Old Flame

I guess anytime things get stressful between partners, one's mind has a tendency to wander...<br /><br />He's visited my dreams a few times lately.  It's so real.  I see him, smell him, hear his voice and I feel him.  <br /><br />I found him on facebook today.  He's married and has a beautiful son that is a mirror image of himself.  No I'm not stupid, I won't contact him.  <br /><br />I feel silly thinking about him now.  I last saw him 19 years ago. <br /><br />He was my first love.<br /><br />It was too much, I was way too young, far too many years between us.<br /><br />Nothing kinky in the slightest.  But he filled the role of the daddy I needed.  And the allure of having the man that other girls swooned over... and the secrecy, the danger, the excitement, oh wow!<br /><br />It was discovered and it needed to end.  I was of age by then. Still his job could have (should have) been on the line.<br /><br />It ended too soon.  I wasn't ready.  Neither of us were but he knew it was best.<br /><br />My mom was dying, just months left to live.  Even though she hated me I felt I should be there for my dad who also didn't care for me.  I ran away from the state I grew up in and transplanted myself to where I am now, where my parents had relocated to.  It was a disaster in every way.<br /><br />I threw myself into an abusive relationship with the first person I met after moving here.<br /><br />Got out many years later.<br /><br />Rebounded into the arms of the man I eventually married.<br /><br />I don't have regrets.  I love him.  I adore my children and I have a good life.  But I do ache for more.<br /><br />Now here I am, fantasizing about my first love.  Wondering what could have been. 

Old Flame

I guess anytime things get stressful between partners, one's mind has a tendency to wander... He's visited my dreams a few times lat...

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