News for today's 2018

Bathroom ritual intensifies pain of flying

<div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6OQ6fDmbWMBv7QEV6zI3704LTjpRpcjn4IG1EvXTbA_DDVeLqj5rut4-QIQQ3udWK7agpZlpuX51HFwiHcvHMWX7RPcuji7xn4OWiqq4ieAvcI1J9Hvk9GBMN5o-LXm-aRxBlzxMBSoxX/s1600/snyder2.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6OQ6fDmbWMBv7QEV6zI3704LTjpRpcjn4IG1EvXTbA_DDVeLqj5rut4-QIQQ3udWK7agpZlpuX51HFwiHcvHMWX7RPcuji7xn4OWiqq4ieAvcI1J9Hvk9GBMN5o-LXm-aRxBlzxMBSoxX/s1600/snyder2.gif" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">  OUT TO PASTOR   </div>By Dr. James L. Snyder Gazette Contributor Flying in an airplane is not my preferred style of transportation. However, flying without an airplane is quite disastrous, if you know what I mean! I am not quite sure the Wright brothers would be too happy with some of the things passing as airplanes these days. It seems to me that psychotic midgets have designed modern day airplanes. Nothing in an airplane is designed for the normal person, and I might as well say it, I consider myself normal. I may be a shade taller than normal but I am normal in every other respect. One plane I took from Detroit to Dayton Ohio was about as small as I have ever been on. Walking down the aisle, I could not even stand up but had to bend over in order to walk down the aisle. I heard a noise behind me that startled me and I stood up only to dash my head against the ceiling. That was not the worst headache of my flight. One of these days, I would like to meet the person who designed the seats in those planes. I will admit to being a little less than post thin, but after all shouldn't you be able to sit down in a seat when you are flying? I truly do not understand what a seatbelt is for with individuals like me. I can barely squeeze myself into that seat and then it takes me about 15 minutes to extract myself from the seat. I suppose a seatbelt is for the comfort of the pilot who believes that somehow I will not bounce out of my seat while he is flying. I could not bounce out if my life depended upon it. My seat was so tight and I fit so snugly in it that when I sneezed it felt like I did some damage to my inner organs. Somewhere in the Constitution there has to be something to the effect that an individual has the right to sneeze without hurting himself. What I want to know is why do I always have to sneeze when I am in certain situations like this? Then, comes the time when you need to go to the bathroom. The flight attendant will bring you all the free beverages you can consume. They know, and I guess they are snickering behind our back, that everybody is going to have to go to the bathroom at the same time. Coordinating the bathroom run is one of the trying exploits of flying the friendly skies. For one, by the time I realize I have to go to the bathroom there is a line for the bathroom. Fortunately, by the time I extricate myself from my seat, the line has dwindled dramatically. Then again, I have to go to the bathroom so bad I am dancing up the aisle to the bathroom to the great applause of the people sitting there. Once I fasten myself into the seat, I try to get comfortable enough to do a little reading. Since I am sitting in the aisle seat, everybody is bumping into me as they go up and down the aisle. Now that I am situated so that I cannot move, they come again with beverages. Why is it I forget there is a link between drinking a beverage and going to the bathroom? I know there is a link but when I am up in the air so high my tiny little grey cells are working in slow motion. So why take a free beverage? Well, it is free! I am at the age in my development where going to the bathroom is a frequent activity, even when not drinking any beverages. When consuming a beverage, this activity kicks into high gear. Once again, I need to extricate myself from my seat and find my way to the bathroom. I am not quite sure about this, but I believe in mid air the airplane pilot switches the bathroom from the front to the rear. I am dancing up the aisle, which I believe is in the direction of the bathroom, only to discover I am going in the wrong direction. A few of the people in the seats are smiling at me and one person gives me a thumbs-up as I turn around and dance in the direction of the actual bathroom facility. With a forced grin, I give a thumbs-up back at him and proceed in the direction of the bathroom. It is at this point that I run into a line. Wouldn't you know it; the line is for the bathroom? This is a real thumbs-down for me. It is at this point that I really wish I was not a gentleman. After all, a gentleman has to let the ladies go first. I think if some of these ladies would know the actual situation, they would insist I go first and I certainly would give them a wonderful thumbs-up. As I was standing in line, a verse of Scripture popped into my head. "And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left" (Isaiah 30:21 KJV). Many things in life have us going in circles to which there is no end. God, however, puts us on the straight and narrow path that ends with Jesus Christ. Rev. James L. Snyder is pastor of the Family of God Fellowship, PO Box 831313, Ocala, FL 34483. He lives with his wife, Martha, in Silver Springs Shores. Call him at <a href="tel:1-866-552-2543" value="+18665522543">1-866-552-2543</a> or e-mail <a href="mailto:jamessnyder2@att.net">jamessnyder2@att.net</a>. His web site is <a href="http://www.jamessnyderministries.com/" target="_blank">www.jamessnyderministries.com</a>.

OUT TO PASTOR Bathroom ritual intensifies pain of flying

OUT TO PASTOR By Dr. James L. Snyder Gazette Contributor Flying in an airplane is not my preferred style of transportation. However, ...

By definition, a free donut is not always free

<div style="text-align: center;">OUT TO PASTOR </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwajJ09pzdMNZrZoPPSZJj2CZFR-wAwEpzyDM3hCrishCMmp6D4S92mwYBzhIjisTSfQVwDPLgyOKgG78iSWZUVeRrB-iAd_-gE6gfQwBdsZcn30HaVJWTwjtkFN014apvhjcl7mJjJFum/s1600/snyder_wife2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwajJ09pzdMNZrZoPPSZJj2CZFR-wAwEpzyDM3hCrishCMmp6D4S92mwYBzhIjisTSfQVwDPLgyOKgG78iSWZUVeRrB-iAd_-gE6gfQwBdsZcn30HaVJWTwjtkFN014apvhjcl7mJjJFum/s1600/snyder_wife2.jpg" /></a></div>By Dr. James L. Snyder Gazette Contributor   I cannot express how ecstatic I was when someone gave me a coupon for a free donut. Normally, I am not overly excited about "free."   All I had to do was fill out a little survey online and they would send me a code that would guarantee me a free donut. In my "daily diary diet," I have a whole section devoted to the subject that when a forbidden food is free it cancels out all calories.  When I first told the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage she looked at me rather strangely and said, "Who said that?"  I know we are both getting old but we are not that old!  I got close to her, waved my hand so she could see me and said, "It's me. I just said it. Can you see me now?"  "That is not funny. You know exactly what I meant."  My grin drained from my face and I said to her, "Well, I said it."  "Did," she said inquisitively, "anybody ever say that before you said it?"  My wife has many talents, skills and gifts. It would be difficult for me to say which is her best gift but at the moment, her greatest skill is backing me into a corner. And in a corner I was thus backed.  I then had to explain to her, in detail, how this was an observation I worked through with much research. This is an original with me and I am quite proud to be the author. All she said was, "Huh, that is exactly what I thought."  I will go to my grave believing when a donut is free it means it is free of calories. Call it what you will but free by any other name is still free in my personal dictionary.  Getting back to my free donut. I was anxious to get to the donut shop, cash in the coupon and enjoy a donut. I do not know when the best time to eat a donut is, so I just started at my convenience.  I got to the donut shop and walked in and the smell was overpowering. Nothing like the smell of donuts baking in the oven with a hint of coffee brewing in the background. I just stood there for a few seconds absorbing the luxury of this marvelous atmosphere. It is not often I can enjoy such luxuries, especially if my wife knows where I am.  When I became adjusted to the ambience, I walked up to the counter and presented my coupon for a free donut. It was at that moment I saw them.  I know I am not the most observant person at the circus. Many things get by me without noticing them. Sometimes I am just in deep thought and not aware of my surroundings. I can relate to Walter Mitty in many ways.  There they were, freshly baked Apple Fritters. I was stunned. It just never crossed my mind that a donut shop would have this kind of delicious tidbit. But there they were. Freshly baked and staring at me with alluring eyes of desire.  I do not know how much better a day can get than this. When I got up this morning, I did not realize this would be a wonderful day. There they were staring at me and I staring back and immediately there was a connection.  Standing in line I could hardly wait for my turn to order. I presented my coupon for a free donut and the young woman behind the counter said, "Which donut can I get for you, sir?"  I savored the moment, licked my drying lips and said, "I'll have an Apple Fritter." With that said, I sighed a deep sigh of true contentment.  "I'm sorry, sir," the young woman said.  "There is no need to be sorry, young lady," I said as cheerfully as I possibly could.  "No, sir, I'm sorry but an Apple Fritter is not a donut."  I can take a joke as well as anybody else. In fact, I have put forth my share of jokes. However, an Apple Fritter is no joking matter.  "Excuse me," I said almost breathlessly.  "An Apple Fritter is not a donut, so what donut would you like me to get for you?"  The thought began unfolding in my mind at this point that she was not joking. She sincerely believed an Apple Fritter was not a donut. I know an Apple Fritter is among the Cadillacs of donuts but in my mind, it is still a donut.  I did not have much opportunity to set this young woman straight with one of the great fundamentals of life. I had to take one of her "free" donuts along with my coffee, go to a corner and think about these things. What good is "free" if it is not really what you want?  Sometimes people use the word "free" as a device to get you to a place where they can sell you something else.  The Bible is the only place I will accept a "free" offer. One particular verse sets this forth quite nicely. "And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free" (John 8:32 KJV).  This is often used out of context. The truth that makes us free indeed is none other than the truth about Jesus Christ. He is the only One capable of delivering something absolutely free.  Rev. James L. Snyder is pastor of the Family of God Fellowship, PO Box 831313, Ocala, FL 34483. He lives with his wife, Martha, in Silver Springs Shores. Call him at <a href="tel:1-866-552-2543" value="+18665522543">1-866-552-2543</a> or e-mail <a href="mailto:jamessnyder2@att.net">jamessnyder2@att.net</a>. His web site is <a href="http://www.jamessnyderministries.com/" target="_blank">www.jamessnyderministries.com</a>.

OUT TO PASTOR By definition, a free donut is not always free

OUT TO PASTOR By Dr. James L. Snyder Gazette Contributor I cannot express how ecstatic I was when someone gave me a coupon for a free do...

Bathroom ritual intensifies pain of flying

By definition, a free donut is not always free

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