Yom Kippur: An Ex-Catholic's Road to Damascus

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM3KCfkwovs7DRnkFmq8L2mio1BILkUretznhyphenhyphenWfXMVxwN32VwsJR-tpc3s6PhIgzkYAYp-o0Q-ylxsE40wCKQeGbmz-tzil0AmQ-ILSJv50oy64ySxEFs1KG_CLCrmTMCELSiQoPw6L3H/s1600/yom+kippur+quotes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM3KCfkwovs7DRnkFmq8L2mio1BILkUretznhyphenhyphenWfXMVxwN32VwsJR-tpc3s6PhIgzkYAYp-o0Q-ylxsE40wCKQeGbmz-tzil0AmQ-ILSJv50oy64ySxEFs1KG_CLCrmTMCELSiQoPw6L3H/s400/yom+kippur+quotes.jpg" width="400" /></a>Cheers and L’chaim my fellow inglorious bastards…<br /><br />Matthew Patrick Mahoney here for <i>IWS Radio</i>.<br /><br />Why do I utilize my entire and actual name during this address to you?<br /><br />Because today at sunset begins Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement, and I want to participate.<br /><br /><i>“That’s great.”</i>, you say…but why do you long to be Jewish now, you ask?<br /><br />Because my name Matthew is Hebrew (Gift of God), and Patrick in Latin, means “nobleman.”<br /><br />So just shut the hell up and listen to me...THE Gift of God Nobleman, and truthfully?<br /><br />You don’t even know, bitches.<br /><br />Anyhoo…<br /><br />As I am assuming the role of a Jew gone wrong, I’d like to atone for some of my sins this year…so far.<br /><br />I’d like to say first and foremost, that I should simply be professional at the Beer Mine, and attend to our customers without flirting.<br /><br />A nubile, 30 something customer with gorgeous Strawberry blonde hair and plump, yet awesome thighs, comes through on a daily basis.<br /><br />Today, she asked me, <i>“Don’t you love this cooler weather?"</i><br /><br />To which I said, <i>“No, I like it hot; and when it’s hot it only takes me two minutes to dress.”</i><br /><br />She responded, <i>“Well, I do understand that.”</i><br /><br />And I said, <i>“When it’s winter; it takes me twenty-five minutes to dress, of course, if I had a helper, it would only take twelve point five minutes.”</i><br /><br />She giggled, looked down at the lack of a bulge in my pants, and drove off.<br /><br />Why do I have to drive a completely innocent and good-natured customer/sales guy relationship into the perverse ground of sex?<br /><br />Because I can…I do…and I shall stop.<br /><br />Well, except for Kristina...Kristina who comes through late nights and told me that she likes to watch my biceps flex when I pick up her case of Bud Light bottles.<br /><br />I mean. c’mon…she likes to watch my less than average biceps flex, so to deny her that less than special moment, would be a less than special sin, and plus…<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6-bRJJu5H-MKExGhL44MWEBGGpIvydjSmxGPZ_qZnf2dKbSV3dgeoxgaKvBO-wQypFmkRF63aRDeQqgelWMPVoPHRiDeMLeFf2BfBZHbeB6DLrOLmRIZK4Ap4wCwGtu6ebr3OU_T3r9ci/s1600/mila+kunis+hot+jewish+babe+naked.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6-bRJJu5H-MKExGhL44MWEBGGpIvydjSmxGPZ_qZnf2dKbSV3dgeoxgaKvBO-wQypFmkRF63aRDeQqgelWMPVoPHRiDeMLeFf2BfBZHbeB6DLrOLmRIZK4Ap4wCwGtu6ebr3OU_T3r9ci/s400/mila+kunis+hot+jewish+babe+naked.jpg" width="400" /></a>I call her Special K, she calls me Special M, and well, it gives her a giggle, and seriously, that’s what I’m all about, but I guess even then, I may be truly ripping apart her femininity when I do that, so I shall stop.<br /><br />I know what I won’t do FOR SURE next year…<br /><br />I won’t post a picture of a Happy 9-11 Anniversary Cake on my Facebook page, because people hate <strike>satirical pictures and or writings</strike> anti-American electorate images and posts on their Facebook news feed.<br /><br />And well that's because they are stupid…er…I mean…they have different sensibilities than I do, and I have to accept that…and I will.<br /><br />You know what’s funny?<br /><br />I have spontaneously apologized for flirting with my customers at work and posting “controversial” stuff on the internet.<br /><br />But you know what’s sad?<br /><br />At least for this year, I think in all truthfulness, those offenses are pretty damn lame.<br /><br />And because of those two things being the nadir of my current offensiveness...I apologize to you all, and seek atonement from myself...for evidently growing old.<br /><br /><i>Cheers!!</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>Matt-Man</i><br /><br /><a href="mailto:mattmaniws@ymail.com">mattmaniws@ymail.com</a><br /><a href="https://twitter.com/MattMan_IWS" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Mattman_IWS</span></a><br /><a href="https://www.facebook.com/mattmaniws" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">My Facebook Page</span></a></div>

Yom Kippur: An Ex-Catholic's Road to Damascus

Cheers and L’chaim my fellow inglorious bastards… Matthew Patrick Mahoney here for IWS Radio . Why do I utilize my entire and actual name du...

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