Cold Jokes are as Dry as They are Weary

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQQRi9q1kg3_T0bjTpxyxBvOmlFhJGXDNajaK1IcK4PRRw6YFF2bFkBQd9RqHhb2p6Qp0XMnMR8gfHqFMXbv64st3wOEJQpBfoZd-O9-w9xIQNSuQLDKMdjno9Yb0_KIqy9rvW4yUXoMc3/s1600/Miss-Universe-Venezuela-2014-Migbelis-Castellanos-Romero+Hot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="392" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQQRi9q1kg3_T0bjTpxyxBvOmlFhJGXDNajaK1IcK4PRRw6YFF2bFkBQd9RqHhb2p6Qp0XMnMR8gfHqFMXbv64st3wOEJQpBfoZd-O9-w9xIQNSuQLDKMdjno9Yb0_KIqy9rvW4yUXoMc3/s1600/Miss-Universe-Venezuela-2014-Migbelis-Castellanos-Romero+Hot.jpg" width="400" /></a>Happy Hump Day ladies and gentlemen…Matt-Man here with some not so funny stand-up comedic type jokes for ya…<br /><br />Unless you live in the desert southwest and/or the fucking tip of Florida, you know that of late, it has been colder than Ann Coulter’s pussy.<br /><br />Yeah, I said that…so in honor of the Polar Vortex that has gripped the nation, here are some, <i>“It’s so cold outside…” </i>jokes…<br /><br />From Tiffany…<i>“It’s so cold outside, I should wear socks.”</i>  Ha Ha…Floridians are so damn funny.<br /><br />From my wake-up buddy Amy…<i>“It’s so cold outside, I peed an icicle.”</i>  As Amy lives in Alabama, I understand that she pees outside as most Alabamians do.<br /><br />Now our wonderful friend Jeff, imparted one that wasn’t half-bad…<br /><br /><i>“It’s colder than a room full of ex-wives.”</i><br /><br />Not bad, but I have no idea why his reference dealt with plural ex-wives.  We may have to talk to him about that.<br /><br />And then I heard this…<br /><br /><i>“It's so cold that the local flasher was caught *describing* himself </i><br /><i>to women.”</i><br /><br />And then there is this…<br /><br /> “It’s so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.”<br /><br />The only reason that I find this one funny, is because when working at the Beer Mine Drive-Thru during the winter?<br /><br />It’s a constant 38 degrees sans wind in the beer cooler, and yeah, THAT big ass beer refrigerator keeps one warm relative to the actual outside.<br /><br />Lastly, I got this one on Facebook last night…<br /><br /><i>“It's so cold outside that my sac feels like two peas in a mail mans leather bag.”</i><br /><br />I have no idea what that means….I don’t know why a mailman/mail woman would be delivering pea pods, but I liked it because somebody participated in my shout out for jokes.<br /><br />And that’s good enough for me.<br /><br />Oh sure, this post could be longer and much more scintillating, but damn, it’s cold outside!!<br /><br /><i><b>Cheers!!</b></i><br /><br /><i>Matt-Man</i><br /><br /><i><a href="mailto:matmaniws@ymail.com">matmaniws@ymail.com</a></i><br /><a href="https://twitter.com/MattMan_IWS" target="_blank"><i><span style="color: blue;">@mattman_iws</span></i></a><br /><i><a href="https://www.facebook.com/mattmaniws" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">My Facebook Page</span></a></i></div>

Cold Jokes are as Dry as They are Weary

Happy Hump Day ladies and gentlemen…Matt-Man here with some not so funny stand-up comedic type jokes for ya… Unless you live in the desert s...

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