Into every life a little rain must fall

The Rainy Day<br /><br />Written at the old home in Portland, Maine by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow<br /><br />The day is cold, and dark, and dreary;<br />It rains,and the wind is never weary;<br />The vine still clings to the mouldering wall,<br />But at every gust the dead leaves fall,<br />And the day is dark and dreary.<br />My life is cold, and dark, and dreary;<br />It rains,and the wind is never weary;<br />My thoughts still cling to the mouldering past,<br />But the hopes of youth fall thick in the blast,<br />And the days are dark and dreary.<br />Be still, sad heart, and cease repining;<br />Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;<br />Thy fate is the common fate of all,<br />Into each life some rain must fall,<br />Some days must be dark and dreary.<br /><br />I've written several posts this past week, each one sadder and more depressing than the previous one. I didn't publish any of them. I couldn't bring myself to share my sadness with the world.<br /><br />This morning I had written an entire post about the misery of my life. I had started it with the poem above. My work, marriage, dieting...everything seem broken beyond repair. <br /><br />Then the strangest thing happened. After working from home during the morning, on a project that I've been struggling with for the last week, I decided to drive into the office. Someone that I use to work with that's on another team emailed me, asking if I was still having a problem on my project. I told him yes, I was struggling. He said he'd be in the office today and if I wanted, he'd come by my desk and seek if he could help. I quickly showered, dressed, and headed off to the office.<br /><br />When I left my house at noon, the sky was dark and dreary, it was raining and the wind was blowing. I felt like the weather perfectly matched my mood.<br /><br />As I drove the twelve miles to my office, the skies opened open, and there, in all it's glory was the sun. I hadn't seen the sun for at least a week, maybe longer. I really can't remember the last time it wasn't raining. For the last ten minutes of my commute, the sun was shining, I felt my mood lift. Suddenly things didn't seem so hopeless and impossible.<br /><br />I'd actually made a lot of headway on my project this morning, before I received the email from my friend. I still had a few things I was still having trouble figuring out, and I knew he'd know the answers, and fortunately for me, he did.<br /><br />The thing I'm working on wasn't really my project until last Wednesday. Someone else was working on it for the last several months. Without going into much detail, I was asked to take it over and get it finished quickly. One of my coworkers often teases me that when I get in a situation like this one,  I always pull a rabbit out of my hat and get the job done. This time I was really feeling like I couldn't pull it off. I've always thought that one day there was going to be something I couldn't figure out. I'm happy to say this wasn't it. I'll be finished in a couple days. <br /><br />As quickly as my work situation improved, everything else seemed to fall into place. My husband is being super sweet, feeling bad for me because I'd worked last weekend, and several evenings the past week.<br /><br />Today, for the first time in several days I ate perfectly on plan. I haven't been eating terrible, no Easter candy, no Cadbury eggs, but as usual, my portions are too large, and I was eating to much fruit (can we say banana<u><b>s</b></u>). It all adds up, a calorie is a calorie, and I know I can't eat unlimited amounts of fruit.<br /><br />It's funny how everything that seemed so bad now suddenly seems good. In every life a little rain must fall, but like Longfellow said, the sun is still there behind the clouds. And into ever life a little sun must shine.

Into every life a little rain must fall

The Rainy Day Written at the old home in Portland, Maine by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow The day is cold, and dark, and dreary; It rains,and t...

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(Not Quite) All About Bette...

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXLms7WYXMYNj_BfpRA3-lKYKeRH0sLex0CBlSF1vUyc4R4meHJuaUvBrwkmEer4LJnP17RiRDCK-P-w2ekAAvA_4lP4pebEBwLcyvox_gV8u1yPxwpXn1z-KhU4LFxsGvoO27oK-XQU4b/s1600/now+voyager+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXLms7WYXMYNj_BfpRA3-lKYKeRH0sLex0CBlSF1vUyc4R4meHJuaUvBrwkmEer4LJnP17RiRDCK-P-w2ekAAvA_4lP4pebEBwLcyvox_gV8u1yPxwpXn1z-KhU4LFxsGvoO27oK-XQU4b/s320/now+voyager+2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />Bette Davis was born 103 years ago on April 5 in Lowell, Massachusetts. She attended drama school as a young woman and made her Broadway debut in "Broken Dishes" in 1929. She headed to Hollywood in 1930 where she was tested and signed by Universal. When her Universal contract was not renewed and she was on the verge of returning to New York and Broadway she received a call from Warner Bros. This was not exactly the beginning of a beautiful friendship, but it was the beginning of the truly legendary screen career of a groundbreaking actress.<br /><a name='more'></a><br />In her career of more than 100 films, Bette Davis was nominated for 11 Best Actress Academy Awards (including one write-in campaign) and won two.<br /><br />In her heyday, Bette received Best Actress nods five years in a row and, in 1942, was the highest paid woman in America.<br /><br />She won the Cannes Film Festival's 1951 Best Actress Award for <b>All About Eve</b>.<br /><br />She was nominated for four Emmy Awards and won one. The list of her various award nominations and wins goes on and on...<br /><br />She was the first woman to be the president of AMPAS and the the first woman honored with the American Film Institute's Lifetime Achievement Award.<br /><br />She was one of a group of Hollywood stars who established the Hollywood Canteen for soldiers traveling through Los Angeles during World War II.<br /><br />Not to be forgotten (for it speaks to Bette's status as an icon)...the #1 single of 1981 and the winner of "Song of the Year" and "Record of the Year" Grammy Awards was "Bette Davis Eyes," sung by Kim Carnes.<br /><br />Even after suffering breast cancer and a stroke, Bette Davis continued acting until the final year of her life.<br />  <br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNtrvFSTrETaww-Ua6qMzqzhGD0WrTcMYtjrppQKwc4YMKGQ39p1fR9S5BJje7VydwH0rDXoOdIZsSeDIuE0IZD5prEEF_5aD6jLAmp3k4L1eJD0WEkK6nNse-LfsdkaS3wVaFwBhKjvQk/s1600/all-about-eve-anne-baxter-bette-davis-marilyn-monroe1%255B1%255D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="157" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNtrvFSTrETaww-Ua6qMzqzhGD0WrTcMYtjrppQKwc4YMKGQ39p1fR9S5BJje7VydwH0rDXoOdIZsSeDIuE0IZD5prEEF_5aD6jLAmp3k4L1eJD0WEkK6nNse-LfsdkaS3wVaFwBhKjvQk/s200/all-about-eve-anne-baxter-bette-davis-marilyn-monroe1%255B1%255D.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>All About Eve</b> (1950)</td></tr></tbody></table>Bette Davis's performances in these films were nominated for Best Actress Oscars:<br /><br /><b>Of Human Bondage </b>(1934) ( write-in)<br /><b>Dangerous </b>(1935) <br /><b>Jezebel</b> (1938) <br /><b>Dark Victory </b>(1939)<br /><b>The Letter </b>(1940)<br /><b>The Little Foxes </b>(1941)<br /><b>Now, Voyager </b>(1942)<br /><b>Mr. Skeffington </b>(1944)<br /><b>All About Eve </b>(1950)<br /><b>The Star </b>(1952)<br /><b>Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? </b>(1962)<br /><br />She won for <b>Dangerous </b>and <b>Jezebel</b> but was also "robbed" on more than one occasion...<br /><br />What else can one say about Bette Davis? A lot! However, what actor James Woods had to say in a TCM "Word of Mouth" segment a few years ago hits the bulls-eye for me and bears repeating in honor of her birthday...<br /><br /><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/pM3Ng8CY4sA" title="YouTube video player" width="480"></iframe>

Bette Davis James Woods The Lady Eve (author) (Not Quite) All About Bette...

Bette Davis was born 103 years ago on April 5 in Lowell, Massachusetts. She attended drama school as a young woman and made her Broadway deb...

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A Strange But Prophetic Day On The Strip

We were an unlikely crew of protesters: a deacon from St. Matthew’s attending her first demonstration; a deacon from Christ Church chiefly known for her pastoral and charity work; a lay person from Christ Church; a priest from Epiphany, Henderson who despite her California roots was born considerably too late to even remember the Free Speech movement; and me, the Mad Hatter Bishop. But there we were on the Strip on a bright April Day carrying signs and passing out pamphlets on the moral blight of human trafficking and child prostitution in Las Vegas.<br /><br />It may have been for the best that my colleagues were not veteran demonstrators since this was a different kind of event. First, we had to register for the Rally. Our organizers were really organized. We registered on line well in advance. Then we were required to sign liability waivers in case we twisted an ankle or got poked in the eye by a sign. Then we had to sign in at the registration site, where for a $25 donation, we got a red Not For Sale t-shirt and a bottle of water.<br />Someone eventually helped me realize that social activism has a new paradigm modeled on the marathon. <br /><br />As we walked from where we had parked our car in the Harley Davison Café parking garage, people were already stopping us to ask what this was all about. We gave them pamphlets and explained the cause which they readily supported. <br /><br />Then we took our places on the island at the corner of Harmon and Las Vegas Blvd. Other parts of our Diocese of Nevada family were elsewhere on the Strip. There were 4 venues in all. Ellie and her daughters were standing for justice at the corner of Flamingo and Las Vegas Blvd. At Harmon, we were not alone. There were a group of amiable teens of diverse ethnicity – Latino, African-American, Anglo, and Asian. The Asians were my favorite. They were vigorously chanting, “Stop Human Trafficking” while shaking their signs up and down like the folks who advertise tax preparation services. <br /><br />A truck with a mobile billboard kept circling past us. The bold billboard, with boldly dressed people on it, proclaimed “Hot Babes Direct To You.” While it was stopped at the red light, the Rev. Helen McPeak got a pic of me holding my Not For Sale sign along with the billboard. Eventually, the guy driving the truck and the demonstrators began waving when he went by.<br />This is a strange world, at least a strange city.<br /><br />The pedestrians gave us a mixed response. One tourist from Florida was supportive. We had a pleasant talk and she took a pamphlet. A couple of hours later, she came back, having just won $200 at a Casino, and wanted a pic with me, helping me hold the sign, as way to give God the glory for her winnings. It did not seem the time to engage in theology about God and gaming. I just welcomed her support.<br /><br />Many took pamphlets. One man who refused a pamphlet was wearing a t-shirt that said “Father Of The Year.” After he had turned down a pamphlet from one of the teenagers, Dcn. Carolyn Shannon stopped him, and said, “Now, wait a minute. You’re the father of the year. You need to know about this.” He took the pamphlet.<br /><br />An Imperial Storm Trooper also walked by. I could not remember whether the guys in white worked for the Evil Empire or Princess Leia’s rebels. I asked one of the teenagers. But she had never seen Star Wars. I felt old.<br /><br />We achieved our brief moment of fame when Channel 3 and Channel 5 filmed us for the evening news. It was a surreal but inspiring day in what promises to be a long term effort that is shared all over the Diocese. On the last Sunday in March, the following Episcopal Churches observed a Sunday of Witness Against Human Trafficking: St. Bartholomew’s, Ely; Holy Trinity, Fallon; St. Martin’s, Pahrump; Trinity, Reno; St. Paul’s, Sparks; St. Matthew’s, Las Vegas; and Christ Church, Las Vegas. (Did I leave anyone out?) The Rev’s. Red Sims and Kathy Hopner wrote collects for the occasion.<br /><br />Epiphany, Henderson will host the Interfaith Service to raise awareness of issues of children’s well being, with a special focus on the sexual exploitation of children, on Sunday, May 22, at 5 p.m. Improved legislation would be a good thing. But the main goals we need to accomplish are to make this crime a priority for enforcement and prosecution and even more importantly to build a Safe House for care and rehabilitation for the young victims. To learn more, go to www.notforsalecampaign.org and www.nevadachild.com.<br /><br />Our advocacy efforts on this issue are part of an overall priority of caring for children in Nevada. Our restored relationship with St. Jude’s Ranch For Children, our partnership with Communities in Schools and other one-church-one-school initiatives, the participation of congregations in Family Promise, our partnership with St. Luke’s, Leogane to vaccinate Haitian children against disease are other examples of our efforts to serve and speak out for children here and around the world.

A Strange But Prophetic Day On The Strip

We were an unlikely crew of protesters: a deacon from St. Matthew’s attending her first demonstration; a deacon from Christ Church chiefly k...

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Not So Bad Afterall

This past week I spent 4 days at my sister's house in PA to help her out with the recent birth of my new nephew, Rexon.  For weeks I have been trying hard to have a 'good' week on Weight Watchers.  Each week brings new eating obstacles that make it rather difficult for me to remain on plan.  I was determined to make good choices while I spent these 4 days at my sister's house.  I took some breakfast items with me, as well as some snacks.  I was armed with a few dinner ideas and kept that momentum going.  I figured I probably would not get any exercise in and I was a little panicky about it.  While I didn't feel like I ate well while I was there (I never counted a single point!), I did end up losing weight - 1.4 pounds to be exact.  Not too shabby for a week without exercise while being on the road.. but it was all worth it to spend some time with the new little guy..<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijWXBwKGbYL4GneqD0TCO1W_G8mVXVga8IMqLESjw3zLThXBbVrdwKZVuLyfeycy6RF3Jv5uV91jMCK5mrR6iKaDMAVBwnNa2JwKw3jEKOcqZicVGRf-doC3kiE5PZQ4Ic_EheFCSsAEY/s1600/elegant+WA+aunt+copy.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijWXBwKGbYL4GneqD0TCO1W_G8mVXVga8IMqLESjw3zLThXBbVrdwKZVuLyfeycy6RF3Jv5uV91jMCK5mrR6iKaDMAVBwnNa2JwKw3jEKOcqZicVGRf-doC3kiE5PZQ4Ic_EheFCSsAEY/s320/elegant+WA+aunt+copy.png" width="313" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Courtesy: <a href="http://elegantwordart2.blogspot.com/2008/12/aunt.html">Here.</a></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /><a href="http://www.3fatchicks.net/index11.php"><img border="0" src="http://www.3fatchicks.net/img/tulip-bar/slider-scale/lb/0/95.2/0.39999999999998/.png" /></a>

Not So Bad Afterall

This past week I spent 4 days at my sister's house in PA to help her out with the recent birth of my new nephew, Rexon.  For weeks I hav...

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Checking in

I haven't posted anything since Sunday because my job is consuming me lately. I'm slightly stressed at work. I still love where I work and love my job, but sometimes I get myself in situations with deadlines. There's always a deadline looming up ahead, and I'm always trying to meet it. I have one next week that I'm struggling to meet. I guess that's just life. <br /><br />I'm doing okay, managing to get to the gym every day, although I took today off because I couldn't remember the last time I missed a day at the gym.<br /><br />Sometimes I'm getting in a lunch hour walk with a friend at work that practically race walks, I almost can't keep up with her. I think it would be easier if we just ran. Of course we only walk when it's not raining in the third most miserable city in the nation. At least that's according to this <a href="http://blogs.wsj.com/economics/2011/03/29/where-are-americans-most-miserable/">article </a>in the Wall Street Journal, although they say it has nothing to do with the weather (really?).<br /><br />It's funny because my niece was here a couple weeks ago (from Fairbanks, Alaska) and she couldn't get over the deep green of everything, from he grass to the trees. She kept saying how beautiful it looked. She's right, at least when the sun shines here I think this area must be one of the most beautiful places on the planet. If only the sun would shine a little more.<br /><br />My eating hasn't been perfect, but I'm tracking my food which is big improvement. My food choices have been excellent, but sometimes my portions are too large (four ounces of chicken breast just doesn't do it for me). I've also managed to avoid eating added sugar for the last two weeks, which is huge for me.<br /><br />When my weight got up to 187 a couple weeks ago I had bought some cookies and other sweets which I consumed over a two-day period. I didn't write about it because I was pretty freaked out. I feel like I have that under control again.<br /><br />I also stopped buying and eating the Weight Watcher frozen treats. The only "treat" in my freezer are the sugar-free fudge bars that <a href="http://bbubblyb.blogspot.com/">Dawn </a>convinced me to try, and they're not that bad. However, they're not that good either so there's no chance I'd eat a whole box.<br /><br />Lately my evening snack has been a cup of Greek yogurt with a cup of frozen fruit, and some Stevia. It's more calories than one of the Weight Watcher ice cream bars (about 200 for the yogurt & fruit), but it's the same PointsPlus (3). It's a lot more filling than the bars and sort of like ice cream, and I never go back for seconds (or thirds like I did with the ice cream bars) because it's a lot of food. <br /><br />I tried the Simply Filling a few days this week and then switched back to PointsPlus on Weight Watchers. You're not suppose to switch mid-week, but I still can't trust myself with the "eating until satisfied" idea.<br /><br />This is a pretty boring post, but I just can't think of anything interesting to say. I guess all work and no play makes Diana a very dull girl.<br /><br />Off to work now!

Checking in

I haven't posted anything since Sunday because my job is consuming me lately. I'm slightly stressed at work. I still love where I wo...

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28 weeks

<p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3ULBkhuQFkz9_6OYkv1-oM16q-tR0O12FBf5R5mN1-E1x1quho556cjJl136tnUPwYmCfRo0vDWAD3uGJfiP5fIQEH5rSvfDET9mltF_dOLzYxHSEcmmyvAwm22dMYWkkLH5BuEgs8cDs/s1600-h/28weeks3.28.113.jpg"><img alt="28 weeks - 3.28.11" border="0" height="471" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibJp71HfRChlCisDRdZfx1JG8-f7QdqTV6MwHImu9gUmVDwRKRfnT3QS94-zVwqa0Pej4SUr4YyEacjcxGvN7zotEPSUzhT2PTKst2ZO9kMn3l7Tv0BtUL6UPjFCarVdN8fZQyB7UmNjOz/?imgmax=800" style="border-top-width: 0px; display: block; border-left-width: 0px; float: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; border-right-width: 0px" title="28 weeks - 3.28.11" width="354"></a></p> <p><strong>How Far Along:</strong> 28 Weeks <p><strong>Size of baby:</strong> Baby Bangert is the size of a Chinese cabbage. About 2 1/4 pounds and almost 15 inches, from head to heel. <p><strong>Maternity Clothes:</strong> I wear maternity jeans and pants but the majority of everything else is regular.  Things are getting tighter though! <p><strong>Gender:</strong> It’s a girl!!! We’re still working on names…I sure hope we can get one picked out soon! <p><strong>Movement: </strong>She is a busy little girl, mainly in the evenings when I winding down from the day. I love it though…there is a tiny little life inside me! <p><strong></strong><strong>Sleep:</strong> Eh, it’s been ok! I’m not the best side sleeper and I wake up on my back quite a bit. Plus a few bathroom runs! <p><strong>What I miss:</strong> Sleeping on my stomach, a bigger selection of clothes, and being able to go up & down stairs without getting winded! <p><strong>Cravings:</strong> Pretty sure I don’t got 2-3 days without ice cream! That is pretty normal though! ;) I am quickly finding out the bigger she gets the less I eat…I get full SO fast! <p><strong>Symptoms:</strong> Really can’t complain! Feeling well for the most part, just stiff/achy by the end of the the day. <p><strong>Best Moment this week:</strong> Spending time with my great friend, Sara, and her 2 little girls, Emma & Grace! Aren’t they the sweetest! Grace is the best baby, I’m praying for baby who is laid back like Grace! :)<img alt="" height="267" src="http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/180381_10150089254772918_44598837917_6352898_2486279_n.jpg" style="display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto" width="400"> <p>Emma just turned 2 and is full of energy! We had fun playing & girl chit-chatting the evening away! Emma loved the sleeping bag and headlamp I picked up for her at Target. The headlamp didn’t even have batteries & she still wore it the whole night! ha!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHJq8ezPiSi1cGAnWEphHzCV5DMuEniUF0Ua5sX8ZWvJWVYplPoaYRQSXbQGdZkHsUItowlD-FTgA32n0k6gX0igy-oGGC6gAThMpnS5EQFF4pI2-BLCBy4JSS4jCJ3QT5yDzFut_z08Qw/s1600-h/Emma3.24.113.jpg"><img alt="Emma 3.24.11" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwyW6UxIiNfHiKZMFjDVTqsyalPmEP08XGExYr5gzC-dzxNijl6gKpJdo7v6XDeVp1ImvqgLc7gPoEpFBTAaNS9h35Ak7Ktro7GZ_PWIarh0JUTYLAzh5s6JWhzO3np-5KlucYCtrVt7i1/?imgmax=800" style="border-top-width: 0px; display: block; border-left-width: 0px; float: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; border-right-width: 0px" title="Emma 3.24.11" width="404"></a></p>

28 weeks

How Far Along: 28 Weeks Size of baby: Baby Bangert is the size of a Chinese cabbage. About 2 1/4 pounds and almost 15 inches, from head ...

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STRANGERS ON A TRAIN...his best-remembered film

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi__ZQJP7jE1lUycG5ZJeOTP7FY_TU1yXHVHYU91aPKCUQstTqtLCOyKA_CQB6rZQI8sWbvXrZ2ishi9dkVT5qnuDci3R4orePwteZ8T0KaI6REl6ur-FLaPoLSH405-3q1AsL8r0RcN_H8/s1600/strangers-on-a-train%255B1%255D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi__ZQJP7jE1lUycG5ZJeOTP7FY_TU1yXHVHYU91aPKCUQstTqtLCOyKA_CQB6rZQI8sWbvXrZ2ishi9dkVT5qnuDci3R4orePwteZ8T0KaI6REl6ur-FLaPoLSH405-3q1AsL8r0RcN_H8/s400/strangers-on-a-train%255B1%255D.jpg" width="278" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: left;"> <span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i>Actor Farley Granger died in New York on Sunday at age 85. He'd begun his career in Hollywood under contract to Samuel Goldwyn and made his first film, </i>The North Star<i>, in 1943. Five years later he worked for the first time with Alfred Hitchcock on one of the director's most interesting exercises, </i>Rope<i> (1948), co-starring James Stewart and John Dall. In 1951 he again worked with Hitchcock and it is for this film, </i>Strangers on a Train<i>, that Granger is best remembered. The actor later left Hollywood to work on the New York stage; in 1986 he won an Obie Award for his performance in "Talley & Son." Though Farley Granger is not the specific focus, I'm posting this previously published reflection on </i>Strangers on a Train<i> in tribute to of his life and career.</i></span><br /><a name='more'></a></div><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">It was the middle of the 20th Century and Alfred Hitchcock's last major film had been <i>Notorious</i> (1946). Four years and four films later, he seemed to be drifting. Though <i>The Paradine Case,</i><i> Rope, Under Capricorn</i> and <i>Stage Fright</i> were all interesting attempts, only underrated <i>Stage Fright </i>was successful, but it was not major box office.</span><br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxYm6ph3a7nPtZ68iTIE-Ycq6bkDzz8QJ0Pz77HlNKRKYq1K5D-5xoWwHTze8cricRx6rYdGdupyzQwj3sfdTeHauaCA4TSo4LETaO_vXe2zjGIUz77sDfoYtbUQ0lTUEBVRKBJhJvTg9s/s1600/strangers-on-a-train-1%255B1%255D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxYm6ph3a7nPtZ68iTIE-Ycq6bkDzz8QJ0Pz77HlNKRKYq1K5D-5xoWwHTze8cricRx6rYdGdupyzQwj3sfdTeHauaCA4TSo4LETaO_vXe2zjGIUz77sDfoYtbUQ0lTUEBVRKBJhJvTg9s/s320/strangers-on-a-train-1%255B1%255D.jpg" width="254" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hitchcock and Granger on the set</td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">For his next project, Hitchcock looked to the first novel of young Patricia Highsmith. Intrigued by its clever "criss-cross" murder plot, he bought the rights to <i>Strangers on a Train</i>.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Raymond Chandler was tapped to tackle the screenplay, though Czenzi Ormonde, a protege of Ben Hecht, rewrote most of it. Cinematographer Robert Burks collaborated with Hitchcock for the first time and earned an Oscar nomination for his efforts. He was nominated again for <i>Rear Window</i> and won for <i>To Catch a Thief</i>. Dimiti Tiomkin, who had last worked with the director on <i>Shadow of a Doubt</i>, composed the dramatic score. Hitchcock produced and directed for Warner Brothers.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i>Strangers on a Train</i> (1951) is considered one of Hitchcock's most accessible films; its overwhelming success revived the director's reputation at a crucial point. It also signaled the beginning of his final great filmmaking period.</span><br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirB3KnGKnTDf7WX0Q6xYtXpuxqiufgoNMw6kfxicQBqsehlxxlvDozQcigXyNAA-O02GnF1ceVnbb1k6GUsfxesI7MBZUndUEjngXohNaggKkrDyJwAMsBDsmugwWuyhFTt___OSaiT89d/s1600/strangers_2%255B1%255D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="236" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirB3KnGKnTDf7WX0Q6xYtXpuxqiufgoNMw6kfxicQBqsehlxxlvDozQcigXyNAA-O02GnF1ceVnbb1k6GUsfxesI7MBZUndUEjngXohNaggKkrDyJwAMsBDsmugwWuyhFTt___OSaiT89d/s320/strangers_2%255B1%255D.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"meet cute" moment</td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">A virtual case study of Hitchcock's technique, <i>Strangers on a Train</i>  bears all the hallmarks of his style. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">There are spectacular set pieces, among them - an intense tennis match cross-cut with scenes of a killer's harrowing journey to plant evidence and a carousel sequence that sweeps to a terrifying climax. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Prominent historical sites appear; Washington, D.C., landmarks are woven into the scenario, with the Jefferson Memorial in a stark cameo. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">There is an "innocent man accused" and a powerful <i>doppelganger</i> motif.</span><br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0NWf4hIaq4gsGZ3RlieoFOmMWsoeQOWHiAYUp68OQ7Vn1EqbZ0LAv5YWt0L6Sqt75_UTNTi6-PHAc2E5gRQzP_-WmWLo9L2_pFn37HyrYocpBN-7cum9zoGEgFJbPJNfDR5dT_-GTWf9n/s1600/Farley02%255B1%255D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="233" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0NWf4hIaq4gsGZ3RlieoFOmMWsoeQOWHiAYUp68OQ7Vn1EqbZ0LAv5YWt0L6Sqt75_UTNTi6-PHAc2E5gRQzP_-WmWLo9L2_pFn37HyrYocpBN-7cum9zoGEgFJbPJNfDR5dT_-GTWf9n/s320/Farley02%255B1%255D.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Farley Granger and Laura Elliott/Kasey Rogers</td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Though there are no marquee names, the cast is solid: Farley Granger as handsome, nearly guileless and beleaguered tennis star Guy Haines and Laura Elliott (Kasey Rogers) as his trampy estranged wife, Miriam. Marion Lorne stands out as the discombobulated mother of a killer, Leo G. Carroll appears as a U.S. Senator and Patricia Hitchcock has one of her best roles as his quirky younger daughter.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Alfred Hitchcock once told Francoise Truffaut, "...the more successful the villain, the more successful the picture. That's a cardinal rule..."</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">The bold, unforgettable performance of Robert Walker as unhinged Bruno Anthony is proof of that rule. Remarkably, Walker had mostly been cast as boy-next-door types up till then. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Like Joseph Cotten's Uncle Charley in <i>Shadow of a Doubt</i>, Walker's Bruno is a glib, self-possessed charmer who is also a remorseless killer. Walker is riveting onscreen. His Bruno is confident, slick, erratic...and very unsettling. His smooth veneer barely masks a simmering rage. With a voice that slides from sensual as velvet to cold and hollow as tin, his eyes glitter, glare, caress.</span><br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTKSAB-P7nXEKjhPQDcY2cCDA71Y3ennuhyphenhyphenFMpPgN5lyWS8vKpPJwla0Oav921oSFIrcRYqjjVfo34LZgayCw4pLNu09LAX2qfEYmckKaHYJ-OrJKTG53pSzrY650086PSdFE0_D8N6KSq/s1600/Strangers_on_a_Train_-_Bruno_in_line%255B1%255D.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTKSAB-P7nXEKjhPQDcY2cCDA71Y3ennuhyphenhyphenFMpPgN5lyWS8vKpPJwla0Oav921oSFIrcRYqjjVfo34LZgayCw4pLNu09LAX2qfEYmckKaHYJ-OrJKTG53pSzrY650086PSdFE0_D8N6KSq/s320/Strangers_on_a_Train_-_Bruno_in_line%255B1%255D.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Robert Walker</td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">From the moment Bruno is first seen in the club car insinuating himself into Guy's life, to his final seconds of life, when he mercilessly implicates Guy with his dying breath, Walker dominates and energizes the film. Pat Hitchcock once observed that for all her father's genius, it was Walker's daring performance that 'made' the picture.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Walker died tragically at age 32 less than two months after the film was released. He had appeared in more than 30 films in his career, but it was <i>Strangers on a Train</i> that allowed him to reveal the devastating range of his talent.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Farley Granger later reflected, "he was great in the film; his potential was limitless, his career was just beginning to take wing."</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Robert Walker's life had been short and often troubled, but it later became clear that he had a bit of good fortune after all; his greatest role, a virtuoso performance, was preserved in one of Alfred Hitchcock's finest and most popular films.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">British film critic and historian David Thomson noted in a 1999 Hitchcock centenniel article on <i><b>Strangers</b> </i>that Walker's was "...a landmark performance. You see it now and you feel the vibrancy of the modernity...he had had that one chance..."</span><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAEDen5jSY5MesjOq3FemA90DQQNDAaxje8cm9W9UpANQYoeC9Y1z0VRBiVBHmh3Hs82Unj-_-1Cf2qdFqEFezvrtR6odr4ik5SvugDSC6xcIDBuqJMqzXFewk1-J9EsVPThMIXDavRTU/s1600/Strangers_color.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAEDen5jSY5MesjOq3FemA90DQQNDAaxje8cm9W9UpANQYoeC9Y1z0VRBiVBHmh3Hs82Unj-_-1Cf2qdFqEFezvrtR6odr4ik5SvugDSC6xcIDBuqJMqzXFewk1-J9EsVPThMIXDavRTU/s400/Strangers_color.jpg" width="262" /></a></div>

Alfred Hitchcock Dimitri Tiomkin Farley Granger Marion Lorne Patricia Highsmith Patricia Hitchcock Robert Burks Robert Walker Strangers on a Train The Lady Eve (author) STRANGERS ON A TRAIN...his best-remembered film

 Actor Farley Granger died in New York on Sunday at age 85. He'd begun his career in Hollywood under contract to Samuel Goldwyn and mad...

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It's hard to lose weight but it's even harder to be fat

<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">As I struggle to get control of my eating and get my weight back down, I constantly wonder why this has to be so incredibly difficult. I know I'm not alone in these feelings. Almost everyone with a weight problem can relate. It's hard to constantly deprive myself of things I want to eat. For whatever reason, food makes me happy. It's just that simple.</div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Three years ago I was 240 pounds. I honestly don't know how I was walking around. I don't know how I held a job or how I managed to start going to the gym. Carrying around an extra hundred pounds on my body made life very hard. </div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Two summers ago I was 152, last summer I was around 166. Right now I'm at 182.2. Down 5.2 pounds from my last weigh-in on Wednesday. I'm still 30 pounds up from my lowest weight in the last three years. I've beaten myself up about this over and over. </div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">The biggest thing I've noticed about this recent weight gain is how uncomfortable I feel in my own skin. More than anything, I'm embarrassed about the weight gain. How could I let this happen to me? Don't I even like myself? The answers to those two questions are sad. I let this happen to me because I don't care enough about myself to want to take care of myself. Like myself? Silly girl, of course not.</div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Added to the embarrassment is the discomfort. My clothes don't fit. Everything is tight. Every morning looking for something to wear is a challenge. </div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Added to the embarrassment and discomfort is the constant nagging fear that I'm going to end up where I started. Every morning I wake up and my first thoughts are "what did I eat last night?".  If the answer is "nothing bad" then I'm happy. If the answer is "oh darn, I ate that entire box of Weight Watcher Truffle bars" then I'm miserable (that was my thought this morning). </div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">My workouts the last two weeks have been hard. The more weight I gain, the harder it is to exercise. My body doesn't want to work hard, it just wants to lie down and sleep. Every day I push myself to exercise, but with the added weight on my body, I can really feel the difference. It hurts so much more to exercise at this heavier weight.</div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> <br />The bottom line is that it's really harder to be fat than it is to lose weight. Fat hinders my entire life. Being uncomfortable 100% of the time and hating myself because I'm fat is really no way to live.</div>

It's hard to lose weight but it's even harder to be fat

As I struggle to get control of my eating and get my weight back down, I constantly wonder why this has to be so incredibly difficult. I kno...

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I didn't know I was so fat but pictures don't lie

<div style="text-align: center;">Before Pictures (from the Big Climb March 20, 2011)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf0EDLGS0MGLI6fECK_nwWYTK-313a55PGjvibeoukXnbdqW2vdD4Z4fzv43NuQNLx3pj536shjLax5YXRYUkC5iow6FCIxlOKh4T0pS_afDZSV8zNvxFYZ5jinOuW9GfcPaNFEeJDnrf3/s1600/P1020652.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf0EDLGS0MGLI6fECK_nwWYTK-313a55PGjvibeoukXnbdqW2vdD4Z4fzv43NuQNLx3pj536shjLax5YXRYUkC5iow6FCIxlOKh4T0pS_afDZSV8zNvxFYZ5jinOuW9GfcPaNFEeJDnrf3/s400/P1020652.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />Rear view (ugh!)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9oCO7GBnA5tH42elvGuhc-kbyapUm_UoZ1q5uSiNH2kfnF3uw1pX7xBUDXP1IfOIJfcqObFcLehN5Cmxf9_N7sDUgkjLOWPHUU0l6nggGXnz0F2GiZvoujmXN0gZTq-32XQRcUL5oGuqv/s1600/P1020653.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9oCO7GBnA5tH42elvGuhc-kbyapUm_UoZ1q5uSiNH2kfnF3uw1pX7xBUDXP1IfOIJfcqObFcLehN5Cmxf9_N7sDUgkjLOWPHUU0l6nggGXnz0F2GiZvoujmXN0gZTq-32XQRcUL5oGuqv/s320/P1020653.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">It's weird how I often don't see my body as it really looks. When I weighed 152 two summers ago, and 166 last summer, I thought I was a fat pig. That's the picture on the lower right, me in the black size 10 skirt and pink top. 152 pounds and I thought I was fat. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Now that I'm fat again I don't see it when I look in the mirror. Even though the size ten's hanging in my closet don't even begin to fit, I still think of myself as the same person that weighed 152. It's like my head hasn't caught to the fact that I'm fat again. It's the opposite of what an anorexia thinks. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">The pictures really hit me hard. Really? I'm really THAT fat?! Yes, Diana, you are really that fat. How fat am I? Read below.<br /><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><b>My second weekly Weight Watchers meeting</b><br />Today was my first Weight Watchers At Work meeting. There were 28 employees at the meeting, each with their $130.20 check in hand for a 17-week series of meetings and e-Tools.<br /><br />My company is picking up the additional 30% that Weight Watchers would normally charge. I work for an awesome company! Of course, it's in their best interest that we all get to a healthy weight to keep our insurance costs down, as well as take fewer sick days. Smart move on their part, and I get to benefit from it.<br /><br />I'm very excited about this meeting. I'm not new to Weight Watchers. I've been going to meetings for three years non-stop. It annoys me that I haven't reached goal yet, but I also know that without the meetings I'd definitely be back up to my high weight of 240 pounds, plus a few extra for good measure. Going to two meetings a week is sort of like AA, where the alcoholic goes every day if possible. Like an alcoholic, I have a serious problem.<br /><br />I weighed in at home this morning and was appalled I saw184 pounds. I decided to eat breakfast, have my cup of coffee and drink water all morning like normal. I'm not going to starve myself or go without water because I have a noon weighin.<br /><br />The official weighin (are you sitting down because this is rather shocking):<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="color: red; font-size: large;">187.4 </span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Now I could make all sorts of excuses, I was wearing "heavy" clothes or I'd had food and water during the morning, or there was something wrong with the scales the leader brought to the meeting. That can't be my real weight! Seriously folks, it's my real weight. As real as it gets. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">My plan isn't to dwell on how horrible this is or how mad I am at myself for letting this happen. My plan is to get down to business and lose the weight!</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I have my regular Weight Watcher meeting on Saturday, which I pay for online so I'll have two official weighins a week. I know that sounds kind of crazy, but I'm kind of crazy. My eating has become totally out of control with no accountability. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Now that I know how fat I am, I need to fix it.</div>

I didn't know I was so fat but pictures don't lie

Before Pictures (from the Big Climb March 20, 2011) Rear view (ugh!) It's weird how I often don't see my body as it really looks. Wh...

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27 weeks

<p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7w7ih_8x51pG0K6FN2wUoPHSRaRMk47vv5vCq3xCMBJzT3hF8nsokoeYzHShrfXvMPNG9h0amMg1EkVr3PqBaMMg-oaWxdqwvL3HCkCn0pd7WaTSdin-NeEuy5yDfk8xseaHL3-CYH-e0/s1600-h/27%20weeks%20-%203.23.11%5B1%5D.jpg"><img alt="27 weeks - 3.23.11" border="0" height="473" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFoT6F0W_PkAf6btCoxt1IKYNzXYJpFji8e7Xmwrk-T_TrrG14bZSlfZ5KR8HFrnfwEAJNVsOtTQOGSdsTjBFEp9URrydHtTNRaQfUzIz2FkvaGT9xlpEdopAEMiWyOCBioFhRWKaSnIwg/?imgmax=800" style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-bottom: 0px" title="27 weeks - 3.23.11" width="354"></a></p> <p><strong>How Far Along:</strong> 27 Weeks <p><strong>Size of baby:</strong> Baby Bangert is the size of an eggplant! <p><strong>Maternity Clothes:</strong> I wear maternity jeans and pants but everything else is regular.  Things are getting tighter though! <p><strong>Gender:</strong> It’s a girl!!! <p><strong>Movement: </strong>My Doctor told me I should feel her at least 10 times before 1pm…I don’t think that is a problem!! BIG NEWS: Kyle finally got to feel her kick on Saturday!! It was such a sweet moment, we were watching a movie and after he felt her kick he left his hand there the rest of the movie just waiting to feel her again! <p><strong></strong><strong>Sleep:</strong> Not too bad, I get up a few times throughout the night to go to the bathroom. I guess it’s preparing me for a newborn! <p><strong>What I miss:</strong> Sleeping on my stomach, a bigger selection of clothes, and being able to go up & down stairs without getting winded! <p><strong>Cravings:</strong> I don't have specific cravings. I just like to eat! ;) I don’t think ice cream counts, I love that anytime! <p><strong>Symptoms:</strong> Really can’t complain! Feeling well for the most part, just stiff/achy by the end of the the day. <p><strong>Best Moment this week:</strong> Kyle feeling her kick and making progress on the nursery! <p>I had my glucose test yesterday and they said no news is good news. So my fingers are crossed, I haven’t heard from the Dr. yet, so I’m hoping that’s a good sign! <p>In case you missed it click <a href="http://weightloss-stories.blogspot.com/2011/03/nursery-progress.html">here</a> to check out the progress in the nursery!</p>

27 weeks

How Far Along: 27 Weeks Size of baby: Baby Bangert is the size of an eggplant! Maternity Clothes: I wear maternity jeans and pants but...

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Hitchcock's Silent Version of Blackmail on the Big Screen

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPQ6LnwQDZt-B7cOe40ByA8JZrn5yoWYJL46OtzC5Yas0By6_YF961sikfoaFpscJtWA48kAhgJR31X5VBik0wr-NznD2ZGoMWye54HsuoZnHmzLCflwAfwgwVLVmKwvdpUqPMKwM9FXGx/s1600/blackmail1929%255B1%255D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPQ6LnwQDZt-B7cOe40ByA8JZrn5yoWYJL46OtzC5Yas0By6_YF961sikfoaFpscJtWA48kAhgJR31X5VBik0wr-NznD2ZGoMWye54HsuoZnHmzLCflwAfwgwVLVmKwvdpUqPMKwM9FXGx/s320/blackmail1929%255B1%255D.jpg" width="228" /></a></div><div style="line-height: 14pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly;"><br /></div><div style="line-height: 14pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The era of talking pictures arrived while Alfred Hitchcock was working on his crime thriller, <b>Blackmail</b>, in 1929. The film had already been shot as a silent feature but during post-production the studio asked the director to convert it to partial sound so it could be marketed as a talking picture. Hitchcock, as was his way, had his own ideas. He began to tinker; scenes were reshot with dialogue, additional scenes with dialogue were added. In the end, Hitchcock had two films - his and Britain's much touted "first full length all talkie film" - and the original silent version. In 1929, most theaters in Britain were not equipped for sound, so it was the silent <b>Blackmail</b> that was for a long time the most widely seen and popular of the two films.</span><br /><a name='more'></a></div><div style="line-height: 14pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One night last summer, the California Film Institute presented a special screening of a 35 mm British Film Institute archive print of the silent version of <b>Blackmail </b>at a theater near me. Accompanying the film with an original score was the Alloy Orchestra, one of the world's foremost silent film orchestras. In attendance was an enthusiastic sold-out crowd.</span></div><div style="line-height: 14pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly;"><br /></div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji90T2Wa96183YGsps0shGdKwRIvtfELs0_pl1K1k1U9wyYbss0Lg1BhxrpPyXTZlwVYj5g1tgGaZsdm_8Mlnl8ozJ2n1OynSkxdAfVXKVQ10Dd8lsI4NCnmeztBtPmViYBQlAbFlMzIN2/s1600/blackmail+hitch+and+anny+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="140" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji90T2Wa96183YGsps0shGdKwRIvtfELs0_pl1K1k1U9wyYbss0Lg1BhxrpPyXTZlwVYj5g1tgGaZsdm_8Mlnl8ozJ2n1OynSkxdAfVXKVQ10Dd8lsI4NCnmeztBtPmViYBQlAbFlMzIN2/s200/blackmail+hitch+and+anny+2.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Alfred Hitchcock and Anny Ondra</td></tr></tbody></table><div style="line-height: 14pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Blackmail</b> was Hitchcock's second film of the thriller genre; the first was<b>The Lodger</b> (1927), the picture that first brought him widespread acclaim. <b>Blackmail, </b>a film that critic and Hitchcock author/scholar David Sterritt declared "has a strong claim to being his first masterpiece," foreshadows Hitchcock's later work in many ways. Visually sophisticated and gimlet-eyed in its observation of human nature and motives, it includes a delicately lovely woman in grave danger (who spends much of the film as if in a daze) and a grisly murder; the climactic chase scene at a landmark, the British Museum, is the first of such Hitchcock signature set-pieces...and there is no shortage of moral ambiguity.</span></div><div style="line-height: 14pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly;"><br /></div><div style="line-height: 14pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The story, which Hitchcock conceived as a conflict between love and duty, centers on a middle-class young Londoner, Alice White. Alice lives with her parents, helps out at their tobacconist's shop and is dating a straight-arrow Scotland Yard detective. After the pair has a spat over dinner, she recklessly goes off with an artist/Casanova and ends up involved in a killing (see clip below); as a result her beau is drawn into the investigation - and a blackmail plot. </span></div><div style="line-height: 14pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly;"><br /></div><div style="line-height: 14pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Blackmail </b>stars Anny Ondra as Alice, John Longden as her detective boyfriend, Cyril Ritchard as the artist and Donald Calthrop as Tracy, the not-so-innocent innocent man. The plot is well constructed, the action is tight and Hitchcock's mastery of suspense is evident throughout.</span></div><div style="line-height: 14pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly;"><br /></div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO3wUTDAW_a5RHzNTNFZBHTzlBAKZ29zCwS-p8YerN7kMCnK5bDeSOcQHUMzmPg8g4voKCGB4anjN3y_eHKsnWDytNE161qufHDZ3NkvnEUwD-ngWXUxpnQ9yo3MtopHz63VL3oFeDP3ou/s1600/blackmail+ending+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="171" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO3wUTDAW_a5RHzNTNFZBHTzlBAKZ29zCwS-p8YerN7kMCnK5bDeSOcQHUMzmPg8g4voKCGB4anjN3y_eHKsnWDytNE161qufHDZ3NkvnEUwD-ngWXUxpnQ9yo3MtopHz63VL3oFeDP3ou/s200/blackmail+ending+2.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>finis</i></td></tr></tbody></table><div style="line-height: 14pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Though clever and fast-paced, <b>Blackmail</b> is a film of some depth and darkness. Ultimately, the integrity of both central characters is permanently compromised. Though a messy situation is conveniently resolved, the truth comes out between the girl and her man and the film's ending implies an uncertain and possibly bleak future for the two who now share a terrible knowledge and guilt.</span></div><div style="line-height: 14pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly;"><br /></div><div style="line-height: 14pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The Alloy Orchestra artfully accented this screening of <b>Blackmail</b>, adding dimension and a sense of immediacy to the experience. However...the group is not exactly an "orchestra" but three musicians whose instruments include keyboards, accordion, clarinet, musical saw and a famous "rack of junk." A combination of percussion and electronics allows them to create an array of sounds and effects. The Alloy Orchestra has performed worldwide - for major film festivals, AMPAS and even at the Louvre.</span></div><div style="line-height: 14pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly;"><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyvuXy4a88PNXUFqR3C0NtePaPt0I3jBY2BxQ6FCEzYyLVC06HcUwEOnkB8gjSih58CPC8OXSkekj0ifxe1HKQ5GvWecEh3q8YxW-rs5IqU2AY0rSZC1QogFt8PcFSq4NrC0KHMi7V_Ljm/s1600/AlloyOrchestra1%255B1%255D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="116" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyvuXy4a88PNXUFqR3C0NtePaPt0I3jBY2BxQ6FCEzYyLVC06HcUwEOnkB8gjSih58CPC8OXSkekj0ifxe1HKQ5GvWecEh3q8YxW-rs5IqU2AY0rSZC1QogFt8PcFSq4NrC0KHMi7V_Ljm/s200/AlloyOrchestra1%255B1%255D.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Alloy Orchestra</td></tr></tbody></table><div style="line-height: 14pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly;"><i><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Postscript:</span></i></div><div style="line-height: 14pt; mso-line-height-rule: exactly;"><i><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I had not seen the sound version of <b>Blackmail</b> when I viewed the silent, but have since. I was a little surprised to discover that I much preferred the silent version. There are, perhaps, some technical reasons for this (rudimentary sound, the awkwardness of English actress Joan Barry voicing Czech-born star Anny Ondra's lines as Ondra performed). What struck me, though, was that the plot was rendered less ambiguous by the addition of spoken dialogue that was more explicit than the intertitles had been. </span></i></div><br /><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/E3sOL_30nbw" title="YouTube video player" width="480"></iframe><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>

Alfred Hitchcock Anny Ondra Blackmail Cyril Ritchard Donald Calthrop Joan Barry John Longden The Lady Eve (author) Hitchcock's Silent Version of Blackmail on the Big Screen

The era of talking pictures arrived while Alfred Hitchcock was working on his crime thriller, Blackmail , in 1929. The film had already been...

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Thanks, Dawn, for the Stylish Blogger Award

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-fErtgIjVRjQEy8cPO-H6rdybAQgFnw8h2TFu8YeI7IlDxQ5L5YFeDdKOW2zUU-WYI1IjZXEQQjOAAuDQeYdj03bMIZz63eSHzpYWkVPcdWLYP3d1NL_Nw5t5yUOY5aj36UVmk2V7HPcw/s1600/stylish%252Bblogger%252Baward%252B1%255B1%255D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-fErtgIjVRjQEy8cPO-H6rdybAQgFnw8h2TFu8YeI7IlDxQ5L5YFeDdKOW2zUU-WYI1IjZXEQQjOAAuDQeYdj03bMIZz63eSHzpYWkVPcdWLYP3d1NL_Nw5t5yUOY5aj36UVmk2V7HPcw/s1600/stylish%252Bblogger%252Baward%252B1%255B1%255D.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dawn at “Noir & Chick Flicks” has kindly honored Eve’s Reel Life with a “Stylish Blogger Award.” Many thanks to Dawn, a real fan of Golden Age classics!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">  </span>Here’s her URL – http://dawnschickflicks.blogspot.com/</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Those honored with the “Stylish Blogger Award” must reveal seven facts about themselves… here are seven things about me that may or may not be interesting:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in;"><br /></div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmxtcYHRNvbC6a-7dZVuoNnHykUw79A9XtN_I2uScEY9E4zeikI3olA92D7rYtZFpF0mNE1Gh1NYv77tMZXkCA3qZchwWggz3YZDsdC3SQ-Ys2Zk-kGXNKQjq64VWUOw-pkqqPkk5aYJDL/s1600/bette.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="167" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmxtcYHRNvbC6a-7dZVuoNnHykUw79A9XtN_I2uScEY9E4zeikI3olA92D7rYtZFpF0mNE1Gh1NYv77tMZXkCA3qZchwWggz3YZDsdC3SQ-Ys2Zk-kGXNKQjq64VWUOw-pkqqPkk5aYJDL/s200/bette.jpg" width="200" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Bette in <em>Now, Voyager</em></span></span></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">   </span></span></span>I’ve loved Golden Age classics since childhood. I believe I inherited this addiction from my mother – along with “Bette Davis love”…her favorite of BD: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Now, Voyager</i></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">  </span></span></span>TCM is the default channel at my place, though I’m delving into Comcast’s On Demand Premium Channels/Preferred Selections (thanks to Rick of the Classic/Cafe)</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">  </span></span></span>I own very few DVDs…I used to own lots of video tapes and then realized that technology will only change again and again…now I watch movies any and every way I can</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">  </span></span></span>I work in TV and have worked in the entertainment biz most of my life</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">  </span></span></span>Because of my line of work I’ve met or come into contact with a few of the famous…the most memorable was Loretta Young</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">  </span></span></span>My love of film extends from silent era to present day classics, including foreign cinema</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span></div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx_n2ICPRp8142Km68tSPw1FXSIrhe6QoTgCK-RLPjZKx_YT_I1RG50t9aJ-UFBBVhicK3j_P50MoZlfJ-LtOB1o-aEcdTEcvld2t38_wnwFVXmbvdwK7e0skTCcDvmbWXq0hDiakxLmVx/s1600/mmwomen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="147" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx_n2ICPRp8142Km68tSPw1FXSIrhe6QoTgCK-RLPjZKx_YT_I1RG50t9aJ-UFBBVhicK3j_P50MoZlfJ-LtOB1o-aEcdTEcvld2t38_wnwFVXmbvdwK7e0skTCcDvmbWXq0hDiakxLmVx/s200/mmwomen.jpg" width="200" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">"Mad Men"</span></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">  </span></span></span>I am a “Mad Men” fanatic and just found out today that there may be no 2011 season and no new episodes till 2012…NOOOO!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Those chosen as “Stylish Bloggers” are asked to name seven more stylish bloggers – here are my picks:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Distant Voices & Flickering Shadows - http://distant-voicesandflickering-shadows.blogspot.com/</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bit Part Actors - http://bitactors.blogspot.com/</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Twenty Four Frames - http://twentyfourframes.wordpress.com/</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Kevin’s Movie Corner - http://kevinsmoviecorner.blogspot.com/</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bette’s Classic Movie Blog - http://bettesmovieblog.blogspot.com/</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Amateur Film Studies - http://amateurfilmstudies.blogspot.com/</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Tales of the Easily Distracted - http://doriantb.blogspot.com/</span></div>

Bette Davis Mad Men Noir and Chick Flicks Now Voyager Thanks, Dawn, for the Stylish Blogger Award

Dawn at “Noir & Chick Flicks” has kindly honored Eve’s Reel Life with a “Stylish Blogger Award.” Many thanks to Dawn, a real fan of Gold...

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The Seven Last Words

It is a 500-year-old tradition of the Church to reflect in Holy Week on the Seven Last Words of Jesus, the poignantly short utterances of Our Lord from the Cross. They were short utterances because they had to be gasped by a man dying of asphyxiation. It is difficult to consider these verses together because each of the four Gospel accounts of the Passion has its own special perspective. None of the accounts includes all seven utterances, so to pulling them together risks a certain blurring and incoherence. Still, considering the statements together is a spiritually important exercise since all of them are part of our tradition. My friend, Jocelyn, in the Episcopal Diocese of Santiago has asked me to write a brief reflection on the Seven Last Words, so this is my attempt.<br /><br />1. Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.<br /><br />This statement of forgiveness is found in Luke. In this Gospel, Jesus is a healer and a reconciler. In him, God becomes the archetypal victim of all human cruelty and sin for a special reason. Sin is committed against victims and only the victim has the moral right to forgive the wrong. God sitting serenely in heaven cannot morally forgive sins which God has not suffered. But without forgiveness, there is no way forward into new life. Without forgiveness, sinner and victim alike are ensnared forever, the sinner in guilt, the victim in grievance. In Jesus, God became the victim so that he could forgive. Injury gives rise to a claim, a right, to vengeance. But acts of vengeance are a new violence creating new victims and so the cycle of retribution continues. It can end only when a victim says “It stops here. I will forgive rather than perpetuate this.” Anwar Sadat going to Jerusalem after the death of his brother is a modern example. Antigone is an ancient one. Jesus is the archetype. God in Jesus took the wound of sin upon himself so he could forgive all sin and set us free from our guilt and our grievance alike, both prisons of the soul. But we can claim our freedom, live into our freedom, only when we follow the example of our way shower, our Savior and Liberator, Jesus who in his agony showed mercy to the merciless.<br /><br />2. Truly, I say to you, this day you will be with me in Paradise.<br /><br />These words are also in Luke, the Gospel of healing and reconciliation. The dying thief acknowledged his guilt and, offering no excuse or defense, asked for a small mercy. “Remember me when you come into your kingdom.” Simply to be remembered by a just person was all the immortality he hoped for. What has that to do with us? To live a human life is to incur guilt. To be human is to be fallible at every level, physical, moral, and spiritual. Moreover, to live a human life is to live in a network of relationships that constitute personal, moral obligation. Those obligations often conflict, so that to do what is right by one person is to hurt another. The moral philosopher Martha Nusbaum called such situations “tragic choices” in her book, The Fragility of Goodness. No one lives this life without guilt. It is hard to acknowledge our own sin. Our egos compel us to justify ourselves. But our desperate efforts to preserve our self-image as good people are at odds with what we know to be true. It is an agony to admit to ourselves and to others that we are guilty. The dying thief admitted his guilt. That is all he did. He had no opportunity to turn from his evil path and live a pure life. He had no chance to “go and sin no more.” He had no opportunity to earn his salvation with good works or piety. “Could my zeal no languor know, could my tears forever flow, these for sin would not atone. Thou must save and thou alone.” The dying thief simply asked for a crumb of mercy and Jesus promised him paradise. Salvation cannot be earned by fallible people such as ourselves. Salvation depends on grace alone, the infinite mercy of God revealed in Jesus. Many great spiritual teachers have said wise and helpful things that have helped me in my life challenges. But as the years have passed, as the weight of guilt has inevitably grown heavier and my efforts to justify myself have proven increasingly futile, I find nothing sufficient but this promise of Jesus to redeem me – not for the sake of any good thing I might ever do, but simply for the sake of his mercy.<br /><br />3. Woman behold your son; behold your mother.<br /><br />John’s Gospel alone relates that Mary and John stood at the foot of the cross. His mother and his best friend were there for him. They were drawn to this place of pain by their devotion to him. It is unlikely that they would have been close to each other before Good Friday. But Jesus redirected their mutual grief into a relationship. Tradition tells us that they remained close for the rest of their lives, that Mary spent her final years in Ephesus where John led the Church and wrote this Gospel. I have visited the house outside of Ephesus (Kusadasi) where tradition says that Mary lived. Who knows if that is historically true, but thousands of Christians, including Pope John Paul II, have visited that small shrine to remember the lasting bond John and Mary formed at Calvary and honored to the end. Whether it is vestiges of Mary’s presence or vestiges of the pilgrims’ presence, that spot is palpably sanctified by reflection on the tenderness of wounded healers, the bereaved living on with and for each other. But what does this say to us? Many Christians are devoted to Jesus. Their spirituality is a heart-felt longing for him. But in this moment Jesus actually redirected the attention of John and Mary away from himself and toward each other. Life is laced with grief and escape into otherworldly spirituality is a denial of life, a refusal to live the life we have been given because sometimes it hurts. Jesus did not invite Mary and John to escape. He did not say, “Don’t worry. This is really ok.” It was not ok. But he gave meaning to their grief by teaching them to console each other, to support and sustain each other. The spirituality Jesus taught from the cross was one of compassion, commitment, and personal engagement with each other. If we have grief, the way through it is to turn our grief into compassion for one another.<br /><br />4. My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?<br /><br />Mark and Matthew give the darkest versions of the Passion. For them, the Cross is a disaster. Redemption comes with the Resurrection, but the Cross itself is a horror. In their dark account, Jesus does not speak with confidence of being that day in Paradise. He feels abandoned and betrayed even by God. He cries out his complaint, but he does not curse God or abandon God, even though he believes he himself has been abandoned. This is the most profound expression in Scripture of obdurate, invincible love of God for God’s own sake. In Job there is a verse which is sometimes translated (perhaps not an accurate translation of the Hebrew but a spiritually profound one nonetheless) “Even though he slay me, I will trust in him.” Most of us love God for our blessings. We love God for what God has done for us or for what we hope God will do for us. In truth, this is loving ourselves and using God as a means to the higher end of our own well-being. But to love God without hope of our own gain would be another matter altogether. It would be to lose ourselves in the sublime light of a value supremely higher than ourselves. And that would be the ultimate liberation – the liberation from compulsive self-absorption. I am not capable of that kind of love for God, but I can aspire to it because Jesus revealed it. There is a second point in this utterance. Jesus was up against the experience of meaningless suffering. After the Resurrection, we see Jesus’ ordeal as the most meaningful suffering in history. But at the moment when Jesus felt forsaken, his suffering seemed altogether futile. Religious people are all to quick to tell the afflictedis that their suffering is actually ok because God doing something good in it. But suffering is often just suffering. Evil really is evil, not part of God’s plan. Jesus did not hang from the cross expounding platitudes about providence. He experienced disaster as disaster. It is only after we face that kind of despair head on as he did that we are able to rise from it as he did. The Cross alone is a catastrophe. God made meaning of it in the Resurrection. Instead of pretending that the horrors of life are not really horrors, we can call them what they are, and then make meaning out of them by rising from the grave of despair to live for others.<br /><br />5. I thirst.<br /><br />It is no surprise that Jesus said these words. Anyone who has sat at the bed of a dying person and put ice chips to their lips knows of the thirst of the dying. During crucifixion, Jesus would have been seriously dehydrated. It is no surprise that he said, “I thirst.” But it is surprising to me that John included this utterance. Johns is the spiritually lofty Gospel. Someone said that “In John, Jesus’ feet never seem to touch the ground.” In Mark’s earthy Gospel, these words would be natural; in John, they seem out of place. But there they are. I don’t know what possessed the spiritually minded John to include them. But this is what I make of it. When our mortal life does not satisfy, then we turn our eyes to the transcendent. The medieval theologian Boethius said that tragedy is where we find God. In the Jesus experience on the Cross, there is a spiritual thirst that John would have found worthy of his Gospel. “As the deer longs for the flowing steam, so longs my soul for you O God.” Psalm 22. But John knew that spiritual longing, like spiritual truth, were not free-floating in the clouds. Spiritual longing is enfleshed. “The Word became flesh . . . .” So there is a spiritual and a physical aspect to every longing. All desire, as St. Augustine taught us, is a partial expression of our ultimate desire – which whether we know it or not, is for the true end of all desires: God. When we hunger, thirst, or long for any earthly thing, it is an incarnate form of our longing for our Source and our Destiny, our Highest Good, the Ultimate Beauty. “O God you have made us for yourself,” Augustine wrote – but that is a misleading translation. It does not mean God made us for his own amusement or use. The word “for” means something more like “toward.” It means God has made us so that our longing is toward God. The “repining restlessness” (George Herbert) in our hearts, the perpetual dissatisfaction that keeps us uneasy, is the magnet and iron attraction drawing us toward God. That makes sense of the rest of the sentence. “O God you have made us for yourself and our hearts are restless until they rest in thee.” Jesus’ all too physical thirst and his longing for peace and consolation in the heart of God were one. It is the same for us in all our desires.<br /><br />6. It is finished.<br /><br />In John, these are Jesus’ last words. When I was a parish priest, my congregation observed Holy Week devoutly. The stripping of the altar was the most solemn ritual of the year. We then sat in one hour shifts with the reserved sacrament in a Gethsemane Garden though the night. At 9 in the morning, the hour of the crucifixion, a small group gathered around the altar in silence and slowly, reverently consumed the reserved sacrament. All year long, the sanctuary light burned beside the reserved sacrament, representing Christ’s presence. But now his sacramental presence was gone – the light extinguished. I placed the chalice on its side and said “It is finished.” We left in silence. Ending is tragic. But there is a beauty hidden in the tragedy. There is another meaning in these words. Sometimes they are translated, “It is accomplished.” You might say, “It is complete.” “It is perfect.” “It is made whole.” In his death, Jesus set something right. He brought a broken world together. The word “salvation” is often confused with pardon. It is actually much more than that. It is to be made whole, to have the fragments of our lives drawn together. It is to have the random joys and sorrow, the triumphs and the tragedies, the incidents and accidents which are like the scattered pieces of a puzzle assembled into a picture we can understand. When the final chapter in our meta-narrative has been written, everything that came before makes sense. Everything falls into place. In this moment of supreme sacrifice, meaning was restored to life. The chaos became a cosmos once more as God intended. The evil, the violence, the pettiness and greed -- all that makes a mess of life was swallowed up in that sacrifice. At the cost of the life of humanity and God, the fragmented universe was made whole.<br /><br />7. Into your hands I commend my spirit.<br /><br />These are Jesus’ last words in Luke, a final expression of faith. Jesus has completed his mission of healing and reconciliation. His purpose has been fulfilled. That is “a consummation devoutly to be wished” -- to have accomplished all one has been given to do. But it is a terrible moment too because one no longer has a purpose. One no longer has a claim of right to exist. One no longer has anything with which to bargain with reality, nothing left to offer. Jesus was at that moment empty, as it says in Philippians. Having nothing left in himself, he entrusted himself to God. Most of my life, I have thought I had something to offer the world, even something to offer God. But there came a time when I felt I had nothing left to give, that my continued presence on the earth would probably do no good. Like the dying thief, I had no justification. That’s when I prayed the words of Jesus, “Into your hands I commend my spirit.” It seems God had a few more things for me to do and I am doing them as I am able, “with God’s help.” But from that time, I have known that it’s all grace. Every day is God’s gift. My spirit is in God’s hands, dependent on his mercy and his will. Each of us comes to the end of our rope from time to time – sometimes in big ways, other times in small ways. That is when we can pray these words of Jesus; these “Turn it over. Turn it all over” words – a prayer that is not so much spoken as exhaled into God. There is a peace in that surrender like no other. It is a letting go and floating in God. Dying to self is the only way to live in the Spirit. That is the message Jesus taught us with his last breath.

The Seven Last Words

It is a 500-year-old tradition of the Church to reflect in Holy Week on the Seven Last Words of Jesus, the poignantly short utterances of Ou...

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Back to square one

Now that the glow of the Big Climb has worn off, and I can't use the stress of the event as an excuse to eat, it's time to get back to basics.<br /><br />Tomorrow is my first Weight Watchers at work meeting, which means I'll have my first official weigh-in in weeks. Even though I've been faithfully going to my Saturday meetings I haven't been weighing in. I weigh at home, but it's just not the same. I need the accountability of the Weight Watcher weigh-ins. <br /><br />I also haven't been to the gym for five days! A new record for me of being absent from something I was doing almost every day without even thinking about it. <br /><br />I didn't mention this but last Tuesday I hurt my bad knee going down the 37 flights at the Sheraton (I used the elevator the second time). Going up the stairs doesn't hurt my knees at all. In fact, I've read that stair climbing is one of the lowest impact exercises possible, even lower impact than walking. Going down stairs is really hard on the body, especially the knees and hips. For stair climbing they always recommend using the elevator for going down. Except when I hurt my knee going down the stairs, it really starting hurting going up the stairs too. Not good.<br /><br />After my workout last Wednesday where my knee was hurting pretty bad, I took off Thursday, Friday, and Saturday and Sunday (Big Climb day) from the gym. I only had an hour long walk on Thursday, but it was down and up a very steep hill, one mile each way, walking super fast with a coworker. It killed my knee. Luckily it was healed by the Big Climb on Sunday. Yesterday I was just lazy and skipped the gym. <br /><br />It's 5:04 a.m. right now, and I'll be out the door in about 15 minutes heading to the gym. Back to my regular workouts. <br /><br />Tracking my food and following the plan<br />I also haven't been tracking my food the last few days, and I even went out to lunch yesterday. Thai food, Cashew Chicken with white rice! I ate the entire thing. There must have been a lot of sodium in it because I was dying of thirst all afternoon and could barely get my ring off last night. <br /><br />I haven't done anything like that in years. I'm always really careful when I eat out, ordering the lowest calorie item and only eating half. It was like the old me was back, and I don't really like the old me. The one that ate whatever and whenever she felt like it. <br /><br />I'm nipping that in the bud. Back to healthy food, and tracking every bite. <br /><br />Killing the nighttime eating monster<br />Anyone that's read my blog for a while knows I have a terrible time with eating late at night. Last night I decided that has to stop. It's been out of control lately. I decided that once I go to bed, that's it, I am done for the day. The restaurant is closed! No more getting up in the middle of the night and eating. I didn't use to do this, and I'm not even sure how it got started, but for the last year or so it's been my demon.<br /><br />Even if it's healthy food, it has to stop. Last night was night number one of my new "rule". I thought about getting up a few times when I woke up at midnight and again at 1 a.m., but I didn't. I stayed in bed and eventually fell back to sleep. A little self-discipline is good for the soul (and the waistline!). It wasn't really that hard last night, but of course, I'd eaten much more than normal during the day. I know it'll be a lot harder now that I'll be back on plan.<br /><br />Back to square one, what's always worked in the past will work again in the future.<br /><br />Now for the gym!

Back to square one

Now that the glow of the Big Climb has worn off, and I can't use the stress of the event as an excuse to eat, it's time to get back ...

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Nursery Progress

<p>Over spring break Kyle hung a few shelves in the nursery. I had a picture in my head of what I wanted to do with them, but needed to actually bring it to reality.</p> <p>This is the view from the doorway: the crib is straight on & the shelves on the left. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip0nZ8i1bNpuCUpqWKBvwQAaVoaEe-lV5x8R8-G0kVdtzvAbSDveMpxBHxBpmw70le-Q4DRZJIrtue2XEH1tgXLJpCXQihdDRVcN7QpR-LRuKQgEKCJklpB4xZHXIPu6OGgPkAqPktxXV5/s1600-h/DSC09868%5B3%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC09868" border="0" height="471" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA2UHjSEjZp5p1V4rSH1jS6Cus195i0jhiMrRSPNZhiFn84BC8otZREc8mfE26d1NcDFXHUq-8wJknygY4JEIvrfOEoRv2AX6PRxa9HPMQmb3nVkKHSLUj1ZFRD0MsB1uKdpiJouBp7D5t/?imgmax=800" style="border-top-width: 0px; display: block; border-left-width: 0px; float: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; border-right-width: 0px" title="DSC09868" width="354"></a></p> <p>Here is another view. I used white gallery frames on the shelf we picked up at Ikea. Here are the details:</p> <ul> <li>The frame on the far left has a pink scrapbook paper with a white swirly design, once we pick out her name I’m going to be a big initial of her first name. <li>The 2nd frame is something I designed & framed. (see next picture) <li>Then we have her ultrasound. <li>Lastly, I finished it off with some coordinating scrapbook paper I picked up at Hobby Lobby. <li>The 2 pink iron flowers below are hooks I also got at Hobby Lobby for $3/each.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWhDq9o9l-B4H3AcZRheMup5VtJXJ5SlqJgpW0Pm3C6tTYzbj6FBYDcDu1JEfvOjBNgnp7TjQoxunnhxrLa_F-P1HTd3J4B9ga2vIaExFsxpx7fKjW22n6T3L4kStgWCucD836zJqJVNxW/s1600-h/DSC09860%5B3%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC09860" border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3olVlX9YFSskbmrVh9S2qGUSGhyT1d8MSDDwkwL767Px4xLiVCmoGcwK40tKMT9iW0LjWRwWRbPmmLknJba3Ysg_0icOJO5RE8bqgQieOXE9hZ4llsmveLE_bW0Pp9tXaOjxtsFcwEPJ_/?imgmax=800" style="border-top-width: 0px; display: block; border-left-width: 0px; float: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; border-right-width: 0px" title="DSC09860" width="404"></a></li></ul> <p>Here is a close up of what I made! I used the colors in her nursery (pink, blue, green, & brown), difference sizes, and jumbled the alphabet for something fun! I was so happy with how it turned out!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEY0Vs9MDTTHVU7hakXwKQ8sIrWaGL43rQsZBGl4Q7Rpdq5EqVzoHFtEe2ZyKkt1c-yIPyA__IvSrEdO5D_YllOpcVXGPG0frbn0dKlRVog9AlxlnnWUDvpYBlT61SlUQTqr8fX_N7LX4r/s1600-h/DSC09861%5B3%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC09861" border="0" height="471" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiowCU6X8Ohvs2BeFviA4NSQCcTNqaKbEgT49ikO9LVR3GVN2P9GXirzR4k7FZfuaMsjgvF1usNMPW-TvVLGMqEs0GHW3DMh5j79vQYp0kJP8tDgzHJPsXgnD0SioWNC6m0OZmGef1rP25D/?imgmax=800" style="border-top-width: 0px; display: block; border-left-width: 0px; float: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; border-right-width: 0px" title="DSC09861" width="354"></a></p> <p>Kyle also hung something I “stumbled” upon in our storage area in the basement. This is a scrapbook display frame my sister Mindi gave me years ago! It’s magnetic and also has some mini clothes pins. I thought this will be a great place to display pictures, her birth announcement, etc!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilFuG5g_G09MSxgcWu4EsrCz6I-xGwHd339QZHvN0vKCFgiu76Mx9oM950CZe13LxqKH7tlyk50jKpjBlAUyXvTy6mchOO7Ywp9OtjxbGUbEHe-vnArUfLUac7jE0ZmPLVjvtizbYm9dX0/s1600-h/DSC09865%5B3%5D.jpg"><img alt="DSC09865" border="0" height="471" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuEbb7vYALJmoDWPMS7gmbZa-J3JZw5ecS6LYThTyA81B8rRCd9jC5jiI0SmV_FZfHvQLDrqy7L4SvxFv9FFZ2Jfj8_Fsr2OnWw_vNAcCPC6qL9lhfkD_-oEmuDmmwDMRGaHMqaZG0bymu/?imgmax=800" style="border-top-width: 0px; display: block; border-left-width: 0px; float: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; border-right-width: 0px" title="DSC09865" width="354"></a></p> <p>After we got these things done, I just sat in the glider and enjoyed the room! *sigh* Just love it so far! I can’t wait for her to get here, the most important piece of this whole puzzle! I have another plan for the remaining 2 walls. One is dependent on what we pick for her name & the other is dependent on finding a friendly seamstress! ;) So we’ll save those for another day!</p>

Nursery Progress

Over spring break Kyle hung a few shelves in the nursery. I had a picture in my head of what I wanted to do with them, but needed to actuall...

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The Big Climb was totally AWESOME!!!

The Big Climb Seattle 2011<br /><br />After all my worrying and fretting about being a Big Climb team captain, after kicking myself in the butt a zillion times because I didn't lose twenty or even ten pounds for the event, I would say today was one of the best days of my life!<br /><br />My husband took a ton of pictures today (and many of them not at all flattering to me), but the one below is my absolute favorite. <br /><br />The guy on the left is Steve, and our team was Alaska Airlines Climbing for Steve. Steve was diagnosed with <span class="goog_qs-tidbit goog_qs-tidbit-0">myelodysplastic syndromes</span><span class="goog_qs-tidbit goog_qs-tidbit-0"> (</span>preleukemia) last August and had a stem cell transplant last fall. The guy on the right is one of our pilots, Paul. He was in the exact spot last year that Steve is now, recovering from a stem cell transplant after being diagnosed with MDS. This year Paul did the climb, and next year, both Paul and Steve will do the climb. I really love this picture. That's me in the back, on the right (with the bleached blond hair hiding behind people).<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_gcxjLK4CURHA2vcWfkS8ghDtlxhH__4UR9PCQESm9iCpGxT1GoBBVxm7jkfhRmzzfw-ZL43tWdBJEHaysK1htI2RWPVpPUSt7evw4cmdvTF7G6XfOTrbrDIZaJbVQweqKIzrxr_IHg8_/s1600/P1020712.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_gcxjLK4CURHA2vcWfkS8ghDtlxhH__4UR9PCQESm9iCpGxT1GoBBVxm7jkfhRmzzfw-ZL43tWdBJEHaysK1htI2RWPVpPUSt7evw4cmdvTF7G6XfOTrbrDIZaJbVQweqKIzrxr_IHg8_/s640/P1020712.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><br />The anticipation and excitement was in the air when my husband and I entered the lobby of Columbia Center at 8:30am Sunday (my team's start time was 10:30am). It's a huge space, and it was packed with people, many wearing their team t-shirts. Most people were very fit and healthy looking. You could feel the adrenalin, as well as the fear that some of us first timers were feeling.<br /><br />We arrived extra early because I wanted to make sure we had a space next to Starbucks on the main floor. It turned out not to be a problem because the Starbucks was located in an out of the way corner. I was a little worried no one would find us, but they all showed up. <br /><br />Our company had two teams, my team, Climbing for Steve (since most of us knew him we wanted to honor him with a team just for him). The other team wasn't climbing for anyone specific. All together we had 60 people. Between the two teams we raised $8,500 dollars, which I thought was pretty good for a first time effort.<br /><br />I was very surprised to see Steve show up to thank us in person. He had told me he would try to come, but if he wasn't feeling well, he might not make it. He's had a rough few weeks lately so I wasn't sure if he'd make it or not. Steve is one of the kindest, most gentle human beings I've ever met. He made a little speech of gratitude to our team before we took off on our climb. It was very touching and made me cry.<br /><br />As we were going up the escalators for our 10:30am start time I heard someone shout my name, "Diana!". I turned around and there was Alan from <a href="http://www.poundsoffplayoff.com/">Pounds Off Playoff</a>, with his wife and two kids. I recognized him from his blog picture. I yelled back a "Hi Alan, and Alan's wife and two kids!". I wish I could have spoken to him and his family. It's so cool to meet people that write blogs. It's like you know the person before you even meet them. But we were on our march to the start of the climb and there was no going back at that point.<br /><br />I'm not going to kid you and say the climb of 69 floors or 1,311 steps was easy for me. It was not easy. It was hard. I slowed down a few times to let younger, more fit people pass me, but I never stopped and rested. My heart rate got up to 161 and stayed there for the last ten minutes. When I work out on the StairMaster at the gym (which is NOTHING like the real thing) my heart rate is usually in the 135-140 range, occasionally going up to 151. <br /><br />A heart rate of 161 for ten minutes is extremely high for me, especially because of my age (55) my target heart rate (85% of maximum) is 140. I really felt like I was pushing myself hard, and I kept repeating over and over in my head, mind over matter, mind over matter...I can and will do this.<br /><br />The hardest part was the first ten floors, because I knew how far I had to go and it seemed like a really long way to the 69th floor, the last ten floors were killer because I was exhausted! They number the last ten floors, each floor with a big sign, only ten more floors, only nine more floors, etc. Plus as you get close to the top there was a person at each landing cheering us on, saying things like "good job!" or "you're almost there!" The floors left numbers and the cheering really helped.<br /><br />One thing that was so emotional for me was the big 8 1/2" x 11" photos on each floor. Several said "In memory of" and a name and date. Some said "In honor of" and a name. This gave me momentum to keep going. I couldn't help but think what each of these people and many others have gone through with cancer. If I could honor them by making this small sacrifice, then it was worth it. <br /><br />The team t-shirt that really touched my heart the most was a team called Project Trevor. On the back of a bright orange t-shirt it had a picture of a young boy. Below the picture, it said "Dad, I have a question. Is Leukemia life threatening?" ~Trevor 2002. I saw some people wearing the t-shirt in the elevator and said to a woman, your t-shirt made me cry, but what a wonderful way to honor Trevor. She pointed to a man standing beside her and said that Trevor was his best friend's son. Then we all started to tear up a bit and someone said, "No tears here today! Only happy thoughts!" and we all laughed.<br /><br />I looked up Team Trevor's web page and this is what their greeting said:<br /><br />Project Trevor is the Big Climb Team Honoring Trevor Price, a young man, lost to Leukemia at 12 years of age. We have been a a key team in the recent growth of this fantastic event. We are encouraged by a young man that will forever be 12 years of age; a young man that was always older than his years. <br /><br />Here's a <a href="http://www.pnwlocalnews.com/east_king/iss/community/42433532.html">link</a> to more about Trevor. What's even sadder is that he lost his life five months after he was diagnosed with leukemia, at 12 years of age. Team Trevor raised $15,808.59 for today's event. Wow. <br /><br />Sorry, I digress. Back to the actual climb. First of all, I didn't run it, but I was in the "racer" group so I could be timed. When I got to the sign that said "Five floors left!" I could hear the Rocky theme music (Gonna Fly Now). That really helped. It got louder and louder as I neared the top. You know the music, where Rocky is running up the steps in the movie. <br /><br />So, are you wondering about my results?<br /><br />Time:  19 minutes and 38 seconds<br />Place overall:  2635 out of 3242  <---these were the timed climbers, there was another 3,000 untimed<br />Pace by sex:  1100 out of 1499<br />Place in my age group:  91/131<br /><br />Now those numbers aren't super fantastic, but dang, I'm kind of proud of it for my first time. Especially considering that I'm 55 years old and at least 30 pounds overweight (but not next year!). <br /><br />Are you wondering how the 80-year old woman placed? Actually, this year she's 81.<br /><br />Shirley Lansing, 81, 36 minutes and 36 seconds. <br /><br />I hope I do that well when I'm 81!<br /><br />My goal for next year, 15 minutes! I saw several people in their fifties did it in 15 minutes or less this year. Imagine how easy it would be if I was thirty or even fifty pounds lighter?<br /><br />Overall, I really enjoyed this event. I talked to the other team captain and we're already scheming how to have one big team next year of over 100 people. If we raised $8,500 with 60 people, we can raise at least $10,000 (or more) with 100 people. <br /><br /><strong>Speaking of weight</strong><br />I weighed this morning when I got up.<br /><br />186.4<br /><br />Holy Crap Batman!<br /><br />I've been stressed out a little over the Big Climb. It had some sort of negative effect on my eating. I realize that doesn't make any sense but it's almost like I had this overwhelming pressure to lose weight. I mean seriously, the fat girl is going to climb 69 floors and not have a heart attack? The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to eat. It was really odd how it made me feel.<br /><br />Looking through all the pictures my husband took of me today, I'm looking very fat. There's just no other way to say it, but I can really see the weight on my body and face and I don't like it one little bit. Not to mention hauling this body up 69 flights was a lot harder than it should have been for me.<br /><br />We have a Weight Watchers at work group that just started, and I'm joining it. It's on Wednesdays at noon for 17 weeks. We have over 20 people signed up so we get an extra discount with Weight Watchers for having over 20 people, and our company is paying for 30% of the fee. Plus I'm staying in my Saturday meetings and paying my online fee. So I'll have two meetings and two weighins a week for the next 17 weeks. I feel really excited that I'm going to finally make some headway on losing weight again. <br /><br /><strong>Battle: Los Angeles</strong><br />This post is already too long, but I have to tell you about the movie we saw this afternoon. Battle: Los Angeles. I loved it! It kept me on the edge of my seat the entire movie. I laughed, I cried, and was thoroughly entertained for almost two hours (but it seemed like twenty minutes). <br /><br />It's a sci-fi with aliens-war-suspense-scary movie. All the stuff I love rolled into one movie. I'm sort of a weird female because I love war movies. I'm sure it's from being married to a big history buff for the last 23 years. I've seen more than my share of war movies (but I kind of like them now).<br /><br />Anyway, I loved it. I know the ratings aren't the greatest, but it's one of the best movies I've seen in a long time. Definitely worth seeing on the big screen. <br /><br />I must still be high from my climb. I'm a real chatterbox tonight!

The Big Climb was totally AWESOME!!!

The Big Climb Seattle 2011 After all my worrying and fretting about being a Big Climb team captain, after kicking myself in the butt a zilli...

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Waiting Till the End to Say My Piece

January 27. I was on my computer when I spotted that the Michigan-Michigan State basketball game was going to be on ESPN3.com. Yes, the game was at East Lansing; yes, the Wolverines hadn't won there in 15 years; yes, they had just lost six straight and were 1-6 in the Big Ten, but I was still excited. It would be the first time I'd really seen them in action since late December - which would make my grand total M basketball viewings for the year go up to 2.<br /><br />But when I got to the website, I was dismayed to see that there was only two minutes left in the game. My sadness quickly turned to elation when I found out <i>we were winning!</i> I nervously watched the final seconds click down, and just like that, the tide had turned. After hearing for a month on Detroit sports radio that Michigan head coach John Beilein would likely be fired after this season, and that this team was too young and there were no leaders, it was a shock to my system. Sometimes, a good dose of positive energy can really renew a person!<br /><br />So I kept paying attention, with my ear to the ground. I didn't make any proclamations that Michigan was the best - because they weren't, but also because I didn't want to take this "upset" and make it a big deal. (Even though I really really wanted to.)<br /><br />That became my mindset for the rest of the season. After close calls (Wisconsin) and more fun games (MSU again, Minnesota), I still wasn't going to announce this team was turning a corner. And even after they came back against Illinois in the second round of the Big Ten Tournament (since they'd earned a bye), I wasn't going to announce to the world that Michigan was back.<br /><br />Nope, not even after Michigan pounded Tennessee 75-45 in the "second" round of the NCAA Tourney was I going to proclaim that this had been a good season.<br /><br />Only now, after a narrow loss to Duke and the end of the season, will I make my remarks:<br /><br />That was a good season!<br /><br />After starting well (beating Harvard) and having an awful middle (you lost to Indiana?!), the Michigan Wolverines' players came together as a team to share responsibilities. Even though players like Darius Morris and Tim Hardaway Jr. got their names out into the public, there were other players like Stu Douglass shooting threes and Zack Novak trying to guard the big men and snatching rebounds away from them. Even though only two players had gone to the Big Dance before (Douglass and Novak), they showed poise and patience in their two games at that level.<br /><br />But there's one problem to this season: haven't we seen this before?<br /><br />Two years ago, in the 2008-09 season, Michigan had built a respectable record and had also gone to the NCAA Tournament's second round, losing to Blake Griffin and number 2 Oklahoma. They had almost everyone returning for the next year, including Manny Harris and DeShawn Sims. But they had a down year and didn't even make the tournament. The fact that they made it back this year with no Senior leadership was huge!<br /><br />But will history repeat itself? After all, we are having almost all our players from this year returning for the next year. Are we going to have all our offseason expectations dashed by Christmas? <br /><br />I hope that the Wolverines take recent history into account and are able to build on this season. Then hopefully I can proclaim this amazing season from Day One!

Waiting Till the End to Say My Piece

January 27. I was on my computer when I spotted that the Michigan-Michigan State basketball game was going to be on ESPN3.com. Yes, the game...

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Zero days until the Big Climb

In about eight hours I'll be getting up and getting dressed for the big climb. In about twelve hours I'll be lined up to start the climb of 1,311 steps.<br /><br />I've picked out what I'm wearing, black cropped workout pants, a black sleeveless, v-neck workout top, the kind that stays dry (you can't see or feel the sweat, it wicks away, whatever that means), my favorite workout socks, and my favorite workout shoes. I have my heart rate monitor ready next to my socks so I don't forget it. Plus my gloves to wear so I won't be touching the bannister with my bare hands (I have a slight germ phobia about public stair bannisters--they're gross!).<br /><br />I picked up the racing packets for my team in Seattle this morning and they're in the trunk of my car. <br /><br />I had my hair cut and highlighted today so I'm ready for pictures. I had about an inch cut off, and it's really blond again (almost need sunglasses to look at it). No reverse highlights this time, just two tones of blond. I'm thinking it's a little bit too blond.<br /><br />And I'm nervous as heck. I don't really know why but I feel anxious about this event. I know I can do the 69 floors, but I know it's going to be hard. My bad left knee has been bothering me a little since I did the Sheraton stairs on Tuesday (37 flights twice). <br /><br />Maybe it's because I'm team captain, and I know I'm going to have to be all smiles and friendly. Basically, I'll have to be "on" as I meet and greet people tomorrow morning. I keep telling myself not to worry, it's no big deal, and it'll be over before I know it. <br /><br />It's for a good cause, raising money for a good reason, to help the people that have leukemiaia, lymphoma or one of the other blood diseases. I keep telling myself that this is nothing in comparison to going through cancer. If you've ever known anyone that's gone through chemo, you know a little about the agony of having cancer.<br /><br />This is basically about 35 minutes of my life where I'll have some discomfort climbing stairs. Imagine months of chemo, daily doctor visits, hospital stays, losing my hair, feeling sick and weak all the time. Nauseousness from the drugs, throwing up. Those are the people that are the heroes in this story. <br /><br />Funny, I suddenly feel better about this whole thing. I'll report back tomorrow how it went. Hopefully I can beat that 80-year old woman's time from last year, 35 minutes.

Zero days until the Big Climb

In about eight hours I'll be getting up and getting dressed for the big climb. In about twelve hours I'll be lined up to start the c...

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