing her there with me, something clicked inside my head. Something I've never thought about before. Something that explains the broken Diana. <br /><br />When I was thirteen there was a terrible event that changed my life forever. My father died of a massive heart attack. He was 51 years old. My mother was 48. They had been married for thirty three years. Their marriage was the kind people dream about. They were best friends and lovers until the end. They held hands, they always greeted each other with a kiss and always said goodbye with a kiss. They never yelled at each other, and I don't even remember them ever having an arugment. They would sit at the kitchen table at night and talk for hours. They enjoyed each other's company. They did everything together. They were in love. I honestly can't even remember hearing a raised voice between them. <br /><br />My father died at home, suddenly and very unexpectedly. My mother and I were home and we witnessed my father's heart attack and watched him dying in front of us. By the time the ambulance arrived he was already gone. <br /><br />Life changed dramatically. My mother went into deep grieving for a year. I've never seen anyone weep so hard. It was like her heart was shattered into a million pieces. It was just my mother and myself. My brother and sister are much older and lived in other states with their families. All my aunts and uncles, cousins, and all our relatives lived outside of Alaska. It was just my mom and me, together to face the world alone. <br /><br />After a year on the homestead we moved to Fairbanks so my mother could go to work. She had never worked outside the home. I was fourteen. I left all my friends I'd known since the first grade. In high school I was painfully shy. I made a few friends, but I wasn't popular. I didn't fit into the big city life. I was scared. Scared of everything. I didn't join any clubs or do any school activities. I never had a boyfriend or even dated in high school. <br /><br />My mother and I became best friends. We did everything together. All through high school I'd rather hang out with my mom than anyone else. I remember many weekends where we would eat all weekend and watch TV. Friday night we'd go to the store and buy anything we wanted to eat. T-bone steaks, potatoes, sour cream, buttered vegetables or salads with thick full-fat salad dressings were all on the menu. Desserts were anything we wanted and as much as we wanted, cakes, pies, cookies, ice cream. Nothing was off limits.<br /><br />My mom always had a weight problem and her weight climbed up to 260 pounds during those years. I was fighting my weight all the time, with intermittent crash diets but the fattest I ever got in high school was 145 pounds. Thankfully I had the metabolism of a teenager and even though I was abusing food I somehow managed to maintain my weight around 135 most of the time (I was 5' 6"). <br /><br />Still, we ate like pigs. It was fun. It was something we shared, that we loved to do together.<br /><br />Now let me back up to something that Geneen talked about before the visualization on Friday night. She talked about pain, about eating compulsively to block out the pain. We don't want to face the pain because it hurts too much. So we stuff it down with food. Momentarily this blocks the pain. In the end though we still have the original pain as well as the pain from the overeating. The guilt. The weight gain. The self-hatred for overeating. We have now essentially doubled the pain. We need to feel the pain, let it wash over us, because it can't kill us. It's unpleasant, but not deadly. Even though we may think we're going to die from a broken heart, most likely, we will not die.<br /><br />Geneen also spoke about how we often live with rules and ideas we learned twenty or thirty years ago. Even though they are based on false principles, we still follow them.<br /><br />Back to 1968 through 1973. My mother and I never discussed my father's death. Even though we were both deeply wounded by it and missed him like crazy, we never talked about it. In those days (1968 is when he died) there wasn't any grief counseling. No one ever came to me and asked me how I felt, how I was dealing with my loss. The only thing I heard from anyone was that they were sorry. As a thirteen year old girl I had to deal with it on my own. I cried myself to sleep every night for about a year, and sometimes even to this day I cry about the unfairness of the entire situation, for both my mother and myself. <br /><br />Friday night this all suddenly clicked in my head. I learned the way to deal with pain was food. I learned that lesson at thirteen years old and have been following it for the last 42 years. <br /><br />When I came home Friday night I really gave this a lot of thought. I thought about how when my husband and I argue and I feel rejection that I turn to food. I never think about the pain of the rejection or the feelings of not being loved. That's too painful, it hurts to much. It's easier and safer to push it down with food. It's easier to not think about it. <br /><br />It suddenly made sense to my why I've been broken so long. It was a true "aha!" moment for me. As Roxie put it, a moment of clarity that explains my life. My sick and obsessive relationship with food. <br /><br />Last night after the second day of the workshop, I came home and did something I haven't done in years. First, I made myself go to the gym. Now that's not unusual, but this time I made a promise to myself and kept it. I was exhausted, mentally and physically. I told myself thirty minutes of cardio, no more. I went to the gym and did thirty minutes of cardio, no more, and came home. Even though I was feeling better and could have done more cardio and some weights, I told myself a promise is a promise. Even one to myself shouldn't be broken. <br /><br />When I came home from the gym my husband had made dinner. It was on the stove. Grilled steaks. Frozen mixed vegetables that had been microwaved and half of a sweet potato. It was 7pm, and I was starved. Normally I wouldn't have touched this meal with a ten-foot pole. The steak was well-done because that's how he likes his meat and he knew I wouldn't eat it anyway. I never touch beef and can't even remember the last time I had a steak. The vegetables had corn and carrots, mixed with green beans and Lima beans. Too many starchy vegetables for me. They looked like they had some Smart Balance on them. He always adds it to his vegetables. Still, it looked tasty. I was hungry.<br /><br />I wanted to feed my body what it needed. It needed fuel. I hadn't eaten much all day. Grace and I had packed our healthy lunches for the conference, and I'd had a light breakfast. I looked at the meal my husband had made and thought okay, maybe 500-600 calories. No idea how much that steak weighs. Kind of small, but no idea. <br /><br />I put the food on a plate, sat down at the table by myself, no book, no magazine, no music, no TV, no laptop, no distractions. Just me and my food. It was a strange experience. I ate each bite slowly. It tasted exquisite. The steak, although a little overdone, was perfectly seasoned. The mixed frozen vegetables were yummy (and yes, I could taste the light Smart Balance that tasted like butter), and the sweet potato was soft and flavorful. It was a delightful meal. <br /><br />What was difficult was being alone with my thoughts. Rehashing everything I'd learned about myself in the workshop. <br /><br />I feel like I've only uncovered the tip of the iceberg, but at least I know it's there. I have a lot of work to do on myself. Not only how I look at food, but how I deal with pain, discomfort, and rejection. I have a long road ahead of me but it's one I'm willing to travel. <br /><br />I went to bed last night at 10pm. No wine and no sleeping pill. My husband was already asleep. I didn't toss and turn like normal, but I was asleep within minutes. I slept through the night until 6am. I woke up feeling like life is good and that I'm not broken anymore. I felt refreshed, alive. That is the first time in years that I didn't wake up at 3am and toss and turn until it was time to get up. It's also the first time in weeks, maybe months, that I didn't get up and stuff my face with food in the middle of the night as my husband slept. <br /><br />My life has definitely taken a turn for the better. Getting to know me isn't quite as bad as I had imagined. It's painful, reliving things from my past and how they affect my present. It hurts to face the pain instead of eating it away with food. It feels good to know I'm not broken beyond repair and can finally come to a place of peace with food.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">*******************</div><br />Please note, I do not in any way, shape or form blame my mother for anything that is wrong with me. She was an angel and loved me more than life itself. It's just something that happened to both of us, but it's something I can repair in myself.

Why I've been broken all these years

Some of what I learned at Geneen Roth's Women Food and God workshop this past weekend... For as long as I can remember I've never un...

Read more »