Well friends, you didn't miss much in my world I can assure you. It was a week filled with very poor eating choices and weight gain.
However, it was a week where I still managed to get in 4 very good days of activity - 2 in Philly, 1 in North Carolina and 1 yesterday. I'm proud of those days of exercise - it was the one thing I felt I had the most control over throughout my travels.
On the NC trip, I had a bit of a breakdown. I was feeling extremely uncomfortable in my dress, along with the control top tights. I should not have bought control top... it almost defeats the purpose if you think about it. The fitted top sucks you in so much that it creates even more rolls above the ones it's trying to eliminate, and those rolls made me feel ugly and fat and sad. (I even had a moment where I was contemplating ending this blog all together. I'm supposed to be blogging about weight that I'm losing, but if you look at the numbers on the left, you'll see why I feel like such an weight-loss-blogging imposter.)
There were plenty of coworkers at this wedding. These people have never seen me in a dress before, and I also had insecurities of exposing my legs to them. Of course, "these people" are all skinny girls who live on a different planet that I do. They dress to impress. I dress to blend in. Let's just say the wedding weekend was not one of the highlights of my life.
One good thing that did come out of that weekend was Joel agreed to do Weight Watchers with me. We tried to institute a weight loss competition many months ago, but he and I loosely followed it, chalking up our living situation to the reason why we couldn't seriously follow along. However, in due part to my breakdown and also due to his recent diagnosis of high blood pressure, he knows he needs to get in shape and lose some weight as well. So we will be Points+ counting fools, and I'm so excited that he has agreed to participate. It's so tough trying to eat "right" when you have a partner who has a completely different food agenda.
I have high hopes for myself:
1. Of one day being a dashing bride - a thinner version of myself, walking down the aisle to ooohhh's and ahhhh's from friends and family who cannot believe I finally lost The Big Weight.
2. Of being a confident individual in all that I do, especially at work.
3. Of loving myself first, so that I can more effectively love those closest to me.
I need to keep reminding myself: Every time the food wins, it steals away my joy in life.
There is no telling how many miles you will have to run while chasing a dream. ~Author Unknown
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Posted by: Tukiyooo
A Breakdown Updated at :
1:15 PM
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
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