Happy Kwanzaa

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKVkoqFjSfnrTuHlV9VGKFwuQpmo3ucJl52AItJIcXXZ6KDDOYpDtP2p6rPvUXU_6oCDsqjHBZyhaxm7PH_6OzAuNb7kqSolEaG0QgsDcYBUCDJ4vj0nHIdQzcX6K2Bz9jwE_q90_d1gc/s1600/Kwanzaa_Santa_Claus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKVkoqFjSfnrTuHlV9VGKFwuQpmo3ucJl52AItJIcXXZ6KDDOYpDtP2p6rPvUXU_6oCDsqjHBZyhaxm7PH_6OzAuNb7kqSolEaG0QgsDcYBUCDJ4vj0nHIdQzcX6K2Bz9jwE_q90_d1gc/s400/Kwanzaa_Santa_Claus.jpg" width="267" /></a></div>Prior to Christmas, Jayman had a kick-back and one on one with Santa Claus, so as today marks the beginning of Kwanzaa, I am fortunate enough to have a jovial smack-down with Santa’s black (oh, excuse me, African-Americanized) counterpart, Bantu Claus…<br /><br />Matt:  So, Bantu Claus, if that is your <i>REAL</i> name…Ha Ha…what be up n‘shit?<br /><br />Bantu:  Whatchoo mean, what be up n’shit?  What the hell kinda vagary is dat?<br /><br />Matt:  Sorry…I was trying to speak your speak, and be all down with your sub-culture n’shit.<br /><br />Bantu:  Well stop it fool; you sound silly, and knock it off wif da “n’shit” shit.  That sounds foolish, pedestrian, and lactose-intolerant.<br /><br />Matt:  Yes it doe---wha?  Never mind…and I am sorry, but anyhow…Kwanzaa is known as the holiday of the first fruits; why is that?<br /><br />Bantu:  Hell, I don’t know.  Some know-it-all black ass professor from UCLA came up with that.  Wanted to give us black folk and our African heritage a reason for da season or sumthin.  First fruits mah ass…Hell the only fruits in Africa is the grapefruit of hate and the apple of angst…<br /><br />Matt:  So ya think he should have called it something else?<br /><br />Bantu:  He should have referred to Kwanzaa as, first heartaches.  Stupid tenyuhed-ass nigga!!<br /><br />Matt:  So do you, like Santa Claus, distribute gifts all over the world?<br /><br />Bantu:  I try, but it’s a little more difficult for me.<br /><br />Matt:  How so?<br /><br />Bantu:  See Matt-Man…Santa gots a sled powered by magic reindeer, and all I gots is a broken down ‘64 Buick Electra Deuce and a Quarter powered only by overpriced gasoline and an over powerful desire to gets out of my spoused-up crib one night a year, so I only do the forty-eight contigatory states.<br /><br />Matt:  Oh I thought Kwanzaaa was picking up in Canada as well.  You don’t go there?<br /><br />Bantu:  Do you even know how much it costs to get a passport these days, whitebread?<br /><br />Matt:  Well, no, no I---<br /><br />Bantu:  Sheeeeeet…It would take me four weeks of dumpster diving for beer cans in YOUR dumpster to get one.<br /><br />Matt:  Wow, that’s a lot.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMN29JofNucw2A8sut9RPNnV1q29Uqw3qRkZFK42D2HT9NApMOSlHoSQh91LOBnPXzHeGAU5E848oWDHWaHKmvROMx-1QW_oXnl3lbSYOdANaa_fWOWLk3syXnJL72RI211-u6ibX_72M/s1600/Hot+naked+-busty-black-women-5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMN29JofNucw2A8sut9RPNnV1q29Uqw3qRkZFK42D2HT9NApMOSlHoSQh91LOBnPXzHeGAU5E848oWDHWaHKmvROMx-1QW_oXnl3lbSYOdANaa_fWOWLk3syXnJL72RI211-u6ibX_72M/s400/Hot+naked+-busty-black-women-5.jpg" width="306" /></a><br />Bantu:  “Wow that’s a lot.”  Is that you all got to say boy?  I’m sorry…I’m sorry…I’m just pissed.<br /><br />Matt:  Why?  What’s wrong?<br /><br />Bantu:  Well, my brethren and sisteren claim to want presents that reflect our Africanicity, so I show up with dictators, mosquito nets, and toy boy soldiers.<br /><br />Matt:  And they don’t appreciate that that?<br /><br />Bantu:  Well Hell No…All they want is a six pack of Steel Reserve and a bleach blonde with a big ass.<br /><br />Matt:  So typical…and the bruthas probably only appreciate it for a minute.<br /><br />Bantu:  Damn right my friend, and that is why I brought you some 211's and a hot babe, because I know you will love on both for hours.<br /><br />Matt:  Holy Cow, brutha Bantu…It’s a Kwanzaa Miracle!!<br /><br />Bantu: Word to your mutha, and Happy Kwanzaa, Matt-Man!!<br /><br /><i>Cheers!!</i><br /><br /><i><a href="mailto:mattmaniws@ymail.com">mattmaniws@ymail.com</a></i><br /><a href="https://twitter.com/MattMan_IWS" target="_blank"><i><span style="color: blue;">@mattman_iws</span></i></a><br /><br /></div>

Happy Kwanzaa

Prior to Christmas, Jayman had a kick-back and one on one with Santa Claus, so as today marks the beginning of Kwanzaa, I am fortunate enoug...

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