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I'm not exactly in trouble but have managed to push some buttons and put myself in predicaments i shouldn't have.

It started at my daughter's school yesterday.  I was volunteering with a special event, then had lunch with her an a couple BFF's, then went out for recess together with all the other 1st graders.  Some kid threw up out there and randomly latched onto me as her savior.  I sought help with the nearest teacher who is an evil old bat who refused to help and tore into me like i was a naughty child, screaming at me that she didn't have time to deal with it and I needed to take her to the office.  Long story short, i embarrassed myself in front of my daughter and her friends, the sick child, and the small crowd of onlookers.  Appalled, i did take care of the child, got her cleaned up and started to take her in when another teacher thought i was abducting the kid or something stepped in to help.  Another mom called me last night to tell me her daughter thinks I'm like the most awesome mom on the planet for yelling at the old bat.  Everybody hates her.  We had a good laugh but I have to face the teachers each day and i'm not proud of this.  But i did the right thing for the child who was clearly not going to be helped by anyone else.  She's 6 or 7 and covered in puke.  Come on, people!  As I was leaving, the old bitch yelled to me the she thought i was a new substitute teacher... as if that made it okay to berate me and ignore the child.

I had finished off an entire bottle of wine by the time my husband got home and i didn't stop until i went to bed.  It seemed a better plan than punching someone in the throat.  But it also made me obnoxious as alcohol has a tendency to do.  If I'm in a good mood, I'm funny and everybody loves me.  If I started in a pissy mood, well, what's on my mind just spews out.  So he's upset with me still today.  He understood what had happened but expected me to just drop it. And I'm not irate that she yelled at me anymore, I was mad on behalf of that the kid and for her parents.  What if it was our kid?  So what, that was his answer.  Grrrrrr!  I'm not mad today, he needs to get over it!  Gosh, the man holds a grudge...

I was supposed to do something for Sir that afternoon, I didn't.  I got a free pass on that due to life.

But there are some rules that aren't negotiable.  HIS rules, not mine.  In my tipsy angry state, i got mad at Sir and decided not to do something.  He can't freaking make me do it!  He's not even here, he has no idea what i do!  I will NOT DO IT!  I was screaming inside, dammit I'm not going to do this.  Screw you, I'm not a child and you can't make me!  And I didn't.  I crawled into bed with my book... but kept looking over at it.  Fuck you.  I rolled over the other way and tried reading again.  Kept looking back and finally crawled out of bed... i think the ugly words were actually spewing out of my mouth and not just spinning in my head... but I did it.  I put the freaking clothes away.  Yeah, that's all it was, laundry.  It's not allowed to sit around anymore.

This morning i woke with a very uncomfortable feeling.  Do i tell Sir?  I'm running through my head trying to remember what the rule was - was it that am i not allowed to go to bed without putting it away, or was it that am I not to go to sleep without putting it away?  Technicalities... Oh who cares, it got done.  And this is spinning in my head for a while this morning.  It did come down to that I intentionally meant to disobey, and while it was the wine's fault, i still did it.  So I told him and now that needs to be dealt with.  And it's okay.  It's a weird feeling, that i was a little off and had a need to admit this.  I dunno.  Laundry is done though lol

This has nothing to do with anything but my friend sent me this.  And all i can say is yum...

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Posted by: Tukiyooo Little Predicaments Updated at : 8:22 AM
Saturday, October 5, 2013

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