Lindsay Lohan pregnant or pretending?

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><img src="http://global.fncstatic.com/static/managed/img/Entertainment/lindsay%20court%20661%20reuters.jpg" /><br /><br /><div style="border: 0px none; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Lindsay Lohan is at the center of a pregnancy riddle after 'telling' fans she is expecting.</div><div style="border: 0px none; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">A tweet from her official account containing the shock news was sent at 7.35am UK time, just days after she was seen <a href="http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/4865991/Lindsay-Lohan-under-a-table.html" rel="external ext-linked" style="color: #183a52; cursor: pointer; outline: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">slumped under a table at a Brazilian nightclub</a><img src="http://global.fncstatic.com/static/v/all/img/external-link.png" style="border: 0px none; margin: 4px 0px 0px 4px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" />.</div><div style="border: 0px none; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">It simply read: "It's official. Pregnant."</div><div style="border: 0px none; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The message was posted to Li-Lo's 5.7 million followers on 1 April at around 10.30pm PST, suggesting the actress could be playing a late April Fools' Day joke or that her account had been hacked.</div><div style="border: 0px none; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The posting has been re-tweeted by more than 10,000 users and has become a worldwide trending topic</div><div style="border: 0px none; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Lohan, 26, has been dating City Of The Sun guitarist <a href="http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/4854775/lindsay-lohan-dates-musician-avi-snow.html" rel="external ext-linked" style="color: #183a52; cursor: pointer; outline: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Avi Snow for the past few weeks</a><img src="http://global.fncstatic.com/static/v/all/img/external-link.png" style="border: 0px none; margin: 4px 0px 0px 4px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" />.<br style="outline: 0px;" /> </div><div style="border: 0px none; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Last Wednesday the troubled star was whisked to Brazil to open a new fashion store in Sao Paolo.</div><div style="border: 0px none; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The trip came shortly after dodging yet another jail stint during a court appearance.</div><div style="border: 0px none; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The actress will instead spend 90 days in a lock-down rehab clinic where she will reportedly be treated for alcohol and prescription drug addiction.</div><span style="border: 0px none; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /><br /></span></div>

Lindsay Lohan Lindsay Lohan pregnant or pretending?

Lindsay Lohan is at the center of a pregnancy riddle after 'telling' fans she is expecting. A tweet from her official account contai...

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Today's archidose #663

Here are some construction shots of the <a href="http://www.coop-himmelblau.at/architecture/projects/musee-des-confluences">Musée des Confluences</a> (2001-2014) in Lyon, France, by <a href="http://www.coop-himmelblau.at/">Coop Himmelb(l)au</a>, photographed by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/39946027@N00/">Christophe Durand</a>.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/39946027@N00/8609173607/" title="Lyon. Chantier du Musée des Confluences. by kriss69, on Flickr"><img alt="Lyon. Chantier du Musée des Confluences." height="480" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8384/8609173607_f7cf23d800_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/39946027@N00/8609171881/" title="Lyon. Chantier du Musée des Confluences. by kriss69, on Flickr"><img alt="Lyon. Chantier du Musée des Confluences." height="480" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8245/8609171881_d95737e46d_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/39946027@N00/8610283476/" title="Lyon. Chantier du Musée des Confluences. by kriss69, on Flickr"><img alt="Lyon. Chantier du Musée des Confluences." height="480" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8118/8610283476_b2f0c115b0_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/39946027@N00/8610281878/" title="Lyon. Chantier du Musée des Confluences. by kriss69, on Flickr"><img alt="Lyon. Chantier du Musée des Confluences." height="480" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8120/8610281878_27543fca65_z.jpg" width="640" /></a><br /><br />To contribute your Flickr images for consideration, just:<br /><blockquote>:: Join and add photos to the <a href="http://www.flickr.com/groups/archi-dose/">archidose pool</a>, and/or<br />:: Tag your photos <span style="font-style: italic;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tags/archidose/">archidose</a></span></blockquote>

Today's archidose #663

Here are some construction shots of the Musée des Confluences (2001-2014) in Lyon, France, by Coop Himmelb(l)au , photographed by Christoph...

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Librarian I - University of New Haven

<strong>Librarian I - </strong><strong><span style="color: #48286d;">University of New Haven</span></strong>. 7 hour/week position with no benefits. Duties: Provides research and reference assistance to on-site and distant students and faculty. Provides information literacy instruction to class groups and individual students. Develops and updates LibGuides; designs web-based tutorials; and assists faculty in the development of student’s information literacy and research skills through course-integrated instruction. Prepares newsletters and assists with special projects as needed. Exercises administrative control over the library during weekend or evening hours, when sole professional on duty. Qualifications: ALA-accredited MLS degree is highly desirable. A student currently enrolled in an ALA-accredited MLS degree program will be considered. Current library reference experience is needed. Demonstrated proficiency in use of traditional and electronic resources and electronic databases. Demonstrated ability to teach. Must be service-oriented and have effective, demonstrated verbal and written communication skills. Excellent time management skills and ability to prioritize. Demonstrated ability to work collegially and professionally with all levels of staff. Strong computer & information management skills are needed. Experience with LibGuides, Microsoft Office applications, web design applications, and course management systems, such as Blackboard strongly preferred. The salary meets the CLA recommended minimum. Primarily weekend hours. Applications accepted until position is filled. Applications should include cover letter specifying search number, resume, and names/phone numbers of 3 professional references. Email to: <a _fcksavedurl="mailto:hrdept@newhaven.edu" href="mailto:hrdept@newhaven.edu">hrdept@newhaven.edu</a> or mail to: Search #12-97, University of New Haven, 300 Boston Post Road, West Haven, CT 06516. AA/EOE.

Librarian I - University of New Haven

Librarian I - University of New Haven . 7 hour/week position with no benefits. Duties: Provides research and reference assistance to on-si...

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Boylan Bottling Mash Soda Review

<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you love soda you will most certainly enjoy these delicious wacky flavors from <a href="https://www.facebook.com/drinkmash">Drink Mash</a>. You might have heard about or tried their other sodas from Boylan Bottling Company. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yes the one that has their sodas bottled in glass that reminds you of old times from the malt shoppe or diners!</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Boylan Bottling sent me their new mash flavors for review.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u>I received:</u></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--NQA1yDXP9k/UVrR4oWD0PI/AAAAAAAAHY0/02mxuz_MLKQ/s1600/Mash+sodas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--NQA1yDXP9k/UVrR4oWD0PI/AAAAAAAAHY0/02mxuz_MLKQ/s320/Mash+sodas.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Pomegranate Blueberry</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ripe Mango Blood Orange</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Lemon Peel Ginger Root</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Grapefruit Citrus Zing</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In fact you have probably seen my review on their Shirley Temples.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Well today I am going to be talking to you about their mash sodas.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">They took two delicious flavors and mash them into one soda for great taste that you are sure to love!</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Their Ripe Mango Blood Orange and Pomegranate Blueberry are simply amazing!</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The taste is phenomenal, I've never tried anything like it!</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Who doesn't love two flavors in one bubbly concoction? </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Not really a big grapefruit or lemon peel fan for sodas, but they weren't too bad.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The kids are sure to love it!</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Face Book:</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/drinkmash"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">https://www.facebook.com/drinkmash</span></a></div>

Boylan Bottling Mash Soda Review

If you love soda you will most certainly enjoy these delicious wacky flavors from  Drink Mash . You might have heard about or tried their ot...

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11 ways to be positive when your spring break isn't all you wished for

<p> Yesterday with my eye partially covered with a bandage from the mohs surgery done to remove a skin cancer growth next to my eye, I realized that I was gifted with seeing things clearly.</p> <p>I'm not happy about having to do this surgery over spring break nor are my children happy that we are spending the money intended for our holiday on such unpleasantness but that is how it goes sometimes. Tomorrow (Wednesday) afternoon I'll be done with the last of it. </p> <p>Yet, as unpleasant as it is, life isn't all happy stuff. And when we have struggles, we can learn even from those. Here are some things that came to me yesterday as I went to Cracker Barrel with Mom, my face covered in gauze and iodine.</p> <ol> <li><strong>There are kind people in the world</strong>. The waitress was so kind to me. The lady at the doctor's who cut the gauze meticulously so I could see out of my right eye today was kind. The adept Mohs surgeon was kind, looking me in the eye and asking me if I had questions (and we even talked about my blog - why does that always come up - I guess it is important to me.)</li> <li><strong>Rejoice in the little things</strong>. I got to read a book yesterday while waiting and I got to spend time with my Mama. She's so busy and everyone wants her attention that time alone with her is precious. </li> <li><strong>Put one foot in front of the other</strong>. When dealing with unpleasantness it is important not to get too far ahead of yourself. I had to deal with yesterday before today. And today before tomorrow.</li> <li><strong>Play your game forward</strong>. You can't live life in the rear view mirror. I could be angry at myself for the year of sunbeds I did for the sake of beauty pageants. I could be bitter that others are out having fun while I'm dealing with this. Come to think of it, my kids could be bitter too. The great movie 7 Days in Utopia has a scene where Robert Duvall tells the golfer to "Play his game forward" - it means you look ahead of you and not behind you to determine what your next shot will be.</li> <li><strong>Mercy always trumps legalism</strong>. Kip brought home the Les Miserables movie last night. It is such a reminder to me of how mercy and love are always stronger than legalism and unforgiveness. Some will look down upon me and say "she's getting what she deserves because she got in the sunbed when she was 18, it serves her right." Yet, I have doctors who are giving me mercy, trying to help me look good again. I have a family who is merciful and my Dad picked up pizza for us. I had texted my kids that I needed some Tylenol hoping one of them would get it for me and I had 2 extra large bottles on the table that they had bought with their own money - each of them got it for me. Those 2 bottles of Tylenol are precious reminders that although I may struggle with my teens, underneath it all, they love me. Without this, I might have only seen the dirty laundry and dirty dishes.</li> <li><strong>There can be purpose in the pain</strong>. I was called back for a second time to have the doctor go back in and remove more. I have to admit, I just thought I was going to die, but while I was back, my Mom was helping a lady in the lobby who was struggling to get to the ladies room. She was there because I was back there. I believe the good Lord can use our struggles and pain to minister and be there for others. People need kindness wherever we are. If we're only self centered and see our own selves, we miss out on the chance to be a blessing.</li> <li><strong>Crying is not always the right thing to do. I</strong> admit, I'm a pretty private person. I've teared up on stage before talking about my students but I try not to. My Mom tells a story of when she and Dad were in Russia and Mom almost died in a Russian hospital due to an allergic reaction to some medicine she'd taken. As she sat there in the hallway of a dirty hospital, watching doctors reuse needles and with roaches crawling on the walls and beds, she realized how bad her situation was. Her throat was swollen and she could barely breathe. She started feeling the tears coming but then, she realized, "I can either cry and die or I can make it through this and live." She toughed it out and lived to come home to us girls. As I teared up yesterday, the worst pain of the day started shooting down my nose and through my eye. I quickly realized as upsetting as it was, that the best thing for me to do is to go through this, without the tears. Those would have been tears of self pity anyway as the biggest pain was gone. It is OK to cry when you lose someone but self-pity tears often make it worse.</li> <li><strong>There is always someone having a harder time</strong>. Dad had lunch yesterday with a man whose 28 year old daughter is hoping to get her kidney function back. She's been in the hospital 2 weeks and it is a tough situation. While it doesn't minimize my own pain, it does offer perspective that there are worse things that could happen.</li> <li><strong>There are always people having a great time out there</strong>. Facebook is filled with photos of people in fantastic places. I was talking on Facebook with people about a recent study that shows that most people have a temporary dip in self image after getting on Facebook. This person quoted a friend (I can't find the original comment) who said, "The problem with Facebook is that we are comparing the best exterior of others to our worst interior thoughts." Right now, I'm taking a Facebook break as much as I can. It is just too upsetting. Why do something that will make me more upset. Sure, it is spring break and most people are off, that is what people DO on spring break.</li> <li><strong>Choose your attitude</strong>. I don't sit in manure. So, why would I sit in unforgiveness, bitterness, and anger - three components of a stinky attitude? I'd rather have love, forgiveness, faith and renew my mind daily so that I can accomplish what God intended me to do with my life.</li> <li><strong>Remember</strong>. Last summer was awesome. More awesome than usual. I'll look back on the ziplining and rafting memories. Some women my age can't manage a canoe or ducky or zipline, so I'm happy I got to do that.</li></ol> <p>Even now, this blog post is part of my hope that God will use this situation for good. Some of you out there are having a pity party about something. Something didn't go as planned. You're not getting to do what you want to do. Someone you love is having a hard time. Why? Why? Why?</p> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTtLeTqwkG6Q7SHsnv3YwvUyEfszvrQA3b7egzl-pUlKwox6N3kEkev4qJxZMrzFhhpbP5oFRJV6jdJojd2q59n3PTsNhnSoVJdrJ9swdoM43N0wjOh8BlApo2_SET4RAL4uybezoR2Lgu/s720/E0624DD5-6AA4-4901-A683-133D9EF06750.JPG" target="_blank" style="text-align: center; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; "><img alt="" class="aligncenter" height="333" id="blogsy-1364904200561.4927" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTtLeTqwkG6Q7SHsnv3YwvUyEfszvrQA3b7egzl-pUlKwox6N3kEkev4qJxZMrzFhhpbP5oFRJV6jdJojd2q59n3PTsNhnSoVJdrJ9swdoM43N0wjOh8BlApo2_SET4RAL4uybezoR2Lgu/s500/E0624DD5-6AA4-4901-A683-133D9EF06750.JPG" width="500"></a><p>Just yesterday in my journal, I listed 2 whole pages of worries that I'm praying about. Just yesterday I had 2 shots in the face and tomorrow I have more surgery. I don't say this to gross you out but to say, life isn't always pleasant and none of us are Pollyanna. It isn't easy living life but life is much easier when we learn how to help others and be kind amidst the struggles.</p> <p>The last time I checked the death ratio is 1:1. Everyone will die at least once. And, for me, I truly believe that "where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." We're not put on this planet to serve ourselves but to serve and help others. Even in our pain, we can help others and we should, but it isn't always that easy to do.</p> <p>I guess this is why I'm happiest for Easter. This didn't start out to be an Easter-themed post, and yet, if you're looking for a reason that someone could be happy amidst all of this mess - there it is. I serve a risen Savior and He's alive in me. </p> <p>I welcome all faiths and religions here on this blog and in education and work everyday to include and encourage others. Those of you who know me, however, know that truth and honesty is important. It is what it is. I'll just speak the truth in love as honestly as I know how, while respecting the fact that you can choose what to believe yourself.</p> <p> I may take a break for a few days and not have my typical 4-5 posts this week but I'll be back working hard to inspire all teachers with technology, inspiration, and encouragement to be excellent next week. Meanwhile, Mom just texted me she's leaving the house and I've got to get ready for Day 2.</p> <p>Remember your noble calling, teacher. And know that there are ways you can teach through the struggles of life - people are always watching so live your life in a way worth living. Have a great day and if you're on spring break, enjoy it, and I will too.</p><div style="text-align: right; font-size: small; clear: both;" id="blogsy_footer"><a href="http://blogsyapp.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Written by Vicki Davis, author - Flattening Classrooms, Engaging Minds - Posted with Blogsy from my iPad" height="20" src="http://blogsyapp.com/images/blogsy_footer_icon.png" style="vertical-align: middle; margin-right: 5px;" width="20" />Written by Vicki Davis, author - Flattening Classrooms, Engaging Minds - Posted with Blogsy from my iPad</a></div>

Inspiration 11 ways to be positive when your spring break isn't all you wished for

Yesterday with my eye partially covered with a bandage from the mohs surgery done to remove a skin cancer growth next to my eye, I realized...

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Entries for Microsoft’s Partners in Learning Forum are now open

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The South Africa and Lesotho Microsoft Partners in Learning Forum recognises innovative teachers who are using ICT in engaging ways to enhance teaching and learning. SchoolNet works closely with Microsoft in organising this event which was formerly known as the Innovative Teacher competition.  </span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This competition is aimed at teachers who are using technology to enhance learning activities or as part of project based activities. The Forum rewards creative and dynamic teachers with great prizes and provides them with an opportunity to share their ideas with like-minded teachers. </span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This Slideshare shows you more about the Partners in Learning network, and also gives details on how to enter the competition.</span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="356" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" mozallowfullscreen="" scrolling="no" src="http://www.slideshare.net/slideshow/embed_code/16693300" style="border-width: 1px 1px 0; border: 1px solid #CCC; margin-bottom: 5px;" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="427"> </iframe> <br /><div style="margin-bottom: 5px;"><strong> <a href="http://www.slideshare.net/Schoolnetsa11/the-partners-in-learning-overview-south-africa" target="_blank" title="The Partners in Learning Overview - South Africa">The Partners in Learning Overview - South Africa</a> </strong> from <strong><a href="http://www.slideshare.net/Schoolnetsa11" target="_blank">Schoolnet SA </a></strong> </div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you would like to know more, please read about the event and get more details on our SchoolNet website <a href="http://schoolnet.org.za/">http://schoolnet.org.za</a></span> <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQRa4pw5Q4ihZYYtW5YC-ikYhS479st0-vzgDx9RF3u5QGEyVoXu6kcuaGEV64B3kVcxpCUwt0-hxJnC8MpWGH8OiCm53cSBlOV0D0Lt-1JVjSF8jnusxYKsZH2ovpKgD5JrqbUsV2RJw/s1600-h/image%25255B4%25255D.png"><img alt="image" border="0" height="293" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDIHEDXH5_DERVeBTdP1ccVVkouMfHyEz4mQjPUSftzfOtGzAPTv8NRvF0ySztKlEXjpPYg9fxZukhFv2Ni_qT6zuimH2P049EzDWYv15Lc-4RNn3XKJdOO4ZvH_cQHPYtIZpfst4pJE8/?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border: 0px; display: inline; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="image" width="400" /></a><br /><br /></div>

Microsoft Entries for Microsoft’s Partners in Learning Forum are now open

The South Africa and Lesotho Microsoft Partners in Learning Forum recognises innovative teachers who are using ICT in engaging ways to enhan...

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Hi di hi Clampers!

This morning, when I opened my curtains, I found the clampers (Grrr) having a field day on my street. They had clamped 2 cars and were attaching a Denver Boot to a third. They were so quiet (deviously so) - there will be a nasty surprise for three people as they leave for work this morning.<br /><br />Living so close to Dublin City we have to pay for parking permits. Visitors need to feed the meter to park on our road. One of my friends was clamped on their first visit to my house. Not good <br />:-(<br /><br />Unfortunately I think the clampers are a necessary evil as we live very close to a large rugby stadium and parking would be a nightmare during game times if it was unregulated. <br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRss_LRvbxiQ0uKwsnvNCnictDGHYYhW3S1MGaYi9U7-8mMdAnnEYAoWzEacSA06X_UWFwT4SFk3oARab4hg50j5_wtHYjaWCfLU-NYzgAxvxqmFwvECMLQ4lH8uSCarJEzOc76FUwt0Na/s640/blogger-image--429271780.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRss_LRvbxiQ0uKwsnvNCnictDGHYYhW3S1MGaYi9U7-8mMdAnnEYAoWzEacSA06X_UWFwT4SFk3oARab4hg50j5_wtHYjaWCfLU-NYzgAxvxqmFwvECMLQ4lH8uSCarJEzOc76FUwt0Na/s640/blogger-image--429271780.jpg" /></a></div>

Hi di hi Clampers!

This morning, when I opened my curtains, I found the clampers (Grrr) having a field day on my street. They had clamped 2 cars and were attac...

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‘Glee’ Star Cory Monteith Enters Rehab

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><img alt="gty cory monteith jef 130401 wblog Glee Star Cory Monteith Enters Rehab " src="http://abcnews.go.com/images/Entertainment/gty_cory_monteith_jef_130401_wblog.jpg" /><br /><br /><div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia; font: inherit; line-height: 20px; padding: 15px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">“Glee” star <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/wireStory/rep-glees-monteith-heads-rehab-18851855#.UVmijBnZWUc" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgb(255, 94, 153); color: #30659c; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Cory Monteith</a> has checked into rehab.</div><div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia; font: inherit; line-height: 20px; padding: 15px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">His rep told ABCNews.com that the actor “has voluntarily admitted himself to a treatment facility for substance addiction.”</div><div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia; font: inherit; line-height: 20px; padding: 15px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">“He graciously asks for your respect and privacy as he takes the necessary steps towards recovery,” the rep added in the statement.</div><div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia; font: inherit; line-height: 20px; padding: 15px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">This isn’t the first time the 30-year-old actor, who stars as Finn Hudson on Fox’s music-themed comedy-drama, has been to rehab. In a 2011 interview with Parade magazine, Montieth said he got treatment at 19 for his addiction struggles that included taking “anything and everything.” He told Parade that he was “lucky to be alive.”</div><div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia; font: inherit; line-height: 20px; padding: 15px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">He is currently dating “Glee” co-star Lea Michele. She told People, “I love and support Cory and will stand by him through this.”</div><div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia; font: inherit; line-height: 20px; padding: 15px 0px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">“I am grateful and proud he made this decision,” she said.</div></div>

Glee ‘Glee’ Star Cory Monteith Enters Rehab

“Glee” star  Cory Monteith  has checked into rehab. His rep told ABCNews.com that the actor “has voluntarily admitted himself to a treatment...

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Lollapalooza announces lineup

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br /><h2 class="lead-in" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-style: italic; font-weight: normal; line-height: 27px; margin-left: 60px; margin-top: -2px;">The Killers, Mumford & Sons and The Cure to headline the Chicago music festival.</h2><div class="article-metadata-wrap" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; float: left; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; height: auto; line-height: 22px; margin: 0px 30px 0px 60px; position: relative; z-index: 1;"><aside class="single-photo expandable-collapsed" itemprop="associatedMedia" itemscope="" itemtype="http://schema.org/ImageObject" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 20px; position: relative; width: 180px; z-index: 100;"><div class="image-wrap" style="box-shadow: rgb(200, 200, 200) 1px 1px 5px; cursor: pointer; padding: 3px; position: relative;"><img alt="cure" class="expand-img-horiz" itemprop="url" src="http://www.gannett-cdn.com/media/USATODAY/USATODAY/2013/04/01/cure1-4_3_r536_c534.jpg?1b79b3da202957124496e3768cfb7b67cdb10c81" style="border: 0px; max-width: 100%; min-height: 131px; vertical-align: middle;" /><span class="toggle" style="background-image: url(http://www.gannett-cdn.com/static/images/sprites/asset-sprite.png?1362424877); background-position: 0% 0%; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; bottom: 0px; height: 21px; position: absolute; right: 0px; width: 21px; z-index: 200;"></span></div><div class="image-credit-wrap" style="color: #646464; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; font-weight: 700; line-height: 16px; margin-top: 6px; padding: 0px 5px 0px 0px;"><span class="credit" style="font-style: italic; font-weight: 400;">(Photo: David Wolff, Getty Images)</span></div></aside><div class="article-metadata" style="position: relative;"><aside class="comp story-highlights " style="clear: left; float: left; margin: 0px 0px 20px; min-height: 60px; position: relative; width: 180px; z-index: 1;"><h3 class="hlts" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(212, 212, 212); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-bottom-width: 1px; color: #999999; font-family: 'Futura Today Bold', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font-weight: 400; line-height: 25px; margin: 0px auto; text-transform: uppercase;">STORY HIGHLIGHTS</h3><ul class="hlt" style="color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; left: 0px; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; position: relative; z-index: 0;"><li class="hlt-item" style="background-image: url(http://www.gannett-cdn.com/static/images/components/story_highlights_bullets.png?1362424877); background-position: 0px 17px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-bottom-color: rgb(212, 212, 212); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-bottom-width: 1px; color: #646464; font-size: 12px; font-weight: 700; line-height: 16px; padding: 12px 0px 12px 15px;">Lollapalooza returns Aug. 2-4 to Chicago's Grant Park for its ninth year</li><li class="hlt-item" style="background-image: url(http://www.gannett-cdn.com/static/images/components/story_highlights_bullets.png?1362424877); background-position: 0px 17px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-bottom-color: rgb(212, 212, 212); border-bottom-style: dotted; border-bottom-width: 1px; color: #646464; font-size: 12px; font-weight: 700; line-height: 16px; padding: 12px 0px 12px 15px;">The Cure will perform for the first time in the fest's 22-year history</li><li class="hlt-item" style="background-image: url(http://www.gannett-cdn.com/static/images/components/story_highlights_bullets.png?1362424877); background-position: 0px 17px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border: 0px; color: #646464; font-size: 12px; font-weight: 700; line-height: 16px; padding: 12px 0px 12px 15px;">The National, New Order, Nine Inch Nails, Vampire Weekend and The Lumineers are also set to perform</li></ul></aside></div></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 60px;">No need to call a plumber — all Lollapalooza lineup leaks have been officially plugged up. This list is airtight.</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 60px;">The Killers, Mumford & Sons and, for the first time, The Cure, will headline the three-day event (Aug. 2-4) in Chicago's Grant Park.</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 60px;">"The first time I ran into Robert Smith of The Cure was 1997 in New York City," festival founder and Jane's Addiction frontman Perry Farrell says in a media release. "It was Halloween. I was dressed as myself and so was he. I am so happy The Cure have finally arrived at Lolla in Chicago!"</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 60px;">Also confirmed to play: Nine Inch Nails, Phoenix, the Postal Service, Vampire Weekend, New Order, Queens of the Stone Age, The Lumineers and The National. Nine Inch Nails, which played the first Lollapalooza in 1991, will be on tour this summer following a four-year hiatus.</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 60px;">Other artists in the 130-band lineup include Kendrick Lamar, Eric Church, Ellie Goulding, Thievery Corporation, Grizzly Bear, Lana Del Rey, Band of Horses, Hot Chip, Azealia Banks, Local Natives and Two Door Cinema Club.</div><div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 60px;">The full lineup follows. You're welcome.</div></div>

Lollapalooza Lollapalooza announces lineup

The Killers, Mumford & Sons and The Cure to headline the Chicago music festival. (Photo: David Wolff, Getty Images) STORY HIGHLIGHTS Lol...

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Yankees’ Patchwork Lineup Is No Match for Red Sox

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><img src="http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2013/04/02/sports/02yankees2_cnd/02yankees2_cnd-articleLarge.jpg" /><br /><br /><div class="articleBody" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 1.7em; margin-top: 1.5em;"><nyt_text><div class="emActive emReady" data-key="YfwYfw" data-num="0" data-sentences="1" itemprop="articleBody" style="color: black; font-size: 1.5em; line-height: 1.467em;"><span data-num="1" style="background-color: #f2f4f5;"><a class="meta-org" href="http://topics.nytimes.com/top/news/sports/baseball/majorleague/newyorkyankees/index.html?inline=nyt-org" style="color: #666699;" title="Recent news and scores about the New York Yankees.">Yankees</a> fans waited five cold months for their team to come back to the Bronx and play baseball again, ever since a humiliating loss to the Detroit Tigers in the playoffs last October</span>.</div></nyt_text></div><div class="articleInline runaroundLeft" style="background-color: white; clear: left; color: #333333; display: inline; float: left; font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin: 6px 15px 10px 0px !important; width: 190px;"><div class="columnGroup doubleRule" style="background-color: transparent; background-image: url(http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/global/borders/doubleRule.gif); background-position: 0% 0%; background-repeat: repeat no-repeat; border-width: 0px !important; clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 10px; margin-right: 7px; padding-top: 12px; width: auto !important;"></div></div><div class="articleInline runaroundLeft collectionHeader" style="background-color: white; clear: left; color: #333333; display: inline; float: left; font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin: 6px 15px 10px 0px !important; width: 190px;"><h6 class="sectionHeader flushBottom" style="color: black; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.4em; line-height: 1.2857em; margin-bottom: 0px !important; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Multimedia</h6></div><div class="articleInline runaroundLeft firstArticleInline" style="background-color: white; clear: left; color: #333333; display: inline; float: left; font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px !important; margin-left: 0px !important; margin-right: 15px !important; margin-top: 0px; width: 190px;"><div class="story" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px;"><div class="wideThumb" style="margin-bottom: 4px; width: 190px;"><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2013/04/02/sports/02openingday_ss.html?ref=baseball" style="color: #666699; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="" border="0" height="126" src="http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2013/04/02/sports/02openingday_ss-slide-H03W/02openingday_ss-slide-H03W-thumbWide.jpg" style="border: none; display: block;" width="190" /><span class="mediaOverlay slideshow" style="background-image: url(http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/icons/multimedia/photo_icon.gif); background-position: 4px 4px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; color: black; cursor: pointer; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.1em; line-height: 1.182em; margin-top: -20px; opacity: 0.8; padding: 3px 4px 4px 20px;">Slide Show</span></a></div><h6 style="color: black; font-size: 1.2em; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.25em; margin: 0px;"><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2013/04/02/sports/02openingday_ss.html?ref=baseball" style="color: #666699; text-decoration: none;">Opening Day: Yankees and Mets</a></h6><h6 class="byline" style="color: grey; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1em; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.2em; margin: 2px 0px 0px;"></h6></div></div><div class="articleInline runaroundLeft" style="background-color: white; clear: left; color: #333333; display: inline; float: left; font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px !important; margin-left: 0px !important; margin-right: 15px !important; margin-top: 0px; width: 190px;"><div class="articleInline runaroundLeft" style="clear: left; display: inline; float: left; margin: 6px 15px 10px 0px !important; width: 190px;"></div><div class="columnGroup doubleRule" style="background-color: transparent; background-image: url(http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/global/borders/doubleRule.gif); background-position: 0% 0%; background-repeat: repeat no-repeat; border-width: 0px !important; clear: both; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 10px; margin-right: 7px; padding-top: 12px; width: auto !important;"><h3 class="sectionHeader" style="color: black; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.4em; line-height: 1.2857em; margin: 0px 0px 8px;">Related</h3><ul class="headlinesOnly multiline flush" style="list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px;"><li style="background-image: none; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-size: 1.2em; line-height: 1.25em; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px;"><h6 style="color: black; font-size: 1em; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.25em; margin: 0px;"><a href="http://bats.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/04/01/live-analysis-opening-day-yankees-mets/?ref=baseball" style="color: #666699; font-size: 1em; text-decoration: none;">Bats: Opening Day Ups and Downs for Yankees and Mets</a>(April 1, 2013)</h6></li></ul></div><div class="doubleRule" style="background-color: transparent; background-image: url(http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/global/borders/doubleRule.gif); background-position: 0% 0%; background-repeat: repeat no-repeat; border-width: 0px !important; clear: both; margin-bottom: 12px; padding-top: 12px;"><div class="story" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 8px;"><h5 style="color: black; font-size: 1.2em; line-height: 1.25em; margin: 0px;"><a href="http://bats.blogs.nytimes.com/" style="color: #666699; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="Bats" height="24" src="http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/blogs/bats/bats163.gif" style="border: none;" width="163" /></a></h5><div class="runaroundRight" style="clear: right; display: inline; float: right; margin: 2px 0px 6px 6px;"><a href="http://bats.blogs.nytimes.com/" style="color: #666699; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="" height="75" src="http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/blogs/bats/bats75a.gif" style="border: none;" width="75" /></a></div><div class="summary" style="font-size: 1.2em; line-height: 1.25em; margin-bottom: 5px;">Keep up with the latest news on The Times's baseball blog.</div><div class="refer" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.1em; line-height: 1.182em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 2px;"><a href="http://bats.blogs.nytimes.com/?8dpc" style="color: #666699; text-decoration: none;">Go to the Bats Blog</a></div></div><div class="doubleRuleDivider" style="background-color: transparent; background-image: url(http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/global/borders/doubleRule.gif); background-position: 0% 0%; background-repeat: repeat no-repeat; border-width: 0px !important; clear: both; height: 4px; line-height: 0; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-top: 12px; overflow: hidden;"></div><h3 class="sectionHeader" style="color: black; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.4em; line-height: 1.2857em; margin: 0px 0px 8px;">Major League Baseball</h3><ul style="list-style: none; margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding-left: 0px;"><li style="background-image: url(http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/misc/bullet4x4.gif); background-position: 0% 0.45em; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; font-size: 1.2em; line-height: 1.25em; padding: 0px 0px 0px 8px;"><a href="http://nytimes.stats.com/mlb/scoreboard.asp" style="color: #666699; font-size: 1em; text-decoration: none;">Live Scoreboard</a></li><li style="background-image: url(http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/misc/bullet4x4.gif); background-position: 0% 0.45em; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; font-size: 1.2em; line-height: 1.25em; padding: 0px 0px 0px 8px;"><a href="http://nytimes.stats.com/mlb/standings.asp" style="color: #666699; font-size: 1em; text-decoration: none;">Standings</a> | <a href="http://nytimes.stats.com/mlb/standings_wildcard.asp" style="color: #666699; font-size: 1em; text-decoration: none;">Wild Card</a></li><li style="background-image: url(http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/misc/bullet4x4.gif); background-position: 0% 0.45em; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; font-size: 1.2em; line-height: 1.25em; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 8px;"><a href="http://nytimes.stats.com/mlb/index.asp" style="color: #666699; font-size: 1em; text-decoration: none;">Stats</a> | <a href="http://nytimes.stats.com/mlb/stats.asp?file=recentinj" style="color: #666699; font-size: 1em; text-decoration: none;">Injuries</a></li></ul><h3 class="sectionHeader" style="color: black; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.4em; line-height: 1.2857em; margin: 0px 0px 8px;">Yankees</h3><ul style="list-style: none; margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding-left: 0px;"><li style="background-image: url(http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/misc/bullet4x4.gif); background-position: 0% 0.45em; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; font-size: 1.2em; line-height: 1.25em; padding: 0px 0px 0px 8px;"><a href="http://nytimes.stats.com/mlb/teamreports.asp?tm=10&report=schedule" style="color: #666699; font-size: 1em; text-decoration: none;">Schedule/Results</a></li><li style="background-image: url(http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/misc/bullet4x4.gif); background-position: 0% 0.45em; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; font-size: 1.2em; line-height: 1.25em; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 8px;"><a href="http://nytimes.stats.com/mlb/teamreports.asp?tm=10&report=roster" style="color: #666699; font-size: 1em; text-decoration: none;">Roster</a> | <a href="http://nytimes.stats.com/mlb/teamreports.asp?tm=10&report=stats" style="color: #666699; font-size: 1em; text-decoration: none;">Stats</a></li></ul><h3 class="sectionHeader" style="color: black; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.4em; line-height: 1.2857em; margin: 0px 0px 8px;">Mets</h3><ul style="list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px;"><li style="background-image: url(http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/misc/bullet4x4.gif); background-position: 0% 0.45em; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; font-size: 1.2em; line-height: 1.25em; padding: 0px 0px 0px 8px;"><a href="http://nytimes.stats.com/mlb/teamreports.asp?tm=21&report=schedule" style="color: #666699; font-size: 1em; text-decoration: none;">Schedule/Results</a></li><li style="background-image: url(http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/misc/bullet4x4.gif); background-position: 0% 0.45em; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; font-size: 1.2em; line-height: 1.25em; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 8px;"><a href="http://nytimes.stats.com/mlb/teamreports.asp?tm=21&report=roster" style="color: #666699; font-size: 1em; text-decoration: none;">Roster</a> | <a href="http://nytimes.stats.com/mlb/teamreports.asp?tm=21&report=stats" style="color: #666699; font-size: 1em; text-decoration: none;">Stats</a></li></ul></div></div><div class="articleBody" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', times, serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 1.7em; margin-top: 1.5em;"><div data-key="OdiOdi" data-num="1" itemprop="articleBody" style="color: black; font-size: 1.5em; line-height: 1.467em; margin-bottom: 1em;">Opening day is supposed to be a time of hope and renewal for a promising new season, but the Yankees carried the heavy burden of low expectations north from spring training, and nothing that happened Monday contradicted those projections.</div><div data-key="FodFod" data-num="2" itemprop="articleBody" style="color: black; font-size: 1.5em; line-height: 1.467em; margin-bottom: 1em;">For one day, at least, all the early predictions of doom came true for the Yankees, who were soundly beaten, 8-2, by their old rivals, the <a class="meta-org" href="http://topics.nytimes.com/top/news/sports/baseball/majorleague/bostonredsox/index.html?inline=nyt-org" style="color: #666699;" title="Recent news and scores about the Boston Red Sox.">Boston Red Sox</a>, at Yankee Stadium in their 111th opening day.</div><div data-key="AeaAea" data-num="3" itemprop="articleBody" style="color: black; font-size: 1.5em; line-height: 1.467em; margin-bottom: 1em;">As early as the seventh inning, with the Yankees being thrashed and a cold wind spitting rain in the faces of shivering fans, there was no hesitation to bolt for the exits.</div><div data-key="TfhYMJ" data-num="4" itemprop="articleBody" style="color: black; font-size: 1.5em; line-height: 1.467em; margin-bottom: 1em;">The fans had seen enough, and by the thousands they streamed out, convinced that their team could not weather this particular storm well. Yankees Manager Joe Girardi cited the raw conditions and the prospect of school the next morning, but a new Yankee, Vernon Wells, cited a more apt reason for the mass evacuation.</div><div data-key="AteIdb" data-num="5" itemprop="articleBody" style="color: black; font-size: 1.5em; line-height: 1.467em; margin-bottom: 1em;">“At the end, it was ugly out, on the field and off,” he said. “I don’t blame them for heading home a little early.”</div><div data-key="TdaTda" data-num="6" itemprop="articleBody" style="color: black; font-size: 1.5em; line-height: 1.467em; margin-bottom: 1em;">The day actually began in brilliant sunshine and 62 degrees in front of a capacity crowd announced at 49,514, the largest attendance at a home opener in the five years of the new Yankee Stadium.</div><div data-key="BitBit" data-num="7" itemprop="articleBody" style="color: black; font-size: 1.5em; line-height: 1.467em; margin-bottom: 1em;">But in the later innings, when it became clear that the Yankees’ patchwork offense would not make much of a dent against Red Sox pitching, and the storm front hovered overhead, the stands emptied, leaving behind a swirl of trash on the field.</div><div data-key="IIaIIa" data-num="8" itemprop="articleBody" style="color: black; font-size: 1.5em; line-height: 1.467em; margin-bottom: 1em;">“If I’m a fan and it starts to rain, I go away, too,” said Francisco Cervelli, who knocked in the Yankees’ only two runs with a single in the fourth.</div><div data-key="TehTeh" data-num="9" itemprop="articleBody" style="color: black; font-size: 1.5em; line-height: 1.467em; margin-bottom: 1em;">The exodus had as much to do with the score as the cold rain.</div><div data-key="TRSHfv" data-num="10" itemprop="articleBody" style="color: black; font-size: 1.5em; line-height: 1.467em; margin-bottom: 1em;">The Red Sox pounced on Yankees starter C. C. Sabathia for four runs in the second inning and never trailed. To see Sabathia get knocked about in that one inning was sobering, as even he could not save the day. His fastball velocity was only about 91 miles per hour, but he said that his surgically repaired elbow felt fine and that he expected to build arm strength and raise the speed of his pitches over the next few starts.</div><div data-key="AyaNsg" data-num="11" itemprop="articleBody" style="color: black; font-size: 1.5em; line-height: 1.467em; margin-bottom: 1em;">A year ago, Sabathia might have won anyway in front of the Yankees’ potent offense. Instead, they lost an opening day home game for the first time since 1982, a span of 11 games. Not surprisingly, given the lineup, they failed to hit a home run on opening day for the first time in 14 years, ending a major league record streak.</div><div data-key="WotWot" data-num="12" itemprop="articleBody" style="color: black; font-size: 1.5em; line-height: 1.467em; margin-bottom: 1em;">With only two players from last year’s opening day lineup, and six players making their Yankees debuts, the Yankees managed six hits, five of them singles.</div><div data-key="IwaIwa" data-num="13" itemprop="articleBody" style="color: black; font-size: 1.5em; line-height: 1.467em; margin-bottom: 1em;">It was a disappointing outcome for a day that began with a mixture of dread resulting from all the Yankees injuries, and the hope that a solid pitching staff could see the Yankees through the lean times.</div><div data-key="DJMDJM" data-num="14" itemprop="articleBody" style="color: black; font-size: 1.5em; line-height: 1.467em; margin-bottom: 1em;">Derek Jeter, Mark Teixeira, Curtis Granderson and <a class="meta-per" href="http://topics.nytimes.com/top/reference/timestopics/people/r/alex_rodriguez/index.html?inline=nyt-per" style="color: #666699;" title="More articles about Alex Rodriguez.">Alex Rodriguez</a>, four of the team’s biggest stars, are all out with injuries.</div><div data-key="AymWhi" data-num="15" itemprop="articleBody" style="color: black; font-size: 1.5em; line-height: 1.467em; margin-bottom: 1em;">“Anytime you’re missing those guys, you’re talking about some of the best players in the game — it’s going to be a little bit different,” Sabathia said. “But we know what we have to do and who’s not here. That’s not an excuse. We’ve had injuries last year and the year before.”</div><div data-key="AttBdn" data-num="16" itemprop="articleBody" style="color: black; font-size: 1.5em; line-height: 1.467em; margin-bottom: 1em;">At the theater, when a star actor is absent from a day’s performance, an insert announcing the changes to the cast is included in Playbill magazine. Baseball does not do that, but playing the role of Jeter on Monday was the backup shortstop Eduardo Nunez, and the understudy for Granderson was Wells.</div><div data-key="JNsYwh" data-num="17" itemprop="articleBody" style="color: black; font-size: 1.5em; line-height: 1.467em; margin-bottom: 1em;">Jayson Nix started at third base in place of Kevin Youkilis, who began the day at first base because the lefty Lyle Overbay, signed only last week, was not going to be in the starting lineup against Jon Lester. Youkilis, who had the Yankees’ only extra base hit, a fourth-inning double, <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/15/sports/baseball/yankees-introduce-kevin-youkilis-their-third-baseman-for-now.html?_r=1&" style="color: #666699;">was signed</a> to a one-year, $12 million contract in the off-season to replace Rodriguez.</div><div data-key="AhiHdn" data-num="18" itemprop="articleBody" style="color: black; font-size: 1.5em; line-height: 1.467em; margin-bottom: 1em;">A hip injury has Rodriguez on the disabled list. He did not spend one day at spring training, but he showed up Monday and watched parts of the game from the bench, though he chose not to be introduced before the game.</div><div data-key="TgiSfi" data-num="19" itemprop="articleBody" style="color: black; font-size: 1.5em; line-height: 1.467em; margin-bottom: 1em;">The game itself was rather unremarkable, except for a smattering of fans rooting for the Red Sox. Sabathia fell into trouble early, and the Yankees had very few opportunities to tie it.</div><div data-key="TitTsi" data-num="20" itemprop="articleBody" style="color: black; font-size: 1.5em; line-height: 1.467em; margin-bottom: 1em;">Trailing, 5-2, in the bottom of the seventh, the Yankees had their best chance with runners at first and second and no one out. But Nunez, Robinson Cano and Youkilis all struck out against Boston’s bullpen. The stadium immediately fell into an eerie silence, reminiscent of the one in the next-to-last game at the Stadium last October when Jeter broke his ankle.</div><div class="emReady" data-key="TwiTYh" data-num="21" data-sentences="2" itemprop="articleBody" style="color: black; font-size: 1.5em; line-height: 1.467em; margin-bottom: 1em;"><span data-num="1">That was in the 12th inning of Game 1 of the American League Championship Series, more than five months ago.</span> <span data-num="2">The Yankees have yet to win a true game since</span></div></div></div>

Patchwork Lineup Yankees Yankees’ Patchwork Lineup Is No Match for Red Sox

Yankees  fans waited five cold months for their team to come back to the Bronx and play baseball again, ever since a humiliating loss to the...

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The best and worst of 2013 MLB giveaways

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><script src="http://player.espn.com/player.js?&playerBrandingId=4ef8000cbaf34c1687a7d9a26fe0e89e&pcode=1kNG061cgaoolOncv54OAO1ceO-I&width=576&height=324&externalId=espn:9120405&thruParam_espn-ui[autoPlay]=false&thruParam_espn-ui[playRelatedExternally]=true"></script><script src="http://player.espn.com/player.js?&playerBrandingId=4ef8000cbaf34c1687a7d9a26fe0e89e&pcode=1kNG061cgaoolOncv54OAO1ceO-I&width=576&height=324&externalId=espn:9120405&thruParam_espn-ui[autoPlay]=false&thruParam_espn-ui[playRelatedExternally]=true"></script> <br /><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">Woooo! Baseball! </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">Woooo! Free stuff at baseball games. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">As connoisseurs of free things, we went through every major league baseball team’s 2013 promotions and giveaways calendar to find you the best and worst of this season’s loot and events. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">May your 2013 baseball season be one of getting the finest free crap. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><br /><h3 style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.2em; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">WORST 2013 MLB GIVEAWAYS AND PROMOTIONS</h3><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Ryan Howard Whiffle Ball Set -- April 7</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">When the entire fan base is concerned that Howard has lost the power of his prime, maybe giving away a bat with his name on it and a ball that can’t be hit farther than 150 feet isn’t the best idea. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Mets Drawstring Bag – April 7</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">Drawstring bags have long pieces of rope. Long pieces of rope should never be made available to Mets fans. If a fan harms himself or herself, the Mets are liable. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Miguel Cabrera Bobblehead -- April 10</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">The head looks right, but the body is </span><a href="http://mlb.mlb.com/det/images/promotions/y2013/cabreramini_lg.jpg" style="border: 0px; color: rgb(96, 143, 214) !important; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="new">Cabrera circa Marlins 2003</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">A.J. Burnett T-Shirt -- April 12</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">Last season the Pirates had a postgame Daughtry concert. </span><a href="http://pittsburgh.pirates.mlb.com/pit/images/promotions/y2013/tshirt_0412_175x175.jpg" style="border: 0px; color: rgb(96, 143, 214) !important; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="new">This is the Daughtry of T-shirts</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8896966065785019252" name="more" style="border: 0px; color: #225db7; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></a><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Rockies “Win Lose Rain Shine” T-Shirt -- April 15</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">Seems like the Rockies </span><a href="http://mlb.mlb.com/col/images/promos/y2013/tshirt_180x223.jpg" style="border: 0px; color: rgb(96, 143, 214) !important; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="new">are shooting for .500 this year</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">. Or not. Whatever. Win, lose, rain, shine. Que sera. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">White Sox Puzzle Cube -- April 20</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">As though being a baseball fan in Chicago isn’t maddening enough, now we have to torment 10,000 kids with a </span><a href="http://www.mlb.com/cws/images/promotions/y2013/puzzle_cube_200.jpg" style="border: 0px; color: rgb(96, 143, 214) !important; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="new">White Sox-themed Rubik’s Cube</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">? </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Mets Dog Bandana -- April 20</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">We pull our dogs around with leashes, feed them table scraps and make them go to the bathroom outside. But putting Mets paraphernalia on them is going too far. It’s simply not humane. We can treat animals better than this. We must. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Joe Maddon Gnome -- April 24</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">It turns out </span><a href="http://tampabay.rays.mlb.com/tb/images/promo/y2013/gnome_300x300.gif" style="border: 0px; color: rgb(96, 143, 214) !important; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="new">a bespectacled gnome</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> is even creepier than a regular gnome. Good to know. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Giants Announcers Bottle Stoppers -- May 11</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">Who wants </span><a href="http://sanfrancisco.giants.mlb.com/sf/images/promos/y2013/promo_0511.jpg" style="border: 0px; color: rgb(96, 143, 214) !important; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="new">these guys’ butts</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> in your wine? Not me. Probably not you. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Giancarlo Stanton Arm Sleeve -- June 2</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">The 17 fans at Marlins Park will find it pretty awkward when they’re handed a Giancarlo Stanton arm sleeve six weeks after he’s been traded for cash. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Cleveland Indians Fireworks Night: Bon Jovi Theme -- June 22</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">Bon Jovi-themed fireworks at a Phillies, Yankees or Mets game is one thing, but at an Indians game? Come on, Cleveland. You can do better. We hope. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Cardinals Replica 2011 World Series Game 7 Ticket -- June 23</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">Bad idea. Now everyone at this game will get to pretend they were at Game 7 of the 2011 World Series. “Really! I was there! Don’t believe me? I even have my ticket! David Freese gave me a high-five!” </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Joe Mauer/Justin Morneau Double Bobblehead -- July 19</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">Don’t take this out of the box. It will break immediately. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Cubs Toiletry Bag -- August 16</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">Always bring your Cubs Toiletry Bag to Wrigley Field, as Wrigley Field is </span><a href="http://espn.go.com/blog/playbook/fandom/post/_/id/12398/bwrigley-is-the-grossest-filthiest-ballpark-ever" style="border: 0px; color: rgb(96, 143, 214) !important; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="new">like a big toilet</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><h3 style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.2em; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">BEST 2013 MLB GIVEAWAYS AND PROMOTIONS</h3><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Cubs Texting Gloves -- April 11</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">“Cubs lost. Don’t care. Drunk.” </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Yankees Flower Seed Packet Night -- April 18</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">Watch as these beautiful flowers come to life, grow and bloom. It will be a great distraction from the rotting, death and misery that will be 2013 New York Yankees baseball. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Twins Rain Gauge -- April 22</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">First they lose the dome, now they’re giving away rain gauges. They Twins organization has really embraced precipitation. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Justin Verlander Bobblehead -- April 24</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">You can’t go wrong with a bobblehead giveaway of a big star. Although people would probably much prefer if this came with a Kate Upton figurine. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Mariners Beards Hat Night -- April 26</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><a href="http://seattle.mariners.mlb.com/sea/images/promotions/y2013/promo_0426.jpg" style="border: 0px; color: rgb(96, 143, 214) !important; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="new">The picture</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> is better than any words that could go here. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Ryan Braun Bobblehead Presented by Wisconsin Milk Marketing Board -- May 26</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">See, guys. The only performance enhancer Ryan Braun has ever gotten near is delicious and nutritious Wisconsin milk! Nothing to see here! </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Minnesota Twins Wine, Women and Baseball -- May 30, June 28, Aug. 12</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">This is a women’s night featuring a pregame wine tasting at a nearby hotel. But the single men of the Twin Cities should circle these games on their calendars, too. The stadium will be full of female wine drinkers who like sports. No dating site has ever pre-selected the perfect woman this well. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Coco Crisp Cereal Bowl -- June 2</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">The fact that it took until the 12th year of Coco Crisp’s career for a team to have </span><a href="http://oakland.athletics.mlb.com/oak/images/schedule/y2013/promotions/150x150_coco_bowl.jpg" style="border: 0px; color: rgb(96, 143, 214) !important; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="new">Coco Crisp cereal bowl</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> giveaway is evidence that America is in decline. Credit to Billy Beane’s A’s for doing this, though. He’s not known as a top GM for nothing. He noticed a cereal bowl market inefficiency and exploited it. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Carlos Ruiz Bobblehead -- June 4</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">Good job by the Phillies giving out a Carlos Ruiz bobblehead </span><i style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">after</i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> his PED suspension ends. That’s Baseball Promotions 101. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Don Sutton Bobblehead -- June 6</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">The Dodgers unfortunately have not yet provided a picture of the Sutton bobblehead, but</span><a href="http://tomatonation.com/media/DonSutton2-300x210.jpg" style="border: 0px; color: rgb(96, 143, 214) !important; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="new">this is what he looked like</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> during his playing career. So if you are a bobblehead collector and have yet to own one featuring a man with permed hair, get to Dodger Stadium on June 6. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Mike Trout Fish Hat -- June 18</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><a href="http://losangeles.angels.mlb.com/ana/images/promotions/y2013/trout_fishhat_promo.jpg" style="border: 0px; color: rgb(96, 143, 214) !important; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="new">It’s a baseball hat with a fish sticking out of it</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">. You know, because of his name? He’s a baseball player and his name is Trout? Like the kind of fish? Ah, never mind. Subtlety is lost on some people. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Cardinals 1926 Championship Beer Stein -- June 21</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">In many cities, it would be unwise to arm 40,000 fans with a hunk of glass. But Cardinals fans are good people. They have never tried to kill anyone with a beer stein, as far as we know. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Yankees Old-Timers' Day -- June 23</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">Sometimes the jokes just write themselves. And then when those jokes get old, Brian Cashman signs them. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Yankees Car Air Freshener -- July 11</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">Fans could hang them in their car. But it might be smarter to hang them around Yankee Stadium to get the stink out. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Chicago Bulls Night -- Aug. 6</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">A baseball game on Aug. 6 is probably the day Derrick Rose finally returns. A little late for the Bulls perhaps, but it might sell a few extra White Sox tickets. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">John Kruk Action Figure -- Aug. 23</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">Kruk once said: “I’m not an athlete, I’m a professional baseball player.” Now he has an action figure. The Phillies haven’t released a photo of it yet. Probably because they’re trying to figure out how to sculpt an oxymoron. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Houston Astros Batting Practice Replica Jersey -- Aug. 31</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">This is your big chance. Just slip one of these on, sneak onto the field, take batting practice, wow the coaches with your ability to hit the ball out of the infield, become a real member of the Houston Astros and bat cleanup in that day’s game! </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Willie McGee Replica Jersey -- Sept. 7 </b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"></span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">Remember, to properly wear your Willie McGee jersey, you have to constantly </span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7dV8skf36Nb-KEVHbglqX22_aKnbM8f-F8NS9ejsoR7Po_MNLcbTHbNysLrbxtfIaVjpbdLhzi5lPG_jeS3BvVGgLZde9g7FaY5UhU3XBdGZ9nWGYvB36Ov_eqxJHiibUdCABUjDsIgmx/s1600/willie.jpg" style="border: 0px; color: rgb(96, 143, 214) !important; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="new">make a face like this</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">. </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><b style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Cubs Zubazpalooza -- Sept. 23</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"> </span><br /><br style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">What’s the only way to get people to attend a late-September Cubs-Pirates game? Zubaz, obviously. This is how the Cubs keep getting fans losing season after losing season. They’re marketing geniuses.</span></div></div>

mlb The best and worst of 2013 MLB giveaways

Woooo! Baseball!  Woooo! Free stuff at baseball games.  As connoisseurs of free things, we went through every major league baseball team’s ...

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OMG! More Onion-Like Headlines?

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Hola y’all! I got nothing. So, that means it’s time for another round of Headlines. Please try to hold down the excitement!<br /><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">- Area woman pretends to fall for husband’s April Fool’s joke for 27^th consecutive year. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">- Retiring yoga instructor says his biggest professional failure was to never be named as “the other man” in any of his female student’s divorces. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">- Hitler’s grandson says he’s tired of having his grandfather compared to Barack Obama. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP5_gi1YgcEtDj_sI-A_ZkOElg68VtwNPu5cQGPa2Rz6B9qcMP1DfNBVSZBsVMOVdDB8WgSLJq2DyUTCGSHCGGRmoU_h07Rg8eUjqAo2uP0PHwMjkotLCWqVytFN6XWPV91EaxagSKfPw/s1600/sad+cubs+fan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP5_gi1YgcEtDj_sI-A_ZkOElg68VtwNPu5cQGPa2Rz6B9qcMP1DfNBVSZBsVMOVdDB8WgSLJq2DyUTCGSHCGGRmoU_h07Rg8eUjqAo2uP0PHwMjkotLCWqVytFN6XWPV91EaxagSKfPw/s320/sad+cubs+fan.jpg" width="241" /></a>- Chicago Cubs optimistic that this will be their best and most exciting last place team in years.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">- City passes ordinance requiring anyone hired to operate an ice cream truck pre-emptively register as a sex offender too. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">- In an effort to convince guard Aaron Craft to return for his senior season at Ohio State, Coach Thad Matta has convinced school officials to allow Craft to start up a White Power Club. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">- Group of Senators and Congressmen with shady pasts get together to stop universal background checks. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">- Entire nation loses its shit over gruesome injury suffered by basketball player they’ve never heard of and playing in a game they weren’t watching. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">- Baseball fan in Pittsburg falls for the old “It’s opening day and everyone is in first place” line again even though he knows it’s bullshit. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">- Obama admin sends warships, bombers, subs and nuclear capable aircraft to South Korea because he says “We just want to put them in a place where we won’t lose them.” <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">- Alaska Rep Don Young forced to stay late after congressional business to write “I will not use the word ‘wetbacks’ again” on the chalkboard 500 times. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">- Fox baseball analyst Tim McCarver says he will retire after this season. “I just can’t be a part of game that refuses to award an RBI to a player who hits into a double-play even though a run scores. I mean a GODDAMN RUN SCORES, RIGHT?” he said “And the guy DID hit the ball with a bat, right? So? Why no RUN BATTED IN? So fucking stupid!” <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">Okay, that’s enough of those. I can’t use up all my funny in one past ya know! <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="mailto:Jayman3768@gmail.com">Jayman3768@gmail.com</a><br /><a href="http://www.twitter.com/jayman_iws" target="_blank">@Jayman_IWS </a><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">BTW, you really should check out “<a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/im-with-stupid/2013/03/31/christs-coming-out-party" target="_blank">Christ’s Coming Out Party</a>” on I’m With Stupid. We covered all kinds of stuff like what Jesus might have been doing while he was in that cave for three days, Jon Hamm’s HUGE package, music from Buddy Acapella, Guy’s interview of the Easter Bunny and on and on and on! <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><object classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.adobe.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=9,0,0,0" height="105" id="143577" name="143577" width="210"><param name="movie" value="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/btrplayer.swf?file=http://www.blogtalkradio.com%2Fplaylist.aspx%3Fshow_id%3D4618007&autostart=false&bufferlength=5&volume=80&corner=rounded&callback=http://www.blogtalkradio.com/flashplayercallback.aspx" /><param name="quality" value="high" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><param name="menu" value="false" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><embed src="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/btrplayer.swf" flashvars="file=http://www.blogtalkradio.com%2Fplaylist.aspx%3Fshow_id%3D4618007&autostart=false&shuffle=false&callback=http://www.blogtalkradio.com/FlashPlayerCallback.aspx&width=210&height=105&volume=80&corner=rounded" width="210" height="105" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" quality="high" wmode="transparent" menu="false" name="143577" id="143577" allowScriptAccess="always"></embed></object><br /><div style="font-size: 10px; text-align: center; width: 220px;">Listen to <a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/">internet radio</a> with <a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/im-with-stupid">Im With Stupid</a> on Blog Talk Radio<br /><br /><br /></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div></div>

OMG! More Onion-Like Headlines?

Hola y’all! I got nothing. So, that means it’s time for another round of Headlines. Please try to hold down the excitement! - Area woman pre...

Read more »