One email made me see the need to clarify. I didn't really want to but I suppose there's others thinking the same thing. I wish you'd bothered to sign it or told me who you were... I think it was excessively harsh, especially given that you don't have a clue about what is going on in this respect and in my life in general. But, I put it out there and can accept your criticism. And while you have no clue about how to play nice, I'm thinking other people have probably got this in their heads too.
You don't know. You have no freaking idea what I've been through in life or what happens every day. I wasn't raised in the loving home that most of you were. I could rattle off the things that make me the person I am today and it would read like a grand work of fiction. You would shake your head in disbelief. But, I pulled myself through and consider myself a successful person today.
Yes, my husband is working late every day. Yes, I know that's the line that every single person in an affair uses. Perhaps I'm an idiot, but i will continue to live with the trust that he isn't sleeping around until I have genuine reason to believe otherwise. The sex? He's 43... sex drive starts to wane at some point in our lives. I don't need to have it pointed out how stupid I am. You're not here, you don't know.
I want to make it abundantly clear that in no way do I consider this an emotional affair. Nothing you can tell me will change my opinion of that. Even IF it were, there are many bloggers here who are having a real physical sexual affair. They are still accepted for who they are.
This might not be "right" and I know it's probably not. This isn't a sexual thing. We are not talking about sex and I'm not sending him detailed reports about sexual things, it's just not like that at all. I don't harbor fantasies about him, nor does he about me.
And here is what is right for me. I feel like he is giving me some structure and focus. I now have some rules. They're not random little submissive rules like kneeling before i go to bed. They're rules that are going to help me be a better person for my family. I won't lie, it does go beyond that some, but the structure and focus are big thing for me.
So call it what you may... I'm a better person for it. And crazy as it sounds, this may be the thing that saves my marriage in the end. Maybe with the structure that I know I need, maybe then I can be a better person who is more lovable.
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Posted by: Tukiyooo
Clarifying things Updated at :
8:20 AM
Monday, September 30, 2013
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