The other part of my not wanting children surrounds my career. I'm pursuing a new field of work, and the time it's going to take me to accomplish this goal is unknown at this point. What I do know is that it would've been a whole lot easier doing this without a child in the picture. Now, I just worry that I'll ever be able to finish at all!
Since 2010, I have been pursuing a second degree to become a nurse. I've already covered a lot of ground in this area, but I have a lot more left to go. I was excited to start at a new school in Fall 2012 and was highly motivated about getting my remaining courses knocked out. Then about 2 months into the semester I not only found out about being pregnant, but I was dealing with all day sickness. It was so hard to concentrate on school and devote the same level of time to studying that I was previously used to. I even failed an exam, which I had never done in all of my college career. I was able to finish the semester and pass my class, but I decided against signing up for the Spring. I was so stressed out last semester, I knew there was no way I could combat another one, especially not knowing if/when the sickness would end. I am honestly happy I've taken this semester off, but it was still a tough decision knowing I'd be setting my career dreams off even longer.
I know that plenty of parents out there are pursuing degrees and making it work. Still, my thoughts have always been why stress yourself out anymore than necessary? I am very desperate to make a career change because I hate my job so much right now. Thinking about having to stay in this field any longer depresses me. Still, I will now have another life I'm responsible for and I know I will have to do what it takes to provide for this child.
Some of my other reasons for not wanting to having children include the financial burdens and constraints, not wanting to give up my freedom, losing "Joel and me" time, fear of being a bad parent, fear of bringing a human into this world that seems less than ideal right now, etc etc. There are others but that is the gist.
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Posted by: Tukiyooo
Putting My Career Transition on Hold Updated at :
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Wednesday, February 20, 2013
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