News for today's 2018

Made to Crave - Chapter 6

7:49 PM Tukiyooo 0

Tonight I just finished Made to Crave!  Finally!  It was a 193 page book - it shouldn't have taken me so long to read it.  But my excuse, as will continue to be for everything that I lack these days, is because of school.  I wish I would have stayed more on track with the book so as to stay in the spirit of it all while I read it.  Ah well.  I'm finished and that's what counts. <ul><li><a href="http://the-big-weight.blogspot.com/2012/08/made-to-crave-ch-1-reflections.html" target="_blank">Chapter 1 Reflections</a></li><li><a href="http://the-big-weight.blogspot.com/2012/08/made-to-crave-ch-2-reflections.html" target="_blank">Chapter 2 Reflections</a></li><li><a href="http://the-big-weight.blogspot.com/2012/08/made-to-crave-ch-3-reflections.html" target="_blank">Chapter 3 Reflections</a></li><li><a href="http://the-big-weight.blogspot.com/2012/09/made-to-crave-ch-4-reflections.html" target="_blank">Chapter 4 Reflections</a></li><li><a href="http://the-big-weight.blogspot.com/2012/09/made-to-crave-chapter-5.html" target="_blank">Chapter 5 Reflections</a> </li></ul>Highlighted passages from this chapter: <ul><li>"How do you grow closer to God?"  "By making the choice to deny ourselves something that is permissible but not beneficial.  And making this intentional sacrifice for the sole purpose of growing closer to God.  After all, Jesus said, 'If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.'" </li><li>"Yes, I want to lose weight. But this journey is so much more than just that. It really is about learning to tell myself no and learning to make wiser choices daily.  And somehow becoming a woman of self-discipline honors God and helps me live the godly characteristic of self-control.  The fruit of the Spirit is a list of godly characteristics: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  In the end, pursuing self-control does help my heart feel closer to Jesus and more pure to receive what he wants for me each day...." </li><li>"....live with the willingness to walk away when the Holy Spirit nudges you and says, 'That food choice is permissible but not beneficial - so don't eat it.'" </li><li>Prayer to pray: "I need wisdom to make wise choices.  I need insight to remember the words I've read in Scripture.  I need power beyond what I can find on my own." </li><li>When the apostle Paul says in Philippians 3:18-19 that "'their god is their stomach', he means that food can become so consuming that people find themselves ruled by it. [....we find that certain foods are impossible to wlak away from - we can't or won't deny ourselves an unhealthy choice in order to make a healthier one - then it's a clue we are being ruled by this food on some level.  Being ruled by something other than God diminishes our commitment and will make us feel increasingly distant from Him."</li></ul> Chapter 6 was titled "Growing Closer to God".  The reflection questions are: 1.  What is your response to the idea that we grow closer to God when we deny ourselves something that is permissible but not beneficial?  Have you ever had an experience of denying yourself that helped you grow closer to God? Do you believe this could be true for you in your battle with food? I would definitely agree that we grow closer to God when we are sacrificing something that we've made a priority in our life.  It makes total sense.  I would say that people who experience addiction can attest to this.  If you're trying to kick that habit (smoking, alcohol, drugs, food, whatever!), you know how incredibly hard it is, especially taking that first step.  You need God's help to get you through those critical moments.   I cannot say I've had an experience where I've denied myself of something and it has resulted in a closer relationship with God.  Though, that is what I have gotten out of reading this book.  If I want to be truly successful at weight loss, I need to start asking Him for help - because I prove to myself almost daily that I'm not capable of doing it alone!   By seeking His guidance, the relationship will flourish from there. 2. The apostle Paul lists self-control among the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22).  Are there areas of life in which you experience self-control and feel that your self-discipline and wise choices honor God?  For example, in your spending decisions or how you manage your time? What insights about your strengths in those areas might help you to honor God and grow in self-control with your food choices? I have thought about this exact concept over and over in my weight loss journey.  I am so disciplined with finances & concentrating on my studies, why cannot I not be that disciplined when it comes to weight loss?  I don't live beyond my means financially.  When school is in session, I don't procrastinate with studying.  Why, when it comes to weight loss, can I not translate that same level of self control to my journey?  I don't know! The way I've approached school and money management is simple:  I will not fail.  I will not spend more than I make.  I will not procrastinate/not do my homework.  Failure to abide by my goals for those two things scares the crap out of me.  Yet, with weight loss.... ugh.  So, I know I have it in me to be disciplined.  I know how to do it.  I just have to figure out how to apply that to my weight loss journey. 3. Have you ever had the experience of the Holy Spirit nudging you in connection with your food choices? If so, what was that like? If not, how do you hope the Holy Spirit might help you now? I think God is that little voice in the back of my head saying, "Hilary, you don't need to stuff your face with x, y and/or z."  Yes, I know I've heard that voice many times telling me I didn't need more of what I was eating at the time.  While there have been a few times that that voice was enough to stop me, sadly, more times than not, it hasn't.   4. As Christians, our calling - and our source of spiritual nourishment - is to do God's will and finish His work (John 4:34).  To what degree have consuming thoughts about food impacted your ability to pursue your calling and receive spiritual nourishment? I've definitely had days where I start off completely focused on my weight loss journey, ready to tackle the mountain of to-do's I have, and then something negative happens.  This could be a stressful situation at work.  A disagreement with Joel.  Whatever the case might be - something goes awry.  And then, sometimes, the way I deal with that negative emotion is to eat.  Then everything quickly goes south.  I can no longer focus on what I originally had planned to do that day because now I'm swimming in a pool of guilt for having just eaten away a day's worth, if not a week's worth, of Points.  This is just a small example.  I've had "fat days", where I just feel like such crap about myself, I cannot even get out of bed to go to work.  Now, I try not to make a habit of this (for so many reasons!), but it has been known to happen on occasion.  It's sad.  And it is getting in the way of living my life to its fullest! 5.  Would you say you are spiritually well fed, spiritually malnourished, or somewhere in between?  Have you ever tried to use food to satisfy your feelings of spiritual hunger?  What was the result? I would definitely say I'm somewhere in between.  I've definitely eaten out of all sorts of emotions on SO many occasions.  And I'm doing that to try to find happiness.  The result is the similar to the phrase "Money doesn't buy happiness".  Well, food doesn't provide happiness either.  It just digs that emotional hole even deeper.  6. If we find certain foods impossible to walk away from, this is a clue that we are being ruled by food on some level.  Are there foods you can't or won't deny yourself in order to make healthier choices? Why are these foods especially important to you?  What thoughts and feelings arise when you think about potentially giving them up? My major problem is sugar.  I love sweets.  I've tried giving them up in the past and it does bad things to me.  And what I mean by that is, I've given them up entirely with the hopes of losing weight.  What ends up happening is that I just substitute one addiction for another.  So while I've given up sugar, I end up consuming larger quantities of other things that I normally wouldn't.  Then I really gain the weight!  One thing I have to come to terms with about one of the main points of this book is "deprivation".  Lysa, in my opinion, says that if we deprive ourselves of certain foods, we then form a closer relationship with God (not automatically of course).  That might be the case.  I'm not opposed to a closer relationship with Him.  However, I don't believe that that is the answer for me.  Yes, I know I need to limit the quantity of food I eat daily.  Yes, I do believe there are foods that I should cut out of my life completely because there is just no nutritional benefit to them.  However, I don't want to give up sweets entirely.  I just want to learn how to have them in moderation.  I believe that God can help me achieve that as well. I don't know why sweets are so important to me.  When I think about giving them up for eternity, I'm afraid I'm going to miss out on some epic tasting food!  Frankly, it just seems wrong to live without chocolate.  I'm not even being funny!  It's how I feel!  I just want to do the best that I can with what I've been given.  And right now, I am fully willing to admit that I cannot go it alone.

Made to Crave Made to Crave - Chapter 6

Tonight I just finished Made to Crave! Finally! It was a 193 page book - it shouldn't have taken me so long to read it. But my excuse...

Made to Crave - Chapter 5

4:17 PM Tukiyooo 0

At this point, I am 2 chapters shy of finishing Made to Crave.  I will provide a full review once it's over.  While it is taking me awhile to complete the reflections, I'm glad I'm doing them.  I know it's important for me to try every avenue at understanding my weaknesses when it comes to food.  This is just another approach in that discovery process. <ul><li><a href="http://the-big-weight.blogspot.com/2012/08/made-to-crave-ch-1-reflections.html" target="_blank">Chapter 1 Reflections</a></li><li><a href="http://the-big-weight.blogspot.com/2012/08/made-to-crave-ch-2-reflections.html" target="_blank">Chapter 2 Reflections</a></li><li><a href="http://the-big-weight.blogspot.com/2012/08/made-to-crave-ch-3-reflections.html" target="_blank">Chapter 3 Reflections</a></li><li><a href="http://the-big-weight.blogspot.com/2012/09/made-to-crave-ch-4-reflections.html" target="_blank">Chapter 4 Reflections</a> </li></ul> The title of this chapter was "Made for More".  I highlighted several passages from this chapter that I found thought-provoking/inspirational and wanted to share. <blockquote class="tr_bq">Passage 1: "We must ask God to join us in this journey.  We need to ask God's wisdom, revelation and intervening power to be an integral part of our food choices from now on.  Why not make this a daily prayer, first thing in the morning, before we've eaten a thing that day: 'God, I recognize I am made for more than the vicious cycle of being ruled by food.  I need to eat to live, not live to eat. So, I keep asking for Your wisdom to know what to eat and Your indwelling power to walk away from things that are not beneficial for me.'"</blockquote> <blockquote class="tr_bq">Passage 2: "The real reason for grounding ourselves in the truth that we are made for more is 'so that you may know him better'.  The more we operate in the truth of who we are and the reality that we were made for more, the closer to God we'll become."</blockquote> <blockquote class="tr_bq">Passage 3: "We would do well to pray for the eyes of our hearts to be enlightened to this hope and power.  Too many times, we try to muster up the gumption to make changes in our lives on our own.  It doesn't take long for the dark feelings of discouragement, disillusionment and defeat to fill our hearts."  </blockquote><ul></ul>1. "I was made for more" is a spiritual truth that unlocks great power for Christians.  When you think of your past failures and your current struggles with food, how do you hope this truth might help you? I think about this concept often.  There are many days where I live in disbelief that I am still struggling with this overweight lifestyle.  You know how when you're a kid, and you look up to those older than you thinking how smart they must be and how much they must know?  I always used to think, "I can't wait until I'm an independent adult.  I won't be struggling with my weight any longer.  Finally, I will be in control of my own food choices and I will, at last, overcome this battle."  It was as though, an older and wiser Hilary wouldn't be this weak and food-dependent.  Yet, here I am, 28 years old, still fighting this fight.  So yes, deep down, I know I was made for more than living like this.  I cannot live the full life that God wants me to live if I continue to overeat and, thus, get down on myself.  There are many life experiences that I have simply bypassed purely because of my weight.  I. cannot. keep. doing. this. 2. When you introduce yourself to someone you don't know, how do you define yourself?  By your family relationships (as a wife, mother, daughter, aunt)? By a professional title, or lack of one?  By where you live or go to church? What might your introduction reveal about how you understand your own identity? This question is quite appropriate, seeing as how I'm about to meet a bunch of people this weekend at FitBloggin' (which, by the way, I'm extremely nervous about it! How much of an imposter am I to be going to a FIT BLOGGING conference when I'm clearly no expert at losing weight. *sigh*)  I think the answer to this question probably depends on the setting for me.  In general, I think I probably tend to define who I am based on where I live.  For the last 6 years, the center of my universe has been my pure distaste for living in the DC area.  It's no secret to most that I absolutely hate living here. This city isn't me at all.  I would say after I describe where I'm from, my next avenue would be my profession.  I'm not sure if this is a product of living in this highly competitive/political city, but it just seems to be a standard introduction to say what you do.  It seems to be people's way of classifying you in their mind as worthy or not.  Warning: there might be some bitterness coming through in that sentence.  Anyhow, sadly, despite the fact that I just got married, the last way I would use to define myself is that I am now a wife.  Being in a relationship in this town seems to be looked down upon.  Yes, I have some married friends.  But I have just as many single friends too.  And I've definitely heard those single friends say: "I cannot imagine being married right now.  The fun would be all over."  It's like I'm being judged simply because I've found my life partner.   So what does all of that say about how I understand my own identity?  I think it says I need to re-evaluate what is truly important in life (i.e. being a wife, an aunt, a daughter), because that is what should define me.  Not where I live.  Not where I work.  Not what grade I am on the G-S scale.  Those latter things are superficial in my book. How does all of that translate to weight loss?  For me, I think it says that sometimes I want to lose weight for the wrong reasons.  Yes, I want to feel better about myself and be healthy.  But I cannot deny that I want to feel more accepted in this harsh, skinny-friendly world.  I know I am judged on my weight more often than not.  I try to overcome it by having a bolder personality and making jokes, but that can sometimes be a cover up.  Anyhow... I need to stop and move on to the next question :). 3. Lysa describes how she once defined her identity by her circumstances: Lysa, the broken girl from a broken home; Lysa, the girl rejected by her father; Lysa, the girl sexually abused by a grandfather figure.  Have you ever felt your identity was defined by your circumstances?  If you were to describe your identity as Lysa did, what would be on your list? -Hilary, the girl who has to live in this city that she hates because of her husband's financial obligations.  -Hilary, the girl who was made fun of in the girl's locker room in high school for being fat. -Hilary, the girl who cannot live her life to its fullest because she's fat. -Hilary, the girl who feels like she is never going to accomplish anything in life until she loses this weight, because only then will she know that she can do anything she sets her mind to.  -Hilary, the girl who can never seem to get anything right the first time and now has to return to school to pursue the career she truly wants to have. 4. Take a moment to review the following list of statements, inserting your name before each one.  How does this understanding of how God sees you impact the circumstance-based view of your identity you listed in response to question 3? -Hilary, the forgiven child of God. (Romans 3:24) -Hilary, the set-free child of God. (Romans 8:1-2) -Hilary, the accepted child of God. (1 Corinthians 1:2) -Hilary, the holy child of God. (1 Corinthians 1:30) -Hilary, the made-new child of God. (2 Corinthians 5:17) -Hilary, the loved child of God. (Ephesians 1:4) -Hilary, the close child of God. (Ephesians 2:13) -Hilary, the confident child of God. (Ephesians 3:12) -Hilary, the victorious child of God. (Romans 8:37) Those sentences should be completely enough to negate all that I said in question 3.  Unfortunately, it's not that easy.  Yes, I should make a more consolidated effort to read the Bible, attend church regularly and pray more often in order to develop a better relationship with God so that I can free myself of those demeaning thoughts in question 3. 5. Refer back to page 51 or your Bible.  Reread Ephesians 1:17-20 and reflect on the key themes of the passage using the questions below. <blockquote class="tr_bq">a) Be persistent: "I keep asking".  Do you have any reservations about asking God for wisdom and power each day to help you on this journey?  How do you hope persistent prayer might help you? My reservations from asking God for help on this journey is because I feel like He's got better things to do.  People are dying from cancer.  I am simply trying to lose weight.  It's not the same. How can I whine about weight loss when much more serious things are going on in this world.  I feel that my weight loss prayers are not worthy.  I guess I would hope that persistent prayer might reveal to me that what I just said really isn't true.  He cares about us all, regardless of the magnitude of our battles. b) Embrace a true identity: "Glorious Father." With what untruths about your identity have you struggled?  How might your life change if you could embrace the truth of your identity as a child of God?  The untruths I struggle with are that I'm just always going to be this overweight person who cannot accomplish anything in life.  And while, yes, I know I've accomplished some milestones in my life thus far, those seemed so easy compared to this journey.  I think that my life would change in that if I truly had more faith that God would get me through this journey if I just asked, I would feel The Big Weight lifted from my shoulders. c) Find the deeper reason: "So that you may know him better."  How might God use your journey toward healthy eating as a way to help you get to know Him better? Oh I have no doubt that the goal of this journey isn't just to lose weight, it is to get to know Him better.  I know that there is simply no way I'm going to accomplish The Big Weight without him.  Plain and simple.  The struggles I'm going through at this point can only be overcome by my asking for His help. d) Discover a hope and power like no other: "That the eyes of your heart might be enlightened."  To what degree do you feel like everything depends on you - your willpower and determination?  A little, a lot? To what degree do you believe that the same power that raised Jesus from the dead is also available to help you? A little, a lot? As you reflect back on each day, how will you know whether you relied on your own strength or leaned into God's strength?  I do often feel like, because of what I said in question A, that I should be able to accomplish this weight loss on my own if I just had more willpower and determination.  While deep down I should believe that the same power that raised Jesus from the dead is the same power available to me, again, I don't feel like my measly weight loss issues are that worthy.  I mean come on, Jesus died on the cross to save us all.  I'm trying to lose weight so that I can have a better life.  It doesn't seem comparable in the least!  I think that if I can allow myself to start asking God for his help, regardless of the guilt I feel in doing so, that eventually I will just know deep down that my success is coming from His doing, and not mine.  It's how I felt when God brought Joel back to me after the Terrible Awful.  Believe me, nothing or no one could have changed Joel's mind when he walked out that door in February.  But God did.  I know that because I feel it deep down in my soul.</blockquote> If you made it this far, thanks for reading!  :)

Made to Crave Made to Crave - Chapter 5

At this point, I am 2 chapters shy of finishing Made to Crave. I will provide a full review once it's over. While it is taking me awhi...

Made to Crave - Ch 4 Reflections

5:22 PM Tukiyooo 0

I'm back again for more reflections!  So glad I decided to do this via TBW... I enjoy going back through and re-reading my thoughts.  Hopefully it helps these ideas stick! <a href="http://the-big-weight.blogspot.com/2012/08/made-to-crave-ch-1-reflections.html" target="_blank">Chapter 1 Reflections.</a> <a href="http://the-big-weight.blogspot.com/2012/08/made-to-crave-ch-2-reflections.html" target="_blank">Chapter 2 Reflections.</a> <a href="http://the-big-weight.blogspot.com/2012/08/made-to-crave-ch-3-reflections.html" target="_blank">Chapter 3 Reflections.</a> 1. When a friend expresses success with healthy food choices and losing weight, do you feel encouraged and inspired by her example, or do you feel discouraged and envious?  Do you communicate your feelings to your friend or keep them to yourself? What a great question!  Honestly, the answer here for me depends on who the person is.  I am very often encouraged by several of your stories, and when you share a loss with me I am genuinely thrilled for you.  I also find it inspiring.  One of my absolute favorite weight loss bloggers started her journey near the current weight that I am today, and she is so close to reaching her goal.  That is very inspiring to me.  I know it's not always been an easy road for her, so when she has a victory, I'm thrilled and inspired to know that I can do it too. Conversely, there are some people who shared weight loss victories with me where I immediately get upset.  This mostly occurs with people in my "real" life (i.e. not bloggers!).  I wouldn't even say the feeling is of envy for me, as much as it is of annoyance and frustration.  So,  you're 5'8", 130ish lbs and you think you need to lose weight?  I have a hard time getting excited for people who think they have 5 lbs to lose or 10 lbs to lose when they hardly realize what it's like to live an obese lifestyle.  I also often feel even more like $hit when super skinny people share their weight loss victories with me, because I feel like.... they're telling the fat girl in order to make me jealous?  Perhaps I over think this! 2. Complete this sentence:  I do/do not want to invite a friend to help me on my journey to healthy eating because____________________. My friends in this journey are you guys.  You guys who know exactly what it's like to fight the good fight of loads of weight to lose.  I will honestly tell you that in my real life, there is not a single person who I would invite along to help me on this journey.  Come to think of it, I actually do not have a single close friend who is/was fat, and therefore I wouldn't ever feel good about inviting any of my current friends along on this journey.  At the end of the day, they don't know what it's like to have nearly 100 lbs to lose.  They don't know what it's like to eat in an uncontrollable way.  They cannot possibly remotely relate to the struggles I've dealt with for just about half of my life.   Do you sense bitterness? Ha!  Perhaps there is a little of that thrown in there! 3. If accountability is crucial, what is the biggest challenge you face in making accountability part of your healthy eating plan? Not tracking absolutely everything I put into my mouth, regardless of the fact that it will send me into the red for the week - is the biggest challenge I have.  Why is it hard for me to track?  Mainly because tracking that setback forces me to come to terms with the guilt and reality of the crap I just ate.  Seeing eTools going into the red (yes, it happens!) makes me feel like a huge failure! Still, tracking is so important because, more times than not, when I've tracked a "detour", I feel so much better when I see that it really wasn't as bad as I thought.  Therefore, by tracking and seeing the numbers in black and white ("Oh, that wasn't so bad afterall"), I don't send myself into a downward binging spiral.  Certainly, there are times when it is as bad as I thought, but I still feel all the better because I wrote it down. I've had this mindset that if I don't write it down, it "never happened".  Yeah, I know. Stupid!   You know where that gets me though?  A gain on the scale (or no loss).   Tighter pants and shirts.  Feelings of sluggishness.  The scale can sometimes lie (i.e. you ate well all week and you were "robbed" by the scale).  However, the way you truly feel does not lie.   Not only that, you obviously know you ate a bunch of crap that you chose not to acknowledge on paper (or eTools, in my case).  Pretending it didn't happen does absolutely no good for you (or me, rather!). 4. If you were to imagine a life-giving experience of accountability, one that empowers you and helps you to feel companioned rather than alone in your struggles, how would you describe that experience?  What kind of person would you want to be accountable to?  What do you hope this person would do for you?  What do you hope they would not do?  How would you determine whether or not the relationship is providing effective accountability? I think the way I envision it is just that I would have a best bud that I could check in with as often as I needed to.  I would want to be accountable to someone who is going to support me in my journey, giving me encouragement when I need it, but to also push me and set me straight when I'm being a sissy.  What I would not want them to do is leave me hanging.  I would pretty much want someone at my beck and call! LOL... Obviously this person probably doesn't exist.. that's what God is for right?  But at the end of the day, I wouldn't want this person to judge me.  I wouldn't want them to make me feel like a failure.  I would just want undying support whenever I needed it. Share some of your answers with me!

Made to Crave Made to Crave - Ch 4 Reflections

I'm back again for more reflections! So glad I decided to do this via TBW... I enjoy going back through and re-reading my thoughts. Ho...

Made to Crave - Ch 3 Reflections

12:35 PM Tukiyooo 0

I really love this book and the things I'm learning.  I hope that someone out there is reaping some benefits from my reflections, but if not - I most definitely am! <a href="http://the-big-weight.blogspot.com/2012/08/made-to-crave-ch-1-reflections.html" target="_blank">Chapter 1</a>. <a href="http://the-big-weight.blogspot.com/2012/08/made-to-crave-ch-2-reflections.html" target="_blank">Chapter 2</a>. Chapter 3: Getting a Plan 1. What thoughts, images, or emotions do you associate with the word plan?  Are you the kind of person who says, "I love it when a plan comes together!" or are you more likely to say, "Plan-schamn, can't we all just go with the flow?" I do love a good plan.  I do.  Like when we go on vacation, I drive Joel crazy with my Frommer's guide books.  I enjoy having some direction from day to day, especially when on a vacation. However, when it comes to planning anything related to healthy eating, I cringe at the thought of planning.  Lately, planning for me means something else I'm going to fail at.  It takes a lot of work to plan a variety of meals for each week.  Additionally, it takes a few minutes (yes, just minutes) each night to plan out my menu for the next day.  I'd rather be doing other things instead of pre-tracking my Points.  Other than the time devotion to pre-tracking, I think what I enjoy about not pre-tracking is the surprise of what I might get to eat from day-to-day.  I track as I go.  A lot of good this has done for me! 2. Are there areas of your life in which having a plan works well for you?  For example, in your finances, for vacation trips, accomplishing daily tasks, reaching professional goals, reading through the Bible in a year.  In these areas of your life, does having a plan feel empowering or restrictive?  Do your feelings change when the plan is about food, what you will eat and not eat? As I said above, I thrive with plans in certain aspects of my life.  I need that structure.  I need something that I can compare my current status against to know how/if I'm reaching my goals, whether that be with money savings, daily to-do lists, how far along I am in nursing school, etc.  For the most part, having a plan in areas of my life is very empowering for me.  I feel in control.  Though I have to admit, sometimes I feel like a slave to my plan.  I wish I could be more spontaneous at times.  But then again, I choose spontaneity with food and that gets me NO WHERE.  Reading that part of the question felt so good by the way.  I often wonder how I can get it together with almost every other area of my life but not with food.  I feel like I am the only person who struggles with justifying my meal choices (i.e. choosing Chick Fil A over eating my nicely portioned out, PointsPlus friendly packed lunch).  Or I feel alone with not being able to gain control over food.  I think this is because a lot of the blogs I read for inspiration are people who have already accomplished most, if not all, of their weight loss goals.  Then I think, "Well obviously they knew how to resist temptation or restrict themselves from certain foods/cravings, but I just don't have that ability." 3. "My changing body revealed all my secrets...Poor choices with food will rat me out every time".  What is the relationship between food and secrets?  What secrets do you think your body reveals? I think the relationship between food and secrets is that there are no secrets!  If you continue to feed your body that 6 pack of fresh, Krispy Kreme doughnuts, it's eventually going to catch up with you somewhere on your body.  I am a 240 lbs female.  I am this weight for a reason, and that reason is not because I binge on lettuce!  I don't think it's any secret that I have an issue with food because I think generally speaking, overweight people are overweight because we don't know how to eat properly.  Yes, there are exceptions to every rule.  But, the fact of the matter is, I have a badonka-donk the size that I do because of my poor eating choices! 4. Choosing a healthy eating plan that works for you may require research, experimentation, and consultation with your doctor or other health care professionals.  How does the prospect of doing these things make you feel?  Does it energize you and help you to feel equipped or does it overwhelm you and make you feel discouraged? I wish I could undo all my poor eating habits related to Weight Watchers and start with a clean slate.  For instance, because I don't like many vegetables, I rarely get in the daily required amount from WW.  A lot of times I forget there is even a required amount!  Why?  I've ignored it for so long it's as though I've developed "Hilary's Modified WW Plan". I've been working on going back through my WW materials and re-reading everything, trying to undo the poor habits I've acquired over the years.  The only feeling I have about this right now is exhaustion from constantly "starting over". 5. Lysa described her food plan but emphasized the importance of choosing a healthy plan that works for you.  What words or phrases would you use to describe the kind of plan you think would be realistic for you over the long term?  On a scale of one to ten, how hopeful are you that you can find a realistic food plan, one that you can grow to love just as Lysa grew to love her food plan? I'm confident that WW is the plan for me.  I truly believe this am.  I don't think WW is my issue here.  I think I am my issue here!  I want a plan that is flexible enough to satisfy my picky eating but easy enough to understand and follow.  I also want a plan that gives me the ability to do the cooking, rather than subscribing to pre-made meals.  WW is definitely all of that.  The problem is not WW.  The problem is centered around my relationship with food and how I idolize it.

Made to Crave Made to Crave - Ch 3 Reflections

I really love this book and the things I'm learning. I hope that someone out there is reaping some benefits from my reflections, but if...

Made to Crave - Ch 2 Reflections

3:00 AM Tukiyooo 0

I'm already on chapter 6 of this book!  I'm really enjoying the bits of advice so far.  Below are my reflections from chapter 2. Chapter 1 Reflections can be found <a href="http://the-big-weight.blogspot.com/2012/08/made-to-crave-ch-1-reflections.html" target="_blank">here</a>. Chapter 2 - Replacing My Cravings: 1.  When it comes to your relationship with food, what repeated behaviors or events describe the cycle you experience and feel powerless to stop? When it comes to eating in general (not following a healthy eating plan), I have a major problem with emotional eating.  I eat out of boredom, sadness, stress and loneliness.  I also experience strong cravings for sweets. I feel powerless to stop the emotional eating because as much as it sucks after the binge, for that particular moment in time, there is nothing that will satisfy that emotion but shoving food into my mouth.  So, I guess I need to keep myself busy, happy, stress-free and around others? Easier said than done. I have proven to myself, <a href="http://the-big-weight.blogspot.com/2012/07/cutting-back-on-sugar-for-july.html" target="_blank">recently</a> in fact, that I can live without sweets, at least in the short term.  However, it's not beneficial to me because when I do allow myself to eat them again, I go crazy and binge on sweets.  I would like to limit my intake of sweets, to say, 1-2 sweet treats per day.  I mainly crave them after lunch and after dinner.  So there's a possible solution to this overabundance-of-sweets problem!  I'll give that a go this week and see how it goes. What I really need to do is incorporate prayer into these 2 situations when I feel powerless to food. 2. There are many reasons we have for wanting to eat differently - losing weight, fitting into a favorite pair of jeans, looking good for an important event.  What reasons motivate your desire to eat healthier?  Do these reasons give your struggles with food a purpose strong enough to help you resist unhealthy eating?  How do you respond to Lysa's statement: "I had to see the purpose of my struggle as something more than wearing smaller sizes and getting compliments from others....It had to be about something more than just me"? I listed 17 reasons for why I wanted to lose weight <a href="http://the-big-weight.blogspot.com/2011/09/why-do-you-want-to-lose-weight.html" target="_blank">here</a>.  I guess if those reasons were enough to have me eat healthier, I would be dropping weight like it's going out of style.  In years past, I think the typical reasons for losing weight (as mentioned in the question and in my previous post) were enough for me at the time.  Now, however, it's different.  I think that this time around it has to be more about improving on my relationship with God.  It's clear that I cannot do this journey alone - I need His strength and guidance to reach my goals. 3. "I had to get honest enough to admit it: I relied on food more than I relied on God.  I craved food more than I craved God. Food was my comfort.  Food was my reward.  Food was my joy.  Food was what I turned to in times of stress, sadness and even in times of happiness."  Consider your eating experiences over the last few days or weeks.  Using the list below, can you recall specific situations in which you turned to food for these reasons? I want to point out that I think you can really insert any problem into this and all questions in this book. Replace the word "food" and insert the word(s) alcohol, drugs, shopping, sex, etc into the sentences above.  The same principles apply. <ul><li>Comfort - I was feeling anxious last night about the amount of schoolwork I have piled up for the next several days, and so I ate (chocolate no less) while sitting in front of the TV to calm my nerves.  Please note that the chocolate didn't do the textbook reading for me!  </li><li><strike>Reward</strike></li><li>Joy - Joel and I enjoyed ice cream and alcohol both nights while at the beach.... as a celebration of sorts for our vacation in a new place.</li><li>Stress - on the drive home yesterday we stopped at a Wendy's to take a break from the blinding rain storm.  I ate and I wasn't even hungry.</li><li>Sadness - I ate more before I went to bed last night because I was sad for not staying within my DPT yesterday.... as a result of poor eating earlier in the day.</li><li>Happiness - this would be the same as joy...</li></ul><div>Keeping the same situations in mind, how do you imagine your experiences might have been different if you had relied on God, craved God, instead of turning to food?</div><div> </div><div>For starters, I wouldn't be spending the rest of this week trying to undo all the damage I did last night/yesterday.  I also believe I would have received more of a depth of comfort from God if I would have consulted Him with my troubles rather than turning to food.  Food cannot accomplish my studies for me, but perhaps by praying I could have found peace in Him knowing that He will help me get through whatever assignments I have mapped out for the week.  I know that turning to God will fulfill my needs completely, rather than food, but I need to practice turning to Him instead of food.</div><div> </div><div>4. How do you respond to the idea of using your cravings as a prompt to pray?  How had prayer helped or failed to help in your previous food battles?</div><div> </div><div>I think using cravings as a prompt to pray is a great idea.  I haven't used this technique in the past so I have no immediate experience as it helping me before.  However, I think the same thing applies as I said in the previous question.  It is putting this idea into practice.  When I have a craving, my automatic response (most of the time) is to satisfy the craving without even thinking twice.  I need to get into the habit of recognizing the craving, then reminding myself to pray about it first, and then walk away from the craving knowing I can because of Him.</div><div> </div><div>5.  Brick by brick (or craving by craving), Lysa dismantled her tower of impossibility and used the same bricks to build a walkway of prayer, paving the path to victory.  Brick by brick in an effective way to dismantle something but it also takes time and careful work.  In your battles with food, are you more likely to choose a drastic, quick-fix approach or a moderate but longer-term approach?  What thoughts or feelings emerge when you consider dismantling your own tower of impossibility one craving at a time?</div><div> </div><div>I am more like to choose a moderate, long-term approach to removing this weight.  This is the longest I've ever stuck to trying to lose weight without completely giving up.  This is also because I am committed to finding something that works for the longterm, not just to meet some short term goals to only have it backfire later on.  For example, I've had people suggest that in order to accomplish sticking to a plan, I should just eat the same few things everyday - that way I don't have to worry about planning each week.  I did this before and it worked for me.  However, there are a lot of foods I cannot even stomach the thought of today because I just ate that same stuff over and over and over again.  Did it yield results?  It sure did, but eventually I gained all the weight back, plus 10 lbs.  I enjoy variety with my food, and I'm trying to find a longterm approach to getting to enjoy variety, while still being able to lose, and eventually maintain my loss.  </div><div> </div><div>Taking a more moderate approach takes time as well as trial and error.  There are days when I just want to revert back to eating the same 5 meals every single day just to get the weight off quickly.  However, I know this didn't work for me before and so I have to remind myself to be patient and deal with each issue as it comes.  I think if I can get a handle on my cravings, one craving at a time, I will enter into a world of joy and success!</div>

Made to Crave Made to Crave - Ch 2 Reflections

I'm already on chapter 6 of this book! I'm really enjoying the bits of advice so far. Below are my reflections from chapter 2. Cha...

Made to Crave - Ch 1 Reflections

7:38 PM Tukiyooo 0

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.lifecoachingforchristianwomen.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/made-to-crave1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://www.lifecoachingforchristianwomen.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/made-to-crave1.jpg" width="134" /></a></div>I just started reading <a href="http://madetocrave.org/" target="_blank">Made to Crave</a> a few days ago.  I'm only two chapters in, but I've decided to document the chapter reflections here.  If you've read this book, please feel free to give your feedback!  If you'd rather not follow along - I understand that as well. I'm going to steal the cover's tagline, because it summarizes what this book is about perfectly.  Made to Crave is about "satisfying your deepest desire with God, not food". I bought this book months ago and had it on my 2012 reading list.  It's 2012 the last time I checked, and so this baby was next on my list!  I think some of these questions at the end of the chapters are a little cheesy, but I'll go with it! Chapter 1 - What's Really Going On Here?: <div style="color: #351c75;"> </div><div style="color: #351c75;">1. If you could personify your cravings based on your experience of it, what form might it take?  Would it be like the little orange Weight Watcher mascot (remember him?)  or would it take a different shape?  Describe what your craving looks like and how it behaves.  If you could sit down and have a conversation with this craving, what do you think it might say to you?  What questions would you want to ask it?  How do you imagine it might respond?</div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.framestore-cfc.com/sites/default/files/styles/hero_720x406px/public/work/weightwatchers_showdown_30_02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://www.framestore-cfc.com/sites/default/files/styles/hero_720x406px/public/work/weightwatchers_showdown_30_02.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> Honestly, I'd say when I think of what my craving might "look" like, I think of the devil!  You know that devil/angel shoulder thing like you see in the movies?  I think of it exactly that way - the devil whispering in my ear to "go ahead and eat that entire bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups!"  There is always that tiny voice in the back of my head saying, "You don't need that Hilary".  But then, when the craving comes on strong, it's as though adrenaline starts pumping through me.   I have to do whatever I can to satisfy that craving, despite the little "angel" telling me I don't need it.  If I had a convo with this character, I'd imagine he (yes, definitely a man!) would be trying to convince me to eat all the wrong things in all the wrong quantities.  However, I wouldn't even want to converse with the bastard - I'd tell it to get lost!  I'd imagine him slithering away into the darkness, kind of like Ursula in The Little Mermaid - no doubt to reappear again later in another guise.  It's kind of hard to tell the devil to go to hell when he's already there! <div style="color: #351c75;"> </div><div style="color: #351c75;">2.  How do you respond to the idea that God made us to crave?  Have you ever pursued a craving that made a positive contribution to your life?  What do you think distinguishes that kind of craving from the craving that leads you to eat in unhealthy ways?</div> As you can see, these questions are loaded! :)  I agree with what the book says.  From a religious standpoint, I agree that we are made to have a 100% desire/craving for God, and nothing else.   But we are sinners, and that's just not how it is unfortunately.  I hope that one day I can look back and say, "I wasn't passionate about my current job, so I decided to pursue a career where I can help people - nursing - and it has made ALL the difference!"  That would then be a great example of where pursing a "craving" paid off in a positive way!   I think the distinction between positive impact "cravings" and negative/sinful ones is the ease at which they can be accomplished.  It's not hard to give in to a food temptation at all.  However, trying to pursue your dream career, your passion, that takes work and dedication and perseverance and faith - it's not a quick fix!   Anything worth having is worth working hard for! 3.  If it's true that we're made to crave, how might it change the way you understand your cravings?  Do you believe there could be any benefits to listening to your cravings rather than trying to silence them?  If so, what might those benefits be?  If not, why not? <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQgZ8I7yooqoeE0ekx3R6RgwFbDblpMRVc0oh1Z6Z2aBxv0T1Chejh2kZiZY7aQbJQVJKdez1tqkAzEZBw692ZpqoWTRUhQjr8sQDbaRPfk_A3PZ3zpkQCisFIYzKfC_YZnRmyY9JnZY8/s1600/does+this+serve.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQgZ8I7yooqoeE0ekx3R6RgwFbDblpMRVc0oh1Z6Z2aBxv0T1Chejh2kZiZY7aQbJQVJKdez1tqkAzEZBw692ZpqoWTRUhQjr8sQDbaRPfk_A3PZ3zpkQCisFIYzKfC_YZnRmyY9JnZY8/s320/does+this+serve.jpg" width="255" /></a></div> I guess this is about realizing that it's not necessarily a bad thing that we have this emotion, this desire, within us that causes us to crave things.  The distinction is what we're craving and why.  So, we don't necessarily need to say to ourselves, "I wish I didn't have any cravings at all!"  We just need to crave the right things for the right reasons.  I think there is a huge benefit to listening to your cravings.  For example, I know I crave sweets a lot, but it's usually due to boredom, stress, sadness, loneliness, etc.  I really should be address those emotions, instead of drowning them out with food.  <div style="color: #351c75;"> </div><div style="color: #351c75;">4. The Bible describes 3 ways Satan tries to lure us away from loving God: cravings, lust of the eyes and boasting (1 John 2:15-16).  Lysa explains how Satan used these tactics with both Eve and Jesus (in the book).  Using the list below, think back over the last 24 hours or the last few days to see if you recognize how you may have been tempted in similar ways.</div> <ul><li>Cravings: meeting physical desires outside the will of God.  In what ways were you tempted by desires for things such as food, alcohol, drugs or sex?  We have a Krispy Kreme doughnut shop near our house.  We just recently visited it for the first time!  WHAT A MISTAKE!!  Now every time I drive past it I have an intense desire for a glazed doughnut!  </li></ul> <ul><li>Lust of the eyes:  meeting material desires outside the will of God.  In what ways were you tempted by desires for material things - clothing, financial portfolio, appliances, vacation plans, cosmetics, home decor, electronics, etc?  Confession: I LOVE shopping.  This one is right up my alley.  What keeps me "in line" is that I refuse to go into debt, so I don't have a problem in that I have credit card bills that are never paid off.  However, that doesn't mean it's not a problem at all!  I have a nail polish addiction, and just this past weekend I caved and bought 2 Nicole by OPI polishes.  Didn't need them at all - but I gave into that desire.  There is nothing I need right now at all, but I desperately wanted to go clothes shopping and jewelry shopping this weekend.  I did a quick scan in Target of the jewelry and left with nothing (thank God!).  But yes, this is a problem for me.</li></ul><ul><li>Boasting: meeting needs for significance outside the will of God.  In what ways were you tempted by desires to prop up your significance - perhaps by name dropping, exaggerating, feigning humility or other virtues, doing something just because you knew it would be observed by others, etc?  I am a flowery story teller, also known by most as "being dramatic".  It is a weakness - I want validation from my listeners that my story is enticing.  While this wasn't mentioned in the book, but can we say Facebook?  I mean, isn't that what FB is about anymore?  Posting pictures in order to boast about your life.  I'm guilty of this too!</li></ul> Of the 3 kinds of temptations, which is the most difficult for you to resist?  Which is the easiest? Why?  The most difficult to resist is a tie between cravings and lust of the eyes.  I love shopping and I love eating.  It's a very close tie.  The least is boasting.  I would actually rather operate my life with integrity and humbleness and I have some great mentors who behave that way.  I just need to get there too. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuphC0493hl_30JbTQfdevrls5YUBHMyEP9iCbtUUAioI313J25ZYV_m1SSH2lrPTf_7p_MhECvRy5axelJ_GmDg8DrTpqb9YwsDUfZH61k7F-Oxzk1E0iQ6Y7BIeI80FkIENRJBTyvaE/s1600/live+in+such+a+way.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuphC0493hl_30JbTQfdevrls5YUBHMyEP9iCbtUUAioI313J25ZYV_m1SSH2lrPTf_7p_MhECvRy5axelJ_GmDg8DrTpqb9YwsDUfZH61k7F-Oxzk1E0iQ6Y7BIeI80FkIENRJBTyvaE/s320/live+in+such+a+way.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <div style="color: #351c75;"> </div>5.  Jesus quotes the truth of Scripture to defeat temptation.  Have you ever used Scripture this way?  What was the result?  How do you feel about the idea of using this approach to address your unhealthy eating patterns?  I have actually used this in the face of fear.  When we had the earthquake last year, I feel as though I had PTSD over it.  In fact, I'm still not over it, a year later.  The only thing that got me going to work again was writing down scripture on notecards and reciting them to myself on the way in to work.  Yes, it helped a GREAT deal.  It got my butt to/from work each day, and I couldn't have done it any other way.  I think I need to take this same approach to addressing my food cravings - no doubt I would yield the same results! I'm actually glad that I took the time to go through these questions, as much as I dreaded this :).  I learned a few things and I hope you did too! I hope your Monday went smoothly!