Hola sinners, offenders and atoners! Since today is Yom Kippur I thought I should probably use this blog to issue some very much deserved apologies to some people even though I’m neither Jewish nor in a 12 Step Program.
- I apologize to the woman on Twitter who I called “cunt breath” not too long ago. I don’t remember your name, but I probably shouldn’t have called you that. Hell, I don’t even know what “cunt breath” means.
- I apologize to my loud-ass hillbilly neighbors for making fun of how loud you guys are. It was only recently that I learned that one of the big physical defects of inbred mountain people is severe hearing loss. I was very wrong of me to mock how loudly you guys talk now that I know this little tidbit.
- I apologize to people who live in the rural areas of the south for that “hillbilly” crack.
- I apologize to my friend, co-host and partner in crime Matt-Man for calling him “Mattcicle” so many times. Actually, I’m sorrier that the name didn’t catch on with others than anything though.
- Also, for calling Matt-Man “Mitt-Man” yesterday. Totally uncalled for.
- I apologize to lazy-ass Montero driving neighbor for giving him so much virtual shit over the internet for his inability to fix his Gawd Damn tire that was either flat or really low all the time for what seemed like months. I realize that sometimes people are so busy and have so many responsibilities that they don’t always have the extra seven minutes it would take to get a tire fixed. Not that he is, but other people are.
- I apologize to all the people on reality shows who are just trying to get through life the best they know how just like the rest of us. Except the Kardashians. Jesus I fucking hate them.
- I apologize to Mitt Romney for calling him an arrogant, elitist, mean-spirited condescending prick that lacks any convictions or moral compass whatsoever. Not that he deserves an apology, but I’m sure he feels like he’s entitled to one.
- I apologize to all the people we, okay I, have mocked or insulted either here on the I’m With Stupid podcast. Except atheist vegans who run marathons. Fuck those people.
- Speaking of the podcast, I apologize to all the people that IWS has made to feel inferior by crushing them in the ratings. It wasn’t really intentional and we are as befuddled by our success as you are.
- Finally I would like to apologize to some of the women who I have met through various social media sites and who listen to our show and read this blog and I read their blogs and all that stuff. Not so much for being a little creepy and making you feel uncomfortable a lot of the time. I can’t really help that. But, I really feel like I should apologize for the really nasty, disgusting things I’ve done to so many of you in my dreams. Not that I have much control over that either, but I feel guilty about it. Most of the time.
Okay, there we go! That wasn’t so bad. I feel a lot better about things now and I hope that you guys do too. If you have any sins to atone for apologies you feel you need to make you can do so in our comments section. Please be as specific in your description of your sins.
Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS
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Yom Kippur Apologies List Updated at :
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Tuesday, September 25, 2012
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