For us, it's not make up, then sweet lovin'. No, it's the other way around. It's emotionally charged and aggressive and almost violent. Then after, that's where the making up happens. Not that we're talking about anything, it's just that clean slate all's forgiven and fall asleep snuggled together.
And see I can write about this because I know he's never reading this ;-) It's a shame I'm not better with words. Some of you are truly gifted with them!
There was an orgasm so intense I literally cried. I wasn't upset, the tears just stated pouring which then turned into tears from laughing because they wouldn't stop.
I fessed up to him not that long ago about my darker fantasies. We're still in the learning phases of what makes me tick. It's a shame we've got to have so much resentment and hostility built up (or drunkenness) for it to get this good. So there's things that others do or like and I read them thinking there's no way I'd ever like that. Or I think it's odd how their body reacts to something, not that it's wrong but I don't understand how it's sexual in any way. Then I personally stumble into it and find a new way to rock my world.
Apparently I like having hands over my face and neck so I can't hardly breathe. Seems I like not being able to move anywhere other than my fingers and toes. The weird one. Him holding my chin so I look at his face and him asking, "Are you trying to tell me what to do?" Wow. Didn't see that one coming. But that shot straight from my ears on down...
Okay enough of that and back to the point of this.
I'm clearly not a techie person. I got my first phone that did something other than make a telephone call and sent my first text about a year ago. Yes, I'm now an addict! I was recently informed it's not Tweeter, it's Twitter. Even though the messages are tweets not twits... I am on facebook though and am being slowly fattened by pinterest. So not totally in the dark ages. But then again, I've never owned a CD... which I suppose is fine now but I don't have one of those ipad touch thingys either. I like Spotify and then XM in the car. It's all good. I feel like a little old lady sometimes but I'm not. I'm 38.
And... I didn't know that accidentally hitting publish rather than save would broadcast my rantings to the world in a way that can't be taken back. Friggin "feed" or whatever somebody said it was called. Once it's there it doesn't go away. Even when you un-publish it a millisecond later, it's stuck for eternity.. Thanks for the tip joey, I can be dense lol. And lol clearly stands for little old lady.
I didn't mean to have my temper tantrum on display. I'm glad most of you were only privy to the paragraph you got. I'd apologize for the immaturity, but it was my feelings at the time so it was what it was.
I was blown away by the emails and texts and facebook chats of concern. I am humbled by the compassion and concern. Just still cannot wrap my mind around the outpouring of support for everyone here. And to answer the burning question, no it's not all good now. Yes, we are in dire need of counseling. No, it's never gonna happen. What matters is that no matter how much we want to wring the other's neck, we do love each other. There's ups and downs. Yesterday was one of the bottomest bottoms and we're back on the upswing. I don't know what the future holds for us. I (and I suspect he as well) want to grow old together so that's the vision I choose to keep. Despite the tantrum I might have.
At least I don't do this (bad words warning) when I'm not getting my way!
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Posted by: Tukiyooo
All better now! Updated at :
2:42 PM
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
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