Jay's Imaginary Friend: The Brawl

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="MsoNormal">Holaaaaaaaaaa! Look who just showed up out of nowhere? Yup, it’s my Imaginary Friend, "IF" … <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">IF: Hey, whatcha up to? <br />Jay: Oh crap. You again?<br />IF: I’ve missed you too.<br />Jay: I don’t think you have. <br />IF: Well I have whether you believe it or not. <br />Jay: Whatever. What are you doing here? <br />IF: I just wanted to see you and hang out with you.<br />Jay: Okay, you’ve seen me, now leave. <br />IF: WOW! You’ve gotten really mean lately. <br />Jay: Why do you always show up when I’m sick, in pain, haven’t slept or all three? <br />IF: I just have great timing, I guess. <br />Jay: I guess. <br />IF: Maybe I show up in times of stress because you need me? <br />Jay: I NEEEEEEEED for you to leave me alone. <br />IF: No you don’t. <br />Jay: Yes I do. <br />IF: Oooooo snappy comeback! <br />Jay: Fuck off. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">IF: You have issues. <br />Jay: Doesn’t everybody? <br />IF: Yeah, but I think yours are worse than most. <br />Jay: Pffffft … I know some pretty fucked up people. <br />IF: Do they make you feel better about yourself? <br />Jay: Only for a little while. <br />IF: And then you become concerned for them?<br />Jay: Yup.<br />IF: Well, that’s a good thing. I mean, you’re a good person. <br />Jay: You’re an annoying person. <br />IF: Well, you’re not THAT good of a person. <br />Jay: But, you are very annoying. <br />IF: No I’m not. I’m your friend. <br />Jay: My asshole friend who won’t leave me alone? <br />IF: You need me around. <br />Jay: Wrong again! <br />IF: Have you ever considered moving?<br />Jay: I took a “<a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/ashleyperez/what-city-should-you-actually-live-in" target="_blank">Where Should You Live</a>” quiz online today. <br />IF: What city did you get? <br />Jay: Portland<br />IF: The Strip Club Capital of America. What a shock! <br />Jay: They didn’t ask any strip club questions. <br />IF: Yet they got it right anyway. Weird. <br />Jay: I guess it was the “what’s your jam” question. <br />IF: What did you answer?<br />Jay: Shakira “Hips Don’t Lie.” <br /><!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i.imgur.com/LA60yvZ.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://i.imgur.com/LA60yvZ.gif" width="300" /></a></div><br /><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">IF: HEY! <br />Jay: What? <br />IF: What’s that on your desk? <br />Jay: My desk has lots of stuff on it. <br />IF: I know, you’re a slob. <br />Jay: It’s pretty organized. <br />IF: Anyway, what’s that blue can? <br />Jay: *SIGH* Its’ a Pepsi. <br />IF: I’m so disappointed in you. <br />Jay: That doesn’t make you unique. <br />IF: I thought you gave it up. <br />Jay: I did. I proved I can do it. <br />IF: So now you’re drinking Pepsi again? <br />Jay: Not regularly. <br />IF: And what happened to walking every day?<br />Jay: What about it? <br />IF: Well, you were walking a lot. Did you walk today?<br />Jay: Yes I did! <br />IF: How far. <br />Jay: To the mailbox. <br />IF: That’s all? <br />Jay: AND BACK! <br />IF: That’s not much. <br />Jay: Well aren’t you judgmental? <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">IF: No, I’m concerned. </div><div class="MsoNormal">Jay: But only for a little while. Then you feel better about yourself. <br />IF: Oh you’re so clever. <br />Jay: Sometimes. <br />IF: Not that often though. <br />Jay: I’m going punch you.<br />IF: Take your best shot. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEhN8pEs6ExQyWx1M3Y-o1I9WmMlEUiaes7Em3liQsI6qFTCglW1XXpA2__prqe8ZWhP7SCpm5trWu2Asce1hxYDWM80e4KgO_3ncTjkZdnLorpIVAqcxrbfKZeYY_kjxiv4s7AMEHUZ9n/s1600/Batman+Fight+Pow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="295" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEhN8pEs6ExQyWx1M3Y-o1I9WmMlEUiaes7Em3liQsI6qFTCglW1XXpA2__prqe8ZWhP7SCpm5trWu2Asce1hxYDWM80e4KgO_3ncTjkZdnLorpIVAqcxrbfKZeYY_kjxiv4s7AMEHUZ9n/s1600/Batman+Fight+Pow.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />Jay: *Swings*<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">*SMACK*<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">IF: Ow! You hit me! <br />Jay: I told you I was going to. <br />IF: That’s fucked up. <br />Jay: You asked for it. <br />IF: Yeah well <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">*POW*<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Jay: What the fuck was that? <br />IF: I hit you back! <br />Jay: That’s it I’m going to kick your ass. <br />IF: You’ll run out of breathe in two swings <br />Jay: It won’t take more than two. <br />IF: Oooooo you’re such a tough gu… <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">*BANG* *POW* *SMACK*<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">IF: *Nancy Kerrigan Voice* WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?<br />Jay: Shit. I’m sorry. <br />IF: No you’re not. <br />Jay: Well, I kind of am. No really, I am. <br />IF: I can’t believe you did that! <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">*POW* *KICK* *SLAP* <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Jay: That was a cheap shot you fucker! <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">*AHHHHHHHKICKPUNCHELBOWKNEEBACKHANDSTOMPSCREAMINGCRYING*<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><br /><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="mailto:Jayman3768@gmail.com">Jayman3768@gmail.com</a><br /><a href="http://www.facebook.com/jayman68" target="_blank">My Facebook</a><br /><a href="http://www.twitter.com/jayman_iws" target="_blank">@Jayman_IWS</a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div></div>

Jay's Imaginary Friend: The Brawl

Holaaaaaaaaaa! Look who just showed up out of nowhere? Yup, it’s my Imaginary Friend, "IF" … IF: Hey, whatcha up to? Jay: Oh crap....

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