One of the most frustrating things for me is I am perfectly capable of being my own life coach. I know what I need to do. I just need somebody to tell me to do it. Somebody to look at my list and tell me to first take care of this item and that one, get lunch ready (I forget to feed my family often) and then knock out this other thing on the list. THEN, I can go play.
Instead, I like to stare at my muddled mess of things to do for work, family and myself. Never quite getting anything done. I'm too busy trying to figure out how to get it done. Which never works out because life gets in the way. Or there's something else I feel like doing.
In the perfect little world inside my head, I can be my own life coach like all the other competent people are. But I can't do it alone. So that's where they other half of my perfect little imaginary world kicks in. That's the part that needs hubby. Yeah, this is the DD thing... but it's also not. It'd help if he'd talk to me, help me set goals, keep up with what I'm doing or not, generally support my efforts, let me know if I've disappointed him or others.
Nope.
So that's where the life coach idea came about from.
She's cheery and peppy. Granted it's all been email. But I already know what she looks like
And I can hear her voice through her written words and she needs to be slapped. I guess I'm not wired to appreciate a peppy little cheerleader shaking her pompoms when I cleaned the toilet.
What she can't understand is what's going on in my head. She's not a therapist, so doesn't have a grasp on the complexities of a person with issues. I can't get into what I really need with her.
Her methods are based around the notion that I will get off on seeing the laundry put away. Sorry, but I don't get my kicks because the baskets are empty. I'm not even looking for kicks. I tried to explain that I don't live in a reward-based world. I just need her help to prioritize and talk to me about what I did or didn't do, then help me with the next week. My rewards will come naturally as I manage my responsibilities better and have time to enjoy life.
She told me I have problems if I think I don't deserve rewards.
I never said I didn't deserve them. I feel strongly that laundry inside the drawers is just laundry put away. The mail sorted isn't a monumental occasion worthy of balloons and streamers. I don't run around beaming with joy, high on life because my kids' dinner didn't come from a factory.
This isn't going to work. I let her know I appreciated her time. The early communication was a time to see if we could work together. I had already paid for what was done and as agreed upon, not like I took advantage of her. It's an incompatibility of motivational styles. She responded to this with a less than friendly email. In a nutshell, I'm a big fat quitter and I'll never change if I'm not willing to put in an effort. Sigh...
Accountability. That's all I need.
I need to hire a HoH and not a life coach. Imagine how that'd go over lol
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Posted by: Tukiyooo
Now hiring: HoH Updated at :
8:09 AM
Monday, August 5, 2013
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