News for today's 2018

Typical Day at CNN for John King

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br /><b><i>*Dramatic Music* </i></b><br /><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Announcer:</b> “This is Breaking News from CNN. We now go live to John King.” </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi56Vkr4cBbGVtnB0mpKOO7ngwtlnnuLJBoucvGYmv86cU8TRAg-9uRshVVJcaqoZSk4H4IBJvOsXKm0Kbeu99ile4CpR-6qS3svbdnahQAzOcmM2DaupsKAuF51HCk7whRVYOmhJrbGoc/s1600/John-King-Stupid-CNN-Handsome.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi56Vkr4cBbGVtnB0mpKOO7ngwtlnnuLJBoucvGYmv86cU8TRAg-9uRshVVJcaqoZSk4H4IBJvOsXKm0Kbeu99ile4CpR-6qS3svbdnahQAzOcmM2DaupsKAuF51HCk7whRVYOmhJrbGoc/s320/John-King-Stupid-CNN-Handsome.jpg" width="212" /></a><b>John King:</b> “Thank you anonymous voice that creeps me out, this is John King and I have breaking news </div>that is sooooo breaking. Nobody has this news but me! Woo-Hoo! I got it first! Where’s Fox News? Where’s MSNBC? Nobody knows! Well, you better call them and have them gather around the TV to see how journalism is done bitches! <br /><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">CNN and I, John King, the greatest journalist in the history of cable news and quite possibly the history of any and all news organizations the world over, have breaking news. My sources, which nobody else has because I’m charming and good-looking and TENATIOUS have told me and I can report that there has been an arrest in the Boston Marathon Bombing. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">BOO-YEAH!!!! In your face Jim Miklaszewski! In YOUR face whoever the hell is responsible for breaking news over at Fox! I beat yoooooouuuuuuuu! I beat youuuuuuuuuuu! Ha Ha! Wooooooo! You suck! </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">Uh, anyway, as I reported … FIRST! … and CNN can confirm, an arrest has been made in the Boston Marathon Bombing Attack!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">  </span>My sources tell me that a ‘dark-skinned’ male has been taken into custody and will be brought to the courthouse here in Boston very soon to be arraigned. I know some of you won’t be happy about that ‘dark-skinned’ part, but hey, the truth is truth! All I can do is report the facts, right Chris Cuomo?”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Chris Cuomo:</b> “Damn right John Boy!” *high five* “Way to be on it! That’s why I left ABC so I could work for a WINNER! How ‘bout you Fran Townsend? After all those years in the Bush admin, this must make you happy!” <br /><br /><b>Fran Townsend:</b> “God-DAMN right it does!” *high five* “Best of both worlds for me because they’ve got the towel head in custody and I STILL get to blame it all on Obama and remind everyone that GW Bush kept us all safe!” </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>John King and Chris Cuomo: </b>“Hey-OOOOOOOOOOO!” </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Anderson Cooper: </b>“Uh guys, we might have a slight problem here.” </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Fran Townsend: </b>“Oh God. Here we go. The gay guy is gonna remind us not to use words like ‘towel-head’ again.” </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>John King: </b>“Party pooper”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Chris Cuomo:</b> “Lighten up dude!” </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Anderson Cooper:</b> “Well, yeah that’s a problem, but more importantly the Justice Department says the story is false.” </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>John King: </b>“Oh bullshit! You’re just trying to piss on my parade fancy pants.” </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Anderson Cooper: </b>“No, I’m serious. Justice says no arrest, no one in custody and they don’t even have anyone ID’d from the photos or videos.” </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>John King: </b>“I … I …. I can’t believe this.” </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i>*Chris Cuomo and Fran Townsend casually walk away leaving John King alone on set*</i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>John King:</b> “Who would do this to me? This is so wrong. My sources are so good. I’m so good-looking! What the hell happened.” </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i>*camera fades out from John King to Piers Morgan in studio* </i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Piers Morgan:</b> “BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! WOOOOO! THAT WAS MY BEST CELL PHONE HACK EVER!!!! AAHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hey wait …. Is that camera on?? What the hell guys???!!!” </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><b>  </b><br /><div class="MsoNormal"><b><i>*Dramatic Music* </i></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">“This is Breaking News from CNN! We go now to CNN headquarters in Atlanta and Wolf Blitzer” </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Wolf Blitzer:</b> “Good afternoon folks, we have breaking news concerning the Boston Marathon Bomber. Let’s go immediately to senior political correspondent John King. John, what do you have for us ….” </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>John King: </b>“Thanks Wolf. Ladies and gentlemen, I can confirm that I, John King, have learned EXCLUSIVELY that there has been NO ARREST made so far today in the Boston Marathon Bombing investigation. There have been some rumors out there, repeated by some of our competitors that there had been an arrest, but I can confirm, absolutely that there hasn’t been one.” </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="mailto:Jayman3768@gmail.com">Jayman3768@gmail.com</a><br /><a href="http://facebook.com/jayman68">Facebook.com/jayman68</a><br /><a href="http://www.twitter.com/jayman_iws" target="_blank">@Jayman_IWS </a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div></div>

Typical Day at CNN for John King

*Dramatic Music* Announcer: “This is Breaking News from CNN. We now go live to John King.” John King: “Thank you anonymous voice that cree...

Typical Day at CNN for John King

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